HomeTagsPosts tagged with "dating"

dating

Look, it's not a pleasant situation for anyone.

You're single for like a million years, then you happened to magically stumble upon someone who –  at first – seems to tick every box.

Plus he's so pleasant to look at that it hurts and basically you can't believe your luck.

''It's finally happened,'' you proudly tell the gals over G&T's. ''He seems to good to be true, tbh.''

And bam! there's your first clue – if it seems to good to be true, it usually is. 

I've had three relationships in my 24 years, plus a few shorter dalliances and I genuinely never bought the whole excusing-someone's-trash-behaviour-because-you-fancy-the-arse-off-them thing. 

Or maybe I've been lucky to have never gotten tangled up with a narcissist before…whatever. 

But, oh boy, it happens. 

Doesn't the quote go like- "people tell you who they are in the beginning, you just choose not to listen.''

But if you want to avoid heartbreak a few weeks/months down the line, then listen up: if you see more than one of these red flags listed below – run. 

They're non-negotiable, just like your self-respect.

1.  He shows signs of controlling behaviour.

You'll probably read that and say ''omg, obvs! I wouldn't put up with that, no way'', but it can be extremely subtle.

And if they're seasoned at it, it can happen almost without you noticing the first few times – or worse, noticing it and letting it slide.

Warning phrases can be anything to telling you he doesn't like you wearing your hair a certain way/a lot of make-up to ordering for you in restaurants and putting you down in the the pub in front of your mates. 

Don't fall into questioning your self-worth. 

2. He's mean with money 

If he's tight with money, he will be mean in other ways – with his time, his affection, his words.

It just shows bad character and you don't need to voluntarily associate yourself with someone like that. 

3. His actions don't match his words 

Who doesn't love to be told they look fab?

The problem here is when the person you're dating is saying all the right things but in the next breath he's giving you unprompted stories about his ex/past sex life or ogling another person in the bar.

The word for this is: fake. 

 

4. He passes comments on other women/people in general 

I mean, I'm laughing as I type this, this should be a shut-and-close-case of ''he's a sh*thead, what are you doing with him?'' BUT, here me out.

It's early, early days with someone and he says something rude and you're shocked and you pull them up on it, fine, ok. It's when the actions become repeated and they become the norm.

My advice then? He's not a good person, and not worth your precious time. 

5. Something just feels ''off''

This is the worst one. Because it's not tangible.

If you're battling paranoia in the beginning, it won't probably won't get better.

Your gut can tell when something's not right. We might ignore the uneasy feeling in our stomachs, but it's there for a reason. 

Basically, if you're holding back a bit, it's more than likely because you've picked up on energy that he's giving out  – that's what you ''can't put your finger on.''  

Look, you know if someone is genuinely good for you or not. 

I read this the other day and it struck a chord with me; ''No amount of physical attraction or good sex is worth clinging to someone who does not make you feel at peace with yourself.'' 

And to that we say hear, f*cking hear. 

Trending

We've all been there.

You're in a new job, doing your thing, when the hottie from finance walks by and leaves you a red-faced, spluttering mess. 

Workplace crushes are completely natural, and what's more, they could even be good for your health and well-being. 

Well, that's according to Jason Hughes, Founder of Leicester Centre for Psychodynamic anyway.

Speaking to Stylist, Jason explained how the butterfly feeling could actually help us feel better about ourselves. 

“We all want to feel good, crushes are our imaginative and creative way of identifying those things we prize in others, which we struggle to see in ourselves.”

He continued, “Crushes help us to feel alive, help us to feel, and help us to imagine – this is especially important when we might feel that we are trapped in a routine, stuck in a job or relationship where there is little new and vibrant.''

“Don’t ignore them, but pay careful attention to them and what they might be saying about you…”

And if you think your crushing days are behind you, think again. Those lustful feelings can reveal themselves when you least expect it, even in adulthood.

See, crushes stem from the same part of the brain believed to be responsible for drug addiction.

