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slytherin

Many of us have the unpleasant experience under our belt of dating an absolute snake. You know the one; the eternal f*ckboi who most likely ghosts you after slithering into your heart, who can't commit to a relationship and even cheats.

He's fluent in Parseltongue and has been a core member of the Slytherin Quidditch team for years.

His best mate is Draco Malfoy, he calls him 'Malfy' for short, and goes golfing with his dad Lucius every Saturday.

harry potter GIF

He wears Taylor Swift's snake print Reputation merch, but won't listen to her empowering tunes. He makes you pay for both of you on nights out, and flirts with your mates.

He gaslights the crap out of you, and gives double-handed compliments that are disguised as compliments.

Most likely he says he wants more space, even though you barely see him, and tries to argue that your relationship is casual instead of serious, no matter what the circumstances are.

Sounds familiar? Well, we've got some hiss-worthy revenge for you, best served cold.

slithering jack quaid GIF by Vinyl

A competition is being run by Wild Life Sydney to name their brown snakes after a douchebag ex, and requires the entrants to say why their ex best deserves it. GENIUS.

The programme also asks participants to donate to it's conservation fund, to help Australian native wildlife by funding research and education. It's a Valentine's Day treat, if you ask us.

The zoo's general manager, Mark Connolly, said that the competition could give "someone unlucky in love … something else to celebrate on Valentine’s Day this year."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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The winner gets to have a snake named after your slimy ex-conquest, and also an annual pass to visit your trashy snake in the zoo.

How adorable…the winner will be announced on Valentines Day to fit the romantic mood.

We can think of a fair few names to be put forward of men who have MAJORLY hissed us off, what about you ladies? 

Feature image: News24

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Wizards and muggles alike will absolutely ADORE these snake-tastic new makeup brushes.

Sonia Kashuk has released a collection of cosmetic utensils that even Draco Malfoy would use. 

The sleek set features 10 brushes, including a contour brush, foundation brush, eyeshadow smudger, and brow spoolie.

They are black in colour (like the soul of the Dark Lord) and have a gold gilded serpent slithering up the handle. 

Image result for sonia kashuk snake set

You can also buy a groovy brush holder separately, to keep your gorgeous Slytherin brushes organised.

The set of 10 magical brushes are pretty reasonably priced, at just 39. 

A message for the Sorting Hat: PLEASE put us in Slytherin. 

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