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If you’re just getting over a break-up there are some things that are just going to make things worse. If you can, it’s better to avoid them, even if you’re an emotional train wreck. What you might think will make you feel better , will actually only make you feel ten times worse. Here are the worst things you can do after a break-up.

1. Post break-up sex
It’s a sure fire way to make you feel worse, it might sound like a good idea, even though you might get some initial enjoyment out of it. It’s still too soon and give it a while before you get back on the saddle. You may think that you will be able to bury your feelings and just forget about it, but if it was a long term relationship you can’t just shrug it off.

2. Staying  in
We all need time to get over things and it’s important to wallow and get your emotions together. Don’t stay inside all the time though, go for a run and to get your mind off things, as long as you’re not stuck in the house. The temptation is to put on whatever clothes you have and watch daytime TV. It may be therapeutic for the first couple of days, but after a while you fall into the same routine.

3. Stalking your ex on Facebook
It’s better to stay off Facebook for a while, because sooner or later you are going to see a photo of your ex and it will bring everything rushing back. It’s going to do you no good checking in on them, you might see them with someone and it will make you feel horrible.

4. Bringing them up in conversation
Of course you should let your friends know what happened, but after that you should try and do everything you can to get them out your mind. It’s better not to talk about them, because every time you bring them up in a conversation, it will make you remember all the shit you went through.

5. Going to the same places you used to go
If there was always this restaurant you used to go to or some trendy bar, it’s best stay clear of it. You could end up bumping into your ex and have a really awkward encounter with them. It’s better to just find new places to go where you know you definitely won’t see them.

6. Watching romantic comedies
It’s a pretty awful idea and a sure fire way to set off the waterworks. They’re not made for people who just got out of a relationship and it will just make you more desperate. If there is one film that you definitely shouldn’t watch, it’s 500 Days of Summer! You’re obviously still tender so this one can be hard to swallow.

7. Listen to that Spotify playlist
Odds are that one of your playlists was all those songs about love, relationships and how great they are. That is the last thing you will want to listen to, make a new playlist with songs that will help you get through it. It can be a tough time so don’t make it worse by having those old memories hanging over you.

8. Drown your sorrows
It will bring all those bad feelings rushing back and you will be a nightmare to handle. Make it easy on your friends and family and lay off the drinking and wallowing combination. It’s good to go out and get your mind off things but getting drunk in your own company is the last things that will make you feel better.

9. Binging on junk food
Some people will gorge on food when they go through a bad break up, but it’s best to try and eat healthy and stay away from junk food. Ice-cream is usually the go to, even though you might feel better at first you will feel way worse in the long run. A whole tub of Haagen Daz will do that to you!

10. Jumping straight back into the dating game
You need time to heal, so it’s best not to get back into the dating game until you feel ready. If you’re emotionally vulnerable you will just want someone to take care of you while you get over your break up. No good will come out of it and it isn’t fair to either of you.

11. Analysing your old texts
Don’t dwell so much on what you said to them, we have a tendency to over analyse every little thing we do and find fault with it. It’s best just to let it go, don’t focus on the small details of what happened. Delete all those old texts and whatever you do don’t drunk text them… In fact, you should probably delete their number altogether.

12. Sleep with their best friend
Revenge sex might sound like a good idea, but you will only be ruining  another relationship. You might want to get back at them, but this is certainly not the way to go about it. If you really want to make them jealous show them how you can still be happy without them in your life.

13. Pretend like nothing happened
You need time alone after a break up and after a while you will be able to move on, but take the time to dwell on things before you’re ready to get out there. If you’re trying to keep things bottled up, things will eventually come pouring out at the worst time possible.

14. Getting closure
Sometimes relationships can end badly and that’s just the way it is. Don’t try and get closure, when you just outgrew each other and it was nothing more. You might meet them down the line and you will actually see things much clearer. You might even be able to laugh about it.

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There are questions in life that no one can answer. 

Here are our favourite unanswerable questions:

1. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 2. Do Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and the Alphabet Song have the same tune?

sesame street

Did you just try and sing those two songs?

