HomeTagsPosts tagged with "Me Too Movement"

Me Too Movement

Wouldn’t it be nice to walk down the road without clinging to your keys, without flinching every single time you see someone in a hoodie and without that unnerving feeling in your tummy that you’re not safe?

No woman should fear for her safety as she walks down the street she has lived on for 25 years, but we do.

The season where our house keys are gripped so tightly in our hands that they leave a mark is here. Warm summer evenings are long gone and have been replaced by November’s darkness that seeps it’s way into the sky at 4pm.

I reached out to our wonderful Shemazing readers to discuss the fear of walking alone that hangs over millions of women, especially in the winter months and it’ll come as no surprise to discover that 87% of our followers do not feel safe when they are walking alone in the dark.

Can you imagine a world where it is perfectly safe for a young woman to stroll home from the office without feeling the need to call her best friend, just so she isn’t entirely alone?

When asked what makes them feel that little bit safer when out in the dark, the majority of our readers revealed that calling someone, anyone who is free, is their biggest reassurance.

Hearing a familiar voice and knowing that someone is with you until you’re in the safety of your own home has become an essential part of late evening walks like the scarf that keeps you warm and the runners on your feet.

Others cling to their house keys, stick to busier streets and ensure their loved ones always know what route they’re taking.

Many carry weapons because you just don’t know what could happen when you’re alone. Better safe than sorry, we mutter, but it shouldn’t be this way.

If we see a suspicious character we’ll pretend a random house is our home. We’ll call our mam to feel less alone but we can’t help but flinch whenever a man appears to be following us.

We lower our music so much that the lyrics are unrecognisable. Our hands tighten around the strap of our handbag. A passing car or the sound of footsteps can send you into a state of panic, because this is the world that we live in, one where you can’t even feel safe as you walk down a familiar street at 8pm.

We need better street lights and safer routes. We need more support from neighbourhoods and improved surveillance, a stronger presence of Gardaí and an alert system if we're in danger.

However, what we really need is for people to change, especially men. I’m not trying to say that no man has ever felt this unnerving fear in the pit of his stomach as he walks alone in the dark, but it is a feeling that every woman, no matter what her age, is way too familiar with.

A 2018 survey revealed that an astonishing nine in 10 women feel unsafe in Ireland just because of their gender. Three-quarters admitted that they walk or jog faster to ensure they’re safe at nighttime. Almost 50% will change their route or walk longer distances as a safety precaution.

Everyone should have the right to walk down the street without the fear of being attacked. Women should be able to listen to music and stroll down the road, but we don’t and it’s because of that shared fear, that constant terror and because this is the world we live in.

The council can install as many street lights as possible, but this feeling of fear will never leave us unless men change their attitudes towards women. 

When asked what would make them feel safe when walking alone, one reader’s simple response hit me hard. 

“Lights in darker areas, but it still doesn’t stop men attacking us.”

Her words prove that teaching men to respect and treat women as their equals is the key here.

We need them to be our allies, not our enemies.

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Vanessa Hudgens has opened up about the “traumatising” moment her nudes were leaked in 2007. The High School Musical alum was a mere 18-years-old when her phone was hacked and her personal photos were shared on the Internet.

Speaking to Cosmopolitan about the ordeal, the actress said that it was completely “f***ed up” for someone to share those photos with the public.

She said, “It was a really traumatising thing for me. It’s really f***ed up that people feel like they are entitled enough to share something that personal with the world.”

The photos were leaked in a time before the #MeToo movement, a time when Vanessa was called a slut and was expected to apologise for taking the photos.

The Disney star had to say sorry despite being a victim.

The lack of support Vanessa received at the time of her nude photo leak is disheartening. Instead of rallying around her, like we would today, the public failed to see her as a victim and slut-shamed the Disney actress that many of us grew up with.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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“As an actor, you completely lose all grip of your own privacy and it’s really sad. It feels like that shouldn’t be the case, but unfortunately if enough people are interested, they’re going to do everything they can to get to know as much about you as they can, which is flattering, I guess, but then people take it too far and end up divulging things that should be personal,” she commented.

