The realities of being a recently single girl

Uncategorized

Jul 24, 2014

Being single can be amazing, but it has it's down sides too. What you think single girls do, may be very far from the truth….

1. There is Loads of Free Time To Get Cultured

Expectation:

You can finally go to The Museum Of Modern Art now.

Reality:

Watching 9 Seasons of Supernatural in 5 Days

2. We Will Go On Loads Of Dates To See What We Really Want in Men

Expectation:

There's so many to choose from.

Reality:

Install Tinder, chat for a while, they ask you for coffee, you turn off your phone and hide it under your pillow.

3. You're Group Of Friends Will Go Out For Cocktails Like Sophisticated Singletons

Expectation:

That is SUCH a Samantha thing to say!

Reality:

Our friends are degenerates. But we love them anyway!

4. This Will Be a Journey of Self Discovery

Expectation:

You will meditate, explore song lyrics and catch up on some modern poetry and theatre.

Reality:

5 hours a day scrolling through Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

5. We Will Grow More Confident in Being Alone

Expectation:

Our thoughts are so profound.

Reality:

All we can think about is food and sex.

6. Time To Start Exercising And Get Really Hot and Skinny

Expectation:

We're gonna look like a Victoria Secrets model.

Reality:

Where's my second dinner?

7. Becoming A Goddess in the Kitchen

Expectation:

Courgette pasta, home made granola, paleo banana bread. Move over Nigella.

Reality:

It’s actually cheaper to not cook. Who knew.

8. It's Time to Find An Older And Mature Man

Expectation:

These men are everywhere, and they’d be delighted to have a young hot ass like this.

Reality:

Okay, where are all the men? Seriously.

9. Being Immaculately Dressed Every Day

Expectation:

Head to toe in beautiful Zara blouses and sophisticated trousers.

Reality:

Too many fancy clothes are dry clean only.

10. Starting to Save Money To Travel

Expectation:

The world is waiting. Lets's go!

Reality:

Must buy clothes.

via our content partner C

The 10 types of people you will meet at a festival

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Jul 23, 2014

by Amber Saunders

There are always some people we encounter at festivals. And here they are:

1. The Underage Ones

These are always very easy to spot…

2. The Middle-Aged Ones

Spot these bad boys in their faded Metallica tour t-shirts from 2007, rocking out with their significant other half, loving life and hating the masses of children that surround them. They’re here purely for the music.

3. The Uber-Cool Parents

These cool rents probably live in a loft converted apartment by the cool canal district, with their one year old “Finn.” Finn is probably dressed in a striped babygro and a quirky hat, to match his parent’s quirky style. They’ve brought Finn along, so that when he’s 5, they can tell him he has already witnessed Haim live. It’ll really add to his street cred.

4. The Very Drunk Ones

Yes, pretty much everyone could be considered drunk at a festival, because pretty much everyone drinks at a day festival. However, there is a delicate balance between drunk and very drunk. Drunk is dancing, laughing, having fun. Very drunk is sneaky naggins, vomming your ring up near the main stage and spending four hours in the medical tent. That and ruining everyone’s day.

5. The High Ones

Find the high ones in the quirkiest corner of the festival. They’ll be hanging out in the techno meets house meets “you’re not hipster enough to be here” corner.

6. The Couple

There are two types of couples at a day festival. The ones who attend because they both love the line up and the ones who attend because their other half loves the line up.

7. The Fashionista

Every girl at a festival thinks that she’s going to stand out. But then we all end up looking the same…damn.

8. The Boys On Tour

The lads are here to have the time of their wee lives. They’ve kitted themselves out in River Island’s spring/summer collection. They’ve had a six pack in the house before they even left and now they’re kick-starting on the pints inside.

9. The Next Spielberg

These are the ones who, instead of watching the gig like a normal person, insist on holding their phones a meter above everyone’s head to record a fabulously shaky, screechy video that’s unlikely to make it any further than their hard drive. The point of it all is to seemingly prove to everyone that they were in fact, there. Promise.