Imagine how many workplace romances we're missing out on while we work from home. It's quite tragic really…

Trending

Sometimes all you want to do is binge-watch Stranger Things and eat pizza with your beau. We can often feel guilty for not doing enough, but it turns out that being boring is really good for your relationship.

According to author Mark Manson relationships should “be as boring as possible.”

He told Business Insider, “That sounds really weird to people but if you think about it, a really happy 80-year-old couple that’s been together for 60 years, the reason that they’ve been together for 60 years, it isn’t because they took all these private jets and they had these crazy vacations and “Oh my God, look at their pictures.”

“It’s because they were able to be boring together.”

Apparently, the happiest couples aren’t the ones who jet off to New Zealand or South Africa at the drop of a hat.

The happiest couples are the ones who enjoy simple, quiet lifestyles. 

Mark explained: “A lot of people…don’t want to be a boring person, like we really want to be interesting people and have interesting lives but the problem is that, that conflicts with what makes a relationship good in a lot of cases.”

Fascinating! 

Trending

When it comes to online dating, first impressions are everything.

You may have chosen your most flattering photos and crafted a suitably witty bio, but all that effort could be in vain if you're not wearing the right clothers, a new study has shown. 

Research conducted by Hater, a dating app that matches users based on their mutual dislikes, has found some of the most common deal breakers for women looking to match with men.

According to Mashable, the team looked at data from its 400,000 users and divided the men into two categories – those who were swiped right on the most, and those who were swiped right on the least.

After the profiles were analysed, the team discovered that women were hugely turned off by men who wore cargo shorts (those Khaki things with the pockets your dad use to wear on holidays) or expressed an interest in Pokemon Go or Windows computers.

On the other end of the scale, it seems men are deemed more attractive if the dress in 'preppy' clothes, eat superfoods and drink PBR (an Instagram-friendly American larger loved by hipsters).

So basically, women are looking for the stereotypical jock from ever American high school movie ever made, but given that the study was conducted on a relatively small scale, we're going to take these findings with a pinch of salt.

After all, one woman's trash is another woman's treasure.

Trending

Most of us think about sex at least once a day, it's a perfectly natural phenomenon that's an integral aspect of our lives.

Of course, it's important to acknowledge that asexuality exists too, and people with low sex drives for whatever reason, medical or not. So if you're not having erotic fantasies, don't fret.

One question is on our minds at this moment in time: How can we know what generation were the biggest fantasy-addicts of them all, though? That's easy: Science.

masturbating sex and the city GIF

A new study has confirmed that modern women spend THREE TIMES as long dreaming about sex than the women of the 1970s.

The sexual revolution of the late 20th century and falling levels of shame around the taboo of sexuality are thought to be behind the latest spicy trend.

Researchers from the University of Freiburg in Germany asked 2,907 participants aged between 16 and 92-years-old about their sexy-time dreams, and the results are fascinating.

sex and the city its dicklicious GIF

Women under 30 years of age claimed that one-fifth of their dreams were erotic, while for men in the same age group it was one-quarter.

A previous survey from 50 years ago discovered that women thought about sex during sleep only one-third as much as modern ladies.

The gap between genders has closed over time, which the journal Psychology & Sexuality puts down to the rise of feminism and an awareness of intersexuality, queer culture and communication.

 

gym jones GIF

The report stated: "One might speculate that younger women in modern society deal with sexuality more openly that older women of previous generations."

An erotic dream is defined as having "sexually motivated" activity, such as flirting and kissing. The scientists from the University of Freiburg in Germany also found that 83.8 percent of two sexes had experienced a wet dream.

Studies which took place back in 1966 and 1998 found less than four percent of women and 12 percent of men confessed to having sex dreams. Maybe they were just being coy? 

samantha jones gif

The research didn't go into the type of sex dreams women were experiencing in the past and present, which would be interesting to dig into.

