15 things you’ll only hear at a GAA match

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Jun 17, 2014

The true GAA experience is unique to Ireland – and we should be proud of it! Here are some things you will only ever hear at a GAA match:

1. “Who won the Minor?”
Usually heard before the start of a big championship match, it is tradition for the minor (U18) match to be a curtain raiser for the senior match. Daniel Radcliffe is one celebrity who has a keen interest in the All-Ireland Minor Football Championship.

2. “Ah ref ye bollocks”
Pretty self-explanatory.

3.“Two hands!”
Only said at a hurling match, if a man goes down to pick the ball up with only one hand on his hurl and doesn’t succeed, this is considered one of the cardinal sins of the sport.

4.“Pull on it!”
Again, unique to hurling. If there’s a bit of a scuffle in the middle of the pitch around the ball and nobody can pick it up, the most popular opinion in the crowd at this stage is to “pull on it”. Translation: Swing at the ball on the ground as hard as you can in the direction of the other team’s goal.

5. “One of ye!”
Only one man on a team should go for a high ball at any one time. If more than one goes up for it and the team end up losing the ball, there is a chorus of this phrase heard from the crowd.

6. “Breaking ball!”
Again to do with the high ball. This refers to when the ball is not caught clean by one of the guys going up for it, and becomes up for grabs between the surrounding players. Winning the ‘breaking ball’ is considered to be one of the most important parts of gaelic football.

7. “Go down on it!”
The difference between gaelic football and soccer is that you can pick the ball up, and players are expected to do so at the first opportunity.

8. “Take your point!”
As most of you know, goals are worth three points in GAA. The problem with this is that as a result, some players feel the need to always go for goals, even if they have an opportunity to put the ball over the bar.

9. “Goal was on…”
This is the opposite to the previous point, where there actually was an opportunity to score a goal, but instead the player decided to go for the easy option and score a point.

10. “Get an umpire down there!”
When a point is given and the other team disagrees with that decision, the solution is to get their own umpire down there to even things up. Only heard at club matches where hawkeye is not available.

11. “Will you do umpire?”
Of course when an umpire is needed, nobody wants to do it, because you miss out on the craic on the sideline.

12. “Ah Ref that’s a black card”
A new phrase this year with the introduction of the new card. The black is given to a player if they commit a certain type of cynical foul, and it means that they have to be substituted off for the rest of the game. The problem is that people haven’t quite got the grasp of what types of foul warrant a black card, and this results in the supporters wanting a black card for every foul that the other team commits.

13. “Somebody hit him!”
Surprisingly, supporters are not asking one of their team to punch the guy with the ball. They are instead asking someone to tackle the guy who has ran unopposed for 80 yards down the pitch, and is now bearing down on their goal.

14. “I hear he’s flying in training”
If a new player is starting a match and supporters are confused as to why, in 99% of cases this is the reason given.

15. “Ah sure we’ll go in for a look”

Because nothing tastes better after a GAA match than a pint. Or 12.

via our content partner CT

The types of people your friends turn into on nights out

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Jun 17, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Your friends turn into completely different people on nights out. Your quietest friend suddenly turns into a maniac once she gets a blue WKD into her hand while the really opinionated girl gets very subdued once the alcohol hits. What is going on?! Here are the types of people your friends turn into on nights out:

1. The one that shouts in your ear
They’re not really aware of how loud they’re speaking and the gibberish that they’re coming out with. They don’t seem to be in control of their hands, any minute now they will spill their pint all over you.

2. The creep
They seem to just vanish into thin air without a trace left behind. They slither around like a snake looking for their prey. They spend most of the night roaming around the club looking for the appropriate guy or girl and giving them intense stares.

3. The one on laughing gas
They think that everything is absolutely hilarious and they’re constantly smiling at you. After a while it starts to get really annoying so you tell everyone else that you don’t know them.