10. The Attention Seeker

There’s usually a scattering of these about the place. They’ll be dressed in either a onesie, swimming gear, a mask, a hat bigger than the average car, a morph suit, a variety of neon shades or just fancy dress in general.

via our content partner CT

6 annoying things everyone does when the sun comes out

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Jul 23, 2014

by Amber Saunders

There are certain things that everyone does when the sun comes out – but that doesn't make them any less annoying.

1. Instagram
Lads, we all know how that yellow yoke in the sky looks, we’ve seen it on TV. And you can relax with the lens flares – your life is not a Sofia Coppola movie.

2. iPhone Screenshots
Wow, you have an iPhone. We get it. It has a cool weather app.

3. Opening Every Door and Window
This is one the mammies are guilty of. All the windows and doors are flung open with aplomb to ‘air out the house’. Excuse me, but how else do you think we survive? Air circulates. Air does not stop at a door and say: ‘Whooops! Can’t go in there!’ and go about its air-y business.

In addition, she wants to wash all of your clothes, duvets, pillows, blankets and shoes while ‘we have the weather for it.’ Your whole life is on the washing line, visible for all to see. The shame!

4. Not Wearing Deodorant
While we know it’s such a chore to douse yourself in deodorant on a normal day, when it’s sunny you need it more than ever. You mightn’t be able to smell you, but we do. And it’s a bit icky. (Advice: when it’s warm, offer a can of deodorant around like you would a packet of chewing gum. If the smelly perpetrator fobs your offer, commence obligatory ‘Ah go on, go on, go on … 'repeat as necessary.)

5. Not Wearing Suncream
You know you’re going to get sunburnt if you even look at the sun on TV, so why would you step outside without smothering yourself in sun-cream? ‘Ah, it’s not that warm, be grand.’ Well, you don’t look very ‘grand.’

6. Wearing sunglasses indoors
‘I’m sorry, I don’t usually do this, but can I have your autograph?’

via our content partner CT

14 staples you’ll find in every student’s kitchen

Jul 22, 2014

by Amber Saunders

There are some items that seem to appear as a collection in every student’s fridge. It’s like they get it as a welcome package. A tasty one.

1. Cheese
Cheese is just the most delicious thing in the world. It’s like a little taste of heaven. However cheese is not cheap and therefore it is like gold dust. Any time you go to take a few slices of that beautiful mature cheddar, the block slowly gets smaller and smaller before you’ve even taken the grater out of the cupboard. Those animals.

2. Sweet Chilli Sauce.
It doesn’t matter what you’re cooking, sweet chilli sauce goes with everything. Pasta, sandwhiches, chips, chicken. If it’s raw, burned, gone off. Sweet chilli sauce will save it.

3. Pasta
Pasta for every single meal is perfectly normal as a student. After a time, you even have your favourite type.

4. Pasta Sauce
What goes well with pasta? Tomatoe and Basil pasta sauce of course! If you’re trying to watch your diet you can get sauce with mushroom or if you’re feeling a bit wild why not some spicy pepper?

It won’t look like this…

5. Fajita Kits
Fajita kits everywhere, except that you’re too stingy to buy chicken fillets so you just use the wraps when you run out of bread, and Tom tried to eat the salsa when he was drunk. Anyone who offers to cook dinner, it’s going to be fajitas.

6. Beans and Spaghetti
If a nuclear war does ever come into fruition you are sorted with tinned goods.

7. Noodles
20 cent noodles. It’s not a question of how many do you need but how many can you carry.

8. Oranges
You had good intentions that one time and now they’re into their second phase of mould.

9. The Phantom Onion
You don’t know where it came from, you don’t know how it got into the vegetable drawer of your fridge but it did and yet no one thinks of throwing it out.

9.Mooju
This is generally in the fridge on a Friday morning after a night on the beer. Who would think that some chocolatey milkey goodness could cure what ails you but it does. It really really does. All hail Mooju.

