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break-ups

Kaitlynn Carter has opened up about her relationship with Miley Cyrus in an essay for Elle. The 31-year-old admitted that being in love with Miley felt ‘right’ but short-lived.

She explained that she is still not ready to label her sexuality, but stressed that what she had with Miley was more than a summer fling.

“I began to spend a lot of time traveling on my own or with friends, quietly mourning what I knew in my heart would soon be the end of my marriage,” Kaitlynn began.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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“Shortly thereafter, as my friend and I spent that August travelling through Europe together and trying to move past our respective break-ups, my first and only romance with a woman was born,” she shared.

Kaitlynn revealed that she fell as hard for Miley as she did for past partners. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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“It was that same familiar force of nature; I didn’t have to think about a thing or overanalyze. It just happened and it felt exactly right. Reflecting back on our three-year friendship, I realized I’d always been drawn to her in a way I wasn’t with other friends, but until that trip it had never crossed my mind to think of her in a romantic sense,” she shared.

Despite their breakup, Kaitlynn said she will forever be thankful for what she shared with Miley.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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“I’ll remain eternally grateful to my most recent relationship for opening my eyes to this unexplored part of myself, and for inspiring a new level of self-discovery and wonder at all the possibilities of life.

“I’ve been forced to get to know myself in a far deeper way than ever before, and not just in terms of my sexual preferences. I’ve also been forced to reckon with who I am as a person,” she confessed.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Kaitlynn stressed that their relationship taught her so much more than she ever expected, “This was a profound journey of self-discovery. For the first time, I listened to myself, forgot about the “norm”, and lived. I hope that everyone, when given the chance, takes the time to understand who exactly their most authentic selves are, untethered from what we may have been taught to believe. 

“Remain curious. Know that there are many layers within you—and they just might be the most invaluable ones,” she concluded.

You can read Kaitlynn’s full essay here.

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We've all been there; giving yourself lactose intolerance from the sheer volume of Ben & Jerry's eaten, tear-stained pillow cases and drowning our sorrows in tequila.

Nope, that's not just our weekend plans…we're referring to the age old reality of break-ups.

You can rant about your ex for weeks, chant self-love quotes from Queer Eye to yourself for the rest of your days and get involved in the rebound game- but it's hard to deny how hard it is to go through heartbreak.

Psychologist Guy Winch, who wrote How to Fix a Broken Heart, helps us out by debunking some common myths surrounding heartbreak

He explains how the pain of heartbreak lingers only as long as you allow it to. Sounds absurd? Let's take a look at his tips for handling break-ups. We need 'em.

“Functional MRI Brain scan studies have shown that the withdrawal of romantic love activates the same mechanisms in the brain as get activated when addicts go through withdrawal from substances like cocaine or opioids,” the TED speaker told The Independent.

"In other words, love is addictive and heartbreak causes us to go through powerful withdrawal," he continues. Love is a drug? This explains why we can obsess over our former loves almost like a deprived craving.

Winch emphasises that this is why it can be so difficult to move on to someone else. We tend to idealise our exes, and our rose-tinted glasses distort out memories of them. This convinces us that our romanticised vision of them is the reality.

“You have to make sure that any thoughts you have about an ex are realistic and balanced,” Winch insists.

“If your mind conjures up images of your happiest weekend together, you need to add in the images from the weekend that drove you crazy and upset you tremendously," he advises. He's like a mind ninja.

“If you find yourself longing for their sweet embrace, you should remember the nights they rejected our advances and slept on the far edge of the bed," Winch elaborates.

Another suggestion of his is to write down a list of reasons why the relationship failed, to keep you grounded. Acceptance of the notion of "being dumped" can also be tough, and usually leads to self-pity.

It seems like your ex is out there living their best single life, but actually they've been emotionally disengaged from the relationship for a long time. “By the time the break-up happens, they are essentially over the relationship,” Winch said.

“However, the person who got dumped is just finding out and is in the most initial stages of grief and loss." It's an imbalance, essentially.

Winch has some stellar advice for avoiding the common traps that people fall into, the main one being; NEVER check their social media. Your ex will only become more present in your mind, and this means it's even harder to quit fantasising about them.

