You’ve most likely seen at least one of Vogue’s infamous make-up tutorials, celebrated for their chill, relatable vibe… NOT.
We obsess over how gorgeous models get their looks, attempt to emulate their radiant beauty and try (and fail) to copy their stunning #lewks.
The rich and famous have world-renowned make-up artists following at their heels, making sure they look their best at all times.
We, on the other hand, roll out of bed and can only pray that we manage to look semi-decent instead of the apocalyptic zombie which was passed out in bed only moments earlier…
If I can remember to put toothpaste on my toothbrush instead of moisturiser, I think I’m winning.
These celebrity gals, however, are often expected to look #RedCarpetReady 24 hours a day, which sounds exhausting, to be honest.
We decided it was time to watch these notorious Vogue Vids to study the movements and cosmetic habits of faces such as Bad Gal Riri (she doesn’t need make-up, make-up needs her), Emily Ratajkowski, Kendall Jenner and Bella Hadid to see just how relatable these ladies are.
We were inspired by the hilarious Maddison Bush, who uploaded parody version of a make-up tutorial while attempting to imitate Vogue's famous faces.
Hint: not relatable in the slightest. Not even close to it.
1. First up, Bella Hadid.
As we all know, Bella is one half of the supermodel sister duo of herself and Gigi Hadid, AKA: two of the most ridiculously stunning human beings on the planet. We actually doubt if they’re human… they look like they were made in a laboratory for beautiful people. No fair.
From the very start of these videos, it’s already hard to find anything in common with these women. They are all doing their beauty regime in unnaturally aesthetic bathrooms in luxurious hotels or mansions, whereas we’re struggling to find a mirror that isn’t covered in foundation smudge marks, or are possibly in the queue for the house bathroom for the last 35 minutes.
From the second models such as Bella face the camera, it’s difficult to choke down the fact that they aren’t wearing any make-up because they already look damn FLAWLESS.
Like, wig = snatched from the beginning. *sigh*
The videos are also alarmingly short, considering most of us take at least 15 minutes to put our faces on. The fact that famous faces only take 5 minutes to look that good is frankly both disturbing and insulting to my pale palour.
(I’ve been asked if I am anaemic countless times, I’ve just started saying yes now, it’s easier).
Bella begins by saying “models can do their own make-up too!” Good to know, Bella. Good to know. You’re very normal.
She continues by saying, “I look really tired because I’ve been travelling for two months straight.” You poor gal Bella, travelling the world in private jets and glamorous clothing must be devastating to your complexion.
So far, oh so relatable.
Bella uses concealer, a contour stick, highlighter, brow pencil, lash primer and mascara to complete her look in five minutes.
By the end of the video, she’s essentially ready for the Victoria’s Secret carpet, minus the wings. It’s offensive. *cries in poor*
Relatability level: 2/5.
2. Kendall Jenner. Also known as ‘KANDALL JANNARRR’.
She’s already using products we can’t even dream of affording without selling our organs illegally online, so the relatability factor is null from the beginning.
She claims that she “learns a lot from being on set.” Us too, Kendall. We frequent photoshoots on the reg constantly, it’s the cross we bear.
She lets us know that she eats grilled cheese sandwiches, which is comforting for roughly 4 seconds.
The Kardashian uses Estée Lauder foundation in nude, concealer, and mascara and finishes by blowing a kiss to the camera.
The fact that she hasn’t poked her eyes with a mascara brush or choked on powder yet separates this gal from reality.
My lungs still haven’t recovered from the powder incident of ’09, where my mother’s inhaler had to be used.
Relatability level: 1/5. Sorry Kendall, but your bathroom alone is next level boujee.
3. Lili Reinhart.
Our third gal is Riverdale’s gorgeous Betty Cooper herself, Lili Reinhart. We have high hopes for this one, seeing as her social media presence is all about positivity and female empowerment, as well as Cole Sprouse, AKA Coal Sprouts, Jughead Jones.
Lili also begins her video by eating food on camera, it seems to be a common ‘relatability’ tactic. This time, it’s Chinese food. She has us hooked.
She also admits from the beginning that she already has foundation on, thank God. If that was her natural complexion I think I’d have had to tell her to stay in her lane.
Lili doesn’t mention the products which she uses, which we translate to mean that we probably cannot afford them…
She uses pink eyeshadow, lip gloss, a basic nude foundation and of course, concealer and highlighter. Voila, she’s ready for her close-up.
Relatability level: 3/5. She’s the winner so far, mainly due to her Chinese wontons. They just look so tasty.
4. Emily Ratajkowski.
Ah, the notorious sexy selfie queen.We have serious doubts about the relatability level of this gal, she’s got cheekbones for days and an enviable glowing tan.
Plus she could look sexy even if she went to Coppers until 6am the night before and had an absolute ‘mare when those jägerbombs came back to haunt her. The hardest look to pull off, arguably.
She comments that “I do my own make-up for red carpets a lot”. Same, tbh…
All this girl needs is Pat McGrath lipgloss, her blush which she confesses to be addicted to, and a bit of concealer. Wait… that’s it? That’s all it takes? Seriously?
We quit. We are the weakest link, goodbye.
Relatability level: 0/5. Sorry Emily, but you took a duck-face selfie when you were done, and DIDN’T delete it or take a second take. That’s downright blasphemy in our books, we need at least 13 photos before we can find one we don’t hate.
Last, but not least, BAD GAL RIRI. An icon. A sass queen. Fenty Beauty extraordinaire, we have high hopes for this one.