10. Frozen Chicken Dippers
You can put them in anything, they’re great. They are what holds a meal together. 2.30am in the morning though, leave the oven alone, you are not in a position to operate heavy machinery.

11. Left Over Pizza
No one would order takeaway with you so you couldn’t get your meal over a tenner for free delivery. You do what any sane person does and buy a second pizza so you can have some saintly pepperoni for the morning to.

12. Rustlers Burgers
A college students life saver. Its a pre-made burger, bun and all that you pop into the microwave for a minute and voilà! Dinner is served!

13. Cereal
You will never see as much cereal as in a student’s house. For some it will be choco pops, for the rich it will be the original great tasting flavour of coco pops. Sadly though, no one ever thinks of buying milk and if they do, it’s more then likely left out all day.

14. Mammy Meals.
These are just the worst. Sunday evening they prance into the house on their little high horse with about 10 lunch boxes filled with lasagna’s, shepards pie and curry. These pretenders who believe they’re living the student life but they’re just big fat phoneys! What’s worse is they then take up all the freezer space with you having no place to put your prison food.

And then they have the audacity, no, the gumption to ask would anyone like to get some takeaway with their expendable cash.

via our content partner CT

13 reasons sex is the unsexiest thing ever

Relationships

Jul 22, 2014

by Amber Saunders

We’ve seen all the movies where everything is so passionate as they do the no pants dance. But thanks to editing, we never see the awkward, ‘do you have a condom?’, or trying to take of your boots at the side of the bed. There are some things about sex which are just really unsexy.

1. Hitting Your Head Against The Headboard
In a non-sexy, painful way.

2. Sweatiness In General
Think about it. After an hour at the gym, you’re hot, sweaty, dehydrated and the thought of being touched makes you want to die. That is sex!

3. Leaving Your Socks On
It’s a lose-lose situation. There is no sexy way of taking your socks off but there is nothing more disgusting then a warm, sweaty, scratchy piece of fabric caressing your leg.

4. Condoms
They are a complete necessity yet they are completely unsexy. Worth it though, in the end!

5. Dirty Talk
Dirty talk just doesn’t work. ‘What are you going to do to me’ just doesn’t have the same effect that it did in the classic, ‘Womb Raider’.

6. The Orgasm Face
It’s perfectly natural but you have no idea what you look like…it could be anything. Like this:

7. Doggy Style
It feels great but there is nothing sexy about it. The general position, the awkwardness of trying to get into that position in the first place. And in it’s simplicity, you are having sex like a dog.

8. The Willy
They just dangle there. It looks like an elephant’s trunk from behind. They’re just disgusting.

9. The Vagina
It’s just skin with a hole in it. It’s an entrance into the unknown. At some point maybe even a person will come out of it? An actual person!

10. General Undressing
It’s never like the movies. It’s incredibly awkward. Do you undress each other or just do it yourselves. If you’re wearing skinny jeans it’s just a bad time. You had to almost sling shot yourself into them and now you have to be all seductive without flailing your legs about like a washed up dolphin.

11. Trying to be Quiet
There’s nothing worse then trying to be quiet in the throws of passion. You have the same face when you’re trying to remember if you turned the oven off earlier.

12. ‘That’ Noise
You know that noise. That squelching sound. ‘Squelch’. *Shudder*

13. The Queef
A fanny fart is a woman’s worst nightmare. There’s no coming back from it. You heard it, he heard it. He’ll pretend he didn’t and carry on but the whole act of lovemaking is just ruined. Who knew some wind caught in an up draught could cause so much havoc.

via our content partner CT

17 people you will encounter on Snapchat

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Jul 22, 2014

by Amber Saunders

If you’re a Snapchat user, you might find some of these familiar.

1. People Using the Filter
Why. Why would you use the filters? Snapchat is designed for naked pictures and ugly photos of yourself. Stop it!

2. The Stranger Snapper
They added you and yet you have no clue of who they are. When they snapchat you it’s never of their face. Who is this person?