Dream away gals, it's a healthy part of your lifestyle and is proven to influence the development of your sexual preferences.

You're essentially carrying out important scientific experimentation in your own brain, right?

Trending

As if the world of modern dating wasn't complicated enough, it seems our potential suitors have come up with a new way to express their disinterest – and no, it's not being open and honest (shocker).

Ghosting, gatsbying, stashing – the list goes on. 

And now, let us introduce the newest trend on the dating scene, 'submarining'.

According to Metro.co.uk, the new phenomenon is a close relative of zombieing – the act of going AWOL on a potential love interest only to return months later with a rather pathetic 'Hey, sorry it's been a while. How've you been?' message.

Of course, their lackluster excuse is not worth a response, but hey, at least you got an apology.

A submarine victim would never be so lucky.

After months of zero contact, said submarining will once again slide into your DMs without ever acknowledging their extended absence.

No 'I've been really busy with work', no 'I've had a lot on my plate these past few months,' in fact, they'll have no shame whatsoever.

Not only is it pretty presumptuous of them to expect you're still interested after all this time, but above all else, it's just plain rude.

And while it might be tempting to let the past go, we'd recommend you do quite the opposite. If you don't, you risk setting yourself up for another let down, and let's face it, calling someone out on their BS can be pretty cathartic. 

Trending

Ah, the world of romance is interesting, especially in your early twenties. 

The motley crew of guys that you cross paths with during these years are an interesting bunch.

And, believe it or not, you learn something from every one of them – even when you think that you didn't. 

So, let's dive in and see what the f*ck we were thinking…

1. The Friend

Okay, let's just get this one out of the way first.

While some people escape their early twenties without having fallen foul to this, then fair play to you.

However, a hell of a lot of us do end up sleeping with a mate because, tbh, you spend a lot of time with them and you guys are MATES i.e have chosen to voluntarily spend time with each other. 

And if they look like Nick from New Girl, then you, my friend, are a goner. 

2. The Ex

This is a risky little one here now.

You finally decide to split up after weeks of shittiness only to end up having sex when you go over to his to get your stuff?

What are you, stupid?

Well, yeah, yeah you are…that's all there really is to this one. 

3. The Hot Bartender 

Even if you haven't got it on with the hot guy throwing cocktails shakers in the air behind the bar, don't EVEN act like you've never wanted to/thought about it. 

I think there's deffo some law somewhere that says that all barmen are immediately hot because they are barmen.

They're usually either shit craic or cheating on their gf's, so I personally wouldn't bother…but you will anyway. 

4. The Please-Can-I-Erase-That-From-My-Mind One

It doesn't have to necessarily be someone you really don't fancy to slot into this category. 

Maybe he was a co-worker and now you've to sit across from him in the Monday morning meeting or he could be a pal of your ex or something.

Best thing – deal with it like a grown up by ignoring it…should work. 

5. The Exotic One

It might happen on hols in a dodgy Portuguese bar, or it could be a Tinder date with a fab Frenchman or you could be backpacking around the world and stumble into the most gorge person from who knows where and fall madly in lust. 

Whatever way you do meet this exotic creature, it'll be memorable because culture-clashing is a real thing. 

And who gives a sh*t if you can't understand a word they're saying when they look so…tanned?

6. The F*ckboy

C'mon – who hasn't crossed over to the Dark Side?

That Side is usually occupied by a guy with a man-bun and a massive ego but we, for some reason, swoon like eejits.

Look, just think of it as a rite of passage and try not to feel too guilty about it. 

7. The ''Ick'' One

Made famous by Olivia Attwood on Love Island, the ''ick'' happens – without warning or reason – in the early stages of seeing someone.

The guy that you thought was cute mere days before has suddenly in your eyes morphed into the most unappealing person EVER and your skin crawls at the thought of being near them.

Harsh, but true. And you will forever associate the ''ick'' with them – soz guys. 

