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Christmas is here again, along with it comes the mince pies, the re-runs of ‘Love Actually’, and the question that all single women hate having to deal with:

‘So why are you still single?’

Haley Quinn, dating coach, knows 2020 might have been a bit of a wipe out for your love life (thanks Covid!)and you may be dreading returning home for your annual Christmas questioning about when you’re going to finally meet someone.

Whether you love being single, or are longing to hang up your single status, I want to give you 3 confident boosting ways you can handle this tricky seasonal question.

Why do people ask why you’re still single?

I get it: if you’ve been running an assault course of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and socially distanced dating, any question that implies you’re not trying hard enough to meet someone is aggravating. 

Remember though, when people default to this piece of small talk, they rarely mean it unkindly.

It could be that your Great Aunt doesn’t get that grilling you about that guy you ended it with 6 months ago shines an awkward light on your singleness, and well-meaning relatives may even be trying to pay you a compliment. I think every single woman has heard the old, ‘there must be guys queueing up to date you!’ a few times.

So, if someone’s put their foot in it, take a deep breath and remember, you’re better than this!

Your confidence boosting mindset

If you’re struggling with being single, and are feeling demotivated about meeting someone, the last thing you want to do is to dissect the reasons behind it! This is exactly why you need to get into a confident mindset around being single, especially if you’re flying solo through the holidays.

Once you feel 100% certain that being single is actually a great thing for you, this will mean you will be able to answer this tricky question confidently: that’s sometimes a lot easier said than done though!

To help you to get into the right mindset around being single, try using a daily affirmation. One affirmation you can use is; “Being single is my choice.”

You may feel like all the good guys have run out of stock (a bit like that Heston Blumenthal Christmas pudding) but the reality is you could find a relationship tomorrow: but that’s not good enough for you.  You want to choose to be in a relationship with someone who is a major value add to your life. Someone you’re excited to be with, not just anyone; and this is the real reason why you’re still single.

Holding out for a special connection, and not feeling the need to be in a relationship just so you’re not alone, is not only healthy, but says a lot about your self-esteem. It can be hard to always feel like this but remember, being single is always better than being trapped in the wrong relationship. Or as my grandmother always put it, “better to be left on the shelf, than locked in the wrong cupboard…”

Your confident answer to, ‘Why are you still single?’

First things first, you’re single by choice, so you don’t need to justify yourself. Whilst it can be funny to relay your biggest dating disasters from 2020, this may not help you to feel empowered about your singleness. Save the stories for a catch up with your girlfriends, and instead focus on responding confidently.

When someone asks you this question, speak up and maintain good eye contact: you will come across as a woman who is firmly in control of her own life and actions.

Avoid apologising with self-deprecating statements like, ‘I don’t know, I must be doing something to put them off!’ and start owning your singleness instead, with statements like ‘I guess no one’s impressed me enough just yet…’

If you don’t feel like relaying your recent dates to your family, this is one subject where it is okay to be aloof. Being vague can also save you having to justify yourself; so skip the details, and instead try saying, ‘Well I guess that part of my story is still being written…’

Also don’t shy away from changing topics and redirecting the conversation. Your family may not have realised that women have other things to do with their time than meet a partner! You could say, ‘Not so much on the man front, but I’ve had a lot going on, on the work front, it’s quite exciting actually….’ to give them a hint to ask you about something you’re excited to talk about.

Your dating game plan for 2021

If you ignore something you know you must do, whether it’s dishes in the sink, or a work deadline, it will feel stressful. The second you start getting a game plan together to tackle a problem within your life, it’s going to feel better. If you’re determined this is your last single Christmas, then there couldn’t be a better time to get a game plan together for 2021!

Recent research from Match.com suggests that the busiest day for online dating next year is coming up on January 3rd! So in between the sprouts and the Bailey’s, now is a great time to give your online dating profile a spring clean and get back out there.

If the thought of dating right now makes you sigh, then this is a signal to you that you need to approach dating differently, rather than give up altogether!

Getting into a happy relationship is a marathon, not a sprint, so it’s more important that you feel good along the journey, than reach the destination early. For you that could mean refocusing on meeting him in real life, taking a break from dating to focus on another project, or finally getting over that pesky ex.

