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It's not all cocktails and spray tans – there are some really annoying things about going on a girls night out…

1. The pressure of getting ready
While we're excited about our night out, getting ready and choosing our clothes can be SO annoying. 

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2.  Irish Weather ruining our style..literally
Quickly doing a make-up session in the back seat of the taxi before disembarking from a vehicle filled with merry girls. And of course, with the inevitabilities of Irish weather, a massive squall of wind comes and sticks your coiffured hair to your lip-gloss. This may seem trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it’s not a good look prior to making your main entrance.

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3. Do you know who I am?
Strutting up to the very top of the queue, despite there being an evident and lengthy group of punters waiting to get in. The personality drink you just indulged in at pre-drinks empowers you with the audacity to do so. However, your self- assumed celebrity status is met with the reprimanding words of the bouncer to join the queue with the rest of your peasant counterparts – ‘end of the queue love.’

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4. Toilet formalities
Straight to the toilets to be met with another large queue and some awful girls banging on the cubicle door like you’re under attack, urging you to ‘hurry up’ (okay, in reality that may be spoken with some expletives). However, you can’t hurry up because there’s about four of your mates shoved into the same cubicle having an absolute DMC. 

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5. Oh no you did not!
You’ve finally fought your way to the bar besieged by a profusion of people. Having received your drink, you turn and make for the dance floor when some girl steps on your toe. I mean it when I say there is possibly no other pain in the world quite like it. An utter sense of rage descends upon you. 

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6. Feeling like the bag lady
Being on a cheap one, or in other words being so frugal you can’t spare some change to put your coat in the cloakroom, thus you’re condemned to lugging it around for the night – effectively ruining your entire outfit and disenabling you to ooze any sense of coolness while creeping through the club. You don’t see Carrie Bradshaw bearing the burden of an anorak coat in a high-end LA nightclub do you?

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7. Hey Mister DJ!
Surely we all love some classic oldies or a good chart song, but when the same music is played on every night out, it almost drives you to drink more just to drown out the harsh reality that NEYO is playing for the sixth time in a row.

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8. Wearing heels is a workout, forget about squats!!
If a nightclub has too many unnecessary staircases, your night begins to feel more like an actual work out more than anything else. Sporting killer heels alone constitutes exercise, and this is something we females are willingly to sacrifice within reason. However, clambering the steps is potentially both dangerous and ludicrous! Elevators are key..

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If you say yes to the majority of these, we hate to tell you…you're totally in love!

1. You cant stop thinking about them
And fantasising about what it would be like if you lived with them as you make yourself a cup of tea. 

2. You’ve forgotten your ex
You hear you and your ex’s song and suddenly you realise you haven’t thought about them in weeks. Hallelujah.

3. Everything relates to them
Oh that’s their favourite coffee shop, better pick one up… Oh look, their favourite band is playing, I should get tickets… Oh there’s that person they despise, better go get my shovel.

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4. You like their quirks
That little clicking sound that comes deep within their flem cave when they sleep… Gosh that’s cute.

5. You enjoy doing mundane things, because you’re doing it with them
Ikea furniture building? Pass me the Allen key you old sailor you.

 

6. You find yourself smiling to yourself when you think about them
You know you look like a complete muppet and you don’t even care

7. You don’t notice the opposite sex (as much…)
Your friends point out the hot guy who just walked into the bar and all you have to say is ‘meh’

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8. You feel comfortable with them
Clipping your toenails in their face, that’s love.

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9. You don’t feel like going out (as much…)
You just don’t see the point in drinking to debauchery levels when you’ll just want to go home for pizza and snuggles at 1.30am

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10. You feel like planning for the future
Not marriage yet – but you’re open to discussing Easter holidays.

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11. You clicked this link… so you must be at least in the love neighbourhood
Love is knocking my friend.

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Hmm, so you've been friends for years or else it's a new friendship – but you can't help thinking she might not actually be that nice…

Here are the signs that"friend" is actually much more of a frenemy. 

1. You’re the Butt End of all her Jokes
You have become the punchline of all her jokes. Look, we all have that one friend that gets way more slagging then the rest but there has to be a limit. She goes out of her way to make sure you know exactly where your place is.

2. They Can Give It But Can’t Take It
Slagging matches are always good fun but if they only go one way then they tire easily. She is in her element when the spot light is on you but as soon as you turn it back at her, she goes into a huff and tries to make you feel guilty about making fun of her so you, in turn apologize.

