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Yearly Archives: 2014

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Did you ever write an angsty poem as a teenager, and then read back on it in years to come and cringe? If so, you’ll feel sorry for these celebs, who had their bad poetry published for the world to see.

Luckily for us though, it gives us something to laugh at on Bad Poetry Day (which is today, by the way!). Check out these awful, awful poems by some of our favourite celebs!

Jennifer Aniston
We LOVE Jennifer Aniston. She’s just so cool – but not too cool to write an embarrassing poem when she was feeling the love for her then boyfriend John Mayer:

“Lucky in love, lucky in love
Didn’t forget me when I asked you to leave me
Didn’t forget me
Now you’re alongside me
You’ve brought luck to love
I’ve been hit by a truck in love.”

John actually turned the poem into a song as a present to the star, which is nice, especially considering he’s such a womaniser. We’d love to see what poems she’s written for Justin!

Charlie Sheen
Before this actor spent all his money on prostitutes and booze, he was a poet. An angry, angry poet by the looks of it:

Pamela Anderson
Hey, she’s more than just a pretty face ya know? She’s also a really bad poet. Check out this poem which was next to her eight-page nude pictorial in Playboy, entitled: Musings From the Bed of Pamela.

“The youth… The wild that rose up from the ashes. The adults… Living and dead that fought for our rights… Artists… Sweet artists… Hold on… Crazy, the world goes on… And goes…”

Britney Spears
When Britney was in the midst of her break up from Kevin Federline in 2007, she wrote a poem called ‘Remembrance Of Who I Am’. It’s not great, but it does rhyme. Actually kind of sounds like it could be one of her songs, no?

“The guilt you fed me
Made me weak.
The voodoo you did
I couldn’t speak.

You’re awakening
The phone is ringing.
Resurrection of my soul
The fear I’m bringing.

What will you say
And what will you do?
She’s not the same person that you’re used to.

You trick me once, twice, now it’s three.
Look who’s smiling now
Damn, it’s good to be me!”

James Franco
When Barack Obama was being inaugurated for the second time, Yahoo commissioned a few Pulitzer Prize-winning poets, and James Franco, to write about the occasion. James went one step further and recorded this video of him doing a reading of his poem, and he’s looking suspiciously relaxed. We’re not sure Obama would have been too impressed with this one!

 

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It’s one of the most memorable scenes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and Will Smith clearly still knows his moves!

The singer delighted fans recently when he turned up to a pool party in Las Vegas with his friend Jazzy Jeff. His son, Trey, was also hitting the decks at the Palms Casino Resort.

It wasn’t long before Jump On It began to play, and, never one to disappoint, Will ripped off his T-shirt, hopped on stage and did the moves.

If only Carlton was there our dreams would be complete…

Here's a reminder of the epic original, just in case…

 

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This sounds pretty good, we reckon!

The Killers' frontman, Brandon Flowers, sang a little bit from Iggy Azalea's summer hit, Fancy, at this year's V Festival and, well, he killed it!

Then again, is there any song that man couldn't make sound amazing?! 

The interpretive dance by drummer, Ronnie Vennucci, is by far our favourite part though. 

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One of our favourite past TOWIE stars Sam Faiers popped into the Wright Venue in Dublin to promote her new Ann Summers ‘Sexy For You’ campaign which is available in stores now. SHEmazing’s Niamh Geaney caught up with the Essex girl to talk about her beau Joey Essex, what’s she’s up to now, how she stays in such good nick and what we really want to know….what she thinks of her former flame Mark Wright’s fiancée Michelle Keegan. Check it out.

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College is a magical place where you have effectively all the freedom of an adult, with none of the responsibility. And as a result, college life isn’t quite the same as life outside it, and some words as a result mean something slightly different than they do in the real world. Here is a list of some of these words.

1. Repeats

Outside College: Does or says something again, or more than once.

In College: To be avoided at all costs. Will ruin any plans you have at the end of the summer if you don’t.

 

2. Reading

Outside College: Taking in something that is written down.

In College: Something your lecturer tells you to complete in between lectures, that you never ever do.

 

3. Guest List

Outside College: A list of names of the people invited to an event or party.

In College: A magical list that gets you in free to night clubs on a certain weekday.

 

4. Champagne

Outside College: A region of France that produces some of the most expensive sparkling wine in the world.

In College: Some really cheap bottle of prosecco or something similar that are sometimes on offer to people who bring a birthday party to a night club.

 

5. Drink

Outside College:  To take in and consume liquid.

In College: Anything with alcohol in it.

 

6. Arts

Outside College: An outlet of human expression that includes literature, music, dance, painting, photography and film.

In College: A degree that is the butt of an awful lot of jokes, and for good reason.