4. Duracell bunny
They’re the one that is constantly getting jelly shots and looks like they’re on drugs. They don’t “dance” per say they kind off just jump around with bundles of enthusiasm.

5. The exhibitionist
They want everyone to look at them and always want to be the centre of attention. They will literally do anything to be the life of the party.

6. Too drunk to get in
They don’t even make into the club because they’re so drunk and spend the next half and hour arguing with the bouncer. If they could see themselves and how drunk they look, they wouldn’t let themselves in.

7. Raging bull
They’re always looking for an excuse to start a fight. Anytime anyone even looks in your direction it’s grounds for them to fly off the handle.

8. “This is my song!!”
They scream and shout when they hear a song: “OMG!! this is my song,” they drag everyone up onto the dance floor only to realise that it’s not the song they thought it was.

9. Drunk texter
You know their night is not going to end well…

8. The sleeper
When they get really drunk they start to get sleepy and you find them taking a kip in the corner.

9. “What do you mean last orders?!”
They will do anything for just one more pint when the bar closes they don’t want the night to end.

10. Touchy feely
It’s as if they only realise they had senses and so they really enjoying touching things. They can’t get enough of touching their own body and when they’re talking to someone they always have to pat them on the shoulder or put their arm around them.

11. The cheater
They tell everyone that they’re so faithful to their boyfriend or girlfriend. As their friend you have to keep it a secret when you see them eating the face off every guy or girl in the club. Or if you don’t care you could ruin their relationship by taking a picture.

12. The hot mess
Their make -up is always running down their face and they end up walking around with no shoes on because one of their heels broke. They were mixing drinks and now they’re paying for it by getting sick on the street while they’re waiting for a taxi.

13. The emotional trainwreck
In combination with the hot mess this can be a real disaster. When they drink, everything just comes rushing out of them they can’t handle all the emotion. Be careful with what you say to them because anything could set off the waterworks.

14. The acrobat
They’re naturally flexible and will get up on top of tables or counters to show off their moves. God forbid there happens to be a dance cage or a strippers pool in the club.

15. And then there’s … you

via our content partner CT

The official signs that you are well and truly in a relationship

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Jun 16, 2014

by Amber Saunders

The words: “sure it’s only a bit of craic” spring to mind. You possibly had intended it being an isolated shift, but suddenly one text message turns into three and before you know it you are leaving a toothbrush in their bathroom and spooning them every second night. The accusations are flying and you’re friends look like this when they are talking about both of you:

But how do you know when you have reached couplesville? Well, here is the litmus test – signs that prove that you are no longer a single pringle and, in fact, have a boyfriend you didn’t really know about:

1. You wear his clothes

That hoodie is possibly the comfiest ever. Yoink!

2. You spend actual time with each other

Both of you do stuff together that does not revolve around sex. Cinema dates, going for coffee or just binge watching your favourite TV show mean that there is quite possibly more happening than just friends with benefits. And you like it.

3. You have no idea when you were on Tinder last

And you don’t exactly miss it…

4. The text messages are less dirty and more sentimental

Are these feelings….real life feelings of love? Uh oh!

5. You sleep together without actually ‘sleeping together’

Sometimes a cuddle is nice.

6. You can’t remember the last person you shifted that wasn’t them

It definitely wasn’t that good anyway, so no harm.

7. You have your own side in his bed

By the wall, cosy and comfy.

8. You can kiss each other without presuming it will lead somewhere else

If you kiss him before you say goodbye, you are in a relationship my friend.

I hoped that helped the penny drop.

Welcome to relationship-ville. Population: You.

via our content partner CT

The 14 worst things about having braces

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Jun 13, 2014

by Amber Saunders

The brace years were not easy years. Thankfully, you’ve come out the other side, unscathed and with super straight teeth – yay! Looking back, here are some of the hardest things about having braces that you had to deal with:

1. The apprehension that nobody would want to kiss you
This was definitely the worst part of braces. Kissing. Having braces was like having a warning sign on your face that you probably weren’t going to be that much fun to kiss.

