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dating

We've all been there.

You're in a new job, doing your thing, when the hottie from finance walks by and leaves you a red-faced, spluttering mess. 

Workplace crushes are completely natural, and what's more, they good even be good for your health and well-being. 

Well, that's according to Jason Hughes, Founder of Leicester Centre for Psychodynamic anyway.

Speaking to Stylist, Jason explained how the butterfly feeling could actually help us feel better about ourselves. 

“We all want to feel good, crushes are our imaginative and creative way of identifying those things we prize in others, which we struggle to see in ourselves.”

He continued, “Crushes help us to feel alive, help us to feel, and help us to imagine – this is especially important when we might feel that we are trapped in a routine, stuck in a job or relationship where there is little new and vibrant.''

“Don’t ignore them, but pay careful attention to them and what they might be saying about you…”

And if you think your crushing days are behind you, think again. Those lustful feelings can reveal themselves when you least expect it, even in adulthood.

See, crushes stem from the same part of the brain believed to be responsible for drug addiction.

We really are simple creatures. 

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First dates are always awkward, it’s just a given. Nothing makes us cringe like having a minor tiff with our date about how we should pay the bill. Should you split it? Do I look like a cheapskate if I let him pay? Does this place even accept cash?

It’s a dilemma many of us have faced but one restaurant is here to save the day.

A restaurant in Edinburgh has created a ‘split bill’ policy for first dates and it is the most genius idea.

So, how does it work?

According to The Independent, all you need to do is tell Blackwood’s Bar and Grill that you’d like to opt for the ‘split bill’ option when you’re making your reservation. It’s as simple as that.

When you’re finished with your meal, the waiter will then bring two separate bills to your table.

Dating can be a right mare at times but this policy makes it that little bit easier.

And if you're still dreading that first date then fear not.

We can’t help but feel like a nervous wreck on a first date, but a study analyzed the first date habits of men and you’ll be surprised by the results.

Of those who were surveyed, two-thirds of men are actually thinking about commitment on a first date.

Yep, and what's more, 27 percent of guys have already made their minds up about kids before they even go on a date with you.

Between this and Blackwood’s Bar and Grill’s ‘split bill’ policy we aren’t feeling so bad about getting back in the dating game after all.

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There are many things we’d like to forget about our teenage years; the emo phase, the streaky tan, the concealer covered lips, the cringey duck face poses and most of all- your first crush.

Whether it was the boy who lived down the street or Disney’s ‘It Boy’ of the time Zac Efron, we all had our fair share of playground and popstar crushes.

There are many we’d like to forget, especially ones whose names will forever be scribbled in the back of our geography copies.

We develop crushes from quite a young age, the average being aged 12, but we can’t help but wonder why we feel this way.

What causes the butterflies in our stomachs, the glint in our eye when we spot them in town, the feeling of frustration when we don’t hear from them and that elation when we do?

We spoke to psychologist Rachel Tomlinson about catching feels, feeling smitten and the impact it all has on our mind.

First things first, why on earth do we fall for people? We all understand just how complicated and stressful dating and relationships can be, so why does our mind crave affection like there’s no tomorrow?

“We have these feelings because humans are social creatures and we are driven to try and form relationships with other people.

“We want relationships and crave them. These relationships keep us safe, both mentally and physically and having reciprocal and positive relationships is good for our health and stress levels,” Rachel explained.

We all want to find the Harry to our Meghan, the Miley to our Liam and the Beyoncé to our Jay-Z, but it isn’t as straightforward as we wish it was.

We fret about what to wear for that first date, we panic about coming across as too eager or whether we are making a good impression.

We beat ourselves up when they don’t respond to us, we worry about winning them over or if they’re ‘the one’.

The impact it has on our mind is pretty intense at times. 

“Having strong, mutually beneficial relationships (including romantic ones) make us feel good and give us a sense of social connection which is healthy. However, issues can arise when relationships end or crushes aren’t reciprocated.

“If people have recently become single or are experiencing overwhelming feelings of love and lust that aren’t returned it can result in stress, lowered immunity, poor physical and potentially exacerbate mental health issues,” she stressed.