3. Why do people say that they “slept like a baby”, even though a baby wakes up every two hours during the night?

 4. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 

5. Where are all the baby pigeons?

6. Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?

 

7. Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelt phonetically?

 8. Why is the word “abbreviated” so long?

9. Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

 10. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

 11. How does Tarzan not have a beard?

 12. If a bottle says “Do not use if seal is broken”, then how are you supposed the break the seal and use it?

 13. Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?

 14. Why do they make scented toilet paper?

 15. Before they invented drawing boards, what did people go back to?

 16. Do fish get thirsty?

 17. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

 18. How can something be “new” and “improved”? If something is new, what is it improving on?

 19. If a turtle doesn’t have  a shell, is it homeless or naked?

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All women are guilty of making some style mistakes from time to time – we're only human after all!

Here are the mistakes we'll make when it comes to style and beauty during out lifetime:

1. You Try Too Hard
A short skirt, falsies and a heavy tan do not necessarily mean you have it going on. Sometimes less is more. 

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2. You Put On Too Much Make Up
Please, please, remember the golden rule: heavy eye make up means natural lips, dark lippie means light on the eyes!

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3. Curling Your Hair Every Single Day
Think of hair's future, please! 

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4. Uncomfortable Clothes
Those hotpants are not comfy, just admit it. Throw on some sweats and come join the rest of us. 

5. Tangoed
One Mississippi, two Mississippi… 

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Some people just seem to coast through life without a breeze and are too laid back for their own good.

They don’t worry much about things and just let it happen. There are some downsides to that, because things don’t always end up going the way you had planned.

Here are the struggles every laid back person has to deal with:

1. People think you’re lazy
There is a fine line between being laid back and being lazy. If you’re laid back you just don’t stress about things as much. You still get things done, but you have your own way of doing things. If you’re lazy, you struggle to get things done and will try everything you can to avoid doing what you have to.

2. You wish you could care about drama
When someone tells you a secret about someone you don’t really react, you just say “whatever”. You don’t even act surprised. Most of the time you couldn’t care about who did what and where. For once you would actually wish you could care about it, but you're just not concerned about that kind of thing.

3. You are always the last one to get ready
If you’re going out with your friends, you’re always the last one to get ready. You wait until the last minute to get out of your sweatpants and into your proper clothes. A lot of the time you rush to get ready and end up being late when you could have easily been on time.

4. People think you’re a pushover
If you’re laid back it doesn’t mean you’re a pushover, you can still have strong beliefs and values. You might not stress about it a lot, but if someone tries to challenge you and what you stand for you won’t back down.

5. You shy away from confrontation
You might not be a pushover, but you do your best to stay away from confrontation. You might get mad and then realise that it’s not worth it and just leave it, while others might actually go through with it.

6. High energy people freak you out
You don’t get people who are super hyper and you just wish they would chill for a minute. They have so much energy and you don’t really know how to deal with them. They start to give you a headache any time they are around.

7. You’re  actually worried that you don’t stress out enough
You’re so laid back that it’s gotten to the point where you worried that you don’t stress out when things happen. Nothing phases you and no matter what happens, you never get stressed. You think there is something wrong with you because you never stress out when things go sour.

8. You know you could give more effort, but you decide not to
At best you give at 70%, the rest of the time it’s just over 50%. You know that if you applied yourself that you could actually do a better job, but slacking has become such a routine that you don’t know any other way.

9. Your greatest struggle is getting up in the morning
You wake up at the right time and all, but for some reason you just lie there and your mind wanders. Next thing you knows 20 minutes have past and you still need to have a shower and get dressed. It really takes every fibre of your being to get out of bed and wash.

10. Your so laid back, that people think that you’re always stoned
You're just relaxed, man…

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When you’re in a relationship, being yourself and staying true to yourself is key, as unbelievably cheesy as that may sound. It’s far too easy after all, to lose a little part of yourself when you’re trying to accommodate another person into your daily schedule.

As close as you may be, there’s always going to be a tiny little something that you hold back, something that’s left unsaid or indeed, something that’s twisted in order to lessen the side effects (mainly silence) that it may cause. Here are 13 phrases that every couple use and what they really mean. So now you know…

1. “It’s up to you.”

