You're single for like a million years, then you happened to magically stumble upon someone who – at first – seems to tick every box.
Plus he's so pleasant to look at that it hurts and basically you can't believe your luck.
''It's finally happened,'' you proudly tell the gals over G&T's. ''He seems to good to be true, tbh.''
And bam! there's your first clue – if it seems to good to be true, it usually is.
I've had three relationships in my 24 years, plus a few shorter dalliances and I genuinely never bought the whole excusing-someone's-trash-behaviour-because-you-fancy-the-arse-off-them thing.
Or maybe I've been lucky to have never gotten tangled up with a narcissist before…whatever.
But, oh boy, it happens.
Doesn't the quote go like- "people tell you who they are in the beginning, you just choose not to listen.''
But if you want to avoid heartbreak a few weeks/months down the line, then listen up: if you see more than one of these red flags listed below – run.
They're non-negotiable, just like your self-respect.
1. He shows signs of controlling behaviour.
You'll probably read that and say ''omg, obvs! I wouldn't put up with that, no way'', but it can be extremely subtle.
And if they're seasoned at it, it can happen almost without you noticing the first few times – or worse, noticing it and letting it slide.
Warning phrases can be anything to telling you he doesn't like you wearing your hair a certain way/a lot of make-up to ordering for you in restaurants and putting you down in the the pub in front of your mates.
Don't fall into questioning your self-worth.
2. He's mean with money
If he's tight with money, he will be mean in other ways – with his time, his affection, his words.
It just shows bad character and you don't need to voluntarily associate yourself with someone like that.
3. His actions don't match his words
Who doesn't love to be told they look fab?
The problem here is when the person you're dating is saying all the right things but in the next breath he's giving you unprompted stories about his ex/past sex life or ogling another person in the bar.
The word for this is: fake.
4. He passes comments on other women/people in general
I mean, I'm laughing as I type this, this should be a shut-and-close-case of ''he's a sh*thead, what are you doing with him?'' BUT, here me out.
It's early, early days with someone and he says something rude and you're shocked and you pull them up on it, fine, ok. It's when the actions become repeated and they become the norm.
My advice then? He's not a good person, and not worth your precious time.
5. Something just feels ''off''
This is the worst one. Because it's not tangible.
If you're battling paranoia in the beginning, it won't probably won't get better.
Your gut can tell when something's not right. We might ignore the uneasy feeling in our stomachs, but it's there for a reason.
Basically, if you're holding back a bit, it's more than likely because you've picked up on energy that he's giving out – that's what you ''can't put your finger on.''
Look, you know if someone is genuinely good for you or not.
I read this the other day and it struck a chord with me; ''No amount of physical attraction or good sex is worth clinging to someone who does not make you feel at peace with yourself.''
Workplace romance is becoming a little vintage, it would seem. Except less fashionable.
Just one-in-10 couples (11 percent) are now finding love in the workplace, according to a new report. Nearly one-in-five romances in 1990 were forged at work, in comparison. Back in the day, things were clearly done differently.
They were also times when people stayed at the same job their entire lives though, and most likely met less people, seeing as travel options were less extensive. If you are struggling to find love or need advice on your current relationship, consider seeking guidance from Nebula. Nebula offers a platform for individuals to receive psychic love readings and relationship advice from experienced and trusted psychics. With Nebula, you can gain insight into your love life and improve your chances of finding happiness and fulfillment in your relationships.
The research was published in the latest ‘How Couples Meet and Stay Together Study’ from Stanford University.
Nichi Hodgson, author of The Curious History of Dating: From Jane Austen to Tinder, in an interview with Yahoo UK claims that striking up a relationship with a colleague is now “less sociably acceptable”.
Despite the fact that we’re spending longer hours in the workplace, we are now more cautious than ever about a co-worker relationship turning into something romantic, according to Hodgson, due to the #MeToo movement.
The movement aims to tackle workplace sexual harassment and assault, and has been building since Tarana Burke started it back in 2006. It caught fire in 2017 after the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke.
Nichi Hodgeson claims that “workplace relationships need to be conducted very carefully to ensure there’s no breach of company behavioural guidelines.” I mean, it ain’t that hard not to be a creep.
Hodgson also argues that we shouldn’t necessarily be disappointed by the end of the workplace romance:
“They don’t necessarily show you someone’s true colours – you won’t see how tender or angry someone can be at work, for example, because the majority of people are on their best behaviour,” she says.
