HomeTagsPosts tagged with "funny"

funny

There's being horny, and then there's faking your own death to pursue said horniness and sexual urges. I mean, Valentine's Day is tomorrow so maybe take notes if you're in this lady's boat.

Seems extreme? According to the Guardiana nun named Joan of Leeds faked her death to escape a convent after she decided the celibate life didn't quite suit her, back in 1318. Now THAT'S a boss b*tch.

A team of researchers at the University of York found Joan's story in the margins of a register in a Latin note scribed by Archbishop William Melton, who wrote about the "scandalous rumour". 

Melton elaborated on Joan's incredible story, saying that she, “impudently cast aside the propriety of religion and the modesty of her sex."

“Out of a malicious mind simulating a bodily illness, she pretended to be dead… crafted a dummy in the likeness of her body in order to mislead the devoted faithful and she had no shame in procuring its burial in a sacred space amongst the religious of that place”

Archbishop Melton was entirely shooketh by her behaviour, claiming that her actions were "cunning” and “nefarious.” Yikes.

So she faked a disease, buried a dummy which looked the image of her, and escaped the convent to fornicate and spread her wild oats. That's not all, folks…

Melton's notes on her faked death continued; “Seduced by indecency, she involved herself irreverently and perverted her path of life arrogantly to the way of carnal lust and away from poverty and obedience."

“Having broken her vows and discarded the religious habit, she now wanders at large to the notorious peril to her soul and to the scandal of all of her order.” She swapped poverty and total obedience for some decent coitus and one-night-stands with medieval f*ckboys, basically.

Trending

A few months ago, Will Smith appeared on the cover of Entertainment Weekly alongside the stars of Disney's live-action remake of Aladdin, and people had something to SAY.

Basically, he wasn't blue, and this deeply offended the general public. Like, DEEPLY offended. Scuba diving in the Pacific deep.

He took to Instagram to defend himself, writing; "I’m gonna be BLUE! This is how the Genie is in human or disguise form. My character will be CGI most of the movie."

However, during the Grammy's ad-break last night, a new trailer for the movie was released and once again, fans ain't happy.

Disney managed to sneak in a minute-long trailer featuring Naomi Scott as Jasmine and Mena Massoud in the protagonist role. Will Smith's turn as the Genie has EVERYONE talking.

The 50-year-old actor is under a lot of pressure, taking over the reboot role from Robin Williams' iconic performance.

Sharing his own reaction to the trailer release, Will wrote on Instagram: "I told y’all I was gon’ be Blue!! Y’all need to trust me more often!" 

When he accepted the role, the actor said: "Whenever you’re doing things that are iconic, it’s always terrifying. The question is always: Where was there meat left on the bone? Robin didn’t leave a lot of meat on the bone with the character."

The 1992 animation starred Robin Williams, and became especially iconic for his role in the voice acting and music.

The memes have already begun flowing in, and we are entertained to say the least.

Even Judge Judy was dragged into the hilarity:

The reactions are pure gas:

Paul Giamatti from the iconic Frankie Munez flick Big Fat Liar was even used:

Viewers weren't READY:

The poor man is getting dragged, by his own Shark Tale character:

We feel a bit sorry for him…

Do you think he deserves all this slagging? We don't think so, but by GOD are we enjoying the memes. Keep 'em coming, people.

Aladdin is set for release on 24 May, so we'll see what the reaction is to the full flick in due course.

Feature image: ComingSoon

Trending

Many of us have the unpleasant experience under our belt of dating an absolute snake. You know the one; the eternal f*ckboi who most likely ghosts you after slithering into your heart, who can't commit to a relationship and even cheats.

He's fluent in Parseltongue and has been a core member of the Slytherin Quidditch team for years.

His best mate is Draco Malfoy, he calls him 'Malfy' for short, and goes golfing with his dad Lucius every Saturday.

harry potter GIF

He wears Taylor Swift's snake print Reputation merch, but won't listen to her empowering tunes. He makes you pay for both of you on nights out, and flirts with your mates.

He gaslights the crap out of you, and gives double-handed compliments that are disguised as compliments.

Most likely he says he wants more space, even though you barely see him, and tries to argue that your relationship is casual instead of serious, no matter what the circumstances are.

