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relationship

Arguing with our partners is never fun, but it is, unfortunately, an inevitable part of life. Whether it's over bills or bedtimes habits or something else, a spat is bound to break out every now and then.

However, there's one three-letter word that could make those fights even worse, psychotherapist Katherine Schafler says.

And what is this terrible word? 'But'.

"Using but in a sentence generally serves to negate or distil all the positive statements you made before it," Katherine wrote in Business Insider.

For example, if your partner says 'I care about you, but I'm finding this situation really difficult', you may start to question how much they actually care for you.

She further explained that when we hear the word 'but', our brains translate it to 'here's the catch'.

Then we start to go on the defensive and shut ourselves off from possible solutions, doubting whether our partner really believes any of the positive statements they shared.

The word 'but' creates distance between ourselves and our partners, which makes finding peace difficult.

Luckily, Katherine's got an easy fix for this tricky word – and it's another one that's just three letters long!

Replace 'but' with 'and' so you can still make your points, but without implying that you are disregarding positive statements.

So here's to more 'ands', fewer 'buts', and hopefully shorter arguments!

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Have you ever wondered who you'd marry? 

What will they look like, where will they be from, and what will they do for a living? 

Well, we can't tell you for sure what they'll look like, or where they'll hail from, but we may be able to help you with the last query! 

What will they do for a living? 

Well, we had a lengthy read of research by Bloomberg Business, and apparently your job could help you to predict your future BAE. 

By scanning over US Census Bureau data covering 3.5 million households, Bloomberg created an interactive chart that shows how people are pairing up by profession.

The results are hella interesting! 

Most Creative Wedding Kiss Photos ❤ See more: http://www.weddingforward.com/creative-wedding-kiss-photos/ #weddings

Teachers

Female teachers are most likely to marry other teachers.

Male teachers are most likely to marry teachers or education administrators.

Financial analysts

Female financial analysts are most likely to marry male financial managers or female retail salespeople.

Male financial analysts are most likely to marry female teachers or male operations research analysts.

Retail salespeople

Female retail salespeople are most likely to marry male retail salespeople or female retail supervisors.

Male retail salespeople are most likely to marry female retail salespeople or male health-practitioner-support technologists and technicians.

So much knowledge – shall I continue? 

Physicians and surgeons

Female physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry male or female physicians and surgeons.

Male physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry female physicians and surgeons or male registered nurses.

Lawyers and judges

Female lawyers and judges are most likely to marry male lawyers and judges or female computer workers.

Male lawyers and judges are most likely to marry female or male lawyers and judges.

CEOs

Female CEOs are most likely to marry male CEOs or female managers.

Male CEOs are most likely to marry female teachers or male CEOs.

Marketing and sales managers

Female marketing and sales managers are most likely to marry male managers or female insurance-claims and policy-processing clerks.

Male marketing and sales managers are most likely to marry female teachers or male business-operations specialists.

If we missed your occupation, head over to Bloomberg and find out more! 

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When it comes to relationships, playing away is undoubtedly one of the most devastating things your partner can do.

Anyone who's ever been cheated on will know how utterly shit it can make you feel.

Sad, lonely, hurt and confused, you'll ask yourself if it was something you did?

Of course the answers is no, but it's hard think logically when you've been betrayed by the one person you thought would never hurt you.

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and even though it may not feel like it at the time, it'll could make you a better person in the end.

Research suggests that women could actually enjoy huge benefits after being betrayed by an unfaithful partner.

A survey of 5,705 people from 96 countries found the women tend to thrive post-cheating, mainly because they are no longer being held back by an unfaithful partner, and will invest in better relationships in the future.

According to study author, Dr Craig Morris, a woman who's been cheated on will ultimately 'win' in the long run.

“The woman who ‘loses’ her mate to another woman will go through a period of post-relationship grief and betrayal, but come out of the experience with higher mating intelligence that allows her to better detect cues in future mates that may indicate low mate value.

“Hence, in the long-term, she ‘wins.’”

The research showed that six months to a year later women display higher levels of emotional intelligence, as well as improved self-confidence.

What's more, our f*ck boy radar gets kicked up a notch, meaning we're more likely to end up with someone who'll treat us the way we deserve to be treated.

So basically, while infidelity can be absolutely devastating, it could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. 

Silver linings and all that.

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This won't come as a major surprise but dogs make you more appealing.

Fact. 

“Having a dog really says something about you,” she told NYTimes.