“Just because they’re a good team player at work doesn’t mean they necessarily will be in a relationship.”
Online dating and apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OK Cupid are now taking the lead in bringing people together, with almost one-in-four (39 percent) of heterosexual couples meeting through those platforms.
This is an increase since 2009, when the stats showed 22 percent of hetero couples meeting online, according to the Stanford University findings.
Meeting through friends is still a popular means of finding your future partner, but it’s much less common than it was in the past. Over a third (34 percent) of people met this way in 1990, but it’s now just one in five (20 percent)
“Dating apps may have only been around for a decade but they have a radical hold on our affections when it comes to meeting a partner, mainly because they are so convenient in our ever time-pressed lives,” Hodgson says.
“They’re not necessarily leading to better connections though for multiple reasons – they create a paradox of choice, giving us too many people to choose between when social scientists tell us we get cognitive overload somewhere between five and nine options,” she continues.
“Dating apps are encouraging us to be ruder with behaviours,” Hodgson adds, which is due to a “lack of accountability needed from users”. Overall, Hodgson believes that dating apps can still lead to a stable, long-term match.
“When we do finally choose a serious partner from a dating app, we are likely to stick with them – we are taking longer to settle on someone but that is producing more stable long-term matches when we finally commit.”
Valentine's Day can either be the most swoon-worthy event in the calendar year for loved-up couples, or a Hallmark-card disaster for the broken hearted.
Whether you'll be heading on a candelit-dinner date with roses or cuddling up with your pet on the couch, we can all use a little romantic-comedy movie magic.
We've created a list of our film favourites for the loveliest day of the year…enjoy ladies.
1. Set It Up
Harper and Charlie, played by Zoey Deutch and Glen Powell, are plagued by cruel and hugely demanding bosses, until they decide to join forces and essentially trick them into falling in love with each other.
The biggest project of their young careers ensues, as their bosses will only fall for each other around their tight schedules, but will Harper and Charlie make a connection too?
Lucy Liu steals scenes as Kristen, Harper's insanely scary sports reporter boss. This movie is one of our favourite rom-coms ever, it somehow banishes clichés while remaining lovable at the same time.
2. To All The Boys I've Loved Before
The massively popular film is based on Jenny Han's trilogy, The Summer I Turned Pretty, and the Netflix movie caused quite the stir since its release.
Starring the adorable Lana Condor and Noah Centineo as teenagers who pretend to date in order to solve one young girl's letter-related disaster, you'll fall in love with this feature.
Lara Jean's love life goes from imaginary to out of control when the five love letters written privately to every boy she’s ever loved are mysteriously mailed out, despite the fact that they were hidden in her bedroom…
3. La La Land
Who could forget this stunning movie from Academy Award-nominee Damien Chazelle.
La La Land tells the breathtakingly beautiful story of Mia, an aspiring actress, and Sebastian, a dedicated jazz musician, struggle to make ends meet in a city known for crushing hopes and breaking hearts.
The unique musical about everyday life explores the joy and pain of pursuing your dreams; Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are unbelievable in their acting prowess and chemistry in this tale of love in LA.
4. Valentine's Day (of course)
Yet another American rom-com from veteran film-maker Gary Marshall; Valentine's Day shows a series of interconnected stories of L.A. residents (celebrities) who go through the highs and lows of love on Valentine's Day.
From first dates, long-time marriages, old flames and new crushes, the stories will melt your heart like Ben & Jerrys on the couch.
The all-star cast consists of Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Kathy Bates, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, Anne Hathaway, Shirley MacLaine, Emma Roberts, and even Taylor Swift in her acting debut.
5. The Notebook
The Nicholas Sparks classic that has everyone reaching for the tissues, and which launched Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams from obscurity to stardom.
The pair also fell in love in real life while filming, so it's even more special.
Based in 1940s South Carolina, mill worker Noah falls for rich girl Allie but her parents force them apart. Noah leaves to serve in the second World War, and Allie finds love elsewhere. When Noah returns to their small town, their romance is far from over.
6. Crazy, Stupid, Love
Ryan Gosling just can't escape this round-up list, can he?
The hilarious and heart-warming film follows Cal, played by Steve Carell, as he undergoes a divorce from his wife Emily, played by Julianne Moore. Cal is still desperately in love with Emily, and his life is unravelling until he discovers Emily's infidelity.
