HomeTagsPosts tagged with "dating"


Okay so we've all given the likes of Tinder and Bumble a go right? 

Well, I certainly have, to no avail, I might add. 

But sure look, it's a bit of fun at the end of the day, and if you're lucky enough to find love (or lust) – good for you!

Anyway, we always get a kick out of a cheeky dating app… until now. 

We recently stumbled upon a new dating creation, called 'Fuck, marry, kill'


Image result for fuck marry kill app

Anyway, this app is exactly what you think it is: 3 profiles come up of your desired gender, and you basically select which of them you'd choose to sleep with, marry and kill. 

Jesus, I'm actually sweating for my poor self esteem with this one. 

The app's creator, Portuguese Rui Gouveia, says it's a cool new way to meet people in a fun and playful manner, "We're seeing two types of users: the ones that use FMK just for the fun of it [and] others for the possibility of meeting new people."

Playful. Really though? 

Image result for fuck marry kill app

The app apparently allows you to check your rating to see if you're more fuckable, marriable or killable.

You actually couldn't make this shit up.

Anyway, once you figure out what category you fall into, the app then matches you with the people who dig you and you can chat if you want to.

Brave enough to give it a whirl? Go forth, and let us know how you get on. 


This won't come as a major surprise but dogs make you more appealing.


“Having a dog really says something about you,” she told NYTimes.

“It says you can care for a creature, that you can follow a schedule, get home to feed it, that you can walk it and love it and spend time with it.”

But wait, there's more!

Image result for dog and hot men gif

Match.com recently surveyed users and found that owning a pet can be a total make or break for single folk looking for love.

Nearly one-third of the 1,200 respondents admitted to being “more attracted” to the opposite sex because they had their very own doggo.


Image result for dog and hot men gif

More than half of the respondents said they would be more inclined to date someone if they considered adopting an animal, and the majority admitted they wouldn’t pursue a relationship if that person didn’t like pets.

Too right. 



With Valentine's day fast approaching, all this talk of love and romance has us wondering if there really is someone out there for everyone?

Finding a date in this country is no easy task – or at least finding a decent date isn't. 

Sure, you could swipe through Tinder, get chatting to young beau in the bar queue, or even join a tag rugby league, but what do you do when none of the traditional methods seem to be working for you?

Put your lovely mug on a billboard – duh!

This week SPIN1038’s Fully Charged Breakfast duo, Graham and Nathan are launching a new dating concept that will see the faces of four Dublin singles featured on billboards around the city.

Inspired by the dating failures of their friend Rusty Rupert, the presenting team thought it was time to shake up the Irish dating scene.

In an Irish radio first, Fully Charged’s Billboard Singles will see four Dublin singles get their very own billboard dating ad for two weeks from 26th February.

Prospective daters who want the chance to date one of the Billboard Singles just need to send in a WhatsApp voice note on why they’d like a date with them and the Billboard Single will get to pick their perfect match on air.

Or, if you'd like to appear on the billboard yourself, simply sign up at www.spin1038.com/SINGLE.

Listeners can follow the Billboard Singles journey every morning on the Fully Charged Breakfast Show and potential daters can keep their eyes peeled for the Billboard Singles from the 26th February.


Dating apps are part and parcel of modern relationships, but sometimes tedious swiping can get a little old. 

According to a recent US survey of 1000 millennials, up to 95pc say they would rather meet someone IRL than online. 

Welcome to the world of Tinder fatigue – symptoms include deleting and re-downloading the app multiple times a year and casting your eyes to heaven every time someone says they're 'not looking for anything serious' in their bio. 

While many people have met their bae on a dating app, for others, the incessant swiping, barrage of 'heys' (or lack there of) and absence of authentic potential dates can seem overwhelming. 

Whether it's Tinder, Do I Date, She or Bumble, sometimes the process seems like a lot of swiping and messaging, but not a lot of actual dating.

This has led to a revival of classic dating techniques, from back in the day when people actually met each other organically rather than via a smart phone. 

From speed dating to group dates, the late nought-teens have seen the return of dating methods that require you actually log out of Netflix and take a shower, rather than chilling in bed in front of a dating site screen. 

For those who want to delete dating apps from their lives forever, meeting someone IRL isn't as daunting as it seems, and you don't have to take the internet out of the equation. 

Here are a few resources that could make taking the plunge into organic dating all the easier: 

1. A Table for Six

While yes, this is technically a website, it takes the intensity out of meeting a stranger from the internet one to one. 