2. The first visit to the orthodontist
An orthodontist is not like a dentist. He invaded your mouth and waged war on your gappy teeth.

3. The retainer
If you had really shitty teeth/bone structure your first stop in the process is always a retainer. Having to remove the damn thing at every meal time is the worst…

4. The first time you get train tracks
The first day after getting braces was always the worst. Your lips were all cut and bruised from the metal scraping your mouth at every opportunity, proving that beauty does equal pain.

5. Getting food stuck in your braces on a daily basis
Every.Single. Day.

6. And having people point it out to you in public
“You have some green sh** in your teeth”- Oh the embarrassment.

7. Elastics
Whoever invented these was seriously having a laugh. Removing them to eat was so annoying and any time you laughed too hard they would snap. Also, every time you opened your mouth everyone could see them: “What are those things in your mouth??”

8. Tightening days
These were the worst appointments you had to deal with. The apprehension of knowing you had to get the damn things tightened was the worst.

9. Trying to drink soup while everyone else was eating something chewable
This always came in the day after you had to get them tightened.

10. Having people sing the brace face theme song at you
“Braceface, teenage, boyfriends don’t want to talk about it, it will work out in the end.”

11. Trying to smile with your mouth closed…and failing
No way to hide them..

12. Laughing with a big metal grin
Goofy doesn’t even cover it.

13. Feeling better about yourself when you realised Beyoncé had them too
She really did!

14. Finally getting them off and realising that it was all worth it
One word. Transformation.

via our content partner CT

The 18 things that Irish people always complain about

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Jun 13, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Irish people love complaining. It’s a fact. Here are some of our favourite things to get mad about:

1. The weather forecast
“Ah sure, they said it was going to be sunny and I got lashed on, would they ever make up their mind”. The Irish have a really bad relationship with weather forecasters. Unless they bring good news of course.

2. The bus
Where do you start with the bus?! They are either always late or always early and take the most ridiculous route imaginable. It is also the most unsociable environment ever, and on a warm day it feels like a sauna where everyone’s body odour sort of mushes into one.

3. Politicians
It doesn’t matter who is in office, we will always complain about how they’re ruining the country, even in good times. Our Taoiseach could be Dustin the Turkey, sure it would be funny for a few weeks, but after that we would complain about how we voted in a Turkey.

4. Yanks
They all think that they’re Irish in someway and us Irish are sick of them saying: “Top of the morning to you” and “St.Pattys Days.” They think we’re leprechauns and that we all have ginger hair.

5. Bono
Ireland is divided on Bono. Half the country love him, the other half are jealous he doesn’t have to pay taxes.

6. The Eurovision
“Ah sure, they’re only voting for each other for God’s sake, we only have the Brits.” We have won it 7 times and we’re still complaining about The Eurovision. Ireland doesn’t do wacky, so we throw everything at them: ginger twins, blonde twins, a turkey… Anything!

7. Louis Walsh
We all wonder the same thing when comes it comes to Louis Walsh – how on earth he got on TV. In all fairness, for someone who looks like a failed fashion stylist he did pretty well for himself.

8. Ryan Tubridy
People young and old across the country have a united hatred for The Late Late Show presenter. “Ah no I don’t like him, sure look at him, he is so skinny that has to be unhealthy”. We still haven’t fully gotten over the loss of Ireland’s sweetheart Gay Byrne.

9. The Referee
Anytime there is a GAA match on we will always have a reason to complain. We complain when the ref keeps giving frees and then when he lets everything go. “Jaysus, they’re not a bunch as pansies, it isn’t soccer” or “Come one Ref!! he was pulling his shirt for feck sake”. We can never quite make up our mind.

10. The Kilkenny Hurling team
“Sure, they win it every year for god sake”. Everyone around the country rejoiced last years when someone other than Kilkenny won the Mcarthy Cup. Clare were heroes for a month when they toppled Kilkenny.