Single at the age of 40, he finds Jacob (The charming Ryan Gosling), a handsome and youthful seducer who teaches Cal how to flirt with women again. Jacob is a bachelor of sorts, until his consistent co-star Emma Stone comes into the forefront. The pair really do sizzle on-screen together, but maybe it's just Ryan Gosling and anyone?
7. The Fault In Our Stars
Based on the critically-acclaimed YA book by John Green, the film follows Hazel Grace (Shailene Woodley), a young teenager diagnosed with cancer.
The 16-year-old meets and falls in love with Gus Waters, played by Ansel Elgort, after meeting him in a cancer support group.
Gus uses his invitation to meet Hazel's favourite author, Peter Van Houten, and brings her to Amsterdam to meet the recluse. Their love story becomes entangles by health problems, with often tragic circumstances. This one's a certified tear-jerker.
8. About Time
With an Irish star, what's not to love?
Domhnall Gleeson stars as Tim, who discovers the family secret at 21-years-old; the men in their family can time-travel.
Tim resolves to change his life by getting himself a girlfriend, Mary. Rachel McAdams plays his love interest, who falls in love with him after time-travel ensues.
As life goes on, Tim figures out that his special ability can't save himself or those he loves from ordinary and mundane human problems.
9. P.S I Love You
The movie that led to Gerard Butler apologising for the butchering of an Irish accent; Hillary Swank plays his co-star and widow, who finds a series of messages that serve to guide her new life.
Starting on her thirtieth birthday, Holly Kennedy receives the first in a series of letters written by her late husband, designed to ease her grief and encourage her to move forward after his tragic death.
Parts of it are filmed in Ireland, with stunning scenery and endless romance from Cecelia Ahern's novel.
10. The Holiday
Normally watched at Christmas, The Holiday also serves as a perfect flick to watch on the most romantic day of the year.
It's got Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet swapping houses, it's got Los Angeles and English countryside scenery, sunshine and snow, Jack Black and Jude Law; basically everything.
Depressed and suffering from unrequited love, Iris agrees to swap homes with similarly unlucky-in-love Californian Amanda for a break. Of course, both lovelorn ladies bump into local lads and sparks fly. Utterly romantic…
11. Love, Rosie
We can't curate a list of love-themed films without including Love, Rosie.
Best pals Rosie and Alex have known each other decades, but are suddenly separated when Alex moves to America to pursue a dream.
Can their friendship survive the distance, as well as each of their own personal turbulent love stories? Tune in to see Sam Claflin and Lily Collins light up the screen.
12. Maid in Manhattan
Jennifer Lopez at her best.
The classic New York City-based flick follows a mother-of-one, Marisa Ventura, who lives in the boroughs and works as a maid in a top Manhattan hotel.
A twist of fate leads to her identity being mistaken for that of a wealthy socialite, and she meets Christopher Marshall (Ralph Fiennes), the heir to a political dynasty.
He has no idea who she really is, but the pair fall deeply in love. When her identity is revealed, their worlds couldn't be further apart. Will their love withstand?
We're in LOVE with this list, maybe we'll skip that date and just binge-watch all 11 of these in a row?
All we need is chocolate, candles and a fluffy pet to keep us warm for the perfect movie night.
Happy Valentine's Day gals, don't forget to treat yourselves.
Most researchers seem to be pretty busy with conducting medical studies and making valuable scientific discoveries for society's gain, but this latest survey really takes it to the next level.
Bloom & Wildhave worked with London Metropolitan University to undergo an experiment to figure out when the 'love hormone', AKA oxytocin, is released.
The anti-anxiety and stress reducing hormone is pretty special, the chemicals are made when you're in love, and having some KICK-ASS sex. We heart it.
The study measured how the brain reacts to receiving certain gifts, and it's led to some pretty interesting, and useful, results. We're not hugely surprised at what topped the list, they're all unreal.
Research also suggests that people in the first three stages of love reported higher oxytocin levels that last for roughly six months to a year. At a chemical level, can presents recreate this high of lovestruck heartbeats?
Scientists reported that the subjects of the study showed an average increase of 73pg/ml in the hormone oxytocin after getting chocolates, and 62pg/ml after receiving flowers. Feeling loved comes in all shapes and sizes, it would seem.
The official top five items or experiences included on the list which trumped having sex were; chocolate winning the number one spot, then flowers, food, shopping and booking a holiday.
Receiving chocolate apparently creates a high increase in oxytocin the same rise in oxytocin comes from sex, so a quick nip down to Butlers could solve your stress issues.