The site teams you up with a group of like-minded individuals all looking for love, and you could also make a few friends if you dont find romance.

2. Facebook Events

While this isn't a specific resource, Facebook is a great place to access events you never even knew were happening in your city. 

If you see an event th interests you click attending and actually go. 

It's likely that you will meet people there who have the same interests as you, especially if it's a niche event like a vegetarian cookery class of a feminist art opening.

3. Story Party

Story Party, held in Dublin 's Sugar Club, is all about sharing the bleak and tumultuous tales of Ireland's dating landscape. 

You can write your favourite dating story on a confessions slips, anonymously, and have it read out to the audience.

While you're there to lol at the anecdotes, you may find yourself on common ground with a fellow singleton. 

4. Volunteering

You can find hundreds of volunteer opportunities online, and committing yourself to a cause you care about has so many benefits. 

As well as helping others and an organisation in need, you have the chance to meet other kindhearted people who care about the same causes you do.

This new social circle could give you further opportunities to meet people like you, who have a commitment to animal rights, solving the housing crisis or feeding those effected by it (as well as making a positive  difference in the world.)

5. Get set up

Who truly knows you better than your friends? Get your pals to keep their eyes peeled for potential suitors. 

After all, Megan Markle was set upo with Prince Harry by a friend, and look how well that worked out. 

Also, you can hold your friends accountable if they set you up with a total creeper, but presuming you have good friends, that probably wont happen. 


Cushioning, submarining, hyping – we've almost lost count of all the awful dating trends that have emerged over the last year or so.

It's hard enough trying to navigate through the world of romance, let alone having to worry about all the little ways our potential partners can destroy our faith in love.

And the latest trend might just be the worst yet.

If you've ever been involved with someone, whether that be a casual fling or a full blown relationship, there's a very high chance you or your partner have engaged in a little thing the experts like to call 'micro-cheating'.

Micro-cheating is described as the act of flirting with someone behind your partners back, and while no physical content is made, its effects can devastate even the most stable of relationships.

Of course, flirting is a natural human behaviour, and something we can do without even realising, but how far does it have to go before it can be considered unfaithful?

Well, speaking about the phenomenon, dating expert, Melanie Schilling told The Huffington Post:

“Micro-cheating is a series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship”.

She explains that examples of micro-cheating include texting someone in secret, lying about your relationship status or having someone saved under a fake name on your phone.

Of course, there's a chance that all these things could be completely innocent and not intended to cause hurt to a significant other, but ongoing secrecy could indicate illicit behaviour.

"If you feel you have something to hide, ask yourself why," she says.

So, what should you do if you become a victim of micro-cheating?

Confront your partner? Say nothing and wait it out?

Melanie has some advice:

“The first thing you need to establish is the intention behind the behaviour.

“If this is an unconscious habit your partner has developed over time, due to previous partners allowing it, then you have the opportunity to put your foot down and set some new rules.

“However, if this is something they are actively choosing to do, and they do not change when you ask them to, perhaps it's time to consider if this relationship is good for your well-being.”

In short, no one should ever be made to feel paranoid or unwanted, so if you find yourself suffering at the hands of your partner's behaviour, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.


Look, you don't need us to tell you that choosing a Christmas present for a new partner is a bloody minefield.

The first festive season with the boyfriend du jour is a real milestone, and it's made all the more difficult if your relationship is still in its first flush when you're only bloody mad about him, but still struggle to remember his surname after a few too many.

While you undoubtedly want to impress, you don't want to scare the bejaysus out of him, and you have a sneaking suspicion that with one overly romantic or intimate gift you might find yourself celebrating New Year's Eve alone.

Ladies, you walk a very fine line in this situation, and we're here to hold your hand.

Band T-shirts

Lads love T-shirts. It's a simple fact of life, and it makes Christmas very easy for most of us.

Whether it's Kanye, Metallica or Radiohead he's into, you can't go wrong springing for a T-shirt that gives more than a passing nod to his favourite band.

The classic wallet

Choosing clothes for a lad can be a minefield (unless it's a band T-shirt), but accessories are a lot easier, especially if you keep it simple.

There are some seriously slick wallets out there right now which definitely won't break the bank.

Craft beer

If you know even one lad that wouldn't thank you for a crate of his favourite craft beers, we'd like to meet him.