The Princess Switch star continued: "I think that is because there’s a disconnect when you see your favourite actress on the screen, and you see them now on your TV in your homes, and you can watch them whenever you want.

“There’s almost – I don’t want to say lack of respect because that sounds negative – but it just makes you feel like you know them even though you don’t,” she stressed.

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The R&B and soul singer was one of few celebrities to appear in the Surviving R Kelly documentary, with stars such as Jay Z, Mary J Blige and Lady Gaga declining to appear.

While John Legend was applauded for speaking out against notorious sex predator Kelly in the Lifetime docu-series, which recounts the multiple abuse claims the musician has faced over the last three decades.

While appearing in the documentary was of monumental importance, Legend has now landed himself in hot water.

Fans were surprised to see a resurfaced photo of the 40-year-old and his wife happily posing for a photo with Harvey at the Sundance Film Festival in 2016, only a few months before the #MeToo movement took off.

The infamous 66-year-old movie mogul at the heart of the #MeToo movement is currently awaiting trial in New York on a number of related sexual assault and rape charges.

The All Of Me singer was forced to defend himself, writing a response to his Twitter followers;

"I took a photo with and worked with Harvey on several occasions before his abuse was known to me and the rest of the world."

"Since his being exposed, his company and career have rightfully been destroyed and he's been indicted. Sounds like something that should happen to R. Kelly."

 He continued in a follow-up tweet, saying "If y'all wanna cape for R and discount all these women's stories, just say it. Don't bring up some old pics of me and somebody else."

That being said, allegedly Harvey Weinstein's abuse was widely known throughout the entire entertainment industry for decades, so we find it difficult to believe that he had no clue what the movie producer was capable of.

What's your stance, do you think the image is important, or should the focus be on listening to the voices of R Kelly's victims and speaking out against enablers? 

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I’ve been a Taylor Swift fan since my early teens so when I found out I was going to her Dublin show on the Reputation tour I was overjoyed. I couldn’t help but shed a few happy tears.

I know she isn’t everyone's cup of tea, some people find her fake, others think her music is cringey, but one thing you must applaud her for is how she opened up about being a victim of sexual assault.

August 14 marked the one year anniversary of the day the jury sided in the singer’s favour in her case against former radio host David Mueller.

 

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As she looked out at a crowd of loving fans, Taylor opened up about the trial: “A year ago I was not playing in a stadium in Tampa, I was in a courtroom in Denver, Colorado. This is the day the jury sided in my favor and said that they believed me.”

The Delicate singer welled up as she spoke about all of the victims who were ignored and pushed aside. The ones who weren’t taken seriously. The ones who weren’t listened to.

 

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“I just think about all the people that weren’t believed and the people who haven’t been believed, and the people who are afraid to speak up because they think they won’t be believed,” Taylor said.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry to anyone who ever wasn’t believed because I don’t know what turn my life would have taken if somebody didn’t believe me when I said something had happened to me.”

The You Belong With Me continued: "I just wanted to say we have so much further to go, and I’m so grateful to you guys for being there for me for what was really a horrible part of my life.”

Taylor thanked her fans for seeing her through all the good times- the number one songs, the sold out tours and the awards- and the bad times- the breakups, the online abuse and the groping trial.

She addressed the crowd: “I wanted to say that I’m so happy to see you and to have you and know you through the ups and the downs in my life.”

The singer struggled to hold back her tears during the moving speech: “Sorry I just haven’t really talked about it, and so I’m just not composed at all.”

Following the Look What You Made Me Do singer's tear-jerking speech, fans held up $1 notes to support Taylor and survivors of sexual abuse. 

Reasons like this remind me of why I have adored the Call It What You Want singer since I was a teenager. Sure, you may not enjoy her music, but her courage is something we should all appreciate.

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“The young lads went overboard but this is what young lads do on occasion. They have suffered far too much.”

This was a comment written by Billy Keane, in the comment section of The Irish Independent, in the wake of the Ballyragget scandal.