3. She Always Points Out Your Faults
She knows what you’re self conscious of so she uses it to make sure you stay in your place. She’ll start the sentence with, ‘I’m not being a b**** or anything, but…’ Or ‘no offence, but..’ If there’s a ‘but’ in the sentence you know where it’s going to go.

4. Back Handed Compliments
This is pretty much used in combination with the pointing out of your faults. She compliments you, you say thanks, and then you realise what she said.

‘I love your hair like that, it really takes the attention off your nose’

‘Awe thanks, wait what?’

 

5. She’s Disappears and Reappears
When you’re together, she gets really possessive for weeks at a time. She is constantly hanging off you and wanting to spend time with you but then she’ll disappear for another month. Any plans for coffee are rarely fulfilled.

6. She’s Completely Different Around Other People
When you're alone she’s actually grand but when you are with others, she’s a different person. If you’re with people she doesn’t really know, she gets nervous and she immediately falls back on insulting you for giggles.

7. She is Constantly Changing Friend Groups
Are you the only constant friend in her social circle? She goes through friends like it’s going out of fashion. It’s never just an acquaintance. When she makes a new friend, ‘she loves this girl’. It always ends in a fight and it’s ALWAYS the other person’s fault.

8. She is Always ‘One Upping’ You
If you have a sore finger, hers is about to fall off. Have a date with a boy? Some guy just asked for her hand in marriage.

9. She Has No Problem in Ditching You
If something better comes along, she has no problem in not meeting up with you and cancelling at a minutes notice.

10. Her Friendship is Like a Favour to You
You should be honoured. Like seriously, even just to be in her presence should be enough.

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So you’ve been dumped… We’ve all been there, so the right thing to do is share our knowledge with you. Here is a step-by-step guide to getting over a break up:

1. Cry
It’s the natural thing to do, you’re going to be feeling upset so let yourself have one day of mourning and release the waterworks and then never speak of it again.

2. Eat Your Body Weight In Food
Food will always be there for you when you need it and not cheat on you with some girl in a club. Eat a lot of chocolate and pizza it really is the best medicine.

3. Don’t watch The Notebook
Or Titanic or Dirty Dancing, just don’t do it to yourself, you don’t want to go back to stage 1.

4. Go on an epic night out
Grab your friends and have a few cocktails – but be careful, you don't want to get so drunk as you cry in public!

5. Get Your Charm On
Take advantage of being single and make up for lost time.

6. Don’t Drunk Call Him
You don’t need to tell him you’re over him. Never speaking to him again will get the message across a lot better

7. Don’t Facebook stalk him
Delete/block him or hide his posts from your timeline, do whatever it takes…

8. Don’t Sleep In His Hoody
Just get rid of it, you’re not Taylor Swift.

9. Have A Girls Night (yes, again!)
Remember those friends you completely forgot about when you had a boyfriend? Yeah them, give them a call and have a girly night out and get your wing-woman skills back on, you no longer have to be the one in a relationship while everyone else is flirting with guys to get free drinks.

10. Enjoy The Single Life
You are a single pringle ready to mingle

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When it’s a night out on the tiles with the lads, there is a lot that guys usually talk about. Some of it is what you would expect from a bunch of lads, but some other stuff is what you probably wouldn’t expect to hear. From the mundane to the bizzare here are the things that guys actually talk about on a guy’s night out.

1. Quotes from every TV show and movie they know
We do this a lot, and I mean a lot, this is basically what we do most of the time.. We will take any chance to add in an Anchorman reference whenever we can or a Simpsons reference. A lot of the time we relate different situations to shows and movies because that is literally the only frame of reference we have.

2. Football
Yes, we do talk a lot about it, we usually slag each other’s teams and how bad they’re doing at the moment. We like talking about how such and such a player is terrible and how overrated they are. It’s basically just an excuse to slag each other for hours…

3. Hot Celebs
This usually changes on a weekly basis and whether it’s Jessica Alba, Cheryl Cole or Jennifer Lawrence, guys always talk about hot celebs on a night out. We usually try to come to a general consensus on one girl and if someone doesn’t  like yours, you have to argue the case for why they should like them.

4. Girlfriends
If everyone has one, then there is less need to talk about them, but if there a few single guys in the group then they have to let them in on the experience. It’s mostly all the stuff that they can’t do because they have a girlfriend and how they have way less free time than they used to. Of course the lads will always try and get them to come out more with them.