He also advises to avoid creating mysteries about why the break-ups occurred, as this makes your ex even more prominent in your thoughts. Downgrade them, basically. Stick with the facts at all times, and try to uphold your self-esteem.

They were possibly unwilling to commit, they drifted emotionally or else they just weren't the person you thought they were; in any case, it's over and you need to move on. List out all the compromises you had to make in that relationship that you wouldn't do again.

Keep doing the fun things that made you feel like you. Don't lapse on your own enjoyment of activities, and your daily life. Going through the motions signals to yourself that life goes on and time heals all wounds.

Reach out to your pals and embrace their support. Heartbreak is ubiquitous and you can use all the advice you can get. You'll learn a lot from other people's experiences.

Take the reminders of the relationship out of your routine, such as texts or old photos from your phone. Delete their number, any kind of reminder will most likely cause you distress and pain.

We have to say; Winch is one wise man. Psychology can teach us a lot about love and break-ups; our mind is just as important as our hearts when it comes to moving on.

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If you're a social media lover in Ireland, and addicted to beauty and cosmetic products, you have DEFINITELY heard of Niamh Cullen and Aideen Kate.

As two of the country's biggest influencers, with a following of 200,000 followers between them. they're a force to be reckoned with.

Niamh focuses more on lifstyle, health and fitness, and Aideen is the queen of make-up on Instagram. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Now the pair have officially joined forces to produce a weekly podcast together, and we couldn't be more excited,

The gals captioned their first post on the new Instagram page, Influencer is a Dirty Word;

"New podcast coming Sunday. Episode 1: How To Deal With A Breakup. Grab your hunnies and some snacks (or some dranks), available on YouTube."

Image: @niamhcullenx/Instagram

The two teased their new project via their Instagram stories yesterday, saying, "How to deal with a break-up? Or how to help a friend dealing with a break-up? Go!!!" 

Niamh and Aideen suggested that their followers ask them questions, but their fans had no idea that a podcast was coming.

We're assuming that Influencer is a Dirty Word is about life as Instagram royalty, brand ambassadors and garnering a following of thousands, while looking and feeling great.

Image: @niamhcullenx/Instagram

This is major news for the influencer industry, which is growing more and more competitive.

We can't wait to hear all their gossip about their work-life, wellness tips and discussions about young women going through problems in their daily lives. 

The gals are unreal on their own, but we're delighted they've decided to come together for the magic of podcasts. It's sure to be a great one to listen to with your mates and a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

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Many of us know the 'symptoms' of falling in love; dry mouth, racing heartbeat, nervous sweating (hey- no judgement here) and even dizziness.

Be it love at first sight, a lustful locking of eyes across the room, fizzling sexual chemistry or even just plain HORMONES; it's a massively powerful experience.

Seeing as Valentine's Day, dread it or delight in it, is only 31 days away, we've decided to get our reading glasses on and find the science behind LURVE.

We're not the only publication carrying out extensive and important research into Cupid; scientists at the University of California have delved deeper to attempt to discover what happens to our bodies.

Apparently, that euphoric high that can occur when the flame is lit might be due to your GENES, according to Stylist.

The University of California were itching to discover how love affects the genes which control our immune systems, and took blind samples from 47 young women as they engaged in brand new relationships.

Genetic changes were monitored as the women fell in love over the course of two years with a new partner, and the scientists recently published their findings in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology.

According to the researchers; “Falling in love is one of the most psychologically potent experiences in human life. New romantic love is accompanied not only by psychological changes, but physiological changes as well.”

feel better in love GIF

The journal claims that when the women in their sample fell in love, their genes produces interferon- a protein most commonly deployed to fight viruses within the human body. 

"These findings are consistent with a selective up-regulation of innate immune responses to viral infections… and provide insight into the immuno-regulatory correlates of one of the keystone experiences in human life,” the scientists claim.

As women later fell out of love with their respective partners, their production of interferon was reduced. WHOA.

The experts assert that; “Some research suggests that psychological changes associated with romantic love may be attenuated as the relationship matures,” the experts said.

“The biological correlates of love might abate with the maturation of a longer-term more stable mate bond.”

jim carrey love GIF

Though the scientists don't yet know the exact reason for women producing an increase of interferon, they're pondering the idea that it may be to prepare for PREGNANCY. Whoa x2. 

