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sex

Getting bored of the same 'ole carry on in the bedroom? It might be time to step outside of your comfort zone and discover the wonders that lay beyond the boudoir. 

New research claims that having sex in places around the house can help boost relationship satisfaction and overall happiness. 

The team at House Method asked 1,000 people about their favourite places to get down to business. 

Results showed that couples who have sex outside the bedroom boast 10.5 per cent greater relationship satisfaction, while 33 per cent were more satisfied with their sex lives. 

Rather unsurprisingly, the living room proved to be the most popular non-bedroom location for couples to get freaky, closely followed by the bathroom.  

Attics, closets and gardens were the least preferred spots, which is hardly surprising, really. 

What's more, it seems that couple who enjoy sex outside the bedroom actually have more sex in general, averaging at 10.9 times a month, compared to just 5.8 times for bedroom-only couples. 

Of course, depending on your living situation, non-bedroom sex isn't always an option. 

All of the people who participated in the survey lived with their significant other – making it 100 times easier to have sex when and where you want to.   

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We've all been there. You finally land a date with the guy/girl of your dreams, only to realise that the two of you couldn't be less compatible in the bedroom. 

At this stage it's easy to throw in the towel and call it another lost chance, but according to a new study, the first time isn't exactly a great indicator of how good you could be together. 

In a survey of 2,000 Americans, 58 per cent of those in relationships described the first time they slept with their significant other as awkward or terrible. 

The research, conducted by OnePoll and Pure Romance, also found that the majority of us feel anxious when having sex with a new partner, with issues like body confidence and the fear of not pleasing your partner often getting in the way. 

What's more, the study also found that three in ten (33 per cent) people would call it quits with someone if the sex wasn't good the first time round. 

And as for the rest of us, the average person will tolerate four or five bad sexual encounters before breaking things off. 

So, what exactly makes for a bad sexual experience

For men:

  • Not reaching orgasm

  • Lack of foreplay

  • Partner wants man to go down on them but won’t reciprocate

  • Going too fast

  • Erection difficulty after drinking

For women:

  • Lack of foreplay

  • Going too fast

  • Not reaching orgasm

  • Dirty sheets

  • Partner wants woman to go down on them but won’t reciprocate

But all hope is not lost. 71 per cent of those surveyed don't believe that the first time dines the relationship, and agree that figuring out each others likes and dislikes should be a fun and bonding experience. 

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try (and try) again! 

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So, sex is good for a lot of of things – intimacy between partners, conceiving a child, passing the time, y'know yourself.

Sure, this is all well and good, but what if we told you that an active sex life could actually make you smarter?

A new study, published in The Journals of Gerontology, Series B: Psychological and Social Sciences, concluded that, specifically in older people, regular sex is linked to improved brain function.

Lead researcher, Dr Hayley Wright, said, “Sexual relationships in later life are… not just important for sex per se, [they are] impacting on other factors, in this case cognitive function.”

Researchers form the Universities of Oxford and Coventry asked 73 participants, men and woman aged between 50 and 83, about their sexual activity.

37 said they had sex weekly, 26 monthly and 10 never.

The participant's brain function was then assessed and results showed that those who enjoyed more active sex lives, scored on average two per cent higher in some tasks than those who said they had sex monthly and four per cent higher than those who never had sex.

The study concluded that having regular sex had the greatest impact on visual tests and verbal fluency skills, however there was no real difference when it came to performance in memory, language and attentiveness tests.

The authors aren't sure why the link between sexual activity and improved brain functionality exists, but they suspect that it might have something to do with the secretion of neurohormones such as dopamine or oxytocin that transmit signals in the brain.  

Either way, improved brain power is as good an excuse as any. 

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We all know how wrecked you feel after a long day at the office. 

All you want is to take your bra off and get into bed to watch Netflix.

Some people adore their sleep – but what if you love sex too?

Could you give up your snoozing for getting it on? 

A study was carried out by Mattress Advisor, who surveyed people about their sleep and sex habits.

And what did they say?

Single people get more shut-eye and those in relationships have sex nearly three times more per month. 

People were happy to give up 54.3 minutes of sleep to have sex.

And even after an exhausting day, 84 percent of people would give up z's for a night-time romp. 

People in relationships were intimate an average of 8.7 days per month and they had an average of 7.7 hours of sleep per month. 

Single people slept 7.1 hours per night and had sex 6.2 days per month. 

It might seem like only 12 more minutes of sleep, but that adds up to almost an hour and a half of sleep during the week. 

So it seems the better the sex life, the better quality of sleep people get – like we needed an excuse, right?

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When it comes to spending a bit of time between the sheets with our partner of choice, there are usually a few things we're comfortable with. 

Whether that's indulging in a particular kink, or that fool proof I'm-definitely-going-to-come-from-this position, we know what we like. 