I don’t care enough about this matter to argue, so therefore I’m handing the responsibility over to you in the hope that you will, for once, make the right decision.

2. “I’m fine, ok?”

You’re an unbelievable a**hole, I’m now going to punish you until you remember what it is that you did wrong.

3. “No, I love your friends, why wouldn’t I?”

Possibly because they’re annoying idiots with whom I would never, ever voluntarily spend time with.

4. “I’m just really tired.”

I just really don’t want to have sex with you tonight. No offence or anything…

5. “Yes, I obviously do remember the date of our anniversary.”

Oh no. Please tell me I wrote it down somewhere. Facebook?

6. “Let’s do something.”

I'm bored.

7. “I’ve had the worst day ever.”

That is your cue to make me tea. Seriously. Put the kettle on.

8. “Are you hungry?”

I am absolutely starving, therefore, you’d better be too.

9. “Excuse me?”

Repeat the incorrect information that just departed your stupid mouth. Then await whatever abuse that you so clearly deserve.

10. “I love your mother, you’re talking rubbish.”

I really have no time for your mother. Soz. 

11. “I’m actually freezing.”

If you love me then you’ll give me your hoodie and then you’ll spoon away the cold.

12. “I really appreciated that drunk call last night, thanks so much.”

Thanks for waking me up last night dipshit. You can now suffer the effects of my interrupted sleep pattern.

13. “I think you should wear something else. It’s cold outside.”

You look so horrendous that there’s no way I’m stepping out in public with you. Go and change or I’m leaving you.

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We all have different expectations about going to college and to be honest, most of them are completely off the mark. Once you get there you realise that things are little different than you thought, in a good and bad way. It’s a bit more laid back than you thought, which is a double edged sword because there is less pressure, but all the responsibility is on you. Here are the top things that people say before their first year in college.

1. “It will be such a doss”
It’s true that you will have a lot more freedom in college, but at the end of the day you still have to the do the work. No one is going to put pressure on you and it’s all on you whether you bother or not, otherwise you will be looking a lot of repeats.

2. “I’ll go to all of my lectures”
You have this grand agenda that you won’t miss a lecture and you’ll be sorted for your exams. This lasts for about two weeks and then you soon realise that sleep becomes more important to you than your lectures. By now you have realised that most lecturers post slides online, which gives you one more excuse not to go in.

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3. “I’m going to join loads of societies”
During Freshers week you sign up for all the different societies because you get lots of free stuff. Then you tell yourself you will go to all the events that they organise… highly unlikely. Life gets in the way and you only really go based on whether or not they have free food and booze.

4. “I will be going out every night”
The people that go out every night will be the ones who either will be doing repeats or will eventually just drop out. You actually need to go into college sometimes. Showing up twenty minutes late and hungover for every lecture isn’t a good routine to get into.

5. "I work so I will have loads of money for partying”
If you’re living on campus, you will soon be wondering where all your money has gone. It is quite a costly expense to live on campus and with the little money you have left you will be scrounging for the cheapest beer you can find.

6. “I will go to the gym every day”
While it might sound like a great idea in practice, you go once and then you don’t see the gym for the rest of the year. It wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway because of how bad your diet is.

7. "Gourmet meals from here on in”
So you have learned a few meals that you can cook when you get to college. It’s a different scenario altogether though when you actually get there and you realise you don’t really have the time or the money to be making cuisine quality meals. The closest thing you get to a gourmet meal is Dominos Pizza.

8. "I’m going to get my assignments done early, so I’ll have more free time”
The harsh truth is that an assignment deadline just means how long more you have to procrastinate. You start off handing them in on time and it gradually turns into you giving it in two weeks later  and then finally asking  for an extension a month after it’s due.

9. "I’ll wear all my new clothes I got for college”
At the start you try to put a bit of effort into how you dress, you never know, you might catch someone’s eye in class. Over time you just throw on whatever clothes are on the floor and if you could you would wear your pyjamas to class.