“It says you can care for a creature, that you can follow a schedule, get home to feed it, that you can walk it and love it and spend time with it.”

But wait, there's more!

Image result for dog and hot men gif

Match.com recently surveyed users and found that owning a pet can be a total make or break for single folk looking for love.

Nearly one-third of the 1,200 respondents admitted to being “more attracted” to the opposite sex because they had their very own doggo.

#Hereforthis!

Image result for dog and hot men gif

More than half of the respondents said they would be more inclined to date someone if they considered adopting an animal, and the majority admitted they wouldn’t pursue a relationship if that person didn’t like pets.

Too right. 

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This February, instead of swiping right on Tinder, grab a paint brush and your best mate and spend the evening sipping Prosecco, while creating your very own masterpiece. 

As part of their Craft Collective series, Galway's Tribeton is hosting a dating event with a twist: an evening of art and, hopefully, conversation! 

We all have a friend who's not right for us but may be perfect for someone else.

So, find your platonic pairing and be two of 20 men and 20 women looking for love in the luxurious surroundings of Tribeton.

Guests will be treated to a glass of Prosecco or pint of beer on arrival before checking out the talent and grabbing a seat to join the class.

As part of the ticket price, PaintClub provides all the materials required and step-by-step instructions to make your way from blank canvas to finished masterpiece by the end of the night.

Absolutely no experience is necessary, and you may just find the person of your dreams over the top of a canvas!

Located on 1-3 Merchant’s Road in Galway’s City Centre, Paint Dates @Tribeton costs just €100 per pair with the caveat that attendees must come as an opposite sex twosome

So grab a friend from the 'friend zone' and come have some fun and paint and date! For more details see www.paintclub.ie

To make a booking see www.tribeton.ie or for more information follow them on social media @tribeton.

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In case you hadn't heard, Rihanna has a new man in her life. 

The platinum-selling singer was spotted kissing and cuddling with a mystery beau in a swimming pool in Spain this week, and the internet freaked the f**** out. 

The relationship spawned the hilarious and celebratory #RihannaHasAManParty hashtag as fans fawn over Riri and her new bae.

Here are a few of the best reactions to the news: 

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First comes love, second comes marriage, third comes… you get the drift.

But what about all the stuff that comes before love? The butterflies, the awkward dates, the 'so, what are we?' discussion.

There's a whole relationship to be had before those three little words become part of the equation and saying them for the first time is a major milestone.

So, how do you know the right time to say 'I love you'?

Well, one woman recently posed the dilemma in an online forum saying: “I think my new boyfriend wants to say it but doesn’t want me to not say it back, so he seems to be saying it in a jokey way or a roundabout way recently.”

She went on to say that she and her boyfriend had been “official” for two months and they have been dating for around four or five in total.

The woman then asked others to share their experiences in an effort to get a greater understanding of her own situation.

While most people agreed you couldn't possibly fall in love with someone right off the bat, some women revealed they had done just that.

One woman told her boyfriend she loved him after “about a week or two”, and are still together 11 years later.

Another confessed her feelings after just three weeks and revealed that she and her partner have now been together for five years and are due to get married this Autumn.

She added, “There’s no magic date because each couple is unique and special and will do it at different times. Enjoy the moment when it happens.”

According to The Independent, this advice is also echoed by psychologists, with Dr Aaron Ben-Zeév explaining that there is no precise formula for the right time to say 'I love you', but rather you should say it whenever you feel it.

So, if you've been waiting for the right time to confess your feelings, we're sorry to inform you that there is none.

Do it now. Don't be afraid!

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Let's face it, there are few among us who haven't endured a woeful date.

Whether it was a blind date, a first date or 'not even sure if this is a date' date, navigating the scenario as it unfolds can be agonising at best and soul-destroying at worst.

Thankfully, Twitter knows how to own their own hideous experiences, and have no qualms about sharing them with the wider world.

And here are just some of our favourites…

Ah, now.

Of course, he was.

 
Sorry, what?

No, he did NOT.

It's important to stay informed.

 He's probably just locked in, babes.

The classic 'no offence' move. 

We can't believe it either. 

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If you think nothing of splitting a bottle of wine with your partner on a Friday night, then that could bode well for your relationship.

A new study has revealed that couples who drink together are much happier in the long term than couples where only one person drank. 

Image result for wine funny

According to the study, called Drinking Patterns Among Older Couples, the couples who didn't see eye to eye when it comes to drinking had the most arguments and unhappiness in their relationships.

