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sex education

The giggles, the embarrassment and the speculation circled the classroom – a lady was on her way to teach us about sex.

Cue the dildo sitting in the centre of the table and the dodgy glances between a bunch of 17-year-old girls.

After a brief, two-sentence description on what a penis was – it was whipped away, as the woman exclaimed that we would be WAAAY too distracted by the sight of the male anatomy  – b*tch, please.

Periods, pregnancy and STIs were mentioned, and that was it – that's all I can remember about my sex education in school – but it seems like I was one of the lucky ones.

Grilling the SHEmazing office about their sex ed, more often than not I got the reply of – 'we didn't get any,' 'I went to an all-girls school,' or 'there was the advice of waiting until you were married.'

I'm not gonna lie but I was stunned – but I don't know why? If you even try to talk to the majority of Irish men about periods – they're clueless, and that it isn't entirely their fault – it's the culture we've been raised with.

Shame around sex, unplanned pregnancy and masturbation are commonplace in classrooms around the country.

But the lack of sex education means that young people are missing out on serious topics too – these are just a number of topics that weren't discussed in our Irish sex education lessons.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Consent

It is only in the last couple of years has the issue of consent been raised in our society.

Yet still, people dismiss the importance of teaching men and women what is and isn't consensual sex, kissing and touching.

The word wasn't even uttered in the classroom and when the possibility of it being taught in universities arose, people scoffed.

If you do have the opportunity to go and learn about consent, please do.

Porn

God forbid that the 'expert' stood at the top of the room might address the issue of what you see in porn. 

But we could only imagine the looks and dismissal you would receive if you even try to ask the question.

Yet the porn industry is a problem for young men and women around the country – leading to very high, misinformed expectations and unreasonable pressure around sex for both parties.

More often than not, both genders feel like their body and performances can't live up to what they see on porn – and FYI, the reason for that is because porn isn't reality. 

Unplanned Pregnancy, Miscarriage, The Morning After Pill, Abortion and Fertility issues

Usually, the pregnancy topic is approached from a very unrealistic standpoint – "when you find yourself a nice husband, you can settle down and have a baby." 

I know first hand what unplanned pregnancy feels like and I can confirm that none of my sex ed helped me prepare myself for how scary and challenging the situation was.

There's no information offered surrounding the morning after pill, the time window you have to use it and how effective it is.

And of course, because abortion was illegal – it wasn't even dared to be uttered.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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However, the topic of miscarriage could and should have been spoken about, so if you ever find yourself in this heartbreaking situation, you know what to do and what to expect – to know that you aren't alone and you haven't done anything wrong in your pregnancy.

Fertility issues are very common in our society, particularly conditions such as endometriosis and polycystic ovary syndrome – yet we weren't given any information about the signs, symptoms and treatments available.

Contraception and STIs

Though some of us got the condom on the banana job – most of us didn't get a good understanding of what types of different options we have out there.

What the side effects come with different contraceptives, how effective they may or may not be and how crucial double protection is – (I now have a four-year-old thanks to this).

And although some of us got to grips with STDs and STIs, it was with a lot of stigma instead of real advice.

Education and being comfortable with the subject is becoming more and more important as there had been a 10 percent increase in STIs from 2016 to 2017.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Empowerment of personal sexuality, masturbation and sexual orientation

Want to learn that it's perfectly healthy to explore your body, mind and sexuality? Then don't go to your sex ed class in school.

More often than not, these subjects aren't even touched. 

Enjoying sex, masturbation and those we chose to love should be embraced and not shamed, since in the real world the majority of people don't give a flying f**k.

No LGBT or LGBTQ organisations were even mentioned or how normal it is to be attracted to the same sex.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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It's time to reform the way we educate the young people of Ireland.

Stop the archaic view of sex and give the next generation useful information on what they really need to know about.

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Sex plays a huge part of our lives, whether you’re having it, not having it, wanting it, not wanting it and everything in between, it motivates us daily in ways we probably don’t even think about. Despite this, it’s still not an open talking point. Private Education, a new podcast hosted by Aisling Keenan wishes to change this taboo, by having informal and educational chats about all things sex and relationships.