10. "It’s going to be great having a new roommate”
No matter how much you love your roommate, over time the stuff they do will get on your nerves. It’s the little things like letting the sink pile up and leaving you to take out the rubbish all the time. Be prepared to secretly hate your roommate by Christmas.

11. "I will have to buy new books for all my classes”
You will soon realise that buying new books is a waste of money and when you lectures say you “need” to buy the book, it means you can get by without it. If you need to get any books you should just rent  them from the library and save your money.

12. "I will finally find someone who gets me”
If you’re going to college and looking for love you’re in the wrong place . Sure, you might hook up,  which will definitely happen a lot in college, but it’s not really the place for long term relationships. You might even have the same interests as them, but you will soon realise that there is more much to a relationship then having things in common.

13. "I’ll start studying a month before exams”
Ha well isn’t that interesting, you’ll be lucky if you get in some study a week before your exams. With assignments still left to do and lots and lots of procrastination, studying for exams becomes less and less likely the longer time passes by. Then, when you finally do decide to study the night before, you actually don’t understand anything.

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Look, we all know we are more interested in looking at female celebrities than male ones (except you Ryan, calm down). Here are the top lady crushes most women have:

10. Emma Stone
Emma Stone burst onto our radars as the quirky, offbeat comedy star with a difference. Yes, there’s no denying that she’s beautiful but she’s also a little different, funny and not your typical Hollywood starlet. They say you can’t have it all…

9. Olivia Wilde
Not just a pretty face, Olivia took the stage name Wilde after the one and only Oscar, a testament to her brains too, perhaps? No, mainly because her real name is Olivia Cockburn. No, it is. Not only does she act, she also models, writes, acts and directs. Oh and she just did a shoot with Glamour where she showed just how beautiful is is to be a breastfeeding mum. Swoon.

8. Miranda Kerr
Miranda started out as a Victoria’s Secret model (no surprise there really) and rose through the ranks to become one of the most famous Supermodels of recent times. As if that wasn’t quite enough, she’s also a fashion icon and has the worlds cutest baby with Orlando Bloom. Life envy much?

7. Christina Hendricks
Christina, or as most of us will know her, Joan, the steely star of Mad Men, is as famous for her acting skills as she is for her curves and she never looks as good as when poured into another of those fabulous vintage costumes. Not bitter at all…

6. Mila Kunis
Mila is another classic case of being the girl that every man wants and every woman wants to be. Not just content with being hot, smart, funny and oh yes, engaged to Ashton Kutcher, she’s also a serious film actress when the time calls for it. *Sigh*

5. Jennifer Lawrence
Who doesn’t love Jennifer Lawrence? She proved herself as a worthy actress from the get go and her popularity has been on an upward spike ever since. The fact that she appears to be so grounded, normal and funny only helps to increase our admiration (and love) for her.

4. Alessandra Ambrosio
Brazilian born Alessandra is a Victoria’s Secret model (no surprise there) and there isn’t really much else to say here, so just look at the image below and feel the awe rise up around you.  If you aren’t blessed with her genes, you can always use party casino research to understand how you can win elsewhere – right?

3. Rihanna
Pretty much every sane girl in the world would agree that Rihanna is one of the hottest females ever. She appears to have it all. The looks, talent, money, men (well…), lifestyle, friends. So thank you Rihanna, we officially want to be you right about now.

2. Blake Lively
Blake, the tall, beautiful Gossip Girl star has since moved on from teen dramas and married the equally beautiful Ryan Reynolds. With legs up to her armpits, the most lusted after hair in the business and a wardrobe full of clothes that merely highlight how goddamn hot she is, Blake, we applaud and really want to be you.

1. Beyoncé 
Come on, you had to have known that Beyoncé  would be our number one. It’s Beyoncé for gods sake. A stellar career, the most amazing figure on the planet, riches and an ability to rock a leotard like nobody else, there isn’t much to do apart from just look on in wonder.

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Guys have no problem with hooking up with someone or even having a booty call but when it comes to being in a relationship they are always a bit more cautious. The thought of commitment can make a guy feel skeptical about making it official, so he will usually have some reasons not to go for it.