Flowers can spark the same feeling as love, relationships and sexy times, and a study by Havas Worldwiderevealed that 57 percent of millennials think that food is better than sex. Damn.
Retail therapy also made the list, according to the experiment. The neurologist David Linden, in his book The Compass Of Pleasure, explains that the experience of shopping triggers dopamine circuitry in the brain's mesolimbic pathway.
In plain-old-English, the mesolimbic pathway is a key part of how we experience entertainment and happiness, so having a sneaky online shop at ASOS is good for you. Thank God we have a valid excuse to do this now…
Booking a holiday is better than having some intimate. alone time with a partner, according to research. 16% of Brits claim to support this, so those Aer Lingus January sales must have had people feelin' pretty damn euphoric.
Breaking up is hard to do, and there is no other term for it other than it completely, totally sucks.
Whether you were broken up with or you had to do the breaking up, moving on can be tough no matter how the relationship met its demise.
While we may just want to bury our heads in a bucket of ice cream and vegetate in front on Netflix, there is apparently a new way to speed up the healing process of a broken heart.
According to science, there is a breakup trick that will help you get over your ex-lover much faster.
Apparently, just thinking that you are over them makes you over them. Here's how it works:
A research team from the University of Colorado Boulder ran tests on participants who had recently experienced a ‘romantic rejection,’ and half were given a placebo feel good drug to see how they coped with the feelings.
The participants were studied in a brain imaging lab while recalling details of their breakup while staring at a picture of their ex. Intense.
The half of the group which were given the 'feel good' placebo drug were more over their previous relationship than those who weren't.
So it seems that just telling yourself that you're okay is half the battle.
There are many things we’d like to forget about our teenage years; the emo phase, the streaky tan, the concealer covered lips, the cringey duck face poses and most of all- your first crush.
Whether it was the boy who lived down the street or Disney’s ‘It Boy’ of the time Zac Efron, we all had our fair share of playground and popstar crushes.
There are many we’d like to forget, especially ones whose names will forever be scribbled in the back of our geography copies.
We develop crushes from quite a young age, the average being aged 12, but we can’t help but wonder why we feel this way.
What causes the butterflies in our stomachs, the glint in our eye when we spot them in town, the feeling of frustration when we don’t hear from them and that elation when we do?
We spoke to psychologist Rachel Tomlinson about catching feels, feeling smitten and the impact it all has on our mind.
First things first, why on earth do we fall for people? We all understand just how complicated and stressful dating and relationships can be, so why does our mind crave affection like there’s no tomorrow?
“We have these feelings because humans are social creatures and we are driven to try and form relationships with other people.
“We want relationships and crave them. These relationships keep us safe, both mentally and physically and having reciprocal and positive relationships is good for our health and stress levels,” Rachel explained.
We all want to find the Harry to our Meghan, the Miley to our Liam and the Beyoncé to our Jay-Z, but it isn’t as straightforward as we wish it was.
We fret about what to wear for that first date, we panic about coming across as too eager or whether we are making a good impression.
We beat ourselves up when they don’t respond to us, we worry about winning them over or if they’re ‘the one’.
The impact it has on our mind is pretty intense at times.
“Having strong, mutually beneficial relationships (including romantic ones) make us feel good and give us a sense of social connection which is healthy. However, issues can arise when relationships end or crushes aren’t reciprocated.
“If people have recently become single or are experiencing overwhelming feelings of love and lust that aren’t returned it can result in stress, lowered immunity, poor physical and potentially exacerbate mental health issues,” she stressed.
We all want a significant other, crush or lover to feel the same as we do. We crave that attention, love and desire like a cup of coffee at 6 am on a Monday morning.
“Your brain responds to this attraction by signalling the release of chemicals: dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. These are feel-good chemicals and people can experience excitement, excess physical energy (including heart racing, sweaty palms etc) and giddy/joyful feelings,” Rachel continued.
Testosterone and oestrogen are also released and we feel lust.
This combination of chemicals gives us a rush like no other, but they can become addictive. “People often find that they crave the presence of their crush to get more of those feelings, resulting in (sometimes) quite obsessive thought patterns. Having a crush can feel as though your brain and body have been hijacked by this new love (or lust).”
It’s a natural feeling that has been built into our minds for generations and generations. Your 85-year-old granny once got butterflies at a dance in the 1950s. Your mam definitely swooned over Rob Lowe during the 1980s. Your big brother definitely shed secret tears when his childhood crush went to the debs with his best friend. Your co-worker certainly worries about what to wear on that all too important first date. The guy sitting next to you on the bus no doubt gets butterflies when bumping into his college love after years apart.