The first of its kind in Ireland, the podcast is all about open communication and understanding in the hopes to lead to more acceptance.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Sex education is lacking in schools and this doesn’t stop once you reach adulthood. Having written about it for so long, Aisling Keenan found that there was a lot of interest in the intricacies of sex and different relationships but there weren’t enough people talking openly about it. Private Education is an open space for people to talk in a healthy, informed and comfortable manner, with no subject ruled out.

Learn how different relationships work, from gay and lesbian relationships to open relationships to being single in your 30s and 40s. Listen to what’s going on behind closed doors in a fun and often hilarious manner, with the aim to normalise the way we talk about sex. The weekly podcast is like sitting down with your friends to have a chat, with guests so far including James Kavanagh, Laura Young from Laura’s Views and Fionnuala Jay, Karen Constantine from Lovely Girly Bits and Catherine Carton from Dainty Dress Diaries, Laura Cunningham and Andrea Horan are also confirmed to feature over the coming weeks.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Topics discussed include sex education in schools, stereotypes in the gay community and the ten most googled sex questions, so each show has something for everyone. The podcast is for anyone interested in sex, relationships and sexual health.

Aisling Keenan is a freelance journalist from Dublin who was previously the editor of XPOSÉ Magazine and XPOSÉ Beauty Bible, beauty editor for U Magazine and beauty columnist for the Irish Independent Weekend Magazine. She is also a regular contributor on radio, having appeared on shows such as RTÉ 2FM, Newstalk and SPIN 1038 while also appearing frequently on TV3's XPOSÉ.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Private Education wishes to change the narrative and allow people to talk about things in an open and healthy manner. Did you know for example the most googled sex question is “Where is the G spot?”! Or what a Bear is in the Gay Community? Private Education has all the answers. It’s like sex ed for adults.

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Otis Milburn has an announcement, and you DEFINITELY want to hear it.

The critically-acclaimed and fan favourite Netflix series Sex Education has won the heart of every single viewer, for it's hilarious script, lovable (complex) characters and important themes.

The iconic show touches on everything from sex, consent, homosexuality, prejudice, mental health, gender identity, abortion rights and racism. Somehow, they also made it funny, with beautiful acting. HOW?

That's right lads, Sex Education is coming BACK for a second season, after leaving us on a major cliffhanger at the end of season one.

The students at Moordale High School garnered a massive social media following (those quotable memes?), and it's estimated that over 40 million households watched the title within one month.

The fan demand for season two was predictably high, and Netflix has confirmed that the series has been renewed for another eight episodes of the heartfelt, funny and honest show. We STAN.

awkward gillian anderson GIF by NETFLIX

Season two is slated to start production this spring in England, with Gillian Anderson, Asa Butterfield, Emma Mackey, Ncuti Gatwa, Aimee-Lou Wood, Connor Swindells, Kedar Williams-Stirling, Tanya Reynolds, Patricia Allison and Alistair Petrie all reprising their unreal roles.

Fans are pretty darn excited, as we guessed. Twitter has had a slight meltdown as the thought of more open conversations about sex, which is SO needed in today's society.

Creator of the show Laurie Nunn will return alongside executive producer Jamie Campbell. The first season achieved popular acclaim for it's poignant treatment of relationships and identity, we're OBSESSED with Otis' sex therapist mum.

Gillian Anderson is a certified boss.

We love the intersectional appeal of the show. I mean, a jock reading Virginia Woolf, and liking it? That's some revolutionary sh*t right there.

Multidimensional characters in a teen show can be hard to come by, but this cast has delivered it with heart.

Series creator Laurie Nunn said,

“The reception to series one has been so exciting. Seeing how people across the world have connected to characters that began as ideas in my head is incredible. I’m hugely grateful to every person that has taken the time to watch the series, and I can’t wait to continue this amazing journey.”

Thank you, Laurie, for giving us Emma Mackey's character: the badass Maeve Wiley. We need her so badly in our lives.

fuck you high school GIF by NETFLIX

We can't wait to see what's in store for season two.