Sounds familiar? Well, we've got some hiss-worthy revenge for you, best served cold.

slithering jack quaid GIF by Vinyl

A competition is being run by Wild Life Sydney to name their brown snakes after a douchebag ex, and requires the entrants to say why their ex best deserves it. GENIUS.

The programme also asks participants to donate to it's conservation fund, to help Australian native wildlife by funding research and education. It's a Valentine's Day treat, if you ask us.

The zoo's general manager, Mark Connolly, said that the competition could give "someone unlucky in love … something else to celebrate on Valentine’s Day this year."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by (@wildlifesydneyzoo) on

The winner gets to have a snake named after your slimy ex-conquest, and also an annual pass to visit your trashy snake in the zoo.

How adorable…the winner will be announced on Valentines Day to fit the romantic mood.

We can think of a fair few names to be put forward of men who have MAJORLY hissed us off, what about you ladies? 

Feature image: News24

Trending

The whole Ariana Grande 7 Rings tattoo debacle is honestly absurd, but yet it's STILL GOING. We're getting as bored of it as she is to be honest…

If you're puzzled about the reference, in summary our home-girl Ari tried to get a tattoo which translated to 7 Rings, her latest number one hit, but instead she accidentally got the Japanese symbol for a barbecue grill restaurant. Awkward. 

She then tried to fix it after consulting a supposed friend of hers who spoke the lingo, but her amendment translated the ink to say 'Japanese BBQ finger'. We're dead.

The Thank U, Next singer has gained a HUGE amount of attention online over the error, but now a certain tattoo removal studio has offered her some serious cash to have them laser it off for her.

TMZ has acquired an offer letter from LaserAway, a company who want to strike a deal with Grande that would offer her free laser removal of the tattoo in exchange for a photoshoot at LaserAway and one post per month for a year about her experience.

Also, ONE and a HALF MILLION DOLLARS. How do they even have that money to offer in the first place?

In response, Ari tweeted; "I'll give y'all a million to get off my nuts." to which we say; "Hear, Hear." This needs to end, stat.

Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber's infamous manager, Scooter Braun, responded to the claims;

"I can't speak for Ariana as we have not received this letter, however, if they're willing to send me the offer, I'm sure I'd be happy to get a tattoo and then remove it real quick … for $1.5 million." Eh, WHAT?

Image; TMZ

Braun continued; "Hopefully, we can make this deal before her album comes out next week…shameless plug."

The offer letter is signed by company president, Todd Heckmann, and genuinely concludes with, "Thank u, next tiny barbecue grill." We can't.

What a wild ride…we want to get off now, it's becoming a bit much.

Feature image credit: ABC News – Go.com

Trending

Toy Story 4 is making its big return in the summer of 2019, coming to screens this June, despite the fact that most fans feel a satisfying ending has already happened.

The commercially-acclaimed Toy Story 3 ended the franchise on a perfect note, seeing Andy off to college and saying a tearful goodbye to Woody and the gang.

The fourth instalment really does appear to be the finale of the iconic Pixar movies, centring around toys who come to life. 

In the latest series of teaser clips, Bo Beep has announced her big return to Woody and Buzz' gang, thank God. We love a bitta female representation. Especially when they're wielding a large stick.

Tom Hanks, the voice of Woody, has said that he couldn't even look at the rest of the team and cast while recording the ending to the movie. My EMOTIONS.

Bo Beep has got a new-look, and she's looking badass AF. They've also introduced two new (adorable) characters, Ducky and Bunny.

Even better, Ducky and Bunny are being played by the HILARIOUS veteran comedy duo, Key and Peele (Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key)

Famed for their portrayals of Barack Obama and his 'anger translater' Luther, these two will bring some humour to the already-classic franchise. 

WE CANNOT WAIT. Bring on June 21 2019.

Trending

The Late Late Show are seeking out singles and couples for their renowned Valentine's Special, which returns to screens on Friday, February 8.

Do you have the greatest love of all? Ryan Tubridy is on the hunt for Ireland's most spine-tingly romantic love stories, and has asked the public for their help:

“We’re searching up and down the country for the most romantic tales of true love –  and we want to hear from you," he said. Ooh La La… PLEASE Share your stories, tug on our heartstrings and help us find our other half.

to me you are perfect love actually GIF

We're talkin' single tear kind of tales, the ones that make you grab the tissues and text your mates saying, "Love really does exist after all, despite the fact I keep getting ghosted."