11. Eamon Dunphy
The world cup started yesterday and we will all be complaining about Eamon Dunphy’s analysis of the game. We all love to hate him … but now and again he is actually right.

12. Traveling abroad
Us Irish are used to travelling, generations have emigrated far and wide to greener pastures. No matter how many times we travel though, we always leave things to the last minute. Booking our flights, packing, boarding pass and then we forget we left the stove on at home.

13. “Your Man”
“Your know your man? He’s after cheating on his wife, awful all together it is”. Irish people always complain about “your man” and what he has been up to. Even though we don’t have a clue who you’re talking about, we have to act like we know.

14. The Late Late Show
No matter what is on the show, there is always something we can find to complain about. We know about how many letters RTE get when Tommy Tiernan comes on the show.

15. A bad pint
When someone pours a bad pint they might as well start all over again. There is nothing worse than when a pint is rushed and the head is wrong. You say to the barman that it’s grand, but inside you’re raging.

16. Weak tea
The Irish take their tea very seriously, it is in some ways a fine art. When you ask someone else to make you a cup and they don’t make it the way you like, we look at them as if to say “What it is this sh**!!

17. Bouncers
We take not being allowed into a club way too seriously, even though it’s their job.

18. The fear
Every Irish person experiences this on a weekly basis, waking up after a night out and not having a clue what happened the night before. Piecing the night together in your head and then you remember ... SH**!!

via our content partner CT

11 questions you should never ask a tall woman

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Jun 12, 2014

by Amber Saunders

People always assume that being tall is great and that we’re luckier than everyone else – but being tall isn’t always so hot! Here are some questions we are sick of answering:

1. “What HEIGHT are you?”
Taller than you. That’s all you need to know.

2.”Can you get that there?”
Used and abused for our height.

3. “You must get everywhere so much faster.”
Incidentally, yes. Yes we do.

4. “Flying must be fun for you?”
Flying isn’t fun for anyone. Ever. Fact.

5. “Let’s take a selfie. Can you lean down a bit there?”
Can you just stand on your tippie toes, please?

6. “Jesus, I’d love to see the height of you in heels.”
We don’t wear heels.

7. “Does Penneys have a tall girl section?”
On behalf of tall girls everywhere, we’d like to propose this genius idea to Penneys. Please, do your taller customers a massive favour and cut some clothes that will actually cover our bum.

8. “Are your parents really tall too?”
No.

9. “That shower’s a bit low, good luck with that.”
This really is the worst thing ever.

10. “Have you always been that tall?”
Have you always been this stupid?

11. “Finding a man taller than you must be tricky.”

via our content partner CT

The things every woman keeps in her bedside table

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Jun 11, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Yes, we’re hoarders and your bedside table always seems like such a good idea to hide all of those unmentionables … but why?!

Here are some of the more regular, and some not so regular items bound to be found in our bedside tables!

1. Passport
Surely every thief in the world must know where to look for a passport. Everyone uses their underwear drawer as a hiding place.

2. Condoms
If they’re not on your bedside locker then they’re probably in your knicker drawer. Because duh.

3. A box of cigarettes
You don’t smoke, but you bring them on nights out, and this is where they live in between.

4. Bizarre bra
It cost like 50 quid and you wore it one time.

5. Patterned tights
You know the ones that you bought because they were on sale in River Island for €2. You’ll probably end up throwing them out but for now they remain in the drawer unworn and useless.

6. Sexy underwear
You only pull out the big guns for special occasions. You know the exact pants that make your arse look great and the bra that is both flattering and sexy.

7. Granny pants- aka period pants
They’re seriously naff but so so comfy. Even though the elestic is clearly visible you still won’t throw them away.

8. The mini vibrator/sex toy
If there is one place you’re going to stash this it’s probably in here..

9. Mismatched selection of socks
Well this is exactly what you’d expect to find in here. Life is too short to oraganise socks and this is why you can never find a decent pair.