The imbalance is what seems to cause most of the problems, as couples in which both people drank equally, there were less issues.

Interestingly, the study found that in couples where the woman was the one who drank while the husband stayed sober, more issues arose. 

Image result for drink kardashian

'Wives who reported drinking alcohol reported increased negative marital quality over time when husbands reported not drinking,' reads the study.

Now, that's not to say that a teetotaler can't have a strong relationship with someone who enjoys a drink, but according to the study, finding someone who has the same alcohol habits as you can make life a bit easier and your relationship a bit longer. 

Oh, and while we have you; don't forget to have your say in the inaugural SHEmazing Awards this May! It's time to vote, and you can do it right here!

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Have you ever heard a couple cooing and fawning over each other, calling one another vomit-inducing nicknames that put your lunchtime Starbucks at high risk of reappearing?

Or, are you in one of those couples, and rather than finding the nicknames heave-worthy, you find them cute AF thanks to the personal back story they symbolise?

Well, apparently now there is a scientific reason for the nicknames, and they are actually good for the relationship. 

According to the Scientific American, silly nicknames can help to create a sense of intimacy between partners.

This is backed up by a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, which describes how the development of romantic nicknames helps to establish an intimate little world where the couple are in charge of the narrative, separate from the outside world. 

'I think it's a really human, natural behaviour to take language and shape it for our own purposes. I think that's how nicknames evolve,' said Carol Bruess, author of the study. 

'We name things, we give things symbols, and over time we tend to naturally manipulate those symbols toward a certain outcome.'

So salty singletons, look away, because cutsie nicknames are here to stay. 

Oh, and while we have you; don't forget to have your say in the inaugural SHEmazing Awards this May! It's time to vote, and you can do it right here!

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Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Channing and Jenna Tatum, Kimye… we all have our favourite couples that we think are total #Goals.

But, if you've been in a long term relationship then you'll know it's not all sunshine and roses 24/7.

So, instead of giving a shout out to #CoupleGoals, we thought we'd search through Twitter for #CoupleProblems, and the outcome was pretty damn funny.

You're bound to relate to one or two (or all) of these tweets:

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Look, when it comes to the grand gestures, us Irish fall a little short.

It's far from public declarations of love we were reared, so it's no real surprise that when it comes to Valentine's Day, we tend to feel the pressure.

While we might happily slur sweet nothings into our other half's ear after a night on the tiles, choosing a card, picking a restaurant and going hell for leather in the bedroom simply because we're midway through February is just a little too much for many of us.

And here, ladies, are just five reasons why the great Irish public and Valentine's Day don't always mix.

1. We refuse to play by the rules

When it comes to love, us Irish definitely don't colour within the lines, and we'll be damned if a nappy-clad angel is going to tell us how and when we should get down and dirty with our other half.

In fact, a survey conducted by the good folk at Durex established that 23% of couples say they prefer to engage in spontaneous acts of romance rather than abiding by the tradition, and 18% admit that their partner generally doesn’t want to embrace the day.

Sounds about right to us.

2. We can spot a swizz a mile off

There are few women at SHEmazing! HQ who would thank their partner for a seven-foot teddy-bear clutching a satin heart because… well… we know a money-making scheme when we spot one.

And it turns we're not the only ones, with 70% of Irish people admitting they think Valentine’s Day has become too commercial.

We hear ya, friends.

3. We're a contrary bunch

For such a small nation, we're known the word over for our creativity (and sporadic contrariness).

Railing against lazy stereotypes and tedious cliches is our thing (when we feel like it), so it's no real surprise that 58 per cent of us refuse to join the masses and celebrate our relationships just because we've reached February 14, is it?

We'll get romantic on our own count, and nobody else's.

4. We do things in our own good time (thank you very much)

36 per cent of Irish couples surveyed admit that they shun Valentine's Day celebrations simply because there's just too much damn pressure.

And if you've ever spent time in a stuffy, over-crowded card shop on February 13, you'll know exactly what they're talking about.

Taxi!

5. We can't make up our damn minds

Despite insisting it's a money-making, pressure-filled day created to instil angst in couples the length and breadth of the country, more than half of us admit we'd still be disappointed if our partner didn't mark the day. Typical.

Do we want a dinner out? Yep. A weekend away, perhaps? Oh, you know it. And more than a little rough and tumble in the sack? Obviously.

Our advice in this case? Stock up on vino, eats and Durex treats, and have yourself a night to remember…

 

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