While it might seem a little impersonal, it's actually far from it… especially if you've taken note of his favourite tipples over the last six months.

Board games

Kick it old-school on Christmas Day and gift your new bloke with a game the pair of yee can puzzle over together.

Yes, it's not the most sentimental, but hey that's what next year's Christmas is for!






For many of us the festive season acts as the perfect excuse to cosy up in front of the fire and politely reject any invitation that involves leaving the house – after all, they don't call it the most wonderful time of the year for nothing.

And while some of us might be content spending the winter months catching up with friends and family over copious amounts of chocolate and wine – some singletons have a very different agenda altogether.

If dark evenings and cold temperatures leave for longing for a winter cuddle buddy, you might be suffering from something called Seasonal Dating Disorder (SDD). 

Think about it.

How many times have you, or someone you know, settled in with a romantic partner over the yuletide period, only to completely lose interest by the time spring rolls around?

Often referred to as 'cuffing season' – SDD sufferers are more inclined to search for partner in the later half of the year, because hey, no one likes to be lonely at Christmas.

Speaking to The Independent, the Passion Smiths director said: “Singles who display this type of dating pattern are unable to commit.”

“They use summer fun and friends as an excuse for this pattern, but in reality it is because they are unable to form lasting romantic bonds.”

“They may have the illusion they can settle down whenever they want to, but they can’t and until they do decide they want a lasting relationship will they realise they are unable to; that’s when I’ll see them in my office.”

And while all this has definitively given us something to think about, we refuse to let the fear of cuffing keep us from finding the ultimate festive romance. 



Sure look, dating is an absolute minefield.

Let's be honest here, there are few among us who don't have at least one 'First Date' horror story; a tale of such woe our friends have forced us time and time again to regale them with it.

Nevermind that the mere memory of the encounter leaves us clammy-handed and vaguely distressed, other people's dating stories are fair game.

They're awkward, they're agonising, and they're also hugely entertaining… as long as you didn't have to endure them.

And that, ladies,  is why we'll be featuring weekly instalments from Swipe Right – a blog about the ups and downs of dating in Dublin and London. 

Last week our gal comes face to face with a guy who might be too good to be true, and now it's time for them to arrange the infamous third date.

The morning after our second date, I awoke to my phone buzzing with messages. 8.39am and he has sent me six texts.

Good morning, gorgeous.”

“How you feeling?”

“I had so much fun last night”

“Really keen to see you again soon.”

“when can I see you next ?”

“Hope I didn’t wake you.”

Too late buddy. You did.

Jeez man, ever heard of playing it cool? I mean it was nice to have a guy so interested in me, but my whole 'wanting to take things slow' meant I was adverse to this blatant show of affection.

He had a whiff of wife-shopper off him.

I had said in a previous post how I would explain what the key components of a wife shopper are.

So, here goes: a Wife Shopper is a man who can be found on most active dating sites. He is usually aged 32-40.

All his friends have recently settled down and have gotten married/had babies. His Friday night down the pub group has dwindled from eight to just two, him and the one other being the lad, who everyone thinks might have a bit of a problem with the drink.

He has decided that he absolutely must meet a girl who he can marry ASAP just so he can have something in common with all his married mates who seem to now do lots of things with his other couple friends.

He is so intent on marrying he has thrown all his normal dating criteria out the window. He doesn’t really care what she does, where she lives, what she’s interested in. He just wants to bag her so he can get her down the aisle.

He often succeeds cause let’s face it the majority of women on dating sites are husband shopping too. These types of unions rarely end well, he cheats and she gets fat and miserable. But hey they’re married! Yay!

Anyway, I looked at his messages and decided to turn off my phone, roll over and go back to sleep.

When I awoke a couple of hours later, I turned on my phone and had two missed calls and four more messages from him.

“You ok?”

“Sorry if I woke you.”

Half an hour later…

“I’m off to my Mums, she does a mean Sunday roast”

“Let me know when you are free next week I’ve a few ideas for our next date."

Ugh gosh, I realised I actually had a crazy week ahead. Work events almost every night and my friend was visiting from Dublin at the weekend. The only day I was free was the very next day which was a Monday and I was loathe to go out on a date on a Monday night. He’d have to wait till next week.

“Um… Hi!! Sorry I was actually sleeping late this morning so hope you didn’t think I was being rude by not replyinG. I had a lovely night last night too. Thanks for organising it all!” I texted

He replied within seconds.