10. Sale items from Ann Summers that you will never ever wear. Ever.
You know the stuff- with straps that you can’t figure out – It kind of scares you a little bit to be honest. Seemed like a good idea at the time though!

11. The Bridget Jones suck-in knickers
You probably bought these for your cousin’s wedding a few years back but they are always there for emergencies. You just hope that know one will ever have to see you in them.

.

12. Bullet proof padded bra
You know the one. The bra that is so padded it could literally protect your boobies from an AK47. It also gives you unrelastic expectations of your cleavage. False advertising.com.

13. Stockings
You bought them to be sexy but every time you attempt to wear them you end up ripping them to shreds. WHY are they so uncomfy?! You just wanted to be Dita Von Teese.

14. Tanning mitt
Raggedy old thing, but always pulled out for nights out.

15. Coppers/pennies
An assortment of currency from countries that you haven’t even been to.

16. Your ex boyfriends old boxers
That you should probably throw away but still wear occasionally… mainly because they’re too comfy to throw out.

via our content partner CT

9 questions you should never ask short women

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Jun 11, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Us short girls don’t have it so easy. Between having to prove just how tough we really are and having to answer your stupid questions, it’s exhausting. Here are some questions you shouldn’t ask a short woman, ever:

1. “Can I pick you up?”
Drunken strangers think it’s perfectly acceptable to pick us up, throw us over their shoulders and do laps of the nightclub dancefloor. So not okay.

2. “How old are you?”
Just because we are small, doesn’t instantly make us 11 years-old!

3. “How are you so small?”
There’s always an emphasis on the “small”. Why are you so tall?

4. “Do you have to shop in the kids section?”
Sometimes. That’s where all the bargains are as well as the pink sparkly shoes so IN YOUR FACE!

5. “How can you eat so much?”
Does our height somehow dictate the size of our stomachs?

6. “Could you fit in there? How bout in there?”
We appreciate your curiosity, and we’ve probably wondered if we could fit in the washing machine too.

7. “Do you want me to put you on my shoulders?”
Usually asked at gigs, this is a really nice gesture. We do appreciate the fact that you’re looking out for us and know that it’s almost impossible for us to see the gig if not at the very front or the very back.

8. “Can I lean on you?”
Using us as an elbow rest is so not cool, you’re squishing our necks!

9. “Can I keep you?”
This is kind of nice, although it’s very patronising. We’re often seen as the kittens of the human race. People love to pet us and cuddle us, it’s kind of weird.

via our content partner CT

Terrible relationship advice we all believed when we were teenagers

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Jun 10, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Here are some things we all belived about love when we were naive teenagers, thank God we’ve grown up…

1. X’s are key to success

The amount of X’s he put at the end of a text measured how much he loved you. Fact.

2. Who is the other half of you?

If you didn’t have another half of Bebo, you were no one.

3. Showcase your love at every given chance

PDA’s were a part of life back in your teen years. The more you shifted him in public, the more people knew he was YOURS!!

4. Pet names are an essential aspect of any relationship

“Hey baaaaabe” … “Snugglebunny” … can anyone say PUKE?! And also, “criiinge” on remembering that we too did this back in the day.

5. Being Cupid is your main talent in life and you should probably pursue it as a career

Pity it wasn’t a subject in the Leaving Cert you thought to yourself on the day of the repeats.

6. A minimum of fifty texts a day must be sent, or it is not true and viable love

Seriously, the amount of credit you went through is frightening.

7. Putting out does not make you easy, it makes you unbelievably cool

Once again, fuelling those cringey memories we have to live with.

8. They say personality is the most important thing, but looks are all that really matter

Sure, you got to shift the hottie from the hurling team, but then all he talked about for four whole weeks was…well, hurling! So not worth the street cred.

via our content partner CT

8 TV shows we watched as kids that are actually not suitable

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Jun 10, 2014

by Amber Saunders

In hindsight, some of these shows are actually incredibly unsuitable for little kids, what were our parents thinking?! Then again, we turned out okay…right?

