Finding out you’re pregnant – and then going through the pregnancy itself – is guaranteed to be a rollercoaster of physical and emotional changes. Whether it was planned or a happy surprise, whether you have a partner or are going at it alone, your future suddenly has a very small human involved. And that’s terrifying. The physical, monthly side of things aside, you’re going to need to prepare on other levels too. Specifically, prepare your brain, for when the day comes and they arrive, and for the trip back home. Here’s how.

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1. Talk to Your Boss

Speak up! Let your boss or, if preferable, HR know that you’re pregnant as soon as you feel appropriate. The NCT can help with the legal side of things here, but in general the earlier the better. That way you can make a plan: Will you keep working? When until? When would you return, would it be part-time or full-time, and who is fit to fill your responsibilities in between? Maternity leave exists for a reason, so be sure to take as much as you need. And do the same with your partner! Might they also want maternity or paternity leave? Budget time and money in the household accordingly. Thinking about these things now rather than as they’re happening will save your brain a whole lot of future stress.

And it’ll thank you for it.

2. Go Spiritual

Adding a new member to your family is almost always an incredibly meaningful event; consider the spiritual side of things. Would you like a Christening? Can your local imam, rabbi or priest provide advice and relief from anxiety? Or, if you’re less mainstream, perhaps you’d prefer a tarot or palm reading. Sources like these are just as easy to access as the former – TheCircle has a database full of online psychics who will help you get advice and look into the future. The point is, spiritual communities can be a great source of friendship for your growing home. And you might just meet other mothers in your situation along the way!

3. Follow the Rules

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Staying sane in the run up to motherhood is no easy feat. There are so many worries and concerns that pop up out of nowhere. One thing that can help calm the mental storm, however, is professional help. Talk to your doctor – a lot. Read the textbooks, the guidebooks, throw out fear and fill your brain up with knowledge instead. Go to birthing classes with your partner or, if single, find a close friend willing to muck in. Preparation is your best friend, and guess what? You’ve got a whole nine months to do it!

4. Plan with Family

It’s time to pin down the variables – who’s allowed at the hospital? Which family members get to visit and when? Put down those boundaries and put yourself first. If you have a plan, you can enforce it. Doctors and nurses will put your needs first when the time comes no matter what. Remember: You have no obligations to anyone but your baby in those first few weeks. You’ll have just given birth! Plan rest. Plan silence. Help your future brain out a little. And if your partner is a woman, discuss whether there’s a possibility of sharing breastfeeding duties to even out the sleep. Your body needs help, too!

5. Keep Active

Don’t put your life on hold for an upcoming child – the worst way to go stir crazy is to sit back and let it happen. Stay at work, stay social and stay moving (within your doctor’s orders). Be safe and sensible with your body but don’t let it pin you to the bed. Mind and body are intimately involved, and when one is going through baby-growing and birthing the other needs some serious TLC.

So listen to them both. Listen to the pros, always ask for help – and then strap in for the ride of your life!