SPOILER ALERT:

At the end of season one, Otis was smooching his new gal Ola, much to Maeve's heartbreak. Will Maeve return to school? And what about Adam and Eric's burgeoning romance? We can't deal.

Bring on 2019, God exists and she has delivered us this gift.

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When we think of all the rumours what went around our schools about sex, we're actually cringing about how little we knew.

From the myth that you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex, to the ludicrous idea that promiscuous women have 'loose' vaginas, there was a lot of fallacy and not a lot of fact (sex ed curriculum, get your sh*t together).

Zava Med's 7 Years of Figuring Out Sex study asked 1000 people about the sexual superstitions they used to believe, and the results are both hilarious and a little concerning. 

Myth 1: Two condoms are better than one

This myth definitely circulated around secondary schools, however misguided it was.

The Zava Med study found that 12% of women and a whopping 28% of men believed that wearing two condoms during sex was better at preventing pregnancy than one. 

In actuality, wearing two condoms creates serious friction, leading the condoms to easily break.

 

Myth 2: Bigger hands and feet equals a bigger…

There's the common saying: 'You know what they say about a guy with big hands…', and apparently, 38% of women and 37% of men have heard that one. 

However, there is no correlation between hand or shoe size and penis size. 

One Korean study found that there is a connection between the length of a man's ring finger and his level of fertility, but it has nothing to do with the actual penis size.

 

Myth 3: Eating pineapple will make your you-know-what taste better

Not to sound totally ignorant, but we actually didn't know that this one was fake news. 

Apparently we're not alone, with 42% of men and 37% of women believing that pineapple is the key to palatable genitals. 

Myth 4:  You can't get pregnant by having sex in water

If Glee taught us anything, it's that having sex in a body of water can definitely get you pregnant. 

Water makes most condoms less safe because of the increased rick of them slipping off, with manufacturers not recommending them for use in showers, baths, or bodies of water. 

With 15% of women and 19% of men formally believing this myth, here's your PSA: Condoms are not effective in submerged situations. 

 

Myth 5: Masturbation leads to blindness

A classic. This myth was applied mostly to young men and women to shame them into not following through with their bodily urges to masturbate. 

11% of woman and 18% of men believed that masturbating would make you blind.

We sincerely hope the gals who once believed this have since discovered vibrators. 

 

Myth 6: Men pee inside their partner during intercourse

Sorry, WHAT? We had never heard of this one before, but apparently growing up, the concept of ejaculation was lost on many. 

A whopping 21% of men once believed that during sex, men peed into their partner. Can you not? 

Myth 7: You can make your own condoms 

According to Zava Med's 7 Years of Figuring Out Sex study, 6% of women and 9% of men believed that you could create your own condoms out of plastic bags or cling film. 

Seriously, we do not recommend. Step away from the Frubes package. 

 

Myth 8:  Women cannot get pregnant in the summer

Well ladies, the summer of love is about to begin because apparently we're all about to simultaneously lose our reproductive qualities because…well it's summer!

This has to be one of the silliest myths on the list, one no doubt started by some random person to their summer fling. Rude. 

Luckily only 5% of women and 7% of men ever believed this one. 

Myth 9: Only people who sleep around need STI tests

Sex shaming much? A person who has had unprotected sex ONCE can contract and STI, whether they have slept with 200 other people or two. 

As the study points out, 'many of these potentially harmful myths are the result of unfortunate ignorance about how STIs are actually contracted.' 

Over one quarter of men believed this one, so here's to hoping they have all gotten themselves checked regardless of the number of partners they have had. 

 

Myth 10: You cannot contract and STI from oral

WRONG. Herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, and syphilis can be spread through oral sex. 

There is a reason that sex workers use condoms for oral sex, and it's something we should all be doing if our partner has not had a very recent STI text that came back all clear. 

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To anyone who has yet to watch the gloriousness that is Sex Education, BOY are you missing out right now.