3. The Constant Snapchatter
Everything is Snapchat worthy. Everything. The sitting down watching tv snapchat. The lunch break snap chat. The funny shaped chip snapchat. They slowly grate on your nerves until there very name makes you want to kill them.

5. Long Stories
What happened in the last 24 hours that caused you to have a Snapchat story of 650 seconds?

6. Snapchats That are Too Short
Why would you make your Snapchat two seconds long? What was it?!

7. The Toilet Snapper
We mean the people who literally Snapchat their poo. Toilet selfies are a phenomenon that we would like to be stopped. Please.

8. The Non-Stop Selfies
All they do is take selfies that have no meaning whatsoever.

9. The Screenshotter
These guys. Nothing gets past them, they have screen-shotting down to a fine art. Doesn’t matter how long you’ve timed the photo, they will immortalize it.

10. The Sneaky Snapper
You’re quite happily curled up on your couch munching on your dinner in your finest sweatpants watching TV and then all of a sudden your phone goes off. Your supposed friend is trying to not pass out with laughter. You open it, yes instead of a fork going into your mouth it’s now a giant green penis. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

11. Cocktail Night People
You’re drinking some sort of pink concoction out of a glass that looks like a dildo. No way, you did not go to MacDonalds afterwards! You’re crazy!!

12. The Dick Pic
Similar to the poo picture in that we don’t want to see your willy on my phone’s screen. It doesn't matter how you try to dress it up with a pink smiley face or by giving your balls googley eyes, we promise we won’t be looking at it for long enough to see the effort you put in.

13. The Ugly Face
Just kidding, these are the best!

14. Hungover Snaps
You wake up after a night out, your mouth feels like a rat crawled in and died and your first thought was to Snapchat us to say you’re hungover? Why?

15. My Life is Fantastic, Let Me Shove it in Your Face
J1 people, Interrailing people or even just people with a better job then you. You’re not just going to ignore a Snapchat like you would a Facebook post. Watch it, watch it to the end!

16. The Drunken Snapchats
I’m sure the club is fantastic, however we are in bed. It’s also never really a great feeling when you have no idea what you sent the next day.

17. The Flirty Snapchatter
He has tried to start a relationship through Snapchat, a social medium that has less character space then twitter. Unless you use the text option but who uses that anyway? I’ll make it simple, I will not be showing you my boobs.

So maybe just leave the hilarity to these professionals…

via our content partner CT

13 of the worst things that can happen on a night out

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Jul 21, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Sometimes, nights out just don't go to plan. Here are some of the worst things that can go wrong and ruin a perfectly good night on the tiles.

1. Phone Running Out Of Battery
Forever alone…how did people do this back in the pre-mobile phone days?! It's madness.

2. Losing Your Phone/Purse/Keys
Even worse than your phone running out of battery is actually losing the stupid thing. At least if the phone runs out of battery, all it does is ruin your night. But if you lose it, that ruins your whole week. The same goes for wallets, purses and keys, as you have to find replacements for all of the cards and keys that are probably on the floor in some random night club bathroom.

3. Bumping Into Your Ex
Never a good thing, but the level at which it ruins your night is entirely dependent on what terms you ended things with them. If they were relatively good terms, then you can say a polite hello before just trying to avoid them for the rest of the night. But if things ended badly, all you can hope for is that you don’t end up in a shouting match about something that happened a year ago.

4. Spending Way Too Much Money
This might not ruin your night so much as it ruins the next morning, when you find all of the receipts in your pockets and it turns out you both a round of tequila shots. Twice. And you don’t even remember having tequila, let alone doing a round of them.

5. Getting Stuck In A Queue Anywhere
To get in. For the toilets. For the cloak room. For food. Waiting anywhere is a pain in the ass, and the later in the night it goes the more annoying it becomes, especially if all you want to do is go home.

6. Rethinking Where To Go If Someone Doesn’t Get In
This is more of a problem in the first couple of years of college, when every club seems to have a different age limit for different nights of the week. You try to sort ID's for everyone, but this inevitably doesn’t work, and you have to rack your brains for another place to go.