Here are the excuses that guys use not to be in a relationship:

1. "I just got out of a bad relationship"
They might have got out of a bad relationship, but that was actually 3 years ago. There comes a point where you’re past that phase and are just single again. It’s just a defense mechanisim used so that they don’t have to commit to anything.

2. "I’m super busy right now"
We all have busy lives but we still make time to be with the people we like. It’s an easy excuse to use because no one’s going to question it if it’s work or college related. If it’s to do with your job, it’s more plausible, but if it’s to do with college work then we all know you can put it off.

3. "I don’t want to ruin our friendship"
If you’re actually good friends, but things have escalated between the two of you, this is when a guy would use this line. It’s actually nice that he is considering your friendship, but if you have been more than just friends for a while,  he clearly is having doubts.

4. "I just want to focus on my career"
So basically he has an app idea and he isn’t  sure what it is yet. Your life doesn’t have to go on hold when you’re trying to find a career, in fact, having that support behind them will only motivate them further.

5. "We don’t really have anything in common"
This is actually a common misunderstanding about relationships,  that you have to like everything they like. It’s better to have the same values or morals than some trivial similar interests. You learn to like different things in relationships, so this is a bad excuse.

6. "I’m still immature"
Guys can have their moments of immaturity, but when it comes down to it, they know how to behave like an adult. Acting immature probably just means he would rather hook up with girls than be tied down.

7. "I want to enjoy college"
Basically, he is saying that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you because he would rather have a few one night stands instead. We all want to enjoy college, but if you get on really well together and see eye to eye, then maybe you should take a leap of faith.

8.  "I’m still finding myself"
It can take people up until their 30's to “find” themselves and even then they still have a lot more to figure out. You will be waiting a long time to be in a relationship if you’re waiting to see who you really are. You will find out more about yourself by being with someone else.

9.  "I want to take things slow"
It’s always better not to rush into a relationship, but if things are progressing a bit too slow, then he is stalling. He doesn’t want things to progress that fast and still needs time to think things over.  If it’s been over a year and you’re still not official then what's the point of hanging around.

10. "I’m not in the right place emotionally"
Guys aren’t very emotional creatures, compared to women anyway, so if a guy uses this as an excuse he is hiding something. It’s a sure fire way of dodging the bullet and he is getting all the benefits of being in a relationship without actually being in one.

11. "It’s not you, it’s me"
This a very polite way of saying that "I don’t what to be tied down to being in a relationship, but I still want to hang out with you." Clearly, he is just keeping his options open and  is still playing the field. If you’re not getting what you want out of the this then it’s time to move on.

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There are some questions in this life that should never be asked. You know that type of questions we mean. The ones that make time seem to stand still and that make you want to shrivel up and die inside a little. The ones that if you could turn back time and un-hear, you most definitely would.

So, in order to prepare you for every eventuality, here are some extremely awkward life questions to try and avoid:

1. “So, what are you doing with your life now?”

Well, right now I’m wishing you’d turn around and pretend you didn't see me, you?

2. “How’s the love life?”

Oh fantastic. Despite the fact that we don't know or even like each other that much, you are definitely the person with whom we will share all details of our love life with. Even if it consists of nothing more than repeats of The Notebook.

3. “Still single?”

Still a jerk?

4. “Will we hear wedding bells any time soon?”

Leave me alone!

5. “Do you want kids some day?”

None yo' business!

6. “Are you using protection?”

Oh dear God please stop. Seriously mom. 

7. “Where do you see yourself in ten years time?”

I try not to think about life in ten days time, so ten years is a bit ridiculous isn't it?

8. “What are your salary expectations?”

More than this but what choice is there?

9. “What would you say are your best qualities?”

Bleugh, this one is so hard. There's a fine line between confident and arrogant. 

10. “Why do you think you should get this job?”

Well, the dole is good for about two weeks and then the days just drag and Doctor Phil reruns are back to the start again so…yeah. 

11. “How much do you weigh?”

Just enough.

12. “How many times a week do you work out?”