We all want a significant other, crush or lover to feel the same as we do. We crave that attention, love and desire like a cup of coffee at 6 am on a Monday morning.

“Your brain responds to this attraction by signalling the release of chemicals: dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. These are feel-good chemicals and people can experience excitement, excess physical energy (including heart racing, sweaty palms etc) and giddy/joyful feelings,” Rachel continued.

Testosterone and oestrogen are also released and we feel lust.

This combination of chemicals gives us a rush like no other, but they can become addictive. “People often find that they crave the presence of their crush to get more of those feelings, resulting in (sometimes) quite obsessive thought patterns. Having a crush can feel as though your brain and body have been hijacked by this new love (or lust).”

It’s a natural feeling that has been built into our minds for generations and generations. Your 85-year-old granny once got butterflies at a dance in the 1950s. Your mam definitely swooned over Rob Lowe during the 1980s. Your big brother definitely shed secret tears when his childhood crush went to the debs with his best friend. Your co-worker certainly worries about what to wear on that all too important first date. The guy sitting next to you on the bus no doubt gets butterflies when bumping into his college love after years apart.

It’s a feeling we’re all going to have to get used to because as Emily Dickinson once said ‘the heart want what it wants or else it does not care.'

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As if the world of modern dating wasn't complicated enough, it seems our potential suitors have come up with a new express their disinterest – and no, it's not being open and honest (shocker).

Ghosting, gatsbying, stashing – the list goes on. 

And now, let us introduce another trend on the dating scene, 'submarining'.

According to Metro.co.uk, the new phenomenon is a close relative of zombieing – the act of going AWOL on a potential love interest only to return months later with a rather pathetic 'Hey, sorry it's been a while. How've you been?' message.

Of course, their lacklustre excuse is not worth an response, but hey, at least you got an apology.

A submarine victim would never be so lucky.

After months of zero contact, your former flame will once again slide into your DMs without ever acknowledging their extended absence.

No 'I've been really bust with work', no 'I've had a lot on plate these past few months,' in fact, they'll have no shame whatsoever.

Not only is it pretty presumptuous of them to expect you're still interested after all this time, but above all else, it's just plain rude.

And while it might be tempting to let the past go, we'd recommend you do quite the opposite. If you don't, you risk setting yourself up for another let down, and let's face it, calling someone out on their BS can be pretty cathartic. 

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Have you ever been the one before the one?

Five dates in and everything seems to be going well, until the relationship is abruptly ended by the other person who 'isn't ready for a commitment', before announcing that they're getting engaged six months later.

This phenomenon is known as 'hyping', and it's actually more common than you might think.

So, what is it?

Well, it's when the person you're seeing gets a quick ego boost and moral support from your short and sweet relationship, thus allowing them to give more of themselves to someone new.

The concept can be likened to the support act at a concert.

Sure they can be enjoyable, but at the end of the day, their main job is to hype the crowd for the main event – All of the work, none of the glory.

What's more, the person who gets left behind will often be in need of a little ego boost of their own and thus the cycle continues.

Dr Victoria Galbraith, Psychologist, told Metro :"We generally seem to lead more transient lifestyles these days and this extends to dating, so it can be considered more difficult to find a long-term partner."

She added, "Couple that with a disposable outlook on life (e.g. constantly searching or waiting for the next car, next phone, next job), this can extend to people…the next partner perhaps!"

Speaking about her own experience, sex blogger, Vix Meldrew, explained, “I dated Jim for six weeks. At times it felt like I was his personal counsellor who just wasn't being paid by the hour but in fine dining and cunnilingus.”

“I talked him through his demons and gave him ways to do things differently next time (I know… eye-roll at me). He made promises for the future which included making things official and introducing me to his mum. Then he ghosted."

“A couple of months later, his Instagram blared declarations of an engagement to his new girlfriend before my bum print had even left his sofa.”

Sound familiar?

Whether you're the hyper or the victim, both can have real implications on your next relationship.

But don't let that stop you from finding the one, there could me someone out there being hyped up for you as we speak. 

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There are countless reasons out there for break-ups; infidelity, long distances, baby plans versus no baby plans etc. To each their own.

However, the latest research on break-ups among the age group of 23-year-olds to 30-year-olds has taken us majorly by surprise, but then again we've had a fair few arguments in the car.