7. One Of Your Friends Fights With Their Other Half
There’s always that one couple who fights on every night out, and despite the fact that you try to not get involved, it still puts a dampener on the mood, and ruins everyone else’s night slightly.

8. Losing Everyone For Most Of The Night
As explained in the first point, this can happen as a result of losing your phone, but sometimes no matter how many times you text and ring people they just won’t hear their phone, and you still end up being stranded at the end of the night, alternating between walking around the club looking for people and standing in the one place hoping that they are walking around looking for you.

9. Getting Stuck Talking To Someone
Why is it that whenever you get stuck talking to someone in a club, it’s always someone you don’t really know or someone you don’t really like? And it ends up being quite an awkward conversation, but they never get that impression that it is, and continue to talk to you for the majority of your night.

10. Friend Getting Too Drunk/Kicked Out
And it’s always you who ends up having to go and look after them, comforting them in McDonald’s and eventually bringing them home, praying the entire way that they don’t get sick in the taxi.

11. You Getting Too Drunk/Kicked Out
Mixed with the general feeling of sickness is also some embarrassment, shame, and even some guilt as one of your friends is now forced to return the favour and look after you. Although this guilt doesn’t stop you being glad that they came to look after you.

12. Leaving Too Late That Your Favourite Restaurant Is Closed
So when you arrive to your favourite restaurant only to discover that it’s 5am and the place closes at 4:30am, the feeling of utter devastation is hard to describe, but is similar to finding out that McDonald’s has moved onto the breakfast menu.

13. Having To Get A Taxi On Your Own
Can happen for any number of reasons, but paying for the full fare when you know that you’d only have to pay a quarter of that if you had four of your friends with you is never enjoyable.

via our content partner CT

12 typical traits of constant worriers

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Jul 18, 2014

by Amber Saunders

It's normal to worry a little, but some of us go overboard. If you find yourself compulsively worrying, you will probably have some of these traits:

1. You find it hard to get to sleep
Your brain doesn’t switch off at night, you spend hours tossing and turning at night trying to fall asleep. You’ve had tried everything, but thoughts just keep racing through your head. You end up staying up all night watching the Breaking Bad box set again to get yourself to sleep.

2. You read way too much into your dreams
Any time you have a dream and you happen to remember it, you think that there is some deep existential meaning behind it. Usually it’s just a lot of random stuff that when it’s put together makes absolutely no sense.

3. At the smallest sign of sickness, you have to check all your symptoms online
Worriers are known hypochondriacs and when you get even the smallest dose of something, you feel like you are going to die of a fever. Times have changed and we have medicine for everything now, the worst advice you can give worriers is to check their symptoms online, it will just make them think they have loads of diseases they have never heard of.

4. You spend too much time dwelling on compliments
“What did they mean by that? ” What are they trying to say?”. You think that there is some secret code you have to unlock to find out what they really mean. Usually when someone gives you a compliment they are just being nice and they don’t actually have an alterior motive behind it.

5. Interviews are your worst nightmare
You go through every possible outcome that could happen and only spend time on the bad ones. This can put you in a very negative mindset and the worst thing you thought that would happen actually did.

6. When you hear someone laughing you actually think they’re talking about you
Not in a vain way, as in, of course they’re talking about me, but more that they’re constantly judging you in some way. You look at what you’re wearing or how your hair looks and wonder if it could be that. Their friends just told them a joke, but worriers are constantly paranoid.

7. Worrying about one small thing and then it gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day
You have one small doubt about something and then you can’t seem to shake it for the rest of the day. It constantly reappears throughout the day like a fly that won’t go away. The only relief you have is actually confronting the thing you’re worried about which is an even more daunting task.

8. You’re a first class procrastinator
One of the most clear cut signs that you’re a worrier is that you constantly procrastinate. You will put off anything and everything, just so you won’t have to deal with it straight away. You inevitably end up leaving everything until the last minute when you don’t have time to worry.