What’s most important is that you date in a way that maintains your motivation levels and your self-esteem.

So don’t worry about showing up for Christmas dinner without a new partner; instead focus on spending every day next year feeling good about yourself, regardless of your relationship status.

 

Article by Haley Quinn; Hayley Quinn is a dating coach distinguished public speaker and lecturer who has appeared on TV and radio shows across the UK, USA and beyond, providing lively debate and content on love and dating. Hayley’s candid, sassy, humourous Ted X talk about love and identity has been viewed 2 million times. The popularity of her talk is a testament to her open and engaging speaking style. As well as relationships and dating, her talks cover a wide range of topics including entrepreneurialism, communication and self-confidence. She’s appeared on shows ranging from BBC News, to Celebs Go Dating, to The Apprentice and is a safe pair of hands for live TV and broadcast.

Check out Haley's website www.hayleyquinn.com!

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Wearing a bikini is something many women dread. There is so much pressure on us to look ‘perfect’ in a swimsuit. You need to have a perfectly toned tummy, a glowing tan, smooth skin and every ounce of hair should be waxed, plucked and shaved from your body.

These audacious standards are stopping so many women from having fun in the pool or swimming in the sea for fear of not looking ‘right’, but Stacey Solomon is here to empower us with oodles of body positivity. 

The mum has been praised for sharing a natural photo of her body and she looks sensational.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Stacey Solomon (@staceysolomon) on

Stacey was at swimming lessons with her baby boy Rex when the gorgeous photo was taken. The mum looked as happy as ever as she cuddled up to her little water baby.

The Loose Women panellist donned a striped black and white bikini for the classes and we adore how body positive she is.

And we weren’t the only ones.

Hundreds of followers took to the comments to express their love and gratitude for Stacey.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Stacey Solomon (@staceysolomon) on

“I wish I had the balls to rock a bikini with my mama tummy like you do, you look great and he's so cute,” one wrote.

Another shared, “What a natural photo. Beautiful inside and out.”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Stacey Solomon (@staceysolomon) on

“You’re such an inspiration to women. Just be confident exactly as they are in that very moment… Beautiful mother inside and out.”

One shared, “You look absolutely amazing and just such an inspiration for young girls these days.”

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Hailey Bieber has anxieties, just like the rest of us.

The model and new wifey to Justin Bieber himself opened up to her fans via her Instagram account last night, vowing to get far more open about her troubles online.

"Stepping into 2019 I want to be more open, I want to be more open about the things I struggle with, and be able to be more vulnerable," she described in the post, below.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

"I’m a 22 years old, and the truth is no matter how amazing life may look from the outside I struggle…"

Battles with confidence appear to be a daily dilemma for young women, with society continuously placing pressure to look perfect on their shoulders.

"I’m insecure, I’m fragile, I’m hurting, I have fears, I have doubts, I have anxiety, I get sad, I get angry," she continued. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

Hailey's honesty revolves around her self-esteem, describing how every single day is a "confidence battle";

"I have had more days than I can count where I’ve found myself scrolling through Instagram comparing myself, comparing my looks, feeling like I’m not good enough feeling like I lack so many things and really struggling to be confident in who I am because I constantly feel like I’m just not good enough." 

"I'm a human.. I'm a young woman, I'm learning who I am and, it's REALLY FREAKING HARD. It's hard finding who you are, but what's even harder is being picked apart and compared to other women while trying to do that," she opined.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

Hailey explained at the conclusion of her post that she's not "writing this for a pity party," rather for her fans to see their own beauty inside and out.

"It would be incredible if other young girls and women could find it in themselves to lift each other up, to stop making other women who are struggling JUST LIKE THEM, feel incompetent and less than," she asked for her fans to see the positive side.

"We ALL have flaws, and that will never change. What I do know is, God made us individuals for a reason, with our own beauty, our own personalities, and our own story because there's a specific plan and purpose for each and every human created and he makes no mistakes!!"