In case you need a bit of refreshing on the Ballyragget case, a scandal erupted in the small Kilkenny village after some photos of the intermediate hurling team celebrating a club victory went viral.

There were strippers involved, and claims that one of them, Fifi, was paid for performing a sex act on a player.

But of course, instead of being thoroughly investigated for their viral (literally thousands of people saw the pictures and videos) misconduct, the men (not boys, not “young lads”, but grown-ass men) were given nothing more than a slap on the wrist.

This culture of ‘boys will boys’ and ‘it’s just a bit of craic’ is a cover for a much deeper misogyny that has reared its ugly head in Ireland recently. We’ve had enough, it’s time for Ireland’s #TimesUp moment.

If the trial of four rugby players, including Paddy Jackson and Stuart Olding, has shown us anything it’s that ‘lad culture’ is strong in sport- and that sport will stop at nothing to protect its own.

Let me preface this by saying that I have absolutely nothing against rugby or the GAA. Sport is a fantastic way of bringing families, communities and entire countries together. It is a treasured social outlet for many men and women. Professional and dedicated sportspeople deserve our highest respect, but that does not mean that they are above the law, despite their acquittal of all charges clearly stating otherwise. 

Male GAA and rugby stars command the same amount of notoriety and power, as film stars and Hollywood hotshots do in the United States. We’re a small nation, so to make it big, most of our actors and musicians head for the bright lights of the States or London. But one thing we refuse to export are sportspeople.

In rugby, our national team have taken on Goliaths like England, France and the All Blacks, and we’ve won. This is an immense source of Irish pride, and it’s hard not to feel something when our team is given the Six Nations or places in the World Cup.

Those men (and women, the ladies team deserve far more recognition than they get) are representing us, they are Ireland on the pitch.

So, what happens when one of our stars is accused of rape? The “lads only club” kicks in.

Lad culture and rugby are synonymous. Don’t believe me? Ross O’Carroll-Kelly created an entire series about it.

According to a report published by the National Union of Students in the UK, Lad Culture in universities is damaging and sexist. Lad Culture can be defined as a version of masculinity that promotes pack mentality, excessive drinking, multiple sexual partners and overtly homophobic, sexist and aggressive language in the form of “banter”.

While the study focuses on Lad Culture in universities, it does note the connection between sports and ‘laddisms’.

“‘Lad Culture’ was thought to be particularly influential in the social side of university life,” states the report.

“Extracurricular activities and sports in particular were singled out as key sites, and it was reported that sexism in such environments could spill over into sexual harassment and humiliation.”

This ‘banter’, while explicitly sexual and violent is usually dismissed as “just a bit of craic”. Speaking out about it or challenging offensive sexual speak leaves us to open to being called “dry”, “hysterical”, or even worse, “one of those man-hating feminists”.

Women, and men, uncomfortable with these laddisms are left to suffer in silence- or even become compliant and join in on the ‘banter’.

The ‘banter’ flying about the Whatsapp group the morning after the aforementioned alleged rape further proves this.

The morning after the acts took place, one of the rugby players posted a selfie of himself with three female party-goers, captioned “Love Belfast sluts.” 

Charming. 

A friend replied, “Boys, did you lads spit roast lasses? Legends!! … why are we all such legends?” to which the man responded: “I know. It’s ridiculous.” 

The conversation continued on a similar vein, with one message asking if the women were “Brassers”- Belfast slang for prostitutes.

“Two days after the alleged rape, at 11.28am,” writes The Irish Independent. “Mr McIlroy sent a message to a friend stating: ‘Pumped a bird with Jacko on Monday. Roasted her. Then another on Tuesday night.’”

To be honest, they sound more like they were describing a chicken dinner, than actual sex. 

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Rape jokes and other such lad culture tripe serve to dehumanise women, completely disregarding any kind of consent. She is no longer a woman, sister, daughter, friend. She is a “bird” waiting to be “pumped” and “roasted”.

The fact that that defence lawyer called these texts a "titillating sideshow", only proves the power of misogynistic power of "banter" over a woman's right to speak her truth. 