1. Ren and Stimpy
How this ever got classed as a kid’s show is beyond us. It’s gross and has so many sexual undertones it’s unbelievable!

2. Braceface
The show’s composition of having it’s main character as an insecure teenage girl (Sharon) with braces is bad enough in itself. Throughout the series, Sharon’s braces would often act as magnets causing her to get into embarrassing situations. The show basically taught teenage girls that braces will bring you nothing but embarrassment and unwanted attention.

3. Arthur
There isn’t anything morally wrong with Arthur and his animal friends; he’s a good kid, who sometimes fights with his little sister D.W and gets into trouble, but he always learns his lesson. But he’s no craic. You can feck right off with your library card lads.

4. The Magic Schoolbus
The thoughts of going to school and having your lizard-loving teacher taking you on daily school trips to the past, the universe or wherever was mind-blowing. But on reflection, it’s very possible that Ms. Frizzle was slipping the kids acid in their juice box on the daily.

5. Shin-Shan
In this Japanese magna series, which was usually only shown at 6am, we followed the shenanigans of Shin Chan. A cheeky little fellow, who loved pulling down his pants and sticking sparklers in his arsehole. A bit of a laugh as a child if you ask me, but as a parent? No way.

6. Pokèmon
Animal rights anyone? Anyone?

7. The Wild Thornberrys
Eliza nearly died in almost all of those episodes. Shouldn’t we be teaching children NOT to approach dangerous jungle animals? Like, seriously?

8. The Rugrats
Absolute rascals. This show encouraged its young viewers to use their imagination when it came to adventures. But what it actually taught us was that you’ll always have more fun if you disobey your parents and go for an adventure in prohibited places.

via our content partner CT

18 best childhood crazes ’90s kids went through

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Jun 9, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Every young Irish person lived through these crazes during the ’90s – from Pokemon to Bebo, we loved them all!

1. Pokemon
Pokemon was probably the biggest craze of the ’90s; from video games to collecting cards, you had to catch them all! Sorry…

2. Yu-Gi-Oh!
Slightly less popular (or cool) as Pokemon, nonetheless this craze had a massive following back in the ’90s and early ’00s.

3. Polly Pocket
Every girl had a Polly Pocket – and all the cool girls had LOADS of Polly Pockets. Looking back, those small parts cannot be good for kids to play with.

4. Tamagotchi
These were supposed to be like having a pet without actually having a pet. When they got abandoned after a week, we finally realised why we weren’t allowed to get a dog after all.

5. Light-Up runners
These made you run faster. Fact. Not good to wear during Hide n’ Seek.

6. Scooters/Skateboards/Rollerblades
These are all still pretty cool, but our tricks have gotten a little rusty.

7. Learning to draw this
And it was always way cooler of your name began with an ‘S’!

8. Paper fortune tellers
It didn’t matter how many of these were confiscated, you can always make more.

9.Polyphonic Ringtone
When you give out about teenagers blasting their annoying music over their phones, remember that you used to be one of them. Except you were ten times more annoying because it was ringtones you were blasting!

10. Crazy Frog

Historically the most annoying sound on the planet.

11. Snake
This amazing game is still so addictive and fun if you can find an old enough Nokia to play the original on!

12. Scoubidou bracelets
They look so intricate but once you get the hang of it you give one to everyone you know. Including you nan.

13. Charity Wristbands
Not just for a good cause, if you had these, you were the coolest kid around.

14. MSN
Aww, staying up till midnight chatting over messenger to ‘that boy’ – we really hope those convos have been deleted forever.

Bebo
Bebo stunnahhs 2k07 4eva oh yeah!

via our content partner CT

We all got a little bit crazy during some of these fads. The only hope can be that you didn’t lose too many friends over any of them, and that scare from the fight you had with your best friend over a Charizard Pokemon card isn’t that noticeable anymore.