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

The famous model has taken social media breaks before, as well as opening up about the difficulties of Instagram negativity and trolling;

"Whenever I take breaks from it I feel so much better so much happy as a person.. the second I come back on I get immediate anxiety, I get sad and I get worked up," she typed in one of the images.

The constant media attention and focus on her appearance unsurprisingly takes its toll.

"The negativity screams so loud."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

Baldwin has spoken about the impact of social media on her relationship to Sorry singer Justin Bieber;

 "It's hard to focus on your well being and mental health when each time you open Instagram someone is tearing apart your job, or your relationship or essentially any of the things in your life that are positive."

She finished, "I won't let people make me feel like I'm doing something wrong by enjoying my life and being happy."

You go girl, everyone deserves to feel confident and positive in their own skin, no matter how big a celebrity they are.

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Love Island’s Megan has opened up about her decision to have plastic surgery. The reality star has defended herself in an honest interview with Cosmopolitan UK.

She admitted that she didn’t get the procedures done to impress others, but for a much more empowering reason.

The former glamour model urged people to be less negative about plastic surgery, admitting she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with it.

“I think if you want to do something to make yourself more comfortable, then why not?” she said.

The 24-year-old stressed that she doesn’t consider herself a role model. “I did it for me and no-one else.”

Megan revealed that she has had a huge amount of procedures done in her life so far: "I got a boob job at 19, and had another one when I got older and had more money to upgrade the surgeon! And I had my nose done and my lips filled. And the teeth.”

The Love Island contestant said she has nothing to be ashamed of. She got those procedures done simply to boost her confidence: “I've done what I’ve done because it made me me feel confident and comfortable.”

Megan argued that society has no problem with women going to the hairdressers, nail salon or beauticians to boost their confidence, so what is wrong with her getting a procedure that makes her feel good about herself.

“I get my lips done because I feel better, it doesn’t have to be a massive deal,” she shared.

Megan came in fourth place in the Love Island finale on Monday night.

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Riverdale star Lili Reinhart has responded to pregnancy rumours with an empowering message about body image.

Rumours have been circulating that the actress was expecting after a candid snap of her was shared online.

The 21-year-old was extremely disheartened by the rumours and asked fans to remember that nobody is perfect.

 

 

A post shared by Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) on

Taking to her Instagram stories, the actress penned a touching message about accepting your body. She wrote, “It’s unfortunate that one unflattering photo of my stomach circulating the internet caused hundreds of people to think that I’m pregnant.”

The actress had to confirm that she was definitely not expecting a baby. “This is just my body. And sometimes I’m bloated. Sometimes an unflattering photo is taken of me.”

She added: “Sometimes I go through periods of time where I gain weight.”

 

 

A post shared by Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) on

Lili went on to say that she will never ever apologise for how her body looks- and we couldn’t agree more. No woman should have to say sorry for being a little bit bloated or be scrutinised for how they look.

“My body will constantly go through change, and so will yours. And that’s fine,” she expressed.

She told fans not to put so much time and effort into caring about a stranger’s figure.

Today, women are under more and more pressure to look ‘perfect’. Society expects us to look a certain way but it’s important to listen to Lili’s message. Every single body is different and that is perfectly fine.

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Confidence is one of the best tricks to rocking any look. Even the queen of the selfie Kim Kardashian revealed it's one of her favourite beauty secrets.

But when does our body confidence peak? 

A recent poll, conducted by Healthspan Nurture Replenish, asked women 50 and older at what age they felt most confident in their appearance.

 

A post shared by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on

The answer? Around 33. So hey – 33-year-olds Katy Perry, Khloe Kardashian, and Scarlett Johansson are KILLING it!

The reason that 33 is the magic number, many of the women said, was because they felt they were at a good weight and their stomachs were fairly toned.

The women polled also said that being wrinkle-free with fewer grey hairs helped as well!

62 percent of respondents said that weight gain was the most likely cause of their confidence dropping, with their hair and teeth's appearance also factoring in.

A bad hair day can definitely start you off on the wrong foot, the survey found.

More than six out of every 10 women polled admitted that a bad hair day can really dent their confidence.

Dr Megan Arroll, psychologist and co-author of The Menopause Maze, spoke to Closer about the findings of the survey.