This is not just ‘banter’ between team mates, it’s symptomatic of a wider disregard for consent. In the words of Stuart Olding, “I didn't force myself on her. I presume she wanted it to happen. She didn't have to stay, she could have left.”

Okay, let’s break this one down.

They’re rugby players, it’s literally their job to be as physically strong as possible. By his own admission, Olding had consumed “eight cans of Carlsberg beer, four pints of Guinness, two gins, five vodka and lemonades and three shots of tequila and sambuca.” Combine an athletics physical strength with that amount of alcohol and even what might not seem to be any force for them could literally crush a normal person.

Now to, “I presume she wanted it to happen.”

No. Just, no.

He “presumed” she wanted to have sex with him, because why wouldn't she? They’ve constantly been told that they’re brilliant since they were tackling a teddy in their cribs. In Ireland, the recognition that sports receive is the equivalent to a Hollywood A-lister. Why wouldn't any woman want you? It goes with the territory. Wrong.

Couple this egotism with the laddist ignoring consensual conversations, any regard for the woman’s wishes in this situation has been ignored.

As the old saying goes, “If you assume, you make an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ and ‘me’.”

And apparently, none of this was enough to actually convict any of them. All four have walked free. 

It’s not funny, it’s not banter. It’s the last bastion of overt and accepted misogyny of our so-called “equal” society.

Like I said before, sport is not the only area where “lad culture” flourishes.

Sport doesn't have to be like this. In fact, the team bond and their visibility make them an excellent place for open conversation, debate and education. Just look at soccer's 'Give Respect, Get Respect' Campaign. Yeah, it didn't solve racism but at least it CALLED IT OUT.  

Take a look at the Times Up movement in the States, it’s only once we start an open and inclusive conversation can this be fixed. Dragging the problem kicking and screaming into the spotlight instead of writing it off as just another grey area.

The days of hushing sexual assault and harassment under the carpet embroidered “boys will be boys” are over. Let’s take what happened in Belfast as a beginning, a beginning of a brighter, healthier, more inclusive era for Ireland’s sports teams.

It’s everyone’s responsibility to talk about consent, not just women. It starts with a simple replacing of “It’s just a bit of craic” with “Lads, cut it out.” It starts with saying "I believe her". 

Just because they've walked away, doesn't mean that women are going to be silenced.  We owe it to her to speak up. We owe it to ourselves, our sisters, friends, co-workers to call time on this bullshit perception that men can get away with saying and doing whatever they want. 

We owe it to our daughters, to be able to tell them that we're the reason that they can go out and feel safe. 

We owe it to our sons, to teach them that real men respect women. 

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In recent months, a number of very brave women and men have come forward in order to shine a light on the entertainment industry's shameful and hugely misogynistic underbelly.

The outpouring of stories detailing sexual harassment, abuse and rape at the hands of Hollywood's most powerful men, paved the way for a social media movement which sought to give a voice to women who have fallen victim to a culture weighted in favour of men.

In an attempt to acknowledge this, industry insiders have been been discussing the ways in which they can pay tribute to these victims, and recent reports suggest it may come down to outfit choice at the Golden Globes in January.

"All female actresses attending the Globes are protesting by just wearing black gowns,” a source told PEOPLE in response to rumours that female stars were planning to challenge the current status quo.

Choosing to wear a black ensemble will reportedly act as a symbol of protest against sexual harassment and gender inequality in Hollywood, and ties in with the #AskHerMore movement which seeks to remind the media that female stars are capable of discussing more than 'who they're wearing' on the red carpet.

"AskHerMore is fundamentally about treating women as full human beings rather than objects," documentary filmmaker Jennifer Siebel Newsom explains. "And I think #MeToo is about the same thing."

"I hope red carpet interviewers ask about the power the media has to make a difference in the world, how those involved in creating it can set a better example and the importance of broadening who gets to have a say in creating that media."

The reports come following an announcement that next year's Screen Actor's Guild Awards will feature an all-female presenting panel.

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