“Ah you’re awake ! No worries I saw from WhatsApp you hadn’t read my messages yet! Dreaming of me, I hope ha ha ha”

Yikes. Awkward.

“Oh ha ha ha gosh don’t even know what I was dreaming of,” I replied lamely

“So, did you see my messages about our next date?” he typed eagerly

“Oh yep I did, so ….I actually have a mental week this week. I don’t think I’ll be free till next week.”

“Whaaaattt? Really? Oh no that’s a shame, I was really keen to see you.”

Yeah no shit, Sherlock.

“Oh I know, sorry it’s just I literally only have Monday night free this week there’s just loads on,”

“Ok great, well let’s do something tomorrow then. Maybe the cinema?” he asked hopefully.

“Oh oooh I dunno I kinda just want to keep tomorrow free seeing as I’m going to be out all week.”

“I thought we had a good night last night. Is this a brush off?” he said

“Gosh no man, not at all. I had a great night too, I actually am just geniuinely busy, I am looking forward to seeing you again too I swear.”

“Ok great, great. If you’re sure. I’ll just have to be patient and wait to see you again next week.” he relented

“We’ll defo meet up I’ll let you know when  I’m free ASAP”, I assured him. “Enjoy lunch in your mums, I’ll talk to you later”

“Ok great thanks, have a great day too.”

Later that evening my phone buzzed again.

“Hey gorgeous, how’s you?”

Ugh for Gods sake, I thought, pressing pause on my stream of Breaking Bad.

“Hiiii” I attempted,

“What you up to?”

“Oh just chillin, watching Breaking Bad” I said hoping  he’d get the hint.

“Great! Sooo I’ve just finished lunch in my mums and wondered if you fancied a drink now?”

I looked down at my house hoodie and pyjama bottoms which I had been wearing all day. There wasn’t a hope in hell of me going anywhere.

“Oh haha thanks, but not a chance of me moving tonight,” I warned.

“Ah fair enough, I just thought I’d chance my arm. Some mates of mine are out in Covent Garden they are trying to get me to come in.”

“Oh cool, you defo should”, I said hoping to wrap this up so I could get back to Walt and Jessie.

“Yeah I rarely get to see them all much lately but I’m a bit tired so not sure really.”

“Ah well if you don’t get to see them you should defo go in.”

“Really? You really think I should?”

“Eh.. Yeah sure… YOLO and all that, Go have a few drinks and enjoy yourself.”

“Wow” he said “that’s really good advice coming from a PG.”

Hmmm PG? What’s a PG? Parent Guardian was the only PG I knew!

“PG?” I typed “What’s a PG?”

“Potential Girlfriend."

Oh good God. I think I just did a little bit of sick in my mouth. He did not just say that. He did not just call me his potential girlfriend after two dates.

“Ummmmm, huh?” Sorry, but I wasn’t even going to pretend this was OK..

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said potential,” he said

Oh God, this is getting worse.

“Eh no no, the potential is fine, it’s the G word I have a problem with,” I said

“Oh sorry, it was just an expression, I just really like you and think it’s great you are encouraging me to meet my mates. My ex would never have done that.” he pleaded.

“Right, yeah ok, but maybe just leave the G  word out of it for a wee while. I’m just out of a relationship as I mentioned last night so I just don’t want to be rushing into anything serious, hope that’s ok?” I explained

”Yeah of course of course, sorry I didn’t mean to freak you there, it was just an expression.”

“Cool no worries, anyway look enjoy yourself with your mates. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I said, hastily cutting him off.

He may have pulled a top 10 date outta the bag last night, but the way he’s acting now I’m half expecting to find a bunny boiling on my cooker top.

The next morning he sent me another message.

“Hey, took your advice last night and went out with the lads. Worse for wear now."

“Ha oh God, poor you.”

“Hey listen sorry if I came on too strong last night, I think I might have had one two many glasses of wine with my Sunday roast. I know you are wanting to take things slow and I totally respect that”

'Awww ok well that’s fair enough.' I thought. If his biggest crime was that he liked me a tad too much then I needed to give him a break.

Turns out when I told all my workmates about his PG comment his biggest crime was most definitely calling me a Potential Girlfriend. Some of them actually gasped and took steps backward when I told them.

Not even the champagne and oysters of the date could override this obvious faux pas.

But I had already promised a third date.


To be continued….