Maybe you’ve travelled the world but ended up falling head over heels with your next door neighbour, or maybe you’re celebrating a special wedding anniversary and would like to tell us where it all began – whatever your story is, we want to hear from you!”

You can also still be in the run to be an audience member on the night, they need eligible lads and lasses who aren't camera shy and are looking for their soulmate. Remember the incredible proposal from last year?

You can check out the process on their website here.

To apply, all you have to do is e-mail latelatespecials@rte.ie or post a letter to: Greatest Love of All, Late Late Show, PO Box 170, RTÉ, Dublin 4.

The Valentine's Special will air at 9:35pm on RTÉ One on Friday, February 8. We can't wait, it's always gas craic altogether.

Trending

Many of us may have already begun planning a present for our significant other for THAT special (dreaded?) day every year; Valentine's Day.

From chocolates, red roses and bling to diamond engagement rings (eugh), most people tend to go for the clichés.

Dealz have never really been known for their thoughtful, meaningful V-Day gifts. Or so we thought…

Yep, Dealz have created the gift of… nothing… especially for us this year. How thoughtful.

If you intend on breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/co-worker/enemy/pet/frenemy/neighbour, this would do the trick. It's the perfect way of telling someone, "Hey, you really do mean absolutely nothing to me."

Who said romance is dead? Dealz have just revived the motherf*cker for us all to enjoy. 

the office GIF

 Some of may play that old game where we say we actually want nothing so that we look polite, selfless, even regal. But we all know it's BULLSH*T. WE WANT PRESENTS.

Whether it's one ring, or even seven like Ariana Grande, we're expecting something worthy of our time.

So while we may chuckle at Dealz' gift, if anyone ever got us this, there'd be hell to pay. Seriously. 

Trending

To anyone who has yet to watch the gloriousness that is Sex Education, BOY are you missing out right now.

Netflix' latest teen show is beyond hilarious, heartwarming, important, inclusive and damn educational; we thank the gods someone had the genius to create it.

Some of the most memorable scenes in the hit show, watched by millions in its debut week of streaming, are the sex scenes.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Sex Education (@sexeducationetflix) on

For some of the young cast, these were their premiere roles, so many of us would assume they were embarrassed or awkward while filming the vital and sometimes amusing sexual moments. 

Surprisingly, the cast have spoken about how filming these graphic scenes were actually their favourite, because of the important conversations which ensued because of them.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Sex Education (@sexeducationetflix) on

Aimee Lou Wood, who plays Aimee Gibbs, chatted to POPSUGAR about the laughs the cast had while on set, preparing for the sexy script to be played out.

Her character is in the opening of the first episode, having sex with Adam's character (played brilliantly by Connor Swindells) and asking him, "Do you like my tits?" 

She actually found it easier than she thought to carry out these moments; "I thought the sex scenes would be the scariest days, but they were actually really fun," she explained.

"When you have someone with you, like either Connor, or Chris Jenks ('top-heavy Steve'), they were just such fun days. because it's like quality time with one other person, and you just get to know people so quickly," she described.

"The conversations get really deep because you're just put into this environment where you're exposing yourself so much that the only way you can deal with it is just letting it all go. You make really good friends and you get to know people really well."

Kedar Williams-Stirling, who plays the handsome school jock Jackson, agreed with Aimee; "I think that's what the sex does in the show, isn't it? It kind of opens up the can of worms for other topics, which is great."

He confessed to enjoying working with Emma Mackey, who played the badass 'complex female characters' Maeve Wiley, on their sex scenes.

"I think that those are the scenes where I really got to know my character best in . . . they both kind of show who they really are when it's just those two together."

Mackey cited one of the shows most moving guest stars for completing her favourite scene: Lu Corfield, who played Sarah's character at the abortion clinic.

"She completely transformed my entire world. She's a sensational actor and woman, and I was with her for two days and in the space of that two days I just felt that we had this bond, and she's such a special woman. That was incredible," Emma said.

Alistair Petrie, who plays Mr. Groff, Adam's dad and the school headmaster was another member of the supporting cast who made a monumental impression.