'When we feel more self-assured, we’re more likely to engage in self-care activities which can directly affect our appearance (i.e. taking good care of our teeth, skin and hair), which then acts as a loop as we feel our best and most confident,' she noted.

'Hence, boosting confidence from within is a powerful tool for long-term health – on the inside and out.'

Hopefully the women polled gain some confidence in themselves, and learn to love their bodies without focusing so much on weight. 

If you're feeling like down about your appearance, we can point you in the direction of the body confidence movement, where embracing yourself exactly as you are, toned stomach or not, it the order of the day, every day. 

So, whether we feel like we need a time machine to go back to 33 or you're afraid of peaking soon, let's all take care of ourselves!

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Body-confidence coach, Michelle Elman, is the positive force we all need in our lives. The 23-year-old runs the successful mindsetforlifeltd Instagram account and is always on hand to provide her followers with encouragement and advice. 

According to Cosmopolitan Michelle was only 11-years-old when she began to struggle with her self-esteem after she becoming acutely aware of her larger size. Around this time Michelle also suffered from various health problems which resulted in scarring and caused her weight to balloon.

 

WHY I AM IN BODY POSITIVITY – I worried more about my head being shaved than a brain surgery – I worried more about the scar that was created in a 12 hour surgery than whether I would survive that surgery – I worried about having a permanent bald patch on my head more than I did about the fact I had a brain tumour – I worried about weight gain when I started eating after 3 months, rather than celebrating the fact that I was recovered enough to let food pass my lips – I worried about my hair falling out from the multiple surgeries more than I worried about the effect of that anaesthesia on my body – I worried about how slow I was running instead of being grateful for my ability to move – I worried more about what people would say about my body than the fact that my body still worked – I worried more about not being treated like a "weirdo" than processing my emotions – I worried if my body would be the deciding factor to not date me than the fact that the person I date must be there to support my illnesses too – I worried more about the stigma of mental and physical illness more than I worried about myself AND MOST OF ALL… I am in body positivity because each sentence above was written in the past tense and that is only possible because of body positivity. My body positivity is intrinsically linked to my hospital experiences. Every serious incident came with superficial worries about the consequence on my appearance. Every day when I should have been thinking about very real life or death situations, I instead worried about what I looked like. It's why I continue to embrace my scars and why they symbolise more than the physical marks on my body. In every sense of the word, I am Scarred Not Scared #scarrednotscared

A post shared by Michelle Elman (@mindsetforlifeltd) on

By the time she was 15, the blogger decided to ditch the ’fat friend’ stereotype and learned to love her body.

But an incident last year caused Michelle’s size insecurities to return after a mate of hers suggested that she was too heavy to go after the guy she liked.

 

TODAY IS MIRROR APPRECIATION DAY. Ok fine, that isn't a thing but can it be pleassseee? I was scrolling through my phone and found a few selfies and it made me realise how long it's been since I hated my reflection. It's been a bloody long time since I used a mirror as a weapon. It's been years since I was that girl who used them to check for weight gain, pulling at my skin, yanking my hips wishing they would disappear. That girl deserved so much love and I'm so happy that I can give it to her now. I now kinda love mirrors, in a way that it's like seeing an old friend. Whether I'm in the most skin tight outfit I've ever worn whilst trying on skiing thermals or I'm in a sports bra and sweating it out, or completely naked (no picture for this one! ), I'll welcome my reflection any day because I'm ok with saying hi to me. There was a point where I would shy away from mirrors but now I'm in love. I look in the mirror and I see my life. I look at my body and this mother instinct perks up because I'm seriously protective of this body. This body has been through enough and I'm so proud of it for getting us through everything. So today is mirror appreciation day. Thank you for letting me see my smile, my emotions, my body. Thank you for reminding me where I come from with parts of my culture coming through. Thank you for helping me see my Chinese eyes that used to get mimicked, as beautiful. Thank you for helping me realise when they get small, I'm usually grinning my biggest grin and that's what's important. Thank you for helping me see my British unruly hair that used to get me in trouble at school, as beautiful. Thank you for helping me realise that it is symbolic of my personality, as opposed to something that needs to be tamed. Thank you for helping me see my Jewish bum and hips that I was told "would at least be good for childbearing", as beautiful. Thank you for helping me be proud of having my grandma's curves and realising that childbearing wasn't the only positive to having this figure. Thank you to all mirrors everywhere for helping me get to know my body because as my phone case says it makes me SO FUCKING happy #scarrednotscared

A post shared by Michelle Elman (@mindsetforlifeltd) on

 

Obviously, Michelle swiftly dropped this ‘friend’ and decided to never let her weight stop her from doing the things she loved.