If you want to learn more about Ariana's dating exploits, be sure to keep up to date on Swipe Right's Facebook page.


As if the world of modern dating wasn't complicated enough, it seems our potential suitors have come up with a new express their disinterest – and no, it's not being open and honest (shocker).

Ghosting, gatsbying, stashing – the list goes on. 

And now, let us introduce the newest trend on the dating scene, 'submarining'.

According to Metro.co.uk, the new phenomenon is a close relative of zombieing – the act of going AWOL on a potential love interest only to return months later with a rather pathetic 'Hey, sorry it's been a while. How've you been?' message.

Of course, their lackluster excuse is not worth an response, but hey, at least you got an apology.

A submarine victim would never be so lucky.

After months of zero contact, said submarining will once again slide into your DMs without ever acknowledging their extended absence.

No 'I've been really bust with work', no 'I've had a lot on plate these past few months,' in fact, they'll have no shame whatsoever.

Not only is it pretty presumptuous of them to expect you're still interested after all this time, but above all else, it's just plain rude.

And while it might be tempting to let the past go, we'd recommend you do quite the opposite. If you don't, you risk setting yourself up for another let down, and let's face it, calling someone out on their BS can be pretty cathartic. 


Scott Disick is reported to be dating 19-year-old model Sofia Richie

The pair were spotted reclining and strolling on a beach in Florida this week.

The new couple stole a kiss, which was captured by paps at the scene.

The pair were also spotted together during New York Fashion Week last week. 

Sofia, daughter of Lionel Richie, is fifteen years younger than her new beau. 

Kourtney Kardashian, Scott's ex and mother to his three children, is reportedly embarrassed by his behaviour. 


A post shared by Sofia Richie (@sofiarichie) on

A source told The Sun: 'Kourtney is done with Scott – she finds his behaviour embarrassing.'

'She’s totally over it and can’t help but be furious with him. Why is he hanging around with teenage girls?'

Scott was previously linked to Bella Thorne, also 19, during the summer. 

Kourtney has also moved on with a younger man. Her current boyfriend, Younes Bendjima is 23-years-old. 


This one was ridiculously good looking, and I mean that in a Zoolander kinda way, as almost all of his pics were 'blue steels' but sadly non-ironically.

But to be fair to him he was hot. He was tanned with a David Beckham’esque hair cut and piercing blue eyes.

One of his pics was him at a wedding in a gorgeous expensive looking crisp white shirt, collar undone, dickie bow hanging loosely either side, mouth open…

OK done… swipe right! Thank the Lord it’s a match.

The Chat

It was about 11pm on a Sunday night. I often go on a Tinder spree at this time if I’ve had a particularly boring weekend so my quest to find my OTL gets ramped up.

I messaged him.

“I bet I can guess what you do for a living in three guesses."

Now, I know this may sound like a pretty great Tinder opening line to get a guy to engage in a conversation, and that maybe this was a line I’d used before but in fact it wasn’t!

I actually genuinely just thought from looking at his pics that I could guess what he did.

“Well that sounds like a fun challenge,” he replied straightaway. “I tell you what, if you guess correctly I buy you drinks all night. If you guess incorrectly, then the evenings on you.”

“Challenge accepted,” I replied with a winky face. “OK, so guess number one, you dress well, you’re nicely tanned, you have a certain suaveness about you, I reckon you work in Recruitment / Sales?”

“Incorrect,” he replied

“Damn. Hmmm ok Creative Director?”

“Nope, wrong again, these free drinks are looking good to me,” he replied cheekily.

Damn! Ok come on Ari,you’ve got this. I looked at his pics again, studied every nuance and suddenly it hit me!

“I know, I know! You work in banking” I exclaimed.

“Yes! I didn’t think you’d guess correctly!” he replied, clearly impressed

“OK ,then you smart alec, when you free for me to fulfil my end of the bargain?”

And just like that I had a date! That was pretty frickin easy!

The Date

He picked the bar, the date and the time!

Finally; a man who can take control and make a friggin decision!

This particular date was one of my many Tinder dates I had when living in London, so the destination was a quaint little wine bar in Kings Cross or so the website informed me when I looked it up.

I rarely went out in Kings Cross despite it being just two stops on the Tube from where I lived, but I was grateful for the change of scenery and the chance to experience another side of London nightlife.

We had been chatting briefly over WhatsApp in the three days between my opening guessing game and our date night, but in all honesty I knew very little about this guy.