5. The money that their friend owes them
It’s not even that important if they get paid back or not, it’s the principle that they said they would pay back and they didn’t.  It usually ends up with them buying rounds to make up for it.

6. The last girl they had sex with
Because all of our friends need to know we had sex recently.

7. A lads holiday
This always comes up on a night out and even when it’s nowhere near the time to book a holiday. Ideas start floating around about where to go and of course there is always someone who says: “I don’t care as long as we get out of this sh**hole“. It ends up being left until the month before and it’s a mess trying to book the flights with Ryanair.

8. She was definitely checking me out
If a girl even looks in the same direction as a guy, they will automatically think that they were looking at him. More than likely it was them looking at their friend and they just happened to be in the same direction. For the rest of the night he will be saying how she was looking at him and for one of his mates to introduce them to her.

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9. How many girls they shifted
The number is always overly exaggerated and it’s never the amount that they say it is. They will of course always say that they were a 9 or a 10, even though they were probably a 5 at best. Most of the time you don’t really see them doing the deed so they can pretty much say they shifted as many as they want.

10. This is my tune!!
So you’re just chilling near the bar and then a song comes on, your friend comes running up to you and drags  you to the dance floor. Then you get there and find out it wasn’t the song they thought it was an now everyone has to awkwardly leaves the dance floor.

11. How old we’re getting
They see all the underage people that got in with a fake ID and realise how old we look. It’s not just girls who stress about getting old, guys have to deal with balding and grey hair, so think how we feel. Also you realise you can’t drink as much as you used to, even thought you still try to drink like you’re 16 18.

12. Private jokes that nobody else gets
Of course no group of friends would be complete without its fair share of inside jokes. If you’re out in the smoking area having the chats, an inside joke will come up and you and your mates will be dying laughing and the other person won’t have a clue what’s going on. It’s always an awkward situation when this happens on a night out.

13. Giving out about that loser who didn’t come out with the lads
There is always one or two that don’t end up coming and so of course you have to slag them because they’re not there.

14. How they’re not that drunk
"I swear man, I’m not that drunk” they say that even though they’re slurring their words and can just about stand up. 

15. Then later on… how they’re so drunk
Eventually it hits them and they say “Oh man, I’m so drunk” followed by them laughing their heads off.  

16. How hungry they are
So it’s getting near the end of the night and the drinks have stopped flowing, so the next thing you think of is food. The most obvious option is a kebab and the only thing that will make this night amazing is a kebab at the end of it.

17. I’m so tired
This always happens when it gets closer to the end, it’s even worse when one of your mates actually falls asleep in the club. If they don’t fall asleep in there they will definitely fall asleep in the taxi and then wake up and to a taxi driver giving out to them.

18. How horny they are
Cue booty-calls to that girl they know they shouldn't be calling or calling their girlfriend to see if she's still awake. She is, but she doesn't answer.  

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Otherwise known as the love of your life. You could be just waltzing through your day and then… there he is. Heart palpitations, heavy sweating and emotional warfare, this is the emotional cycle of running into your crush.

1. Internal Panic Attack Upon Sighting

The one day you don’t wash your hair right? You were not expecting to see him, and yet he’s just popped up in your life today. You pause suddenly, look around at places to hide while you figure out what you are going to do next.

2. Look At Your Phone, Avoid Eye Contact

Now that you’ve attempted to hide from your crush, the natural next step is looking at your phone. Because if he does see you, he’ll think “Oh she’s looking at her phone. She’s so busy and popular. I admire her.” Or at least we hope he does.

3. What The Hell Do I Just Do?

Time is running out! Either he is going to spot you awkwardly hiding behind that plant, or he’s going to not see you and go on with his life. But you are desperate to talk to him… aren’t you?

4. Calm down! CALM DOWN!

You feel the onset of an anxiety attack. You’re dying to talk to him! But you can barely compose yourself well enough to even come out from behind that plant! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!? Panic, so much panic.

5. DAMN! Did He See Me?

*Heart stops*

6. Can’t Look At The Ground, Then He’ll Know I’m Awkward

I was looking at everywhere else apart from you before you looked in this direction anyway.

7. PHEW! He Didn’t See Me…

Now you can now stare at him in peace.

8. Wait. Who Is He Talking To?

Is that the girl who keeps posting on his Facebook? Are they friends or? She’s too pretty to just be friends with him. He’s beautiful… they’re probably dating.