Couldn't even count it's so often. 

13. “Are you sleeping with them?”

Unless it's your BFF, that's none of your concern. 

14. “So what’s your magic number?”

A lady does not kiss and tell. Not to you anyway. 

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Let’s face it, everyone loves a bit of random flirting, be they male or female. In a shop, at the bar, on the street, a randomer finding you physically appealing enough to start a conversation with you can sometimes be the highlight of your day. 

There are certain places however where being chatted up can only end in disaster:

1. An STI Clinic

There's going to be questions asked, don't say we didn't warn you…

2. A Courtroom

"Soooo…what did you do?"

3. At a Family Occasion

Yes that cute waiter may have winked at you at your granny’s 80th birthday but proceed with caution. For the majority of your relations you are still twelve and nothing will shatter that illusion quicker than playing tonsil tennis in their presence. Don’t do it.

4. At Work

Unless you’ve landed some form of a dream job the majority of students part-time occupations are boring, demanding, smelly or all three. Sometimes a customer might make a suggestive comment that makes you blush or a co-worker might give you a flirtatious nickname but you’re probably too tired/stressed/sticky to notice. Save it for the Christmas party.

5. A Bathroom Line

I know you just peed and haven’t washed your hands. Step away.

6. The Lingerie Section

There’s only three reasons any straight lad should be in a lingerie section.

a) They’re picking up something for their other half.

b) They like smelling women’s underwear or

c) They’ve gotten lost in a Father Ted-style incident and are desperately trying to escape. Only in the third case should you return the conversation.

7. During the Walk of Shame

Last night’s dress, banshee hair, panda make up and carrying stilettos. No one looks good this way. 

8. When on a Date with Someone Else

Nothing will kill any potential romance there could be faster.

9. McDonald’s at 4am

Just the food, seriously. 

10. Any Form of Public Transportation after 9pm

Nothing good happens at night. Your Mammy warned you about this.

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Whether you live at home or share a house with your friends (or strangers for that matter), there are times when no matter how well you get on, they are just going to do something that gets on your nerves. It’s inevitable when you share the same space with other people. If you’re lucky, these things will rarely happen. But if not, well, you could always move. Or just retaliate, whatever’s cheaper.

1.Drinking Straight Out Of The Carton
It doesn’t matter how big the thirst is that you’re trying to quench, you can take the extra ten seconds to pour the drink into a glass and drink from that. Your saliva and our milk don't mix. Ever. 

2. Putting Empty Boxes/Bottles/Containers Back In The Fridge
The only reason that people do this is that they aren’t concentrating while they’re tiding up after themselves. Please think about what you’re doing and don’t get our hopes up that there’s still some M&M’s left in that big empty bag in the fridge.

3. Blatantly Eating Your Food
Just buy your own – or at least ask!

4. Leaving Dirty Dishes In The Sink
Don’t even get us started.

5. Noisy Eating
Some people, in fairness, are just noisy eaters, and there’s not a lot that they can do about it, it’s just the way they chew and the shape of their face or something. (Not to be confused with people who chew with their mouth open. Those people can’t be helped.)

6. Leaving The Cap Off The Toothpaste
Hard, stale unusable toothpaste is never good, how is it that much harder to just put it back on?

7. Not Hanging Up The Towel After A Shower…
It can’t dry properly down there, and becomes smellier in a much shorter space of time.

8…Or Opening The Window
We can't see in the fogged up mirror to do our make-up every morning – can't you be a little considerate?

9. Leaving The Toilet Seat Up
One for the boys. How many times do we have to fall into the toilet bowl before we either start looking down first, or you learn to put it down after?

10. Using Your Shampoo
Like stealing your food, there’s only a certain amount of people that it could be. Only this one is much easier to figure out, especially when they come out of the bathroom smelling like coconut conditioner. 

11. Eating In Their Room And Leaving The Stuff Behind
By “stuff” we mean all of the cutlery, bowls, plates and cups they seem to be gathering into some sort of personal collection, meaning that there's nothing to eat cereal with in the morning, or any meal throughout the day for that matter.