Sometimes this is the best way to play the Tinder game; just lock in a date straight away without spending weeks chatting back and forth which can often heighten your expectations before being spectacularly let down when you meet the real life person.

This was just simple. I’d get to know him on the date like dating should be before apps took over and ruined everything!

Unfortunately, the quaint little wine bar was so quaint it was impossible to find!

I obediently followed the blue flashing dot on my iPhone to a dead end, turned around and asked several passersby if they knew where this said bar was (quite possibly one of the most frustrating experiences on earth, having to ask people in London for directions) needless to say my pleas for help left me none the wiser and I was forced to call him.

“Hello?” he said in an incredibly sexy north London accent

“Oh hi um, it’s me Ariana, sorry but I’m a bit lost and can’t find the bar.”

“No worries, I’m here now actually so I’ll just drop you a pin and you should find it easily then.”

“Super, thanks a mil, see you soon.”

“Red wine ok?” He asked before I hung up.

“Red wine would be perfect."

So far, this guy was my kinda guy.

Two seconds later and my phone pinged with a location pin and five minutes later I was arriving into a dim candlelit wine bar with leather couches and several cool Londoners dappled around the room sipping out of over sized wine glasses.

A quick glance around the room and there was my date.

I gulped.

Shit, this guy was hot. Like, intimidatingly so.

He was sitting down, one arm up on the back of the couch, legs spread in comfortable and confident manner.

He was wearing a round necked navy cashmere jumper, dark blue jeans and fabulous brown leather brogues.

He looked at me and smiled and my heart skipped a beat. His teeth were white and perfectly straight, he looked like something you’d see from a catalogue advertising yachts for sale.

I selfconciously swept my hair over to one shoulder and headed over to him with a smile.

“Hey, God, sorry I was totally lost there,” I said as he stood to greet me.

“No worries, at all, nice to meet you, ” he said placing his hand on my arm and double kissing  me on each cheek.

I sat down next to him. Now it was my turn to be nervous.

He picked up the bottle of wine and went to pour it into my ready and waiting empty glass, but before he did he cocked his head and asked.

“It’s a Marlborough Pinot Noir, that ok for you?”

Absof*ckinlutely I thought, while I just nodded at him.

“So Ariana” he said handing me the glass “How long you been on Tinder?”

Boom. That was it.

One of the worst opening question you can be asked on a Tinder date as I’ve come to the conclusion that when I guy asks you that straight off the bat he is looking for one thing and one thing only and that’s no strings attached sex.

Look, don’t get me wrong. I’m no prude and there is nothing wrong with a bit of fun here and there but when you are on a quest to find your OTL and you're putting yourself out there to go on these endless dates, knowing that a guy is only out for one thing straight off the bat is a bit disconcerting.

You’re suddenly playing a very different game. If, indeed, you even want to play the game at all, but if you do, you are moving from the Charm Offensive, to the Art of Seduction and sometimes that switch doesn’t come easy.

But looking at this guy I wasn’t putting away the key to my chastity belt just yet, I’d see where the night would take us, so I sipped my wine and said, “Oh, only a couple of months, how about you?”

“Bout two months now.”

“Oh right ok, so you’re only recently single I take it.”

“That’s right, yeah, just came out of a five year relationship.”

“Wow so you must be like a kid in a candy store now with Tinder eh?”

He laughed at this while nodding his head “Oh yeah Tinder is AWESOME” he said eyeing me appreciatively.

I was wearing a v necked black and white dress, black tights and high boots, with red lipstick and a thickly black lined eyes. I wasn’t looking too shabby, but I still felt like Attilla the hun next to him.

He reached for his wine glass and I noticed his hands were manicured. Perfectly buffed cuticles glowed within the setting of his beautifully tanned hands.

“Yeah, yeah, I gotta say discovering Tinder after being in a relationship for five years has been quite the revelation,” he smiled and took a sexy sip of his vino.

“I’d say you’re having fun alright” I agreed knowingly.

“Have you had any horror dates so far?” I asked.

“One or two, one or two” he said nodding

“Actually my very first one was a bit of a nightmare” he added in his posh London droll.

“Oh yeah, pray tell” I said getting comfortable.

“Well, so I matched with this girl, who was f*cking hot, like a model, like she was a ten for sure” he said getting excited.

Cue another selfconscious sweep of my hair to one side and straightening of my posture. I am probably a 4 and a half at best, so knowing I was being compared to a 10 was unnerving.