Researchers now believe that men's genetic response probably isn't the same as women's. Typical lads.

Previous scientific investigations found that both regions of our brains interact as we fall deeply in lurve.

The 'feel good' neurotransmitter dopamine is distributed across our brains when the ventral tegmental area and caudate nucleus work in tangent with each other. 

Basically, in English this means that as we become romantically involved with someone, we start craving their presence.

The craving gets deeper as we fall more deeply in love with them, hence the feeling of lovesick obsession.

i love you GIF

Experiencing heartbreak can also affect our bodies, apparently.

No, not just bloating from all that Ben & Jerry's.Though that's a definite contributing factor…

Intense rejection activates the area of our brains that deal with physical pain, and research alleges that our bodies are literally more physically sensitive when we go through a break-up or romantic rejection.

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Men and women deal with break-ups in different ways.

Some sign themselves up for three solid months of gorging on Ben & Jerry's and not changing out of their pjs and others, well, they get right back in the saddle.

When it comes to having sex again after a relationship comes to an end, the figures are kinda surprising.

A new study says that 44% of men and 23% of women admit to feeling good after hooking up, post-split. .

And how long do most men wait before jumping into bed with someone new?

Three months, while the research showed that women tended to wait five months. 

How do these people meet their next hook-up?

It seems that through mutual friends is the most common way, with dating apps like Tinder and Bumble coming  second and at a bar coming in third. 

The study also found some pretty interesting facts and figures about dating. 

When it comes to lying, men and women were least truthful about the number of people they’ve slept with, followed by income for men and weight for women.

Worryingly, guys were twice as likely than women to blame their single status on their friends and almost 2 in 3 people blamed themselves for being single.

Guys, don't be so hard on yourselves – the perfect person for you is out there. 

In the meantime, enjoy the single lyf –  you might miss it when it's gone. 

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As if breaks ups weren't hard enough, the age of the internet has made in near impossible to completely extinguish our past flames.

Between checking their 'last active' time on What'sApp and examining their body language in that new Facebook picture, social media can be one of the biggest burdens in the lives of the newly single.

Wouldn't it be great if there we could just block it all out for a while?

Well, the good folk over at Facebook have heard our post-breakup cries for help and have developed a feature that will do just that.

Introducing 'Take A Break' – a new option that allows users to block out all reminders of their ex-partner immediately after a relationship ends.

In a statement, the social media giant said: "Millions of people break up on Facebook each week, changing their relationship status from 'in a relationship' to 'single'."

"Research on peoples' experiences after break-ups suggests that offline and online contact, including seeing an ex-partner's activities, can make emotional recovery more difficult."

It will broken down into three sub-options: See less of someone; Limit someone's ability to see your posts and post you're tagged in; Edit who can see past posts.

What's more, a new 'snooze' option will allow users to hide a person, page or group for 30 days, meaning you can take a step back without actually having to awkwardly unfriend someone.

Hallelujah!

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No matter how much we might want to break the mould, when it comes to break-ups, we generally do the same thing over and over again.

After kissing goodbye to the latest relationship, many of us crawl beneath a duvet, eat our weight in chocolate and only re-emerge if someone mentions the word gin.

And by the sounds of things, Perrie Edwards of Little Mix fame is keen for us to break the cycle.

Commenting on the motivation behind Shout Out To My Ex, she explained that the Little Mix ladies wanted their break-up song to be empowering rather than maudlin.

"When people go through breakups, you automatically want to hear really sad songs," Perrie told E! News.

"You want to listen to Un-Break My Heart and have a little cry, get a tub of ice cream out. "We just thought, 'You know what? Women need to feel empowered," she continued.

"Everybody needs to feel empowered after a breakup and we feel like this song can relate to everyone because everybody’s had an ex."

"We have each other luckily, so we experience everything together and we’ve always got each other’s backs," she said.

In fairness, we could easily listen to Shout Out To My Ex while devouring a tub of Haagen Dazs, so technically everyone's a winner.

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When it comes to romance, the ladies in Little Mix have had their fair share of misfortune, but it sounds like they all subscribe to the 'Sisters Before Misters' school of thought if their recent interview with Jonathan Ross is anything to go by.