Of course, mixed in there are some amazing guys, fab flings and brilliant boyfriends – so enjoy every minute of it!

Trending

Online dating is tricky business. 

Between picking the perfect profiler and composing a witty bio, portraying the best version of ourselves can be tough.

But, all that hard work could be in vain if your bio contains these certain words. 

A new study by dating website Illicit Encounters, has revealed the words deemed to be the biggest turnoffs in the world of online dating – and they're not what you'd expect. 

According to Mail Online, researchers looked at data from over 400,000 dating profiles and found that singles who describe themselves as ''happy'' or ''shy'' are apparently the least likely to find a match.

On the other end of the spectrum, profiles that included words like ''confident'' amd ''honest'' proved the most successful.

Phrases such as, ''humorous'', ''intelligent'', ''romance'' and ''affectionate'' also rated highly. 

A separate study conducted by the University of Iowa looked at how details included in a dating profile could affect that persons chance at finding love. 

Results showed that users who bragged about their appearance and lifestyle were deemed significantly less attractive by potential matches. 

Speaking to Mail Online, Christian Grant, head Illicit Encounters, had this to say about the findings: ''With so much competition, the world of online dating is all about fine margins; anything that's even slightly off-putting marks you as a liability.''

''Many people struggle to strike the balance between confidence and arrogance, instead adopting an overly modest approach, but that rarely works. Who wants to go out with someone who describes themselves as shy and introverted? Nobody, that's who.''

''It's no surprise to see that both men and women are looking for someone whose honest and confident.''

Trending

We've all been casually swiping left on a loop until a gorgeous Golden Retriever stops us in our tracks.

Be it a golden-furred Labrador beauty, a tiny terrier puppy with baby paws or a King Charles; dogs melt our hearts and urge us to swipe right.

Many of us believe that inserting dog photos into our dating profiles will garner us more dating app matches, but now a representative from OkCupid may just have confirmed this.

Elite Daily spoke to Michael Kaye, Global Communications Manager at OkCupid, and according to him, adding pictures of dogs in your dating app profile is proven to make it more successful when it comes to matches;

"We actually have millions of dog mentions in OkCupid profiles," Kaye says.

"Users with dog mentions have a higher probability of initial conversation over those with cat mentions. They also have a higher reply rate."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by  (@citruslucy) on

OkCupid also discovered that a love of dogs is something most people agree on; 

"We found that 81 percent of men and 80 percent of women on OkCupid like dogs," Kaye continues. "Additionally, 84 percent of women and 80 percent of men either own a dog or would love to."

Kaye also claims that has been a 422 percent increase in dog mentions on OkCupid profiles since 2017. Everyone must be catching on to the trend…

Gabrielle Aboodi, the Senior Account Executive for Tinder, also told Elite Daily that dating app users are in love with doggos.

"Users typically respond to photos that include animals or travelling shots," she says, adding that roughly 10 percent of both men and women include dogs in their photos.

UK-based pet food company Webbox carried out a two-week social experiment called Pet Wingman, where they tried to find out whether including your dog in your Tinder or Bumble profile boosted your chances of finding a match, and the results were positive.

Women saw an increase of 69 percent more matches when they included a dog in one or more of their pictures, while men saw an increase of 38 percent more matches.

For Tinder, women received 117 percent more matches, 150 percent more messages, 100 percent more super likes, and 122 percent more total interactions.

Men on Tinder received 30 percent more matches, 75 percent more messages, 200 percent more super likes, and 53 percent more total interactions.

Dog photos lead to just as much success on Bumble as they did on Tinder for male users of the app.

For Bumble, women received 22 percent more matches, 100 percent more super likes, and 30 percent more total interactions, while men on Bumble received 45 percent more matches, 40 percent more messages, and 39 percent more total interactions.

"Bumble users often include photos of their pets on their profiles, but they can also use Bumble filters and badges to specially match with people that are also dog lovers," Bumble's Global PR Coordinator Sang Lee commented.