Netflix' latest teen show is beyond hilarious, heartwarming, important, inclusive and damn educational; we thank the gods someone had the genius to create it.

Some of the most memorable scenes in the hit show, watched by millions in its debut week of streaming, are the sex scenes.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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For some of the young cast, these were their premiere roles, so many of us would assume they were embarrassed or awkward while filming the vital and sometimes amusing sexual moments. 

Surprisingly, the cast have spoken about how filming these graphic scenes were actually their favourite, because of the important conversations which ensued because of them.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Aimee Lou Wood, who plays Aimee Gibbs, chatted to POPSUGAR about the laughs the cast had while on set, preparing for the sexy script to be played out.

Her character is in the opening of the first episode, having sex with Adam's character (played brilliantly by Connor Swindells) and asking him, "Do you like my tits?" 

She actually found it easier than she thought to carry out these moments; "I thought the sex scenes would be the scariest days, but they were actually really fun," she explained.

"When you have someone with you, like either Connor, or Chris Jenks ('top-heavy Steve'), they were just such fun days. because it's like quality time with one other person, and you just get to know people so quickly," she described.

"The conversations get really deep because you're just put into this environment where you're exposing yourself so much that the only way you can deal with it is just letting it all go. You make really good friends and you get to know people really well."

Kedar Williams-Stirling, who plays the handsome school jock Jackson, agreed with Aimee; "I think that's what the sex does in the show, isn't it? It kind of opens up the can of worms for other topics, which is great."

He confessed to enjoying working with Emma Mackey, who played the badass 'complex female characters' Maeve Wiley, on their sex scenes.

"I think that those are the scenes where I really got to know my character best in . . . they both kind of show who they really are when it's just those two together."

Mackey cited one of the shows most moving guest stars for completing her favourite scene: Lu Corfield, who played Sarah's character at the abortion clinic.

"She completely transformed my entire world. She's a sensational actor and woman, and I was with her for two days and in the space of that two days I just felt that we had this bond, and she's such a special woman. That was incredible," Emma said.

Alistair Petrie, who plays Mr. Groff, Adam's dad and the school headmaster was another member of the supporting cast who made a monumental impression.

"He's such a great actor. Working with him, you forget that you're working because he's so hilarious, and so talented at everything. He really makes you feel comfortable when you're working with him," said his on-screen son, Conor Swindells.

"Any scene that I ever had to do with him was always a blast."

Asa Butterfield had nothing but rave reviews for his on-screen mother Joan, played by Gillian Anderson. Playing the role of a sex therapist, her son Otis struggles with his own sexual issues, which he must navigate without her.

"I love working with Gillian, I think we had some really nice scenes which are both funny but also incredibly touching."

The show has been praised for its magical ability to combine hilarious moments with deeper issues.

One character who embodied this feat was Eric, played unbelievably well by Ncuti Gatwa. He had us giggling one second and weeping on his behalf the next as he struggles through his difficult relationships as a gay man with his father.

Gatwa's favourite scene to film is one which illuminates Eric's entire journey: The scene where Eric returns to church with his family, after feeling disconnected from his religion and community following a homophobic attack.

"It was just nice to have the whole set, everybody kitted out in their geles and their traditional cloth, and just the storyline of that: Eric being embraced back into his community after he's been 'excommunicated' for a while. That day was so full of joy and light."

The whole cast bring us joy and light, okay? SEX EDUCATION SPARKS JOY.

Season one is available on Netflix now, we're currently huddled in prayer for a season two. Join us.

Feature image: Dans Media Digest

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With the current charged political climate of #MeToo, which is bringing issues of consent, sexual violence, abuse and harassment to light on a daily basis, it's the PERFECT time for a show like Sex Education.

Netflix' new series is already critically acclaimed with it's standout teenage characters, incredible acting talents and refreshing humour, but what's just as important is the need to face sexuality and it's trials and tribulations at a young age.

The show is tackling imperative issues and somehow manages to be laugh-out-loud funny at the same time, how does it achieve this unique, charming quality?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Sex Education follows Otis Milburn, a socially awkward but sweet-natured sixteen-year-old (Asa Butterfield) and his sex therapist mother, played by the amazing Gillian Anderson.