Michelle says "Body positivity at its best is not caring about what your body looks like and not letting your body be the reason to stop you from living your life".

 

 

There's a stereotype around being the "fat girl" in a friendship group. She's the one who sits on the sidelines and never joins in. She's the one perpetually single and sits silently while all her friends discuss their love life because god forbid, if she actually find a boyfriend, she would never be comfortable naked or in the bedroom. She's the insecure one, the one constantly complaining about her body and talking about diets. I couldn't call bullshit more on this stereotype. Since the age of 11, I have always been the "fat" friend but I have never been THAT girl. Even with all my insecurities around my scars, and my body in general, I was never the girl who sat inside – I refused to because of my pride and ego and my surgeries never let me be the person who missed out on life. The difference between now and then is that there's no hesitation, there are no second thoughts and when my friend suggested jumping in the Fjord, I was all "Hell yeah!". Before I would have said yes reluctantly, spent the time hiding as much of my body as possible until the last moment, definitely worn a top and definitely wouldn't have taken photos, let alone been in them. Now, I'm the one suggesting photos, I was the first to whip off my top and the thought that my body was different wasn't there. The fact that I know many girls, fat or skinny, would miss out on opportunities like this is what fuels my body positivity. Body positivity isn't about being able to take underwear selfies, it's about not letting your underwear or your swimsuit be the reason you aren't taking part. And ultimately when you are around the right people, you won't EVER feel like the "fat friend". I don't look at these pictures and see me as the odd one out. I look at the pictures and see the memories and the three bodies that we had fun in! #ScarredNotScared Swipe for a video of me high pitch screaming as I jump in!

A post shared by Michelle Elman (@mindsetforlifeltd) on

In the post she encourages people to embrace their bodies, make memories and surround themselves with positive people!  

She writes, ‘’And ultimately when you are around the right people, you won't EVER feel like the "fat friend". I don't look at these pictures and see me as the odd one out. I look at the pictures and see the memories and the three bodies that we had fun in! #ScarredNotScared’’

That's definitely a message we can get on board with! 

 

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As anyone who's ever shared a makeup free selfie will know, going into our image obsessed world barefaced can be a terrifying experience.  So can you imagine how must courage it must take for someone with a noticeable skin condition to expose themselves online?

This is the challenge former model Breanne Rice faced when she decided to make public a picture of her natural face after spending 12 years covering up her skin with thick makeup.

At 19 Breanne was diagnosed with vitiligo – an autoimmune disorder which causes skin colour to be lost in blotches – after she woke up one morning with a new white mark on her normally sallow face.  Over time that mark developed into numerous pale patches which left Breanne feeling self-conscious about her appearance.

 

 

At 19, I was diagnosed with vitiligo, and it spread rapidly causing me to lose over half of the pigment on my face. Yeah. Not the bottom of my foot or my arm..but ONLY on my face. I got really good at doing my makeup, and I didn't want anyone to know about it. I couldn't look in the mirror without crying, and feeling unattractive. When I am exposed to the sun, it tans my healthy skin and leaves my vitiligo even more noticeable. It's taken me a very long time to be able to go public with this, and to walk around publicly without any makeup. Why? Because it's my face. Although I would like to say I am super confident and it never gets to me, sometimes it does. Some days people make comments saying "what happened to your face?!" Sometimes if I have a crush on someone I am worried about them seeing me without makeup and worry that they won't think I'm cute. It's like ohh hey by the way..this is the real me underneath all this. You know what though, I own it. There's not much I can do about it. I can only love myself, and not let my circumstances define my value or self-worth. What is the definition of beautiful anyway? Is it being perfect? What do you see when you look in the mirror? Perhaps you have a circumstance or something about yourself that you are insecure about. Don't let it define you. You deserve love, and you are beautiful  #vitiligo #beauty #perfect #seattle #health #holistic #nutrition #inspire #encourage #love #selfworth #loveyourself #digestion #autoimmune #vitiligoselfie #vitiligolove #vitiligobeauties #healing #healthyskin #skin #pigment #inspiring #inspirational #vitiligo #love #selflove #beauty