However, a recent study found that people avoid particular positions due to personal insecurities. 

When we're not feeling body confident or have performance anxiety, the position of choice can have a lot to do with it. 

Holding Back In Bed by Zava Med polled over 1,000 sexually active people about what made them uncomfortable during sex, and compiled a list of sex positions we're not into. 

Women were most turned off by 69-ing, while men cited standing up sex as their most avoided position. 

69-ing came a close second for men, with one quarter of men avoiding it.

With more than half of men and women feeling insecure about how their genitals look, it makes sense that this position can evoke anxiety for some. 

A further 20% of men bypass the Doggy style position, and the Kneeling wheelbarrow (we had to Google that one) was 19% of guy's performance Achille's heel. 

The results showed that partner-facing positions were avoided twice as often as positions where partners faced away from each other when one party involved felt insecure.

Women mostly avoided Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl and the Kneeling Wheelbarrow after 69-ing. 

While 69-ing was cited as the most uncomfortable position for insecure partners, the study found that 'sexual acts that focus on oral sex like 69 can actually help improve intimacy and communication between partners.'

The more you know…

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Moving in together is a big step.

Yeah, it's exciting and the thoughts of having your own place with the person you're mad about sounds fab but think of it realistically.

All privacy is gone and you no longer even have your own personal space, your own bedroom. 

So what about…separate rooms?

It might not be as horrifying as it sounds as a survey of 2,000 couples suggests that sleeping apart could lead to better quality sex.

The research found that four in ten couples sleep apart most nights, and that of these, 34% claim they have better quality sex and more of it, while 38% say that sleeping apart improved their relationship.

Sounds great to us.

So what were the reasons for not sleeping together? 

They included different sleep cycles, their partner moving around too much in bed, having different shift patterns, and snoring. 

A good night’s sleep can help our sex lives, as it increases sexual desire and pleasure so separate beds might do the trick. 

Now it can reduce opportunities for intimacy – 24% of those who slept separately said they had sex less frequently as a result.

So to ensure sexy time stay near the top of the list, schedule sex or just making time for skin-to-skin contact during the day to replace the late-night spooning.

Mind coach Anna Williamson told Metro, ''If your partner is restless in the night, perhaps they snore or breathe heavily, and as a result, keep you awake or disturb you throughout the night, it can be a good idea to sleep apart from your partner in order to catch up on some much-needed sleep.''

She continued, ''Physical contact is essential in keeping a relationship connected. Touching each other releases feel good, love endorphins, and often being in bed can be the best time of the day to communicate effectively with each other. Pillow talk is a really emotionally positive thing to do and it can help you feel safe and secure as you both hopefully drop off to sleep together.''

So why not try it out and see if it works for you and your partner?

Yo never know, it could be the spark to lit both your fires…

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The sex is comfortable, you know what to expect and you know it's going to be good.

Since the break-up, your feelings have changed for your ex, but there's still probably a lot of love there – if he or she isn't a complete assh*le.

Your friends will shame you for letting them back in to your bed – but the next time they go to tell you off, throw them this little chunk of science.

These two studies claim to bust the myth that if you get freaky in the sheets with your ex, you'll delay your ability to move on.

In fact, they say having sex with your ex, even if you're in a horrible place about the split – isn't bad.

The first study, conducted by researchers at Wayne State University, Western University, and the University of Toronto Mississauga asked 113 newbie singles to fill out an online survey.

The newly dumped people were asked if they hooked up with their ex, how they felt emotionally and how attached they felt towards them at the end of the day.

The researchers then conducted a second study, but this time 372 people were questioned about sex with their exes and if they still held any emotional feelings for the ex.

And surprise, surprise – both studies concluded that contrary to popular belief, sex with an ex doesn't prolong heartache.

Additionally, the number of times you get freaky with your ex-lover doesn't play a role either. 

The results actually found it does the opposite – anyone who felt a strong emotional tie to their ex, sought out sex the most because they were trying to fill a void their ex had left.

BUT doing the dirty made them feel BETTER about the breakup – so honey, have your cake and eat it because this is emotionally risk-free.*

“This research suggests that societal handwringing regarding trying to have sex with an ex may not be warranted,” explained lead author Stephanie Spielmann. 

“The fact that sex with an ex is found to be most eagerly pursued by those having difficulty moving on, suggests that we should perhaps instead more critically evaluate people’s motivations behind pursuing sex with an ex,” she added.

So those late night booty calls are all golden baby – happy ridin'.

*This only works if both parties are single, and non-toxic. And don't forget to use protection.

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Porn is something that people watch, be it when they're single or in a relationship.

And while many admit to using it to satisfy their urges, how damaging is it to people's sex lives? 

Can you watch it without consequences?