According to recent data published by Ford, 20 percent of millennials admit to breaking up with their significant other because they were a backseat driver. 

Many splits are a result of borderline ridiculous reasons, such as strange habits or annoying idiosyncrasies. We've dumped ex's for chewing loudly, for example, and regret nothing. 

Driving with a passenger who holds the seat dramatically whenever you move the car, who gasps at every turn and who disagrees with the route you've chosen to take can be incredibly frustrating.

Do they suck in their breath whenever you press the accelerator? Do they offer incessant criticism? Do they make you feel like an incompetent driver who should have to hand in your licence?

Yep, we know the type. They basically make you want to kick them out of the car while it's still moving.

argue brad pitt GIF

Apparently other people disagree, and even use backseat driving as an excuse to dump their boyfriend or girlfriend.

"While backseat driving can be a very unattractive behaviour, it's most likely that backseat driving was really just an example that in the relationship, this person may be aggressive, obtrusive, disrespectful, or selfish," Jess Carbino, PhD, Bumble's relationship expert sociologist, tells Cosmopolitan.

Does this mean that our passenger behaviour and our driving attitude reflects our personalities? We drive like a demented soccer mum, so this isn't good news for us.

Tone is a major aspect of the bickering and nagging of a backseat driver argument. Try not to throw shade at anyone's driving skills unless your life is actually endangered, or if somebody else's vehicle is about to get damaged. 

Assigning blame is never a good idea in scenarios like this, use neutral comments to keep the situation, and the driver, calm. Whether you have L plates, N plates or no plates at all, we can be sensitive about our driving abilities.

Have a post-car ride deep meaningful conversation so you can break down what went wrong instead of becoming silently sullen and passive-aggressive. We've all been guilty of it since ditching the L plates.

will smith shut up GIF

Make sure to explain that you are frustrated with their comments, or unhelpful directions. Ask for constructive criticism, or help with the route itself. Try not to curse, even though it may be near impossible to resist.

"Don't let what happened in the car influence the opinion or feelings you have for this person outside of the car," says Carbino, from Bumble.

Leave it in the car or it could damage your love permanently. Unless they're the type that keeps chanting, "Are we there yet?" over and over again. Then you should just end things before it's too late.

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We've all been casually swiping left on a loop until a gorgeous Golden Retriever stops us in our tracks.

Be it a golden-furred Labrador beauty, a tiny terrier puppy with baby paws or a King Charles; dogs melt our hearts and urge us to swipe right.

Many of us believe that inserting dog photos into our dating profiles will garner us more dating app matches, but now a representative from OkCupid may just have confirmed this.

Elite Daily spoke to Michael Kaye, Global Communications Manager at OkCupid, and according to him, adding pictures of dogs in your dating app profile is proven to make it more successful when it comes to matches;

"We actually have millions of dog mentions in OkCupid profiles," Kaye says.

"Users with dog mentions have a higher probability of initial conversation over those with cat mentions. They also have a higher reply rate."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by  (@citruslucy) on

OkCupid also discovered that a love of dogs is something most people agree on; 

"We found that 81 percent of men and 80 percent of women on OkCupid like dogs," Kaye continues. "Additionally, 84 percent of women and 80 percent of men either own a dog or would love to."

Kaye also claims that has been a 422 percent increase in dog mentions on OkCupid profiles since 2017. Everyone must be catching on to the trend…

Gabrielle Aboodi, the Senior Account Executive for Tinder, also told Elite Daily that dating app users are in love with doggos.

"Users typically respond to photos that include animals or travelling shots," she says, adding that roughly 10 percent of both men and women include dogs in their photos.

UK-based pet food company Webbox carried out a two-week social experiment called Pet Wingman, where they tried to find out whether including your dog in your Tinder or Bumble profile boosted your chances of finding a match, and the results were positive.

Women saw an increase of 69 percent more matches when they included a dog in one or more of their pictures, while men saw an increase of 38 percent more matches.

For Tinder, women received 117 percent more matches, 150 percent more messages, 100 percent more super likes, and 122 percent more total interactions.

Men on Tinder received 30 percent more matches, 75 percent more messages, 200 percent more super likes, and 53 percent more total interactions.