Otis' school life is filled with iconic characters like Eric Effiong (Ncuti Gatwa), the most GAS LGBT+ character of all time, and misunderstood punk and resident badass Maeve Wiley (Emma Mackey).

Middle finger Maeve= our 2019 mood. You heard it here first:

fuck you high school GIF by NETFLIX

After discovering his penchant for giving responsible and understanding sex advice, Maeve 'complex female characters' Wiley encourages Otis to set up his own teen sex clinic for some quick cash, and the results are HILARIOUS.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Among the vital topics faced with beautiful skill are abortion, transphobia, homophobia, mental health, consent, contaception, racism, sexism and toxic masculinity; we're in awe of episode three and the emotional rollercoaster of teenage life, told with humour and care.

Here are the best memes and reactions online to our new favourite binge-worthy show, PRAY FOR SEASON TWO IMMEDIATELY.

1. How pure Eric and Otis' friendship is:

2. Complex LGBT character of colour GOALS

3. If you know, you know *wink*

4. The confusing time setting which seems like a 1980s/1990s/2019 mash-up:

5. Is it USA or UK though?! They have Letterman jackets with British accents?! Help?!

6. It's MY VAGINA: that iconic episode four scene has become a meme…

7. How HAWT Gillian Anderson is in the show as Otis' sex savvy mum:

8. Gillian's LEWKS were 2DIE4:

9. Eric and Adam's weird bully vs hilarious victim sexual tension 

10. Maeve Wiley's distinctive Margot Robbie resemblance is HAUNTing:

11. COMPLEX FEMALE CHARACTERS. Need we say more?

12. The script is spit-out-your-tea levels of hilarity:

13. THAT video of 1980s Gillian Anderson teaching a workshop:

14. How damn WOKE it is:

 15. THE PLUMBER's SCROTE:

16. If anyone harmed Eric the internet would defend him til the death:

17. I repeat: TIL THE DEATH

 18. Lily is top 5 strangest characters ever, but she deserves points for her bravery:

19. Aimee. Just…Aimee. Not to mention disturbingly honest portrayals of female masturbation:

20. We choked at this scene, and arguably the funniest line of the script:

21. Eric and Adam's pinky scene. The feels.

 22. GIVE US SEASON TWO AND NO ONE WILL BE HURT:

We gasped at that ending. Our hearts gave out, from pure weakness.

sex ed wtf GIF by NETFLIX

We're currently tweeting Netflix incessantly until they announce a season two.

MAEVE DESERVES HAPPINESS, OKAY? 

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Research has discovered that ONE IN THREE women have heard the classic excuse of the condom being "too small to use."

We're feelin' pretty smug at this news, but we thought it would be three in three, to be honest…

A study has proven that just FOUR percent of people experienced problems with the condom legitimately not being big enough to use, despite so many women hearing the excuse. LOL.

golden girls condom GIF

Scientists were seeking to dispel the fallacy through their testing of condom sizes with an air compressor, and found that the condoms expanded to well over the average penis size.

The NHS and King's College London have previously said that the average size is 5.16 inches long.

However, engineering firm SGS Engineering maintain that the condoms measured roughly THREE FEET LONG by one foot wide when inflated to full capacity, so it seems a lot of men are telling fibs.

the 40 year old virgin hand GIF

A spokesperson for the engineering company who tested the barrier contraceptive said: “The condom, when inflated, would be approximately the same size as an Alsatian.”

A DOGGO. A REAL-LIFE BIG SIZED DOGGO. Let that sink in for a minute.

Researchers talked to 1,000 people in the UK to discover common attitudes to condom use, and found that only one-third of sexually active 18-24 year olds use condoms, and just 41 percent of sexually active folk across all age ranges use them. Alright then, do you want a baby/STI? Did you not see Mean Girls?

sex ed GIF

70 percent of those who were quizzed said they don't use a condom every time they have sex because they use another contraceptive method, such as the pill (24 percent of y'all are smart), withdrawal method (13 percent of y'all are stupid) and sterilisation (10 percent).