"In fact, our data shows that our pet badge is one of the most popular badges alongside our star sign badge."

There you have it, single ladies and gents. Ruffly the entire population loves woofers, so kickstart that photoshoot and add some swipe right-worthy paw pics to your profile.

You'd be barking mad not to (sorry…).

Trending

Christmas is here again, along with it comes the mince pies, the re-runs of ‘Love Actually’, and the question that all single women hate having to deal with:

‘So why are you still single?’

Haley Quinn, dating coach, knows 2020 might have been a bit of a wipe out for your love life (thanks Covid!)and you may be dreading returning home for your annual Christmas questioning about when you’re going to finally meet someone.

Whether you love being single, or are longing to hang up your single status, I want to give you 3 confident boosting ways you can handle this tricky seasonal question.

Why do people ask why you’re still single?

I get it: if you’ve been running an assault course of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and socially distanced dating, any question that implies you’re not trying hard enough to meet someone is aggravating. 

Remember though, when people default to this piece of small talk, they rarely mean it unkindly.

It could be that your Great Aunt doesn’t get that grilling you about that guy you ended it with 6 months ago shines an awkward light on your singleness, and well-meaning relatives may even be trying to pay you a compliment. I think every single woman has heard the old, ‘there must be guys queueing up to date you!’ a few times.

So, if someone’s put their foot in it, take a deep breath and remember, you’re better than this!

Your confidence boosting mindset

If you’re struggling with being single, and are feeling demotivated about meeting someone, the last thing you want to do is to dissect the reasons behind it! This is exactly why you need to get into a confident mindset around being single, especially if you’re flying solo through the holidays.

Once you feel 100% certain that being single is actually a great thing for you, this will mean you will be able to answer this tricky question confidently: that’s sometimes a lot easier said than done though!

To help you to get into the right mindset around being single, try using a daily affirmation. One affirmation you can use is; “Being single is my choice.”

You may feel like all the good guys have run out of stock (a bit like that Heston Blumenthal Christmas pudding) but the reality is you could find a relationship tomorrow: but that’s not good enough for you.  You want to choose to be in a relationship with someone who is a major value add to your life. Someone you’re excited to be with, not just anyone; and this is the real reason why you’re still single.

Holding out for a special connection, and not feeling the need to be in a relationship just so you’re not alone, is not only healthy, but says a lot about your self-esteem. It can be hard to always feel like this but remember, being single is always better than being trapped in the wrong relationship. Or as my grandmother always put it, “better to be left on the shelf, than locked in the wrong cupboard…”

Your confident answer to, ‘Why are you still single?’

First things first, you’re single by choice, so you don’t need to justify yourself. Whilst it can be funny to relay your biggest dating disasters from 2020, this may not help you to feel empowered about your singleness. Save the stories for a catch up with your girlfriends, and instead focus on responding confidently.

When someone asks you this question, speak up and maintain good eye contact: you will come across as a woman who is firmly in control of her own life and actions.

Avoid apologising with self-deprecating statements like, ‘I don’t know, I must be doing something to put them off!’ and start owning your singleness instead, with statements like ‘I guess no one’s impressed me enough just yet…’

If you don’t feel like relaying your recent dates to your family, this is one subject where it is okay to be aloof. Being vague can also save you having to justify yourself; so skip the details, and instead try saying, ‘Well I guess that part of my story is still being written…’

Also don’t shy away from changing topics and redirecting the conversation. Your family may not have realised that women have other things to do with their time than meet a partner! You could say, ‘Not so much on the man front, but I’ve had a lot going on, on the work front, it’s quite exciting actually….’ to give them a hint to ask you about something you’re excited to talk about.

Your dating game plan for 2021

If you ignore something you know you must do, whether it’s dishes in the sink, or a work deadline, it will feel stressful. The second you start getting a game plan together to tackle a problem within your life, it’s going to feel better. If you’re determined this is your last single Christmas, then there couldn’t be a better time to get a game plan together for 2021!