"He's such a great actor. Working with him, you forget that you're working because he's so hilarious, and so talented at everything. He really makes you feel comfortable when you're working with him," said his on-screen son, Conor Swindells.

"Any scene that I ever had to do with him was always a blast."

Asa Butterfield had nothing but rave reviews for his on-screen mother Joan, played by Gillian Anderson. Playing the role of a sex therapist, her son Otis struggles with his own sexual issues, which he must navigate without her.

"I love working with Gillian, I think we had some really nice scenes which are both funny but also incredibly touching."

The show has been praised for its magical ability to combine hilarious moments with deeper issues.

One character who embodied this feat was Eric, played unbelievably well by Ncuti Gatwa. He had us giggling one second and weeping on his behalf the next as he struggles through his difficult relationships as a gay man with his father.

Gatwa's favourite scene to film is one which illuminates Eric's entire journey: The scene where Eric returns to church with his family, after feeling disconnected from his religion and community following a homophobic attack.

"It was just nice to have the whole set, everybody kitted out in their geles and their traditional cloth, and just the storyline of that: Eric being embraced back into his community after he's been 'excommunicated' for a while. That day was so full of joy and light."

The whole cast bring us joy and light, okay? SEX EDUCATION SPARKS JOY.

Season one is available on Netflix now, we're currently huddled in prayer for a season two. Join us.

Feature image: Dans Media Digest

Trending

Pay-Day Purgatory. That middle time during the worst month of every year where you literally forget the concept of monetary transactions because money does not exist in your life anymore.

Spare change? Goodbye.

Contactless card? Forget it, gal.

Online shopping? You're delusional.

pay me jenny slate GIF

The days of being financially independent are long gone. Winter is here.

None of us can recall a time where we could 'spot' our friends for food, or the blissful moment when you don't have to check your balance because you're aware that it ain't empty. (Rarely happens but for some unicorns apparently it exists)

Those were the days…but now we're trapped in Pay-Day-Purgatory, land of the tense and agonising wait to be paid. Those last few days where all you can do is sit in your home and mope, because moping is free. 

 life vs GIF

1. Looking in long-lost-lands…

2. Time no longer has meaning

3.  Have centuries passed or is that just us?

 4. We're getting snappy, to say the least

5. We've even turned to milk for guidance

6. There's not much time left to wait, but we don't know if we can hold on much longer…

7. When dat sweet, sweet coin finally hits the bank, those heart eye emojis will be let LOOSE

8. Let's be grateful we're not American federal workers right now, those people need prayer

9. We'll be like Mario himself collecting those beautiful golden coins the SECOND the cash slides itself into our banking DMs

10. We're being majorly left on read by pay day…Not cool

11. Let's be honest, we really shouldn't be trusted with money in the first place, should we?

12. Finally, we'll leave you with a soporific lullaby to put your worries to bed…Pay day will come. Eventually. From the ashes. Maybe. 

The countdown continues anew, once again we wait in the darkness by the frosty window, trying to remember a time when we could wave our bank cards and expect something in return.

Shout out to January for being an absolute B*TCH.

pay me GIF by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Trending

Ryan Reynolds is the king of trolling; his birthday messages to his wife, Blake Lively, keeps everyone hugely entertained, but now he's moved on to another famous female.

Hollywood icon Betty White celebrated her 97th birthday yesterday, and received adorable messages from celebrities worldwide.

Ryan's comical note was definitely the winner, however. The 42-year-old actor referred to the veteran actress as his 'ex-girlfriend', should Blake be worried?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on

He captioned the image of himself and White;

"I don’t usually wish ex-girlfriends Happy Birthday. But Betty’s special. Happy Birthday to the one and only, Betty White," followed by a birthday cake emoji.

The duo are both renowned for their quick wit, and have known each other since she portrayed his grandmother in the 2009 rom-com, The Proposal, alongside Sandra Bullock.

Sandra Bullock, Reynolds and White filmed a GAS Funny or Die promotional video for the film, and it seems they've been best friends ever since.

After Deadpool premiered in 2016, White made her own review for the flick; "Hello, I just saw the most anticipated movie of the year," White said about the Reynolds-made movie, while lounging in a red velvet chair.