Amid reports that Jesy Nelson and Jake Roche have called time on their engagement, the Shout Out To My Ex singers grabbed a seat on Jonathan's sofa and revealed that they were able to navigate their break-ups with the help of their bandmates.

In the interview which is due to air tonight, Jesy told Jonathan: "That's what's lovely about being in a group, we all literally support each other and when we're going through bad times we can all relate to it."

Reflecting on her high-profile split from Zayn Malik last year, Perrie said: ""For a normal girl to go through something like that it's hard."

"I think when the whole world is looking at it and talking about it, you feel a bit affected by it."

Like Perrie, Leigh-Anne Pinnock also saw the end of her relationship, but insists her place in the band meant she got through it relatively well.

"When I split up with my ex, I was thinking 'I have got my three best friends, what does it matter?' she said.

"I'm so lucky to have these girls and that's how we feel all the time. We're the best of friends. People don't believe that we actually get on as well." she added.

According to reports this week, Jesy decided to end her engagement to fiance Jake after growing frustrated by his lack of interest in their wedding.

So, it sounds like Jesy is going to need her girls more than ever right now.
 

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For most of us, break-ups and Adele albums go hand-in-hand, but what does the queen of splitsville soundtracks listen to when she herself is going through a break-up?

While we'd like to imagine her tearfully wailing Someone Like You while trawling through his Facebook page, the singer (obvs) steers clear of her own back catalogue.

Speaking to People magazine about her own personal process, the 28-year-old Londoner – who is currently in a happy relationship with the father of her child – said: "I mope around for a little while. I do embrace the fact that I'm heartbroken. I don't move quickly,"

Adele explained that she relies on Bonnie Raitt's Can't Make You Love Me, Mumford and Sons' After the Storm, David Gray's This Year's Love and Katy Perry's Not Like The Movies to navigate those tricky weeks and months post-break up.

And while the rest of us make bad decisions regarding alcohol, ice cream and other men in the aftermath, Adele can generally make a positive from a negative during this time. (Hello, multiple Grammy awards)

Commenting on this talent, the When We Were Young singer simply said: "I don't know if that's because it seems that I'm only really creative when I'm a bit momentarily depressed."

All we get out of a break-up is a hatred for certain restaurants and an attachment to a football team we thought we despised.

 

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As well as tracking movement, FitBits can also monitor our pulse and heartrate, showing us dips and spikes throughout the day. 

And when Israeli FitBit owner Koby Sato got dumped last week, he noticed some pretty interesting stats for his heart rate at the end of the day.

Koby's heart rate normally rests at around 72 beats per minute (bpm), but when he got an unexpected call from his boyfriend to end their relationship, that heart rate jumped right up to 88 bpm.

His heart rate remained high for the rest of the day, once even spiking to 118 bpm – we're guessing that was the standard "OH GOD I'M GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER" moment we've all experienced at one point or another.

Speaking about the results, Koby said he thought it was a cool way to prove that heart break really does affect how we feel.

friends phoebe heartbreak break up breaking up

"Everyone understands heartbreak, right? Everyone’s felt it. When you have this, it’s interesting – you have something to show."

We'd like to see Koby's ex-boyfriend's heart rate when he realises his break-up's just gone viral…

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From broken engagements to affairs with the nanny, it's been a trying year for celebrity romances.

First, our little hearts were shattered by Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield calling off their oh-so adorable relationship. But before we even had time to re-adjust, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner pulled the plug on their marriage after a massive TEN years together.

It's a wonder we have any faith left in relationships at all. Thank God for Kim and Kanye, eh?

Here are just some of the celebrity break-ups that had us shaking our heads in disbelief…

1. Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards
After being snapped with his arm around another woman in Thailand, Zayn abandoned the One Direction tour to fly home to his fiancée Perrie for crisis talks. But within weeks he had quit both the band AND his engagement. He's since moved on with Gigi Hadid, of course, which we doubt Perrie's too happy about.

 

2. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick
​It certainly wasn't the most perfect of celeb relationships, but these two had serious staying power, having made it through nine years with various trips to rehab (Scott), constant attention from E! cameras (Kourtney) and three kids. Since the split, Kourtney has been letting Scott back into her life, but it remains to be seen whether they'll reunite.