9. You act like you’re not phased by criticism, but really it eats you up inside
Someone was actually honest and they gave you constructive criticism, you act as if that you’re ok with it, but really you’re dying inside. “How could they be so right?” They’re really only making an observation, but you make out as if it’s a permanent scar on your self esteem.

10. Change is your mortal enemy
You have a routine that you stick to and anytime there is a change, is a serious spanner in the works. You don’t really deal with change well and it takes you a while to fully adjust to new surroundings.

11. Daydreaming always makes things worse
You’re not like everyone else you don’t daydream about sunshine and lollipops, you think about all the bad things that could happen to you on your way home. If it’s going to be raining and if you will make it in time for your bus, all the signs of a true worrier.

12. Even when everything is going well, you’re convinced that things will turn out pear-shaped
So you’re actually doing well and getting on in life, but you’re still convinced that somehow it’s all going to go horribly wrong. You always think that someone is going to come in an tell you that it’s all over…

via our content partner CT

10 very real fears all women have

Uncategorized

Jul 18, 2014

by Amber Saunders

There are some things in life that truly shake us ladies to the core. Many are irrational, but that makes them no less scary.

1. Being A Cat Lady Forever

Cats, cats everywhere…

2. Being An Ugly Bridesmaid

Being a bridesmaid is a catch twenty two. On the one hand, you’re flattered that someone would ask you to be their right hand woman on the biggest and most important day of their lives. On the other hand, you’re terrified that you’ll have to spend a day being photographed in the ugliest dress known to mankind, whilst the bride stands beside you in an attempt to look even more beautiful.

3. Childbirth

Oh god it’s so scary looking….agh!

4. Realising He’s Not The One

We’ve all seen the fairy tales, read the books, attended the weddings. We know that true love actually does exist, apparently. We now just need to find it and not mess up along the way. Our greatest love related fear, is doing what they all do in films and marry the first man that comes our way, only to discover that he’s really not right for you.

5. Being The Ugly Duckling

What if if we’re the ugly ducklings of the family or even worse, our friend group? What if, even though we’re aware that our family are good looking, we actually think that we ourselves, are better looking than we actually are. What if we’re totally rank? Better go and scrutinize every single picture ever taken, for definite evidence.

6. Kids

Just kids in general. They’re loud and cry a lot. Then there’s the whole issue of having to give up a large portion of your life to care for them.

7. Waking Up With Wrinkles

Ever since we’ve poked the lines on our Grandmothers face, we’ve been more than a little scared of wrinkling. Moisturise. It’s key in anti ageing, so they say. Yet, despite going to bed every night with a three inch layer of Astral on our faces, we can’t help but fear waking up with a perfectly ruled face.

8. Getting Grey Hairs

Mention balding to any man and watch the colour drain from his face. Priceless. Watch them mention grey hairs to us and you’ll pretty much get the same reaction.

9. Being Stuck In A Dead End Job Forever

We’ve all had to work crappy jobs at one stage or another. Bad money, customers you want to slap. It’s on the worst days that you being to ponder if this is all there is. What if you spend the rest of your life in this miserable, degrading job? Best not to think about that.

10. Our Metabolism Slowing Down Drastically

Now, that’s not to say that we’re completely oblivious to the effects of eating one too many Snackboxes. It’s just that after reading one too many ‘articles’ on ‘celebrities’ and their daily struggles with weight gain, that we start to wonder when we’ll have to live on a diet of baby food and fear. It’s coming…

via our content partner CT

Things that make men super awkward

Relationships

Jul 17, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Guys are simple beings really, there are things that really, really scare them. We ladies have a lot to thank for that, because most of them are our fault. #sorrynotsorry

1. Girls Crying
The single most awkward situation a guy can find himself in. Thoughts go flying through his head: Do I hug her? Do I ask her about it? Do I pat her on the head and say “there, there” over and over again?