12. Not Replacing An Empty Toilet Roll
Or even worse, not buying more when they’ve used up the last roll in the house. Tissues and kitchen roll will only do for so long!

13. Not Cleaning The Oven After Use
Obviously the oven doesn’t need to be cleaned after every time it’s used, but it’s common courtesy to clean up any spills that may have been caused by any of the food you were cooking.

14. Stinking Up The Fridge With Smelly Food
Blue cheese? Reeeally?

15. Hair In The Sink
No. Just, no.

16. Not Flushing The Toilet
Nope. 

17. Stealing Your Charger
When someone asks to borrow something, the standard thing to do is to return whatever it is once they’re finished with it. Not keep in their room indefinitely until you have to be asked for it. 

18. Leaving Used Tea Bags On The Counter
Taking the teas bag out of the mug and leaving it on the spoon while you pour your milk in or get the biscuits is a pretty common habit. But don’t just leave it there, throw it out before you leave the kitchen. The bin is 5 feet away from, it’s not hard.

19. Having The Television Really Loud
Sssh!!

 20. Bringing Home Unwelcome Couch Surfers
And they stay for way longer than you expect them to. They make relaxing in your own house awkward.

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A new semester is almost upon us, a fresh beginning, a new start. A chance to right your wrongs, put to bed those past study regrets that you may be harbouring, the time to draw on a clean slate.

Every single semester students up and down the country lie to both themselves and everyone around them by promising themselves things they won't do.

Happy procrastinating!

1. “I’m going to be so focused and organised this semester.”

This is probably the strongest lie that we try and tell ourselves. We try and scare our inner thoughts into believing that this is our one last chance to cop on and knuckle down, that a refill pad filled with notes from the seven different classes that we’re taking is a perfectly acceptable, organised system. Well it’s not. But that’s not going to stop you now, is it?

2. “I’m going to study at least thrice as much as last year.”

If by study you mean procrastinating, then yes, you will ‘study’ three times more than you did last year. Cleaning, Netflix and Facebook creeping will be all on the rise. Good intentions still count, right?

3. “I’m going to go out far less.”

Of course you are. Until Thursday, when you somehow end up sitting in someone’s dingy house with a six pack of Dutch Gold in hand. Seeing as you’re in college, hitting the town twice a week (minimum) is inevitable, so stop lying to your inner socialite and get your finest dancing shoes on immediately.

4. “I’m going to be super healthy this time around.”

Yes, you may believe that running, quinoa and lettuce will form a major part of your life now that you’ve promised yourself glowing health, but be honest, after a rough night on the beer nothing spells hangover cure better than a salad right? WRONG. So wrong. Chinese and the couch anyone?

5. “I’ll have so many golden weeks, they’ll probably give me an award.”

Correction, you’ll have so many absences, they’ll probably give you an award. Golden weeks are the stuff of legend, the pinnacle of a successful, dedicated student. It’s similar to a golden ticket in that you’re never going to get one, so stop lying to yourself now.

6. “The library shall be my new home for the next year.”

This is partly true, the library shall be your new home for a brief period (week) leading up to exams. As for the rest of the semester? Well, lets just say that you and your bed will form a close and intimate relationship because at least in bed, you won’t be judged for watching whatever classy shows it is that you watch.

7. “I’m going to really embrace college life and be a society head.”

Don't do this. Just don't. Please. 

8. “I will hand all of my assignments in on time and will not leave them untouched until the night before they’re due.”

This is very much a true and genuine aspiration, true that is, until we are given an assignment that’s due in three weeks. Three weeks seems like such a very long time, you think. I’ll leave it for a few days, do some research, gather my thoughts. (Enter Netflix) Then suddenly, without you even realising, it’s the night before and you’re pulling another caffeine fueled all nighter. So you see, really, it’s not actually all your fault…

9. “I will do every bit of recommended reading that comes my way.”

Yes, but have you SEEN how much reading one is actually expected to do? How in God's name are you expected to fit it in around sleep, drinking and online ‘researching’? It’s an impossible task. Give up now and spare yourself the stress.

via our content partner CT

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