 

7. Food

Outside College: Any substance consumed to provide nutrition to the body.

In College: Whatever leftover takeaway is in the fridge from the night before. See also: half a box of corn flakes. Eaten dry. 

 

8. Study

Outside College: To devote time and attention to gaining knowledge of a certain subject.

In College: Something you should be doing instead of flicking endlessly through Facebook and watching the tenth episode of your favourite tv show in a row.

 

9. Assignment

Outside College: A task or piece of work allocated to someone as part of a job or course of study.

In College: Something that you will not, under any circumstances, start until the night before it is due.

 

10. Research

Outside College: Investigate a number of reliable and related sources systematically

In College: Look up the Wikipedia page on the topic and name the sources of the page as your reference material.

 

11. Clean

Outside College: Free from dirt, marks, or stains

In College: All of the empty bottles and cans from the night before are in a big bag beside the bin outside.

 

12. Being Late

Outside College: Arriving to something after the expected or desired time.

In College: Not an issue.

 

13. Bed

Outside College: Somewhere to sleep and sometimes make love to man/woman of your dreams.

In College: Your best friend.

 

14. Drunk

Outside College: To have consumed enough alcohol that your speech, balance and thought process are somewhat impaired.

In College: Passed out in a dark corner of whatever night club you got free into, cradling a bottle of that “champagne”.

 

15. A House

Outside College: A building that one or more people, often a family, lives together.

In College: Somewhere to drink.

 

16. Library

Outside College: A building that stores books/CDs/films that the public are allowed to borrow for a certain amount of time.

In College: Somewhere to sleep and pretend that you’re studying.

 

17. Central Heating

Outside College: The method by which a lot of modern houses are heated during the winter months.

In College: What’s that?

 

18. Being Broke

Outside College: Not having any money, and struggling to make end’s meet.

In College: Not having any money, but still managing to go out three times a week.

 

19. Early Start

Outside College: Getting up before 8am.

In College: Getting up before noon.

 

20. Summer

Outside College: The warmest months of the year when people often go on holidays.

In College: The months in between the end and start of college, when you struggle to find a job and spend too much time in front of the tv doing nothing.

 

21. WiFi

Outside College: A facility allowing computers, smartphones, or other devices to connect to the Internet or communicate with one another wirelessly within a particular area.

In College: More important than the air you breathe.

via our content partner CT

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Kerry Katona cannot catch a break! It looked like things were getting a little brighter for the former Atomic Kitten star after her engagement to George Kay, but it seems things are falling apart at the seams. The latest drama unfolded at her joint hen and stag do which begs the question, will there be a white wedding?

Niamh Geaney reports.

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This. Is. Amazing.

So, by now it looks as if there may be some real truth to the rumour that Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are dating.

The news comes not long after Jennifer’s split from long-term boyfriend, Nicholas Hoult, was announced and only a week after it was revealed Chris’s ex, Gwyneth Paltrow, is dating Glee’s co-creator, Brad Falchuk.

So far, the best thing to come out of this unusual coupling (sorry…) is their, quite frankly, hilarious nickname.

Let’s face it, it was never going to work with their first names, was it? Instead, the focus was shifted to their surnames and Martin Lawrence was born.

Yes, that’s right, real Martin Lawrence, Jennifer and Chris just stole your name. You’ll have to find a new one. 

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If you thought all an apple a day did was keep the doctor away, think again. A study has revealed that they’re actually great for your sex life.

Italian researchers analysed 731 women, and separated them into two groups: Group A ate one or two apples a day, and Group B who ate no apples.

The women then filled out a Female Sexual Function Index, which asked them about sexual function, sexual frequency, orgasm, lubrication and overall sexual satisfaction. The results showed that the women who ate apples had higher FSFI scores, “thus increasing their lubrication and overall sexual function.”

Apparently the reasons apples are so good for improving our sex lives is because they contain polyphenols and antioxidants that can stimulate blood flow to the genitalia and vagina, which helps with arousal. They also contain phloridzin, a common phytoestrogen that is structurally similar to estradiol, an important hormone for vaginal lubrication and female sexuality.

Now, if we haven’t turned your stomach with the words ‘vaginal lubrication’, go eat your apples. And if you’re planning a REALLY steamy night, here are some other foods that can help get you feeling a bit frisky:

Strawberries
If you have mastered the whole ‘looking really sexy while eating strawberries dipped in cream’ thing – we salute you. However, that’s not the only reason they’re good for your sex life. They help increase circulation, which helps with arousal, and they’re also rich in vitamin C which has been linked to higher sperm counts in men.

Avocados
These fruits are high in vitamin E and vitamin B6 which promotes better blood flow. And as we said before, good blood flow is essential for good fun in the bedroom.