From the beginning of the ten minute long gift, RiRi shows off her bubbly personality without plugging her own products at all, which is a miracle in itself.
If you haven’t tried using Fenty Beauty products, girl you are MISSING OUT. They’re flawless.
“The key to highlighter is not to be afraid, make-up is fun. It’s there to play with.” She hits the nail on the head, so many of us can find make-up intensely frustrating when we are expected to follow certain trends and look a certain way.
At the end of the day, beauty products should be used for our own enjoyment and empowerment, and if make-up doesn’t empower you, your natural beauty is all you need.
Riri claims that she learned how to contour when she gained weight and wanted to hide her ‘double chin’ and forehead, which was hugely surprising to us. Superstar celebrities have insecurities too, gals.
“The best teacher is yourself.” Say it louder for the people in the back, Rihanna. Everyone has their own unique look, individual face and preferred beauty regimens. You don’t have to look to famous people to understand your own complexion, all you need is you.
Riri relatability level: 4/5. Her personality is down-to-earth, her tips are one of a kind and her products are gold star standard.
We have to remind ourselves that these celebrities have picked up countless tips from the top make-up artists in the business, whereas we got free eyeshadows from magazines as 11-year-olds back when YouTube make-up tutorials didn’t exist (yes, there was a time, believe it or not) and gave ourselves pinkeye.
I lost count of how many allergic reactions I had to dodgy make-up after my 3827th eye infection from cheap “make-up”.
I wouldn’t even call it make-up honestly, I suspect that magazine eyeshadows were essentially homemade concoctions of flour and food dye.
Fast forward a few years, and YouTube beauty accounts have blown up across the internet, courtesy of teenagers who are DYING to know how to contour.
The word contour genuinely did not exist until recently in Ireland, we were simple folk back then.
Congratulations are in order! Supermodel Miranda Kerr and Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel have welcomed their first child together.
“Words cannot explain how happy we are to welcome our beautiful son into our family. Miranda is doing well and Flynn is excited to be a big brother. Thank you for the kind words and wishes during this very special time,” they told People.
And they choose an adorable name for their newest family member: Hart Kerr Spiegel, who was reportedly born at 11.53pm.
The couple first announced their pregnancy in November last year, saying that they “are looking forward to welcoming the newest member of their family.”
Baby Hart joins 7-year-old Flynn, Kerr's son with Orlando Bloom.
Kerr previously opened up about how she and ex-husband Orlando Bloom manage co-parenting since their split in October 2013, saying that they remained on good terms for the betterment of Flynn.
"Orlando and I are still really close so Flynn will be with his dad for a couple of days, then when I come back, he’ll be with me so that his dad can travel. He’s always either with his dad or with me."
Speaking about her relationship with Orlando in a previous interview, the model said: “We both love and care about each other and genuinely want each other to be happy… we do everything to make sure our relationship is harmonious.”
Spiegel and Kerr married in May of last year in a beautiful ceremony at their Californian home after they began dating in 2015.
It's been two months since Miranda Kerr wed Snapchat founder, Evan Spiegel, and ever since the pair met at the top of the aisle, her fans and followers have been only dying for a glimpse of the chosen gown.
And today, the 34-year-old Australian model put an official end to the suspense.
Taking to Instagram to share a series of shots from her big day, the Victoria Secret Angel looked every bit as beautiful as you would have expected.
Opening up about the design which she wore in front of 35 guests at an intimate ceremony in Los Angeles, Miranda admitted the gown exceeded her expectations.
"I think it's every girl's dream to have Dior design her wedding dress. " Miranda said during an interview with Vogue.
"I wanted a dress that fully covers you and creates a sense of mystery and purity." she added. "I've had a lot of fun with fashion, and I used to be more wild, free and bohemian. But in this period of my life, my style is more pulled back."
Australian model Miranda Kerr took to social media this evening to announce that she is now officially engaged to Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel.
The loved up star has shared a black and white photo of her impressive sparkler with her 9.5 million followers and – in a clear nod to her partner’s work – the image is overlaid with a unique cartoon Snapchat filter which shows an Evan-lookalike proposing to a Miranda illustration. Cute!
The filter includes the words “Marry Me” and the post is captioned with the message: “I said yes!”
Recent photographs may have confirmed Orlando Bloom's budding romance with Katy Perry, but what does his ex-wife Miranda Kerr make of the pairing.
According to reports today, the actor's former wife and mother to his son Flynn has only one priority in light of the new relationship.
"Flynn is what she cares about and he seems very happy every time he comes back from Orlando," a source has told E! News.
The source also revealed that the stunning model thinks that Katy is: "a really cool woman and talented singer [though] she has not had an opportunity to spend time with her."
The source also noted that the singer also seems to be getting on well with the 5-year-old.
"She has no anger towards Orlando for dating Katy.
"Orlando and Kerr communicate well about their son's well-being."
And according to a friend of Katy's, the California Girls singer is also quite enamoured with her new fella's son.
"Katy thinks Flynn is precious. Her favorite quality about Orlando is how much he loves Flynn and what a great dad he is.
"Orlando and Katy are pretty tight and seem to be getting serious as more time is spent with each other. They travel really well together. They act PDA with each other when they are around close friends and on their alone time."
The newly loved-up pair were snapped hiking while on a romatic getaway to Hawaii last week.
In what could have been another messy celeb pairing, things seem to be going smoothly for this couple.