It’s a feeling we’re all going to have to get used to because as Emily Dickinson once said ‘the heart want what it wants or else it does not care.'
Well, well, well; what do we have here? A possible new flame? Give us the content we deserve.
Love Island fans are positive that Yewande Biala and George Rains are secretly dating after spotting flirty messages on each other's social media.
The pair have regularly been commenting regularly on each other's Instagram posts with suggestive replies, and we're gagging for the romance to blossom.
The 23-year-old Irish scientist posted a stunning picture of herself in a white skirt and black leggings, captioning the shot; "Where's your favourite place to go for brunch?"
22-year-old Essex builder George replied: "Whereever you are", even adding side-eye emoji. We all know what that means…
Yewande used the same emoji when she commented on a picture of George two days ago, posing next to a river in Cambridge. We see repetition, we see flirtatious banter, we see LOVE.
The pair never actually met on the show, as Yewande was dumped before the Casa Amor segment happened, which featured George. He later coupled up with Lucie but the pair never clicked.
Iain Stirling, the ITV show's commentator, made sure to make fun of George's silent demeanor and penchant for talking about snacks.
George has even left flame emojis underneath Yewande's photos, which sent fans into an absolute frenzy.
"Go for it," posted one Instagram fan. "Secure it period," added another."So are y'll dating orrrrr-." asked a third. ANSWER us, Yewande. We know you want to.
The Irish beauty had a rough time in the villa, coupling up with Danny Williams who later dumped her for Arabella Chi, who was dumped just two days later. He's now smitten with Jourdan Riane, but is it showmance? Probably. The point is: Yewande Biala deserves love.
A source said: “It’s been a publicity disaster in previous years, when couples split before their show aired or appeared to get back together just as the programmes came out."
The insider added; “Jack and Dani’s series was a perfect example last year, with everyone saying their relationship was fake.
“This year bosses want to take the heat off the contestants’ relationships, especially as it’s been such a choppy year for couples making a go of it. Instead they are focusing on winter Love Island and want to nail the casting for that series."
They continued; “Of course, they’re keeping a close eye on their couples to spot any potential for spin-off shows, but at the moment it’s certainly not looking likely.”
Most couples barely even make it to three months, and Greg and Amber have been predicted to last just 69 days by data analysts Watches2You.
She wrote: “There are SO many I love, but my absolute fave has to be Nick and Jess. I think about this kiss a lot."
Us too, Jenna. Us too.
Classic couples like Gossip Girl’s Chuck and Blair obviously made the list, alongside Brooklyn Nine Nine’s Jake and Amy
The SHEmazing team decided to share our fave TV kisses from our most beloved TV shows.
'Mine is Bill and Sookie from True Blood!
The early seasons of the show were brilliant and they were also a couple in real life – they got together while filming season one I think which is a nice added detail.'
-Jennifer McShane, Editor
'Jess and Rory's kiss in Gilmore Girls is so hyped-up – the sexual tension fizzes between them for months before it happens.
And you can see that their chemistry is real – they started dating after they met on the show, after all.'
-Aoife Loughnane, Editorial Intern
'When Rachel makes up with Ross. I think this was after the whole 'we were on a break thing'. But all of them sat down to watch an old home video of Rachel and Monica's prom.
Rachel crosses the room and kisses him romantically and we're reminded that nothing could ever come in between Ross and Rachel. I mean, they're Ross and Rachel after all.'
-Shayna Sappington, Editorial Intern
Emily and Paige from Pretty Little Liars, the journey for them both to overcome their fears about being judged for their sexuality is touching.
-Sarah Magliocco, Deputy Editor
'My fave on-screen kiss also took place in Stars Hollow. Rory and Logan's naive and intense relationship was just so endearing. The kisses shared on mornings in their apartment always made me turn to mush.'
Greg responded: "I don’t think it's in our nature to see other people. We’re both quite loyal and we’re really into each other at the moment even though it’s only early stages. So definitely we’re only seeing each other."
Amber's ex Michael Griffiths infamously cheated on her during trip to Casa Amor and broke her heart by recoupling with Joanna Chimonides.
Greg notoriously kept calling him 'Mike', which was beyond hilarious, so perhaps the comment about loyalty was a sly (deserved) dig? We love it, Greg. Go team.
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