18 things guys talk about on a lads’ night out


When it’s a night out on the tiles with the lads, there is a lot that guys usually talk about. Some of it is what you would expect from a bunch of lads, but some other stuff is what you probably wouldn’t expect to hear. From the mundane to the bizzare here are the things that guys actually talk about on a guy’s night out.

1. Quotes from every TV show and movie they know
We do this a lot, and I mean a lot, this is basically what we do most of the time.. We will take any chance to add in an Anchorman reference whenever we can or a Simpsons reference. A lot of the time we relate different situations to shows and movies because that is literally the only frame of reference we have.

2. Football
Yes, we do talk a lot about it, we usually slag each other’s teams and how bad they’re doing at the moment. We like talking about how such and such a player is terrible and how overrated they are. It’s basically just an excuse to slag each other for hours…

3. Hot Celebs
This usually changes on a weekly basis and whether it’s Jessica Alba, Cheryl Cole or Jennifer Lawrence, guys always talk about hot celebs on a night out. We usually try to come to a general consensus on one girl and if someone doesn’t  like yours, you have to argue the case for why they should like them.

4. Girlfriends
If everyone has one, then there is less need to talk about them, but if there a few single guys in the group then they have to let them in on the experience. It’s mostly all the stuff that they can’t do because they have a girlfriend and how they have way less free time than they used to. Of course the lads will always try and get them to come out more with them.

5. The money that their friend owes them
It’s not even that important if they get paid back or not, it’s the principle that they said they would pay back and they didn’t.  It usually ends up with them buying rounds to make up for it.

6. The last girl they had sex with
Because all of our friends need to know we had sex recently.

7. A lads holiday
This always comes up on a night out and even when it’s nowhere near the time to book a holiday. Ideas start floating around about where to go and of course there is always someone who says: “I don’t care as long as we get out of this sh**hole“. It ends up being left until the month before and it’s a mess trying to book the flights with Ryanair.

8. She was definitely checking me out
If a girl even looks in the same direction as a guy, they will automatically think that they were looking at him. More than likely it was them looking at their friend and they just happened to be in the same direction. For the rest of the night he will be saying how she was looking at him and for one of his mates to introduce them to her.


9. How many girls they shifted
The number is always overly exaggerated and it’s never the amount that they say it is. They will of course always say that they were a 9 or a 10, even though they were probably a 5 at best. Most of the time you don’t really see them doing the deed so they can pretty much say they shifted as many as they want.

10. This is my tune!!
So you’re just chilling near the bar and then a song comes on, your friend comes running up to you and drags  you to the dance floor. Then you get there and find out it wasn’t the song they thought it was an now everyone has to awkwardly leaves the dance floor.

11. How old we’re getting
They see all the underage people that got in with a fake ID and realise how old we look. It’s not just girls who stress about getting old, guys have to deal with balding and grey hair, so think how we feel. Also you realise you can’t drink as much as you used to, even thought you still try to drink like you’re 16 18.

12. Private jokes that nobody else gets
Of course no group of friends would be complete without its fair share of inside jokes. If you’re out in the smoking area having the chats, an inside joke will come up and you and your mates will be dying laughing and the other person won’t have a clue what’s going on. It’s always an awkward situation when this happens on a night out.

13. Giving out about that loser who didn’t come out with the lads
There is always one or two that don’t end up coming and so of course you have to slag them because they’re not there.

14. How they’re not that drunk
"I swear man, I’m not that drunk” they say that even though they’re slurring their words and can just about stand up. 

15. Then later on… how they’re so drunk
Eventually it hits them and they say “Oh man, I’m so drunk” followed by them laughing their heads off.  

16. How hungry they are
So it’s getting near the end of the night and the drinks have stopped flowing, so the next thing you think of is food. The most obvious option is a kebab and the only thing that will make this night amazing is a kebab at the end of it.

17. I’m so tired
This always happens when it gets closer to the end, it’s even worse when one of your mates actually falls asleep in the club. If they don’t fall asleep in there they will definitely fall asleep in the taxi and then wake up and to a taxi driver giving out to them.

18. How horny they are
Cue booty-calls to that girl they know they shouldn't be calling or calling their girlfriend to see if she's still awake. She is, but she doesn't answer.  

via our content partner CT