This is next level absurd; one in ten people said they didn't use condoms because of the WEIRD SMELL.

20 percent said the reason was discomfort, while 16 percent said it was because they reduced the pleasurably sensation, and 8 percent said they 'forgot'. Fools.

However, of the 70 percent of people who cited another contraception being used, one third just assumed that this was the case but there wasn't any proof. Mmmkay then. 

Half of people experienced an unplanned pregnancy because they didn't use condoms. See? Sex Ed is IMPORTANT people.

Condoms are up to 98 percent effective at protecting against STIs and unwanted pregnancies, 15 percent of people in the survey said they didn't trust condoms for fear of splitting.

Only three percent if these worries are based on this happening to them previously though.

andy samberg flirting GIF

A spokeswoman for SGS Engineering, Natalie Richardson, commented on the results;

 “The findings were surprising – particularly how anti-condom some men seemed to be, despite them not considering any other contraceptive methods."

“Potentially women are being told the excuse as a way of avoiding condom use because of sensation reasons. However, in most cases the risks far outweigh the benefits of ‘increased sensation’,” she added. Damn right they do.

happy the simpsons GIF

Ian Green of sexual health service organisation Terrence Higgins Trust said that the best way to protect against STIs remains to use condoms;

“There is the right condom out there for everyone. Penises come in a whole range of different shapes and sizes – and condoms do too. For example, if you do find standard condoms too small, then you should try a king size option."

“Last year we saw big jumps in rates of both gonorrhoea and syphilis, which is why more needs to be done to promote condom use, the range of different shapes and sizes available, and the importance of regular testing," he continued.

"This is particularly true among groups most affected by STIs in this country, which includes young people, gay and bisexual men, and people from BAME (black, Asian, and minority ethnic) communities.” 

The Family Planning Association, said regular sized condoms are suitable for most penis shapes and sizes.

Karen O’Sullivan, who has 30 years of experience working in sexual health wrote : “We would advise anyone who knows that regular condoms aren’t suitable for them, for whatever reason, to carry appropriate options with them so they can have safe sex."

Sexual health provider SH:24 said health providers need to move away from the “one size fits all” contraception mentality.

“When patients come into a clinic, they can often assume all condoms are the same size so we also want to see better education around choices and how to use condoms properly,“ they said.

It just goes to show, we need to massively step up when it comes to sexual health education, because myths are still circulating.

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Richard Bruton has ordered a major review of sex education classes in Irish schools.

The Minister for Education believes that every pupil should have access to information about sexual health, relationships and sexuality.

He said, 'This must be delivered in a factual manner in every school. This review will help to inform decisions regarding the content of the curriculum and how it is delivered.”

Relationships and sex education has been a staple part of the curriculum since 1999, however, some of the content in our school’s sex education lessons is over twenty years old.

The review will look at adding important topics that have an impact on today’s students, including social media and consent.

Minister Bruton has asked the National Council on Curriculum and Assessment to look at the following:

  1. Consent: What is it and it's importance
  2. Contraception, as well as developments in the area
  3. Healthy, positive sexual expression and relationships
  4. Safe use of the internet
  5. Social media and its effects on relationships
  6. LGBTQ+ matters

Both primary and secondary school programmes will be altered in the review, but the new curriculum will be age-appropriate.

Lessons in primary schools will focus on relationships, reproduction and the body.

Secondary students will be informed about consent, which is one of the main issues the NCCA are looking at, developments in contraception and LQBTQ+ issues.

Minister Bruton stressed the importance of the review. He hopes the new curriculum will meet the needs of young people today, 'who face a range of different issues to those faced by young people in the late 1990s.'

They will also ensure that teachers are fully equipped to deliver the lessons, 'It is essential for the curriculum to be delivered by teachers who are fully supported and who feel comfortable teaching the curriculum and talking to their students about sexuality and relationships.'

The National Council on Curriculum and Assessment review will focus on issues including consent and internet safety, as well as self-esteem.

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