 

3. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
In what was possibly the most jaw-dropping celebrity moment of the year, Ben and Jen called time on their ten-year marriage, before flying off to the Bahamas… together. Then, of course, it transpired that Ben had been dating the family nanny. Well, he did say marriage was "hard work" during his 2013 Oscar acceptance speech.

 

4. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
We still can't believe these two are no more. They split briefly in February 2015, only to reunite a few months on and split again just three months ago. And with that, our faith in love was killed forever.

 

5. Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder
​Within weeks of his split from Eleanor last spring, Louis began seeing LA-based stylist Briana Jungwirth. He's no longer dating Bri, but the pair are in fact expecting a child together. Not the smoothest ending to Louis and Eleanor's four-year pairing.

 

6. Liam Payne and Sophia Smith
Another One Direction romance that ended with a bang. We hoped Liam and Sophia might last the distance, but the 1D star admitted in November that their split was the right choice, despite him being "absolutely devastated." Maybe they'll get back together now that 1D have kicked off their hiatus? *crosses fingers*

 

7. Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale
​First, Blake Shelton splits from Miranda Lambert. Then, Gwen splits from Gavin. And within weeks, Blake and Gwen promptly start dating. Oh, the rollercoaster world of celebrity romance.

 

8. Vogue Williams and Brian McFadden
​Despite having split back in July after two years of marriage, Brian and Vogue seem as pally as ever, even remaining in their London home together for three months after breaking up. Another couple we *kinda* hope might re-kindle their flame.

 

9. Courteney Cox and Johnny McDaid
​These two were set to descend on Ashford Castle in Co Mayo for the celebrity wedding of the year, before calling their engagement off just last month. According to some sources, Snow Patrol rocker Johnny wanted to make a move to the UK, but Courteney couldn't bear to say farewell to her life in Malibu.

 

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Taylor Swift has made herself the ultimate queen of break up songs and has written hit tracks about her long list of celebrity exes including John Mayer, Taylor Lautner and Jake Gyllenhaal. 

Sure even Harry Styles references (we assume) Taylor in One Direction's latest track Perfect. 

"If you want someone you can write you're break up songs about, baby I'm perfect," gushes Harry from behind the microphone and we ALL know who that is about. 

But Taylor is not the only one whose love life plays out in music. Here is a list of other celebrity romances immortalised in a super catchy pop song. 

1. Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas 

Before Miley became the strap-on wearing, tongue out popstrel that we know today, she was busy penning songs like 7 Things about her first love, Joe Jonas. 

And while it may sound like an upbeat pop song, Miley was actually heart broken about her break up to Nick as demonstrated by these angst-ridden lyrics. 

"Just know it hurts, I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do, you make me love you."

2. Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears 

I think many of us 90s kids can remember where we were when we first saw the video for Cry me a River and spent many an hour trying to figure out if that really WAS meant to be about Britney. 

It would seem that Justin was pretty mad about the whole break up if these lyrics are to be believed. 

"You don't have to say, what you did, I already know, I found out from him."

Ouch. 

3. Ed Sheeran and Ellie Goulding 

When Ed Sheeran's Don't hit the airwaves last year, we were all wondering where the sweet A-Team singer had gone. 

These lyrics, which detail Ed's brief romance with Ellie Goulding, sure as hell don't hold back. 

"I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different.
This is not the way you realise what you wanted."

And Ellie was quick to retaliate with the first single off her upcoming album, On My Mind. 

"Next thing that I know I'm in a hotel with you. You were talking deep like it was mad love to you. You wanted my heart but I just liked your tattoos."

What a mess. 

4. Kanye West and Amber Rose 

Kanye's track, Blame Game, caused a major Twitter row between this former couple. 

While no one actually knows what REALLY happened during this highly dramatic breakup, both accused each other of cheating and Amber often blames Kim K for the ultimate breakup. 

"Things used to be, now they not. Anything but us is who we are, Disguising ourselves as secret lovers, We've become public enemies. We walk away like strangers in the street. Gone for eternity."

Deep. 

5. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber 

Selena wrote The Heart Wants What it Wants to try and explain why she kept going back to the Biebs. 

And we get it, young love is hard y'all. 

"Save your advice 'cause I won't hear. You might be right but I don't care. There's a million reasons why I should give you up."

At least now it seems it may be over for good. Niall Horan anyone? 

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