Almonds
Thought nuts were boring? Think again. Almonds contain selenium which is known to help with infertility issues. They also contain vitamin E and zinc, which is meant to boost libido.

Sweet Potatoes
Eat a couple of sweet potatoes for some sweet, sweet lovin’. They’re full of potassium which is meant to be good for erectile dysfunction.

Sesame Seeds
Sprinkle them onto your cereal or into a stir-fry to get a boost of zinc, which helps with testosterone production in men, so we’re going to assume it’s good for our sexual health too!

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Hmm, is it just us or does Kim Kardashian look very, very like her nemesis, Beyoncé, in her latest Instagram snap?!

The KUWTK star shared some snaps of her unusual outfits to her Instagram account recently, and one in particular stuck out…

Kim is seen sporting corn rows and a pink, black and gold bodysuit with black tights.

However, something about this image in particular just struck us as being very like many of Queen Bey’s photos, what do you think? Is she channelling the singer’s look?

It doesn’t look as if we’re the only ones who noticed the similarities either as many followers have commented saying that she resembles Bey, or the style of photos that Beyoncé posts on her Instagram account.

There has been a lot of tension between the two since Jay-Z and Beyoncé failed to turn up to the famous Kimye wedding. 

 

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Is there anything this amazing specimen of man can't do? 

In the latest intalment of celebrities doing the ice bucket challenge, Chris Pratt proves once again, he's the best. 

Starting off with vodka and moving on to Smirnoff Ice, Chris downs the drink before having not one, but about five buckets of iced water thrown on his head from a balcony. 

Is that his wife, Anna Faris, throwing the water on him? It looks like it to us…! 

Well done, Chris, you certainly brightened up our Monday morning!

Post by Chris Pratt.
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Rumour has it that the weather is going to be getting progressively worse this week, but don’t worry! You can always go to the cinema and fill the summer shaped hole in your heart with popcorn and fizzy drinks. Here’s what’s being released this week:

Wednesday August 20th

What If

This is Daniel Radcliffe’s new film. He plays a medical school dropout called Wallace, who hasn’t been very lucky in love. When he decides to put his love life on hold, he meets Chantry, an animator who lives with her long-term boyfriend. Wallace is in love, but gets well and truly friend-zoned by Chantry – or so it seems. Is she secretly harbouring a little crush on her BFF? Well, you’ll have to watch it to find out!

 

Friday August 20th

Into the Storm

When a town called Silverton is struck by a ridiculous amount of tornadoes in one day, most people run for cover. However, a group of idiot adventurous storm chasers run towards the vortex trying to get that once-in-a-lifetime shot, making a very exciting film.

 

Friday August 22nd

Deliver Us From Evil

If you feel like you’ve had enough sleep for the week and want something to keep you up for the next 72 hours, then this is the film for you. New York police officer Ralph Sarchie is investigating a series of crimes and teams up with an unconventional priest who is well versed in the rites of exorcism. The unlikely duo get to work combating the possessions that have been terrorising the city. Word to the wise: make sure to visit the ladies’ before you head in for this one.

 

Friday August 22nd

The Rover

If you want to see Robert Pattinson in a more gritty drama, then here you have it. This is a film about a man called Eric in pursuit of his stolen car in a time where the rule of law means nothing to no one. He captures Rey, the brother of one of the thieves (R-Pattz), and forces him to help track the gang. Could be worth the watch!

 

Friday August 22nd

Lucy

Ever fancied seeing Scarlett Johansson get caught up in a dark deal, turn the tables on her captors and transform “into a merciless warrior evolved beyond human logic”? If so, Lucy is the film you’ve been looking for. 

 

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Is Lauren Conrad getting some ideas for her own big day at a friend’s recent wedding?

The Hills star shared lots of photos of her friend’s wedding over the weekend, where she served as a bridesmaid, and with her own nuptials just around the corner, we’re sure she was taking it all in!

From bridesmaid treats to the beautiful bride herself, Lauren shared the exciting day with her followers.

The wedding was also a reunion for many of the stars of Laguna Beach by the looks of it, with Lo Bosworth and even the gorgeous Stephen Coletti (remember him?!) in attendance.

Lauren and Stephen were an item way back in the Laguna Beach days, with Kristin Cavalleri being Lauren’s love rival….

Kristin is now married with two gorgeous babies and Lauren is getting married to fiancé, William Tell, soon and we feel so, so old. Could that all really have been ten years ago?! We need to go back to bed now…

Wouldn’t we like to have been a fly on the wall at that wedding!

Now all we have to do is wait for Lauren’s big day – and if her Instagram account is anything to go by, it’s going to be stunning! 

 

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