The new Irish wedding: couples are rewriting the rules

The church, the beef or salmon, the 14-hour marathon of a reception. For a long time, the Irish wedding came in one flavour. But something has quietly shifted and if you’ve been to a wedding lately, you’ll already have noticed it.

Peter Fergus, General Manager of The Lodge at Ashford Castle and a man who has overseen more than 200 weddings during his career, says the change is now undeniable. “Couples getting married are no longer following the set formula that once was,” he says. “They’re picking and choosing what matters most to them and letting go of the rest.” Gone is the rigid itinerary. In its place: a day that actually looks and feels like the two people getting married.

The civil ceremony is having its moment

One of the biggest shifts is in ceremony type. Civil, humanist and spiritualist ceremonies — once considered the alternative option — are now neck and neck with traditional church weddings in Ireland. Peter expects civil ceremonies to overtake church weddings entirely within the next couple of years, a trend already visible in current booking patterns at The Lodge.

“Couples want more control over the setting and structure of their ceremony,” he says, “and civil ceremonies allow for that in a way traditional formats don’t always.” That doesn’t mean couples are ditching every last tradition. Many are weaving in religious or cultural touches on their own terms rather than following a prescribed script.

A beautifully styled wedding ceremony room at The Lodge.

Outdoor weddings, content creators and the Instagram effect

Despite Ireland’s famously unpredictable skies, outdoor weddings remain wildly popular. Around 70% of enquiries to The Lodge at Ashford Castle now include interest in an outdoor ceremony, with roughly 40% of couples going for it when conditions allow. The difference now is that couples aren’t leaving it to chance. A seamless indoor backup isn’t an afterthought anymore — it’s part of the plan from day one.

“When the weather works, it really works,” Peter says. “But couples are realistic. They want to know there’s a seamless plan B in place and that the day will feel just as special indoors if needed.”

Social media has reshaped expectations in a way that goes beyond just wanting nice photos. Couples are arriving with a fully formed visual brief and it’s increasingly common to hire a dedicated content creator alongside a traditional photographer. The goal isn’t just to document the day but to create something that feels considered and shareable from start to finish.

The food has genuinely got better

Ask anyone what they remember about weddings from ten or fifteen years ago and the food rarely makes the highlight reel. That’s changing. The old “beef or salmon” binary is being replaced by menus built around seasonal produce, local suppliers and a genuine sense of place.

At The Lodge at Ashford Castle, Executive Head Chef Jonathan Keane leads the approach through Wilde’s Restaurant, working with Irish producers including Andarl Farm, Velvet Cloud, St Tola Goats Cheese and Cuinneog Farmhouse. Sustainability is part of it too — Jonathan runs a zero-food-waste kitchen and couples are increasingly requesting that ethos as a feature rather than a footnote. Vegetarian and plant-based options are also on the rise, something Peter expects to become a defining part of wedding menus over the next few years.

“The menu is a huge part of the experience now,” Peter says. “Couples want a sense of where their wedding food is coming from.” Which, frankly, is exactly as it should be.

The broader picture is that couples are becoming more intentional rather than just more extravagant. Spending is shifting toward the things that actually shape how a day feels — the food, the setting, the atmosphere — rather than traditional add-ons that guests won’t remember anyway. “It’s not about doing less,” Peter says. “It’s about doing what matters and doing it well.” If the weddings we’ve been to lately are anything to go by, the new Irish wedding is shaping up to be a very good time indeed.