"It was glorious. Once in a generation, a movie comes along that your whole family will love. If your family is a f*cking group of ass-kissing inbreds," she jokingly dead-panned. "Plus, Ryan Reynolds looks so f*cking handsome in his red leather suit."

Reynolds wished White a happy birthday back in 2018 with an amusing photo of himself wearing his Deadpool costume on Instagram, holding a martini and hot dog.

There also featured a framed photo of White eating a hot dog, from her recent movie, Parade. The beloved Betty was asked the secret to living a long and happy life,

Her ICONIC answer, was of course; vodka and hot dogs, "probably in that order." Marry us.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on

Reynolds wrote, "Happy Birthday to the one and only Betty White! Cheers to another year of ‘Tinis and Weenies!" This appears to be how the amazing tradition was born, and long may it last.

They  both possess such dry senses of humour, which essentially makes them a match made in comedic heaven.

We're sure Blake approves. Happy Birthday Betty, you Queen. Never change. 

Trending

We all remember the trends rotating around primary schools; whether it was Tamagotchis, friendship bracelets, Scoobies, Loom bands or marbles, we were ADDICTED.

Apparently, Katy Perry was a little alternative when she was a kid, unsurprisingly. Her brain went pretty much straight to the gutter, the Tom Cruise lust-inspired gutter.

The I Kissed A Girl singer was spending some quality time with her parents last weekend and was exploring some former momentoes, when a letter from 1996 resurfaced and shook us deeply.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on

Katy naturally thought it was so amusing that Instagram had to witness the hilarity, especially since the reason for her sixth grade suspension was DRY HUMPING.

You might be wondering why on earth Katy was dry humping a tree, understandably. Tom Cruise was to blame;

"At the 2:00 p.m. recess, Katy and four other students were in an 'off-limits' area (behind the backboards) practising a skit. Katy pretended that a tree was Tom Cruise and began making sexual motions (pelvic thrusts) to the tree."

Image: @katyperry Instagram

Of all the 1990s teen heartthrobs to dry hump bark for, Tom Cruise? We're more on the Leonardo DiCaprio circa 1996 when Romeo and Juliet was released kinda vibe.

The letter also stated, "When Katy met with Mrs. Calkins, Mr. White, and myself, she was asked to describe or demonstrate what she had been seen doing on the playground in front of some other students."

"Katy chose to describe it. Her words were 'it was inappropriate' and 'like making out.'"

The star was previously in trouble at her Santa Barbara Christian School for calling younger students "brats". (Fair)

She also admitted to playing Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare, which the school said "resulted in students kissing on the cheek."

Humping a tree was the last straw for her no-nonsense Christian School, baby Katy sounds like GAS company to be honest.

Trending

Westlife have officially made their long-awaited return to our lives, thank the gods, but it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows back in the day for the boyband.

The band stopped by The Graham Norton Show last week to perform their brand new single, Hello My Love, but Nicky Byrne revealed some spicy drama.

According to the radio DJ and member of the group, Liam Gallagher told the band to "f*ck off" the first time they met. Ouch, someone take the lads to the burns unit STAT.

The 40-year-old singer claimed the band flew to London in 1998 after signing a record deal, with Louis Walsh as their manager.

Byrne told Graham Norton; “So they were having a drink in a circle of people so me and one of the boys walked over and tipped them on the shoulder."

“Liam turned around and we said, 'Liam we're Louis Walsh's new band and he just went "f*** off”. So we just f****d off." The salt, it's just too real.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by LatestOasisNews (@latestoasisnews) on

The group's new single is their first release in almost a decade, and it was penned by pop legend Ed Sheeran. 

Hello My Love went straight to number one on the iTunes on Thursday evening, and Westlife even got a congratulatory message from ex-band member Brian McFadden, despite rumours of bad blood.

Hello My Love has been popular with fans, but frequently compared to Sheeran’s hit Castle On A Hill as opposed to “your typical Westlife song”.

Nicky Byrne, Kian Egan, Mark Feehily and Shane Filan will embark on their Twenty Tour this summer, playing two huge gigs in Croke Park in July.

Kian reiterated his opinion that their fans would be “taken aback” by their new sound, according to Metro UK“Good songs are good songs, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a Westlife song or not.”

The Twenty Tour is their fastest-selling ever, selling a whopper 400,000 tickets within 48 hours of release. 

Trending