“Oh yeah, good for you” I said with a nod and a wink

“Well yeah, but, well wait till you hear,” he said raising his hand and smiling at me

“So we arrange to meet down on Southbank, at about 4pm. It was a gorgeous sunny day and I rock up in my shades and I see this chick sitting there and she is super hot, like absolutely gorgeous, a model for sure”

OK dude, I get it she was hot.

“So I sit down and we order a bottle of wine and we get chatting and I mean she was a nice enough girl, but just not a lot of substance to her, but like she was smokin, so anyway we’re chatting and drinking and just shooting the breeze and we order another bottle of wine and everything’s going great, and I’m thinking, I’m quids in here. This girl is amazing, Tinder is unbelievable, I’m feeling good about being single and then she goes…”Hey so guess what I tried last week for the first time” and I said “Oooh I dunno, tell me” thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts and then she goes “Crack”.

"Pah!" I guffawed at that point and sat up in my seat.

“Whaaatt?” I said with dramatic affect. “I assume she didn’t mean Irish craic.”

“No no, not at all, this girl was from Kent, and she meant crack as in the drug”


“So I said, what do you mean like crack the drug? and she said “Yeah, yeah, I smoked it, it was great, have you ever tried it?” and I said 'Erm no no, can’t say that I have no.”

I interrupted him here and said: “So like have you ever tried any drugs?”

“Oh yeah like I mean I’ve dabbled here and there when I was younger but nothing major, I work out six days a week” he said rubbing his belly.

Actually, belly is probably the wrong word, he was toned and fit as f*ck this chap.

“So, I don’t really like to mess with my body too much, but this hot chick just being so blase and open about the fact she had done crack was baffling to me," he said.

“So what happened?” I asked

“Well it gets worse. So I said ‘oh um,  but that’s cool, good for you, so you like to party then do you” and she said “hell yeah I love to party, hey what do you say we get a bag of coke and go back to yours?”

"So I look at this girl and I take in the situation and I hesitate for like a second before saying “Hell yeah, lets do it”. So I call for the bill and this chick takes out her phone and calls her dealer and I settle the bill and next thing I know we are standing outside Waterloo station waiting for her dealer to come," he continues.

"She turns to me and says “I ordered two grams, that cool with you?” and I’m just getting swept up in the situation so I’m like, “yeah sure great”, to be honest if this chick said she had ordered  two elephants dressed in tutu’s I would have just gone along with it."

"But then she says 'So I just need to go to the ATM'. So I go with her and I’m waiting for her and the ATM starts to beep and she turns to me all sheepishly and says, “oooh insufficient funds, that’s um embarrassing, don’t suppose you can spot us, for now?”

"She sidles up to me like a cat and plants a kiss on my cheek so I’m still thinking ok sure, “how much is it?” and she goes “£300”.

"Now I’m no mug and I know that coke does not cost that much so I said “How much?” and she said, “oh it’s really good stuff, pure cut."

"Just then her phone rang, and she said “oh it’s ‘im”. She answered and walked away from me to talk to him."

"So I’m standing there and I’m looking at her, and looking at the entrance to Waterloo and the escalators down to the concourse and I’m thinking, 'something isn’t right here, I’m gonna get done over here I can just feel it.'"

"So, she’s on the phone and she’s about 15 feet away with her back to me talking frantically to this guy and I’m looking at her and looking at the escalators, and then looking at her and looking at the escalators and then I just think, fuck it, so I legged it and left her.”


“Hahahahahahah” I laugh “Oh my god I can’t believe you just left her”

“Oh I bet the ‘dealer’ was probably her pimp or something. Looking back now the whole situation was just dodgy as fuck.”

“Haha, oh God that’s hilarious though, talk about an intro into app dating.”

“I know, it’s been fun though, I’ve been on quite a few dates since then and they’ve all been fun.”

Yep, this guy was having his cake and eating it.

“So how about you?” he asked while signalling to the waitress. “Any horror stories?”

As readers of this blog, you will know that I can regale people with a dating story or two so I began to tell him about ‘The Visa Hunter’.

As I was telling the story he ordered us another bottle of wine and some olives to nibble on.

I was enjoying myself. This guy was fun, but I could tell that he was just gonna be a one time thing.

He seemed like he was super materialistic and narcissistic, a stereotypical London pretty boy banker, and indeed he was.