2. Periods
They just don’t want to hear about it. Which, frankly, is offensive.

3. Big Boobs
They know the trouble they’ll be in if they look down and it takes all their concentration not to.

4. Women In General
The single biggest lie that men tell each other is how good they are with women.

5. Changing Rooms At The Gym
This one doesn’t involve the ladies, but it does involve being naked in front of other guys.

6. Being Asked Directions To Somewhere You Don’t Know
Whenever this happens, the first thing you should do is apologise and explain that you don’t know where that is. However, this rarely happens, and they try to be helpful. By the time they’ve realised that they actually can’t be any help, it’s too late and they just leave them more confused than they were before.

7. When Someone Stands Next To You At The Urinals
Men don’t like this. Especially if there are a lot of other free urinals around, apparently.

8. Another Guy Talking About Something Emotional
They aren’t like us…

9. Girls Asking About Feelings And Emotions And Stuff
Guys aren’t the emotionless robots that we’re often made out to be, but most of the time their emotions are pretty normal, and the most complicated thing they’re thinking about is what’s for dinner. But girls aren’t really ever satisfied with this response, and decide to dig deeper expecting to find another layer. Cue the awkwardness.

10. Tripping Over When You’re On Your Own
To be fair, this one is the worst for everyone.

11. When You Accidentally Touch Hands With Someone In The Street
What’s the big deal? Keep on walking, fellas.

12. Relations Asking About Your New Girlfriend
Girls don’t mind this question, we just answer normally. Guys on the other hand, get all hot and bothered.

via our content partner CT

9 totally legit reasons to be mad at your other half

Relationships

Jul 16, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Ok so, sometimes we overreact and get upset that your boyfriend clearly took the last perfect pizza slice on purpose instead of offering it to us. But these reasons are completely fair reasons to be upset with your other half. Those jerks.

1. He Didn’t Text Her Back

Seriously, how hard is it?

2. He Didn’t Ring You While He Was Drunk

They say the truth comes out when you’re drunk so if you didn’t call that means you weren’t even thinking of us. Who DID you call then, huh?!

3. He Rang You While He Was Drunk

What a di**. How dare you ring her and wake her from her slumber, to tell her that even in your deepest, drunkest states, you’re thinking about her. Absolute di**head

4. He Has 12 New Female Friends On Facebook

What the…How does one even MEET 12 people in one day?!

5. He Has Been Tagged In Photos With Hot Women

Right now, we’re thinking: “it’s a good think he’s not that great looking, because these hoes look too hot to handle.” Remove the tags now.

6. He Chose A Lads Night Over A Date Night

A lad’s night out is all well and good but at least pretend to be torn for the love of God.

7. He Called Your Friend Hot

Well why don’t you just go run off with her then you absolute d***.

8. You’re Hormonal And He’s Happy

So. Insensitive.

9. He Forgot A Momentous Occasion

Our 2 year kiss anniversary? Are you SERIOUS?! Gah.

via our content partner CT

28 things only a true best friend does

Relationships

Jul 16, 2014

by Amber Saunders

The true BFF will know exactly what to say – whether you want to hear it or not! Here are the signs you have a BFF you can truly count on.

1. They give you constructive criticism about how you dress
If they criticise your dress sense it means that they just want you looking the best you can.

2. You can call them at anytime
Whether it’s 9 in the morning or 3 o’clock at night they will always be there to talk to. Most of the time, you ring them about something stupid like how you’re going to die because of that pimple on your face. When the conversation is more serious they’re always there to listen.

3. They will always answer the phone by insulting you
When you have known each other for so long, they don’t just say hi. They have to think of the worst name imaginable to call you when they answer the phone. “Hey stink breath, what’s up assmuncher?” It’s their twisted way of saying hey buddy.

4. They know every little detail about you
They know that really you’re a junk food monster and that your favourite show is still Spongebob Squarepants. You trust them with this information and now that if you ever screw up they can blackmail you with your own secrets.

5. They know why you’re in a bad mood
They can tell if you’re having a bad day, so they know how to act when you’re in a mood. They will keep the conversation light, but every now and again they will try piss you off even more just because they know they can.