9. Sudden Onset Of Overwhelming Heartbreak

*weeps*

10. HEY!

That sounds like his voice. Was that at me?

11. OH GOD is he…he's walking over!

Act cool. 

12. OMG HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME

*Internal high-pitched screaming*

13. WTF I Am I Gonna Say!?!

Maybe he does love me and he just doesn’t want to tell me, yet.

14. No, No Something Else!

Maybe, not that, either…

15. Ok, Just Be Coooool

I can totally be cool. Born cool. So cool. OH GOD WE’RE SHARING THE SAME SPACE.

16. When You Go To Talk

Hold it together woman.

17. All You’re Thinking About When He’s Talking To You

He’s so pretty.

18. “Well I’ll Catch You Later, Nice Talking.”

That went ok right? Time to come down from the emotional roller-coaster and day dream about your babies together.

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There are some perfectly acceptable excuses for dumping your significant other, however, if those don't work – try these! 60% of the time, they work every time. 

1. You’re leaving the country
Long distance relationships just don’t work these days and you don’t have a Skype account so you should just leave it there. Lets just hope they’re not like Janice from Friends and follow you to the airport.

2. Tell Them You’re Gay
Hey, you might be – you're young you need to figure it out. 

3. You’ve Decided To Join A Convent/The Priesthood
You’re putting your faith first and becoming a nun/priest and staying together would be against God’s wishes.

Gangnam Style Nuns by Jeff Geerling

4. Your Dad Owns A Gun
If this doesn’t scare him off we don’t know what will.

5. You’re Actually Secretly Married 
Hopefully they’ll be happy for you and even buy you a belated wedding gift.

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So you've decided you're giving up on that assignment. Just for now mind. You'll go back to it…obviously. In the meantime, here are some much more interesting things you can do instead:

1. Netflix
Marc Randolph and Reed Hastings, you wonderful people! Home to many brilliant, and sadly cancelled, shows. Watching Buffy stake vampires will surely motivate you to work to your full potential too. And if the first episode doesn’t work maybe a whole season will?

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2. YouTube
Discover a YouTube vlogger you like and then go back to their first videos and watch as they go from a nobody to an internet sensation! Again this will surely motivate you to at least get the idea to do something productive.

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3. Tumblr
An unlimited haven of endless gifs! You will end up here all night, which is perfect for procrastination, although not so much for productivity. Unless you are adding to your own Tumblog, proceed with caution.

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4. Check All Your Updates
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, your emails. It’s important to stay up-to-date. No one wants to have FOMO(Fear Of Missing Out)!

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5. Organise Everything
Tidy room, tidy mind. You can’t work in a mess, right? And who says to stop at your room? There’s a reason your college store has so many different colours of highlighters; it’s to make your notes really pretty. And organising notes is kind of like studying them, right?

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6. Check In With Parents
Check in with your parents and ask them how they are. An hour phone call should be efficient enough to keep them off your back for a while. You’re always neglecting them, or at least you have in their minds…

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7. Laundry
They just don't smell as fresh as you'd like after yesterday's wash – one more won't hurt. Sure what else would you be doing?

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8. Contemplate The Meaning Of Life
Contemplate the meaning of life and whether or not is has anything to do with the number 47. Or better yet, head down to the college bar and discuss these thoughts with a fellow procrastinator over tumblers of neat whiskey because you are sophisticated intellectuals!

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9. Exercise
Horizontal running counts too. Or walking to and from the kitchen getting cups of tea.

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10. Bake/Cook something
Then Instagram your masterpiece/disaster in the kitchen! #eats #stunning #nofilter #overdone

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11. Nap
Sleep is life’s elixir. Its power should never be taken for granted. And if you went through the previous activities you probably deserve it, you little soldier you!

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12. SHEmazing!
Think of all the amazing style and beauty tips, recipes and goss you could be catching up on – perfect!

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Going to the gym just isn't for anyone – some people love it and some loathe it. Exercise is essential for our mental and physical health, we get it. 

1. Removal
Must get out of these pajamas and off the couch. We will not be succumb to this relaxation anymore. NO – I’ll go now.

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2. Dress Code
What to wear, what to wear. Queue raking through your wardrobe for 20 minutes. 

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3. Transport
If you have to get the bus there will be less of a chance you will go. If you have a car or are getting a lift it will be slightly easier. The whole way there you’re trying to procrastinate and if there’s anything you can remember you have to do instead – you will do it. No luck so far and you arrive at your destination.