It later transpired, as we went through our second bottle of wine, that he lived in a duplex apartment in London Bridge, he drove a Porsche and went skiing every year in Chamoinx.

Our conversation moves on and we get talking about our religious beliefs. I think it was because of my Irish’isms, throwing the words God and Jesus around as sentence fillers.

“So you a good Catholic Irish girl then?” he asked mischievously

“Ha well I wouldn’t go that far” I said. “I’m Catholic by birth defect not really religious at all, but I would be quite spiritual” making an effort to look deeply into his sea blue eyes.

“Oh yeah? That’s cool, that’s cool, yeah me too, me too, I’ve recently become quite spiritual myself,” he said

“Oh really, how so?” This was interesting, most men would baulk at the idea of spirituality!

He suddenly looked all serious and solemn.

“Well honestly I read this book recently that just changed my life! It was by the amazing Brazilian authour Paulo…..”

“Cohelo” I said, finishing his sentence for him

“YEAH! Paulo Cohelo, you’ve heard of him?”

Um yeah course I have. Me and 40 million other people worldwide who’ve read his canon fodder “books”.

“Um yeah, I’ve read a few of his books,” I replied

His eyes grew wide as if I’d just said something super impressive to him.

“Wow that’s incredible, well basically oI read this unbelievable book he wrote about this Shepherd called Santiago”

Oh god is this guy for real, is he about to tell me that The Alchemist changed his life.

“It is called The Alchemist,” he said in a sacred tone

“Um yeah I’ve read it”

“YOU’VE READ IT!” he exclaimed.

Er, yes, me and 20 million other people. The way this guy is talking about this book you’d swear he found it by the side of the road while on a pilgrimage to Mecca.

“Isn’t it just amazing? It made me want to quit my job and just go tending sheep in the foothills of Chile” he said whimsically

“Haha, oh don’t do that mate, your Porsche isn’t gonna drive itself,” I said ironically

Gosh I’m sorry, but anyone who thinks The Alchemist is the peak of literary goodness is just a little bit lost inside.

I decided this would be a good time to go for a smoke and he said he would join me.

While outside I could see him better. And he was just divine. While I smoked, he pretended to inhale on the cigarette I had given him.

“I’m not a big fan of smoking” he said “But actually when I was in Morocco last month I ordered a fab porcelain hashish pipe and a tonne of flavoured tobacco. It just got delivered yesterday actually”

“Oh amazing I love Hashisha” I said tipsyly.

“Oh yeah? Well, hey look, I don’t live too far from here in a cab, do you fancy coming back and helping me build it and we can smoke some apple or vanilla flavoured tobacco out on my roof? I have an amazing view over London.”

Now look, I know this guy wasn’t going to be my OTL, but smoking hashisha fresh from Morocco with an absolute ridebag on a London rooftop are not things I get the chance to do that often so ….

I adjusted my hailo on my head, kissed him on the cheek and went home by myself, got into my pyjamas, made myself a cup of cocoa, said my prayers and went to sleep.

If you want to learn more about Ariana's dating exploits, be sure to keep up to date on Swipe Right's Facebook page


So, whether you're a hopeless romantic or professional cynic, we can all agree that public displays of heartbreak and devastation are well, at little over the top.

Don't get us wrong, we love cheesy rom-coms and The Script's albums as much as the next person, but we can't help but feel slightly puzzled by this man's attempt to win back his ex-girlfriend.

Luke Howard, a 34-year-old musician who reckons he's some kind of real life Prince Charming, has set up a piano in a public park in Bristol, pledging to play the keys until his beloved 'Rapunzel' takes him back.

According to Metro.co.uk, the heartbroken romantic said it was his “last throw of the dice” after the four-month long relationship came to an end.

Image: Bristol Post 

Speaking to the Bristol Post, Luke explained that the pair's parting “wasn’t anything nasty or bad,” but merely a case of bad timing.

“If it was anything bad why we split up then I wouldn’t be doing this, but it’s the only thing I can think of doing.”

Couldn't just pick up the phone then, no? OK.

He continued: “It’s a kind of off-the-cuff thing, and I just want her to know how much I love her, to give us a chance rather than leave it there. I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet.”

And though the mysterious 'Rapunzel' has yet to comment on the situation, it seems Luke's plan may have already backfired after Twitter got wind of his stunt, and well, basically did what Twitter does best.

What do you think? Romantic or just plain creepy?