A photo posted by BreanneRice (@breannerice) on

 

But in March this year the nutritional therapist decided she had had enough of covering up and, in a bid to help others regain their confidence, Breanne took to Instagram to share her story.

In a barefaced post which has since gone viral, Breanne wrote: “At 19, I was diagnosed with vitiligo, and it spread rapidly causing me to lose over half of the pigment on my face.”

“I got really good at doing my makeup, and I didn't want anyone to know about it. I couldn't look in the mirror without crying, and feeling unattractive.”

 

 

“It's taken me a very long time to be able to go public with this, and to walk around publicly without any makeup. Why? Because it's my face. Although I would like to say I am super confident and it never gets to me, sometimes it does.”

“Some days people make comments saying ‘what happened to your face?!’ Sometimes if I have a crush on someone I am worried about them seeing me without makeup and worry that they won't think I'm cute.”

“You know what though, I own it. There's not much I can do about it. I can only love myself, and not let my circumstances define my value or self-worth. What is the definition of beautiful anyway?” 

 

 

@highsnobiety #sneakpeak

A photo posted by Winnie (@winnieharlow) on

In 2014 model Winnie Harlow rose to fame when she competed in American’s Next Top Model.  The 21-year-old has since used her position in the public eye to speak about her own experience with vitiligo.

We love how these women are using their own stories to expand the definition of beauty for everyone.

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It's safe to say inner beauty is something most of us struggle with in Ireland.

Yes, we have good days and bad days, and sometimes our inner voice speaks louder than anything else.

So, we caught up with Roz Purcell, the new ambassador for IMEDEEN skin care, to see how she keeps on top of her healthy glow and her inner confidence.

When asked about her skin care routine, Roz believes that it's a round-the-clock job and something you need to keep in check.

"Skin is something that's 24/7 and that just comes from drinking water all day. Obviously I eat really clean, 80% of the time, and I just make sure I'm eating foods that won't spike any outbreaks."

Being the foodie wonder that she is, Roz knows that you sometimes have to avoid certain foods in order to work towards a healthy complexion.

"It's more that I try to avoid processed sugars and processed food in general but sugar is something that definitely spikes any sort of outbreak."

"Obviously I eat a lot of natural sugars and a lot of the stuff I make is nut based, which I try to stick to during the week."

Sometimes, however, you can't avoid an outbreak, which means our confidence might take a hit. But fear not; Roz believes that a few simple little tricks will give you enough of a boost to get you through a bad day.

"For example, if I'm having a bad skin day, my hair is on point and likewise if I'm having a bad hair day, my skin is on point, so you kind of compensate one for the other."

"I think when your skin has an eruption, which happens to all of us, it's worse when you try to cover it loads. It's important your skin breathes and I guess just try to drink as much water as you can."

These day, many of us are trying to tone down our make-up as we learn about letting our skin breathe, but it's often easier said than done.

"If you look at my photos from like, five years ago, I totally layered on the make-up and my hair was huge; so, it's taken me a while to tone it down.

"Make-up is there to enhance your features, not cover them up. You want someone to tell you, 'Oh, you look gorgeous today' not, 'Oh, your make-up is fab today'."

"It took me a number of years and getting to know my face a lot, but you'll get there eventually, it's all about trial and error."

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Actress Amanda Seyfried fits the Hollywood norm – she’s a tall, slim blonde with a stunning face and great style. But she recently opened up about the struggles she faced – and still faces – to stay thin enough to satisfy movie bosses.