Dog photos lead to just as much success on Bumble as they did on Tinder for male users of the app.

For Bumble, women received 22 percent more matches, 100 percent more super likes, and 30 percent more total interactions, while men on Bumble received 45 percent more matches, 40 percent more messages, and 39 percent more total interactions.

"Bumble users often include photos of their pets on their profiles, but they can also use Bumble filters and badges to specially match with people that are also dog lovers," Bumble's Global PR Coordinator Sang Lee commented.

"In fact, our data shows that our pet badge is one of the most popular badges alongside our star sign badge."

There you have it, single ladies and gents. Ruffly the entire population loves woofers, so kickstart that photoshoot and add some swipe right-worthy paw pics to your profile.

You'd be barking mad not to (sorry…).

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Most of us think about sex at least once a day, it's a perfectly natural phenomenon that's an integral aspect of our lives.

Of course, it's important to acknowledge that asexuality exists too, and people with low sex drives for whatever reason, medical or not. So if you're not having erotic fantasies, don't fret.

One question is on our minds at this moment in time: How can we know what generation were the biggest fantasy-addicts of them all, though? That's easy: Science.

masturbating sex and the city GIF

A new study has confirmed that modern women spend THREE TIMES as long dreaming about sex than the women of the 1970s.

The sexual revolution of the late 20th century and falling levels of shame around the taboo of sexuality are thought to be behind the latest spicy trend.

Researchers from the University of Freiburg in Germany asked 2,907 participants aged between 16 and 92-years-old about their sexy-time dreams, and the results are fascinating.

sex and the city its dicklicious GIF

Women under 30 years of age claimed that one-fifth of their dreams were erotic, while for men in the same age group it was one-quarter.

A previous survey from 50 years ago discovered that women thought about sex during sleep only one-third as much as modern ladies.

The gap between genders has closed over time, which the journal Psychology & Sexuality puts down to the rise of feminism and an awareness of intersexuality, queer culture and communication.

 

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The report stated: "One might speculate that younger women in modern society deal with sexuality more openly that older women of previous generations."

An erotic dream is defined as having "sexually motivated" activity, such as flirting and kissing. The scientists from the University of Freiburg in Germany also found that 83.8 percent of two sexes had experienced a wet dream.

Studies which took place back in 1966 and 1998 found less than four percent of women and 12 percent of men confessed to having sex dreams. Maybe they were just being coy? 

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The research didn't go into the type of sex dreams women were experiencing in the past and present, which would be interesting to dig into.

Dream away gals, it's a healthy part of your lifestyle and is proven to influence the development of your sexual preferences.

You're essentially carrying out important scientific experimentation in your own brain, right?

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Boots has always sold lubricants, pregnancy tests and condoms at the end of the family planning aisle, but that was about as exciting as it ever got. Zero steam, zero playtime, zero fun. Until now…

The brand has now launched an online "sexual pleasure and wellbeing" category, and the selection is pure FIRE. 

From bullet vibrators, wand vibrators and vibrating cock rings to G-spot vibes and Lovehoney frisky rabbits; there's something for every horny person on the website.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by  (@lovehoneyofficial) on

The post on their website reads; 

"Say yes… yes…YES to our lust-worthy collection of adult toys to create a buzz in your sex life. Durex’s pleasure rings intensify the sexperience for you both.

"Or why not try So Divine’s discreet vibrating eggs or bullet vibrators? Smile Makers have given wand vibrators a makeover and we’re sure you’ll love their chic, pastel designs. There’s something for everyone, whether you’re going solo or having fun with your partner!"

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by (@smilemakerscollection) on

Research conducted by Boots has discovered that people dedicate 86 percent less time and 60 percent of our money and effort into our wellbeing, compared to any other aspect of our wellness lifestyles.

Sex and masturbation has dozens of known emotional and physical health benefits, so why not invest some time into your pleasure?

In Boot's survey, 45 percent of people said they're comfortable with buying/receiving gifts such as sex toys for or from their partner. These toys will be available in selected stores and you can order them online in discreet packaging.

Lovehoney's rabbit vibrator is a great toy for beginners, seeing as it's not too big and intimidating.