Recent research from Match.com suggests that the busiest day for online dating next year is coming up on January 3rd! So in between the sprouts and the Bailey’s, now is a great time to give your online dating profile a spring clean and get back out there.

If the thought of dating right now makes you sigh, then this is a signal to you that you need to approach dating differently, rather than give up altogether!

Getting into a happy relationship is a marathon, not a sprint, so it’s more important that you feel good along the journey, than reach the destination early. For you that could mean refocusing on meeting him in real life, taking a break from dating to focus on another project, or finally getting over that pesky ex.

What’s most important is that you date in a way that maintains your motivation levels and your self-esteem.

So don’t worry about showing up for Christmas dinner without a new partner; instead focus on spending every day next year feeling good about yourself, regardless of your relationship status.

 

Article by Haley Quinn; Hayley Quinn is a dating coach distinguished public speaker and lecturer who has appeared on TV and radio shows across the UK, USA and beyond, providing lively debate and content on love and dating. Hayley’s candid, sassy, humourous Ted X talk about love and identity has been viewed 2 million times. The popularity of her talk is a testament to her open and engaging speaking style. As well as relationships and dating, her talks cover a wide range of topics including entrepreneurialism, communication and self-confidence. She’s appeared on shows ranging from BBC News, to Celebs Go Dating, to The Apprentice and is a safe pair of hands for live TV and broadcast.

Check out Haley's website www.hayleyquinn.com!

Trending

Having trouble on the dating front? You might want to think about making a career move.

Popular dating app, Happn, have analysed data from their 1.7 million users to find out what career paths are most likely to lead you to the guy or gal of your dreams.

The research found that users were more likely to be attracted to a woman who worked in marketing, as a nurse, or designer.

For the guys, doctors, engineers, investment analysts, bankers and teachers were deemed the most desirable jobs.

Although some of the most popular answer differed for men and women, both genders agreed on one thing – lawyers are hot AF. 

Yep, both male and female singletons said they found lawyer to be the most attractive career. 

So, what makes lawyers so attractive?

Is it their Intelligence? Their charm?

Nah, we're guessing it's probably the suits to be honest.  

Trending

ITV 2 is bringing us yet another dating show, which is sure to be our new addiction. Fans of Love Island are going to fall in love with this winter themed, old-school dating experience, called The Cabins

The cast of hopeful singletons will delete their trusty (or maybe not so trusty) dating apps, in order to make real life connections, face-to-face.

Couples will be forced to move in together as soon as they meet, staying in romantic log cabins, located amongst beautiful British surroundings, where they’ll stay for 24 hours. Once left alone, they’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other, and have some deep and meaningful conversations. 

Whether they’re enjoying a cosy dip in the cabin’s bubbling hot tub, or snuggled up in front of a blazing fire, these singles are going to reveal more about themselves on a first date then they ever thought they would. After their 24 hours together, the two will have to decide if they want to see each other again or call it quits. Did sparks fly or was it just a little uncomfortable? We can’t wait to find out more.

ITV's Head of Digital Channels and Acquisitions, Paul Mortimer said, “This is a fantastic new format which challenges young people to delete the apps and attempt to date face-to-face, with no distractions. We're thrilled to be bringing this show to ITV2 viewers who will have front row seats, eavesdropping on our couples as they attempt to find true love.”

Are you unlucky in love? Then don’t worry, applications for The Cabins are still open — all you have to do is email casting@12yard.com

Trending
Well hello there!
Help us help you by allowing us and our partners to remember your device in cookies to serve you personalized content and ads.

We're on a mission to help our mums and their families thrive by informing, connecting and entertaining.

Join us in our mission by consenting to the use of cookies and IP address recognition by us and our partners to serve you content (including ads) best suited to your interests, both here and around the web.

We promise never to share any other information that may be deemed personal unless you explicitly tell us it's ok.

If you want more info, see our privacy policy.