“Fun fact: I almost lost out on several roles in my career because I was overweight. Wrong, America,” wrote the 28-year-old on Twitter earlier this month. While it’s clear to see that the Mamma Mia star is nowhere near overweight, it’s sadly not a shock to hear that she, or any actress, was turned down for a role because they weren’t rake thin.

Hollywood’s ideals of beauty are something that not only affect the elite big screen names. The pressure to fit into a certain slim and “beautiful” mould is something that has filtered through to everyone else, too.

Each time we open a magazine or turn on the TV we are greeted with images of bodies that are so far removed from what is actually normal that we constantly feel inferior and as if we can never compete. Stars like Lena Dunham and Christina Hendricks are celebrated for having curves – but they are simply the exception to the rule that being thin is the aim of the game. This Victoria's Secret ad caused huge controversy recently for suggesting that the "perfect body" could only belong to a size zero lingerie model:

Another huge misconception we need to deal with is the belief that not only are all those Hollywood stars thin, but that it takes no effort whatsoever for them. It’s just the product of good genes, not the result of a hugely restrictive diet and an exhausting exercise regime.

Amanda has spoken openly about what it takes to keep her figure red carpet worthy – but she seems to be one of few. In a 2010 interview, the star said she felt overwhelming pressure to stay slim.

“If I didn't run and work out, there's no way I would be this thin," she said to Glamour magazine. "But I have to stay in shape because I'm an actress. It's f**ked up and it's twisted, but I wouldn't get the roles otherwise.”

In another interview that same year with Esquire, the actress admitted her diet for Les Miserables was “intense” and “awful,” adding that her lunch that day had consisted of “Spinach. Just spinach. Spinach and some seeds."

While it’s great to hear someone speaking honestly about the pressures of being in the media spotlight, it’s sad that the issues are generally brushed under the carpet by others. There’s no shame in going to the gym, or denying yourself that bar of chocolate. However many celebrities prefer to pretend their incredible bodies are down to a combination of fast metabolisms and good luck, as if by being famous they suddenly become blessed with the power to stay effortlessly toned and lean.

Society’s view of what is beautiful might change someday, but it won’t be any time soon. In the meantime it would be great if there was at least some more honesty out there – so that the rest of us know we’re not the only ones who worry every so often about what we see in the mirror.

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Do you stare in the mirror imagining your face with straighter teeth, a different nose, clearer skin? Well, stop. It’s time we learned to love our imperfections, and here’s why:

They make us human
Nobody is perfect. Trust us. We bet even Cheryl Cole is hiding something – possibly under that massive rose tattoo. Imperfections are what make us human – would you really want to be walking around like a Barbie doll? Quite frankly, that’s just creepy.

They make us unique
So what if you’re the only one in your group of friends with a five finger forehead? Do you really want to be a carbon copy of your friends? Learn to work your imperfections – they’re what make you, you!

They connect us to our family!
Do people know you’re an O’Brien because of the bump in your nose? Would you really want to get rid of that distinctive feature? Plus, it’s nice to resemble your family – it makes us feel more part of a group!

Because striving for perfection is a waste
Perfection is impossible, so even if you straighten your teeth, dye your hair and lose that excess weight, you’ll probably still find things you want to change. You’re better off investing in your confidence instead – it’ll last longer, and be more beneficial!

Because what you think is an imperfection, could be someone else’s favourite thing about you.
Hate your legs? Or your hair? Well, that could be the very thing that someone else loves you for. So give yourself a break ok? It’s time to love yourself, warts and all!

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Australia’s Women’s Weekly has made a change from the typical cover girl that graces their magazine and instead featured burn victim Turia Pitt.

Three years ago, when Turia was competing in an ultra-marathon in Western Australia, she got caught in a bush fire. She suffered 65% burns to her body, lost all her fingers on her right hand, has had over 100 surgeries and spent more than 864 days in hospital – but she has never let it get her down and continues to inspire others.

The 26-year-old, who is now a motivational speaker says that being on the cover of the magazine “is a huge honour”.

“For me, it sends the message that confidence equals beauty. There are a lot of women out there who are so beautiful but don’t have the confidence, and that’s what gets you over the line.”

Wow, what an incredible woman and such an inspiration to anyone who is lacking in beauty confidence.

womens_weekly

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