This recent survey spoke to more than 1,200 men and women to analyse how porn plays into their sex lives. 

The findings were…surprising, to say the least. 

It seems that 1-in-4 men would rather be having sex with the people they see in porn, and this is compared to just 7% of women.

Shocking or duh?

As well as that, even when lacking arousal for their partner, 37% of women will only watch porn once-a-week; however, 39% of men that share those feelings watch porn every day. 

Worrying figures show that more than half of women have an easier time achieving orgasm while watching porn than they do while having sex –  what is going on guys?!

The ease of access to porn is a cause for concern.

What about couples watching it together – does it help or hinder their action between the sheets? 

Sixty percent said that they do, but a quarter of men said they'd rather have sex with the individuals in the porn they viewed than their real-life partners.

What's strange about it all is that the more men watched porn, the less likely to be turned on by their partners they were and the more frequently women watched porn, the more likely they were to feel aroused by their partners.

It seems that consuming porn is a slippery slope – maybe more of us should give our partners the time and attention they deserve in the bedroom, and leave watching sex on the screen altogether. 

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Most of us think about sex at least once a day, it's a perfectly natural phenomenon that's an integral aspect of our lives.

Of course, it's important to acknowledge that asexuality exists too, and people with low sex drives for whatever reason, medical or not. So if you're not having erotic fantasies, don't fret.

One question is on our minds at this moment in time: How can we know what generation were the biggest fantasy-addicts of them all, though? That's easy: Science.

masturbating sex and the city GIF

A new study has confirmed that modern women spend THREE TIMES as long dreaming about sex than the women of the 1970s.

The sexual revolution of the late 20th century and falling levels of shame around the taboo of sexuality are thought to be behind the latest spicy trend.

Researchers from the University of Freiburg in Germany asked 2,907 participants aged between 16 and 92-years-old about their sexy-time dreams, and the results are fascinating.

sex and the city its dicklicious GIF

Women under 30 years of age claimed that one-fifth of their dreams were erotic, while for men in the same age group it was one-quarter.

A previous survey from 50 years ago discovered that women thought about sex during sleep only one-third as much as modern ladies.

The gap between genders has closed over time, which the journal Psychology & Sexuality puts down to the rise of feminism and an awareness of intersexuality, queer culture and communication.

 

gym jones GIF

The report stated: "One might speculate that younger women in modern society deal with sexuality more openly that older women of previous generations."

An erotic dream is defined as having "sexually motivated" activity, such as flirting and kissing. The scientists from the University of Freiburg in Germany also found that 83.8 percent of two sexes had experienced a wet dream.

Studies which took place back in 1966 and 1998 found less than four percent of women and 12 percent of men confessed to having sex dreams. Maybe they were just being coy? 

samantha jones gif

The research didn't go into the type of sex dreams women were experiencing in the past and present, which would be interesting to dig into.

Dream away gals, it's a healthy part of your lifestyle and is proven to influence the development of your sexual preferences.

You're essentially carrying out important scientific experimentation in your own brain, right?

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Workplace romance is becoming a little vintage, it would seem. Except less fashionable.

the office GIF

Just one-in-10 couples (11 percent) are now finding love in the workplace, according to a new report.  Nearly one-in-five romances in 1990 were forged at work, in comparison. Back in the day, things were clearly done differently.

They were also times when people stayed at the same job their entire lives though, and most likely met less people, seeing as travel options were less extensive. If you are struggling to find love or need advice on your current relationship, consider seeking guidance from Nebula. Nebula offers a platform for individuals to receive psychic love readings and relationship advice from experienced and trusted psychics. With Nebula, you can gain insight into your love life and improve your chances of finding happiness and fulfillment in your relationships.

The research was published in the latest ‘How Couples Meet and Stay Together Study’ from Stanford University.

Nichi Hodgson, author of The Curious History of Dating: From Jane Austen to Tinder, in an interview with Yahoo UK claims that striking up a relationship with a colleague is now “less sociably acceptable”.

Despite the fact that we’re spending longer hours in the workplace, we are now more cautious than ever about a co-worker relationship turning into something romantic, according to Hodgson, due to the #MeToo movement.

The movement aims to tackle workplace sexual harassment and assault, and has been building since Tarana Burke started it back in 2006. It caught fire in 2017 after the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke.

 

Nichi Hodgeson claims that “workplace relationships need to be conducted very carefully to ensure there’s no breach of company behavioural guidelines.” I mean, it ain’t that hard not to be a creep.

Hodgson also argues that we shouldn’t necessarily be disappointed by the end of the workplace romance:

“They don’t necessarily show you someone’s true colours – you won’t see how tender or angry someone can be at work, for example, because the majority of people are on their best behaviour,” she says.

