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quarter life crisis

Look, we all thought that by the age of 25 we would be married and living in a lavish house, spending our Sundays browsing around home stores and buying the expensive candles.

Alas, society shifted on it's arse and most of us are lucky at to have moved out of our parents house and into an overpriced box falsely given the name 'an apartment' before our 25th birthday.

So it comes as no surprise that us millennials are suffering from something that never before existed and that is 'the quarter life crisis'.

When you cop that you haven't lived up to their own expectations by a certain age, it can be crushing.

As this study shows.

More than 1,000 people aged between 23 and 39 were surveyed to see what factors they believed affected their life satisfaction.

It showed that 30 percent of married people who were going through a quarter-life crisis thought that they had settled for their other half. 

Those who blamed the pressure to get hitched in adding to their depressive state made up 17 percent and 16 percent blamed it on the pressure to get pregnant. 

 

And it found out that 2 in 3 people had experienced the quarter life crisis. 

Do you agree?

 

 

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Your work life is leaving you less than satisfied, the hangovers are getting worse by the weekend, and those plans you had to travel the world and 'find yourself' have pretty much gone out the window – in other words, you're going through a quarter-life crisis.

For years the concept of a 'life-crisis' was closely associated with 40-something-year-old men and the impulsive purchasing of over-priced sports cars, but these days it's the millennials of the world that can't quite come to terms with all of life's little decisions.

Just ask anyone between the ages of 20 -29. Trust us, no one really knows what they're doing.

According to a new study by LinkedIn, 72 per cent of young professionals will experience a quarter-life crisis just shy of their 27th birthday (26.9-years-old to be exact).

And it seems it all comes down to three major worries.

  1. Lack of job satisfaction (57 per cent)

  2. Inability to get in the property ladder (57 per cent)

  3. The pressure to find a life partner (46 per cent)

Clinical psychologist Dr Alex Fowke, says: “Nowadays, twenty-somethings are under intense pressure to get themselves onto the housing market, navigate the increasingly complex professional landscape, struggle to maintain relationships and are commonly subjected to a distorted notion of life through social media.”

Sound familiar?

The study also showed that the average quarter-life crisis lasts for 11 months.

So basically an entire year of mulling over the ways if which you've messed up your life – oh, the joys!

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Remember when we thought we'd have life sorted out the second we hit 21?

Full-time dream job (with an extortionate salary), a Carrie Bradshaw-esque apartment with seriously low rent, and a gorgeous, generous, kind, sensitive, funny, did-we-mention-gorgeous boyfriend?

Yeah, not so much. More like Friday nights where we rush home from the office to Spar's cheapest bottle of wine, hoping the WiFi's working again so we can binge-watch OITNB. Living the dream, so they say.

Irish blogger and YouTuber Orla McConnon, better known as The Orlacle, has pretty much summed up what life is like once you hit the dreaded Quarter Life Crisis. And yes, it IS a thing. 

Take a look, and prepare to identify with every… single… word.

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“My title for that period of my life would be, ‘It was the Worst of Times, It Was the Worst of Times.’ Did I mention it was the hardest time of my life?”

I hope that in ten or twenty years, I won’t look back at my twenties quite so viciously as actress Lisa Kudrow does, but it’s still refreshing to hear that us millennials are not the only ones struggling with this period of adulthood.

After years of being looked after by parents, teachers and lecturers, no-one tells you that the real world can be a difficult place to face alone. If things don’t go exactly to plan or we find ourselves floundering, it can be tough to put things in perspective and realise that our twenties are just one small part of something much bigger.

“Your whole life is ahead of you, yet you have no identity. You're kind of an adult, but you aren't really treated as an adult,” said Lisa in the same interview… and she is right. We might spend all of our teenage years dying to get out on our own and find out exactly who we are – but when it actually comes down to it, self-discovery can be a very slow process.

We have so many plans for what we’ll do when we’re finally living in the adult world. We’ll get that dream job instantly, live in a gorgeous Carrie Bradshaw-style apartment and spend every evening drinking cocktails to ease the stress of another busy but highly productive day.

If only. The reality is that we end up living from payday to payday, settling for a job that’s not QUITE what we want to be doing, getting way too drunk on the weekends and spending Sundays crippled by The Fear. Not quite living the dream, is it?

The thing is though, every adult goes through some sort of transitional period before things start slotting into place. For some it might last longer than others, but that’s all it is, a time of change. Things will start clicking, it just takes patience.

“In your twenties, you’re all about who you don’t want to be. In your thirties, you’re asking yourself who do you want to be. And in your forties, you realise you just are who you are.” Another quote inspiring some hope, this time from actress and comedian Amy Poehler.

But the truth is, we shouldn’t have to wait ten or fifteen years for things to start working in our favour. Yes, our twenties can be a difficult and confusing time, but once we are aware of that, it becomes easier to move with the tide and just take things as they come. Life’s not meant to be easy just yet.

Mad Men actress Elizabeth Moss had the right idea when she said, “Almost everyone says the same thing [to those in their twenties], which is relax, don’t worry…you should take that advice now, you know what I mean? Because in ten years, you’ll be telling yourself the same thing.”

Rather than looking back at these years a decade down the line, let’s live them now and just accept whatever is thrown at us. Our twenties might not be all smooth sailing, but that’s no reason to waste them worrying about the future.

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The post-school or post-college years can initially seem like a breeze. Sure, you have to find roommates, get a job and navigate your way through the adult world, but at least you’ve got a focus. Then suddenly your mid-twenties arrive and, just when you think you kind of have a handle on this whole “grown-up” thing, it all starts to spiral out of control.

We’re all guilty of setting unreasonable goals for ourselves, and when we realise at the age of 25 that we’re not on the way to being a millionaire, or about to get engaged to a Ryan Gosling lookalike who makes breakfast in bed every day, it can feel like we’ve failed ourselves.

The imaginary mid-twenties you rises at 8am on a Sunday with no alarm and goes for a 10k run, picking up the papers and coffee on the way home. In real life, you’re waking up mid-afternoon every weekend morning and eating cold pizza for brekkie, trying to push all thoughts of work the following day out of your head. Cue a “what on earth am I DOING with my life?” meltdown.

Don’t freak out. The quarter-life crisis might be a relatively new concept, but you’re not the first twenty-something to feel like this, and you certainly won’t be the last. Questioning how you’re living your life is pretty much a rite of passage for any adult. It might seem like your parents had it all sussed out, but remember, you’re only getting a tiny portion of their story. Ask them and you’ll probably find they weren’t so certain about how to get through their twenties, either.

Another very important thing to keep in mind is that this is just a transitional period. You might be feeling totally lost and left behind right now, but it’s amazing how fast things can change in a year.

Could your worry and anxiety be a sign that something in your life needs to change? Remember, you’re the only one who can take charge of your own life and change it for the better. If you’re feeling trapped in a job or relationship, take a step back and think about ways to change that – be it an open chat or a move in another direction.

Don’t worry if you feel like you’re always second-guessing yourself – uncertainty is normal and can even be healthy if you use it to help weigh up your options.

As twenty-somethings, we’re in that difficult period between entering adulthood and actually settling into our grown-up identities. We need to embrace this time of change and remember that – like everything else in life – this too shall pass.

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