The 'ears' target vibrations to your clitoris while the shaft is designed to stimulate your G-spot at the same time. It's also waterproof so you can use it in the shower, if that's your thing.

Smile Makers The Fireman
Boots, €50

Smile Makers are renowned for their body-safe, phthalate-free sex toys, and creative flair.

The Fireman Personal Massager is described as a "uniquely-shaped clitoral vibrator for an extended stimulation of the whole vulva." Hot damn.

"The house may be burning but this helmeted stud isn't afraid of an intense situation," the description reads. It's quiet, waterproof and has four speeds and two pulsation modes. GET IT

The So Divine Magic Wand is a powerful, dual-motor vibrator that adds to your passion with three speed options and seven pulsating patterns.

It's described as the strong but quiet type that's easy to charge up, and is discreet too. It's water-resistant, latex and phthalate-free, made of premium silky soft silicone and powerful, why not give it a go?

The So Divine Vibrating Rabbit is infamous for its clitoral stimulator and gently contoured shaft.

"The vibrating silicone rabbit has both your clitoral and G-spot orgasm needs covered for an intense blended orgasm," the website description reads.

"Both the stimulator and shaft can be operated separately and with three speeds and seven pulsating patterns, you'll be reaching new highs in no time." Yes, please.

Kiss Kiss also has a heat function, warming up to a body temperature of 37-38 degrees for a lifelike feel that will leave you with a warm, happy glow. Don't forget that dual motor, and it's latex-free.

The stretchy, snug-fitting Lovehoney ring is designed to prolong your fun, offering constriction, climactic textures and relentless single-speed vibrations for two.

"Lovingly crafted from velvety silicone, this petite treat offers mutual arousal in a pocket-sized, travel-friendly package." It's waterproof too, for showertime fun.

It's high time you treated yourself (and others) to some sex toy fun. Get out of your comfort zone and broaden those sexual horizons.

It's not just penetrative sex that gives pleasure, gals and guys. Shop the entire Boots sex toy collection here.

lucifer on fox GIF by Lucifer

Feature image: Instagram/@smilemakerscollection

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Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes have snapped back at haters making fun of the way they kiss, deciding to lock lips in an Instagram video that gets…sloppy.

Shawn explains:

"So we saw on Twitter and stuff, you guys saying about the way we were kissing and how it looks weird. Like we kiss like fish,” Mendes tells the camera in a clip posted to Instagram.

Camila adds that it ‘really hurt our feelings’. Shawn added; "We just want to show you how we really kiss." The couple then go in for the kill, and we died a slow death from that point onwards.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Shawn Mendes (@shawnmendes) on

They basically mash their faces together, with Shawn even putting his hand on the back of the singer's neck at one point, but the laughter gets the better of them and they pull apart.

If they wanted to break the internet they’ve succeeded, as the clip has fetched over three million views in two hours. Their sales from Señorita must be sky-high at this stage.

Celebrities (Niall Horan) had plenty to say in the comments section, but Twitter users couldn't keep their horror to themselves;

"I just saw Camilla cabello and Shawn Mendes kiss in the most horrific, tragic, and disgusting way". We reckon 'tragic' is too harsh a word to use, but we admit to being frightened by the sloppiness.

There were, of course, numerous tweets about eyeballs needing cleansing;

"Why is this on my timeline again, I don't deserve such treatment," another internet user wrote- referencing Arthur memes for good measure;

The classic confused girl GIF popped up as well, not to be missed;

We wonder how fish feel about being compared to two of the most currently successful artists in the game? Nemo is probably chuffed.

At the same time, why is there so much hate about their style of kissing? They're two happy youngsters in the prime of their lives falling in love, yet people are disgusted by their smooches;

Maybe we're all just jealous that Shawn Mendes is now a taken man, or that Camila Mendes is a taken woman. 

#Shawmila fans have been speculating about their relationship since the release of their collaborative tune, and they have been pictured shifting the face off each other on numerous occasions.

They also put on a steamy performance at the VMAs this year, but 22-year-old Camila recently said she refuses to talk about their relationship because she wants to ‘protect’ it.