“Just because they’re a good team player at work doesn’t mean they necessarily will be in a relationship.”

season 2 flirting GIF by Blunt Talk

Online dating and apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OK Cupid are now taking the lead in bringing people together, with almost one-in-four (39 percent) of heterosexual couples meeting through those platforms.

This is an increase since 2009, when the stats showed 22 percent of hetero couples meeting online, according to the Stanford University findings.

Meeting through friends is still a popular means of finding your future partner, but it’s much less common than it was in the past. Over a third (34 percent) of people met this way in 1990, but it’s now just one in five (20 percent)

“Dating apps may have only been around for a decade but they have a radical hold on our affections when it comes to meeting a partner, mainly because they are so convenient in our ever time-pressed lives,” Hodgson says.

the boss kiss GIF by Kim's Convenience

“They’re not necessarily leading to better connections though for multiple reasons – they create a paradox of choice, giving us too many people to choose between when social scientists tell us we get cognitive overload somewhere between five and nine options,” she continues.

“Dating apps are encouraging us to be ruder with behaviours,” Hodgson adds, which is due to a “lack of accountability needed from users”. Overall, Hodgson believes that dating apps can still lead to a stable, long-term match.

“When we do finally choose a serious partner from a dating app, we are likely to stick with them – we are taking longer to settle on someone but that is producing more stable long-term matches when we finally commit.”

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If you've ever got freaky in the sheets and accidentally took an elbow to the eye – don't fear, you're not alone.

Though it can absolutely murder the mood and you're left completely mortified, amorous accidents and mishaps are more common than you think. 

So you can stop blushing as 99 percent of participates in a recent Superdrug Online Doctor survey said during sexy sessions, they've experienced some sort of misery in this department.

It may not surprise you that the most common form of misfortune was bumping heads with one's partner – I'll go get the ice.

Out of the 800 people quizzed, 45 percent of men and women said they've taken a tumble out of the bed mid-session – although this could be down to overenthusiasm – take it easy lads. 

Onto some of the weird and wonderful ones, almost 12 percent of women and 8 percent of men accidentally vomited during sex – delightful.

Whilst 13 percents of both sexes reported wetting themselves when getting it on – if this does happen, make sure your mum isn't the one washing the sheets.

via GIPHY

Although it can end in tears or laughter – it seems we aren't too proud of ourselves when it comes to coughing up the truth to our doc.

The survey found that we will lie and create all kinds of tales to avoid telling the doctor that we injured ourselves getting the ride.

But how are we sustaining these accidents? Turns out we are uncoordinated messes – well almost half of us are.

Almost half of women who were surveyed said it was down to their lack of coordination, while 35.5 percent of men blamed the same problem. 

Lack of flexibility came in as second, with a quarter of women saying it was a reason for really awkward sex – so stop trying to push our legs over our head, thanks. 

For men, nearly 20 percent of them said lack of stamina and endurance was the culprit for the cricket silence. 

So do we learn from our mistakes and does awkward sex make us more cautious for future lovemaking marathons? – Yes, my friends, they do. 

29 percent said they avoided 69 standing up position like the plague after a previous failed attempt.

Others were less athletic, but they all shared something in common – penetration from behind.

Doggy style, reverse cowgirl, and the kneeling wheelbarrow each made the top five on the list of banished positions. 

Moving to those sexy locations, while it seems steamy in the movies, if you've ever attempted this in the real world – you know the results are far from the Hollywood glam.

Cue the awkward moments, positions and generally just being uncomfortable AF. 

So it comes as no surprise that 27 percent who got their wings in the mile-high club said they wouldn't repeat the experience – have you seen the size of those loos? Just no.

No one wants to see their neighbours going at it – no matter how hot you think you are and a quarter of people thankfully said they wouldn't get it on in a public patio or back garden again. 

Additionally, cemeteries made the list of awkward locations to avoid, as well as the ocean and the shower.

We don't have a solution to eliminate those "I wish the ground would open and swallow me whole" situations.

But I hope you can relate to these saucy encounters to realise that awkwardness is all apart of life – including sex. 

Let's hope the next time you can get laugh it off and get back at it.

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When you think about it, four out of the six characters on Friends, who all pretty much co-habited with each other, also slept together.

So it doesn't come as much of a surprise that women would get hot and heavy with their opposite-sex flatmates.

According to a study,  most people would rather live with members of the opposite sex – a whopping 68% of men and 63% of women. 

We wonder why.

When it comes to going through a dry spell, the study showed that 74% of men vs. 57% of women aren’t opposed to pursuing a romantic relationship with their flatmate. 

Looks like people aren't so mad about living alone.

It seems that fancying the people that you're living with is also common 74% of men and 57% of women thinking that their roommate is a ride. 

Also, 1 in 3 people have had a sexual encounter with their roommate. 

Have you?

Or have you ever been tempted?

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