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4. Arrival
Get out your gym membership card and off you go. You are starting to feel happy you have made this decision. You get to the changing room and scope out the room. This locker looks good – ah there is something in it. This one – oh it’s taken. That one – ah yes finally. You put a lock on it because no one will be taking your new iPhone. iPod out, water filled, “LET’S DO THIS!”

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5. Machine Referral
Good it isn’t too packed. "Oh God is that…it is. oh no no no no." Just hide behind behind the bodybuilders and they won't see you. 

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6. Work Out
Your warrior name is Beyoncé. Embody this determination and soldier on – you can finish this. Next stop the bike. I am an independent woman.

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7. Sweating Dilemma
You look like a tomato in a warm country – but soldier on this is HEALTH.

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8. Embarrassing Moment
Okay okay, so you did a Bridget Jones and fell off the bloody exercise bike. Not many people saw so it’s all good.

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9. Staff Encounter
“Excuse me, where is your towel?” “Oh, sorry, I must have left it at home. I completely forgot it”. “Don’t let this happen again it is unhygienic.” Eek!

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10. Finishing Line
1 more minute and you are free. 60, 59, 58, 57, 25, 10, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. YESSSS – It still counts. 

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Many people are quick to say that it's best to be single during college – but just because you're not doesn't mean you will have any less awesome of a time! Here are some benefits to having an other half while in college:

 1. Sex

Oh come on, it was always going to be number one. 
2. No Heating? No Problem

If that boiler breaks down for the 100th time this month just throw on some warm clothes and snuggle up to your other half. Heating is overrated. 

3. Guaranteed presents

Who doesn't love a good birthday/Christmas/Valentine's present? And nobody is under as much pressure to do good by you as a boyfriend. 

4. To Go Out, Or Not To Go Out? That Is The Question

We love a good night out, but at least if we opt out we can still have a nice cosy night in. How bad. 

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It wouldn’t be fair to say that all men have these misconceptions but they’re common misconceptions all the same.

1. All women are good cooks
Contrary to popular belief, women are not born with this talent. And we don’t look like this when we do cook.

 

2. Women know exactly how to wash every different kind of material
Many women just tend to take care of their clothes better and so learn this knowledge along the way. 

3. Women love eating salads
There's many men who like eating salads and many women who hate it. 

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4. All women love romantic comedies
Fact: so do guys. Stop lying. 

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5. A women will automatically want to be your girlfriend after you have sex
So offensive. You think you're the only one who enjoys sex? Think again, buddy!

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6. Women are the Antichrist when they have their period
No, you’re just incompetent half the time and our patience runs out after around 4 weeks of it.

7. Size matters
Nope. As long as you know what your doing in every other area, the size really, really does not matter.

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If you feel like that guy might be using you for booty calls, do a quick check. If most of these ring true, it may be time for you to find someone who actually appreciates you!

1. They never talk about anything personal
Conversation is very ‘top line’, you talk about the weather, a recent film, maybe even a bit of college work, but they never discuss their friends, family, past relationships or experiences.

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2. They never want to hear about your life
You can see the glazed look whenever you bring up something about your own personal life. They nod and smile but quickly chance the subject to either something about them, or sex.

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3. They never want to talk on the phone
You call, they text ‘what’s up?’

4. You only meet in places where sex could potentially happen
Cinema is off limits, ‘why not a DVD instead?’ they suggest. 

5. Every time you see each other, all you do is have sex
A movie might be put on, but the opening credits are barely finished before it’s pants off dance off.

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6. They only text you at ungodly hours
Drunken texts at times you know the club has cleared out and it’s slim pickings

7. They’re really sweet before you have sex but as soon as it’s finished, they become cold
During the foreplay it’s all ‘you’re so hot, I love your smile’, after the big finish it's all downhill. 

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8. They never sleep over or allow you to sleep over till morning
They might dance around the subject of breakfast and possibly a day date but as soon as the shows over, it’s Hailo time

9. You don’t share meals together unless it’s left over pizza
You don’t even go to get a a quick bite together, not even a McDonald's…

10. They call you names like ‘pal,’ ‘buddy’ or ‘mate’
…And initiate things like a fist pump

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11. They have casually brought up someone else they fancy or are seeing
So not on. 

12. They can be a little cold when you bump into them in public
‘Oh hey, yeah… so, I’m late for…. pizza… See ya’

Dump their sorry ass because you deserve SO much more!

via our content partner CT

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