"I never want to open the door for people to feel like they are involved. I want it to be mine and his. That’s why I’m so tight-lipped about it: because I want to protect it," she said.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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The Havana singer told ELLE:

"Love is the most sacred, precious thing to me. I want to always feel like my love is between me and that person, and never belonging to anyone else. As much as I love my fans, and as much as I love people, I like to live my life as normally as possible," she said.

"In a relationship, it makes me feel uncomfortable to invite everyone in on that.'

Feature image: Instagram/@shawnmendes

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The long-held absurd belief that men have massive libidos and women are pretty indifferent when it comes to sex is still a prominent myth in our society, and new research proves this point.

A new study commissioned by the End Violence Against Women Coalition has shown that almost half of people still reckon that men have stronger sex drives than women.

3,922 British adults were quizzed on heterosexual relationships, and one-third of people (32 percent) think men need sex more than women (WOW) compared to only one percent who said the opposite.

45 percent of the study's participants said that they think a man is more likely to initiate sex, compared with three percent who believe the opposite. 

43 percent said that both sexes were equally responsible for starting sex. One-in-10 of respondents claimed that a woman decides when the intimate act has finished, compared with 36 percent for men and 38 percent who said both.

"Although it's good to find that three-quarters of adults believe men and women are both likely to enjoy sex, what we clearly also have are persistent, widely held views about who sex is primarily 'for', who 'needs' it and whose pleasure matters,” said Sarah Green, director of the organisation.

"This is a cornerstone of equality as much as equal pay and shared parenting, but 'the orgasm gap' is perhaps not as widely discussed as some other key equality issues."

Interestingly, pensioners are more likely than 18-24-year-olds to believe both partners enjoy sex. People aged 65 and older felt both a man and woman would equally enjoy sex.

Among 18-24-year-olds, just 25 percent believe having sex is a mutual decision, while 50 percent think it is up to the man to decide. Just 10 percent believe it’s up to women to choose whether they have sex.

7 percent think women are more likely to "go along with sex to keep their partner happy", compared with only 2 percent who thought the same of men.

Dr Fiona Vera Gray, research fellow at Durham Law School and expert on sexual harassment and pornography, said: "This report shows how far we've got to go in changing outdated ideas about women as sexual gatekeepers."

Research has recently proven that men and women are equally aroused by sexual images, showing that sex makes no difference to the response to sexual visual stimuli.

The Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics in Tübingen, Germany published the news in the scientific journal PNAS last month, saying; "Erotic pictures and videos are widely assumed to induce differential response due to sexual duality," the researchers stated.

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Well, well, well; what do we have here? A possible new flame? Give us the content we deserve.

Love Island fans are positive that Yewande Biala and George Rains are secretly dating after spotting flirty messages on each other's social media.

The pair have regularly been commenting regularly on each other's Instagram posts with suggestive replies, and we're gagging for the romance to blossom.

Image: Instagram/@yewande_biala

The 23-year-old Irish scientist posted a stunning picture of herself in a white skirt and black leggings, captioning the shot; "Where's your favourite place to go for brunch?"

22-year-old Essex builder George replied: "Whereever you are", even adding side-eye emoji. We all know what that means…

Yewande used the same emoji when she commented on a picture of George two days ago, posing next to a river in Cambridge. We see repetition, we see flirtatious banter, we see LOVE.

 

Image: Instagram/@georgerainsofficial

The pair never actually met on the show, as Yewande was dumped before the Casa Amor segment happened, which featured George. He later coupled up with Lucie but the pair never clicked.

Iain Stirling, the ITV show's commentator, made sure to make fun of George's silent demeanor and penchant for talking about snacks.

Image: Instagram/@yewande_biala

George has even left flame emojis underneath Yewande's photos, which sent fans into an absolute frenzy.

"Go for it," posted one Instagram fan. "Secure it period," added another."So are y'll dating orrrrr-." asked a third. ANSWER us, Yewande. We know you want to.

The Irish beauty had a rough time in the villa, coupling up with Danny Williams who later dumped her for Arabella Chi, who was dumped just two days later. He's now smitten with Jourdan Riane, but is it showmance? Probably. The point is: Yewande Biala deserves love.

Feature image: Instagram/@yewande_biala/@georgerainsofficial

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