6. They always know how to raise your spirits
Sometimes it’s just them saying something really stupid that makes you crack a smile, but a lot of the time it’s just having someone to talk to that makes you feel better. If it gets your mind off things and sometimes you even forget what you were annoyed about.

7. A text from them can instantly change your mood
You immediately light up when you get a text off them. Even if it’s the most stupid thing imaginable you’re just glad that they text. You know that they’re also having the most boring day possible.

8. They stop you from doing stupid things
If you’re insanely drunk and have no controls of your actions, they will make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself.

9. Sometimes you don’t need words to communicate
When something hilarious happens and you don’t want to burst out laughing in front of everyone, you look at them and they just know.

10. They slag you when your single and when you’re in relationship
When you’re single they slag you about how lonely you are and that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then when you’re in a relationship with someone they say that you’re whipped and that you don’t spend any time with them anymore, which is probably true.

11. They put up with you blabbering on about how great your boyfriend/girlfriend is
They have to deal with you rambling on about your relationship and your loved up antics. They know that soon enough you will break up with them and you will come crawling back to them .

12. They also know when they’re not right for you
They know your type, so when someone comes along they will always tell you to find someone else. You usually say that you don’t care you and that you like them. Sooner or later you will realise just how right they were.

13. They force you to go out, because they know you need it
So you’re still broken up over your last relationship and really need to get back in the game. Your friends will aways try and get you to go out, because you have been sitting in your house moping for the last 2 months. You will always be glad that you did go out with them in the end.

14. If you’re broke, they will pay for your drinks
If you give them the excuse that you’re broke they will say that they will pay for your drinks. The best part is that you say you will pay them back, but they won’t really care if you don’t.

15. When you see each other you make faces like this

16. They only post the good photos of you on Facebook
They have all those really dodgy pictures of you when you are smashed even though they said they would delete them. They only post the good ones on social media to spare your blushes.

17. Their Snapchat is the reason you almost wet yourself
So you’re sitting on the bus minding your own business and then you see you got a new Snapchat. You got to check and try to keep it in, but you burst out laughing and everyone looks at you like your mad.

18. You can’t lie to them, because they can see through your bullshit
They know exactly when you’re lying and the reason you do as well. You have known each other for so long that you don’t even try to lie to them.

19. They ridicule your bad jokes
You say something that you think is hilarious, but they let you know straight away that it was a terrible joke. In all fairness, it’s probably a good thing, so your joke won’t bomb when you go to tell it to everyone in work.

20. They will always call you out when you mess up your words or use bad grammar
When you accidentally mess up your words or don’t pronounce a word correctly, they will always correct you. Even when you post something on Facebook, they will always be the one to put * next to a word.

21. When you haven’t seen each other in a while, you go to their house and watch horror movies
So it’s exam time and you’re really busy so you don’t get to see them much. You know though that once it’s all over you will get to hang out together, all you need is a time and a place. Everyone knows that when it’s movie night you can’t back out.

22. They will drop everything if they hear you had a bad break-up
They will always find time or make time to be with you if you’re going through a break-up. They know that some Chinese takeaway and a good comedy is the best start to getting you back on track.

23. They are always a shoulder to cry on
When things get really bad and messy they will always be there to reach out to. They will put up with your sobbing and won’t judge you because they have been there before.

24. You can always let them know about your latest illness
You obsess over stupid things about your body.They will let you know how stupid you sound, but not before they tell you that you’re going to die within the month.

26. They will always take your side
If you’re in an argument with someone they will always have your back. They will take your side, even when they don’t know what the argument is about.

27. Until they realise how stupid your argument is
Then they suddenly realise how illogical your argument is and that your coming off as stupid. They don’t say anything, they just watch as you get torn to pieces.

28. They will end up being your bridesmaid
One thing you know for sure you will have a tough time picking your bridesmaids and best men. So you just end up having them all all as your bridesmaids and or best man.

via our content partner CT

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