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friendship

We all know that there's a distinct hierarchy when it comes to friendship. And the older you get the more emphasis you place on quality over quantity in terms of the squad, and who you let into your life.

Most of us will attest that our friendships with various people have evolved over the years, but if you're lucky you will have one person who has been a constant in your life since you first clapped eyes on each other.

You struggle to articulate the strength of your bond, you question whether some cosmic force ensured you met and you're forever grateful to be able to call this person your BFF.

And why do they take the crown? Well, for the following 7 reasons…

1. That time they saw you at your worst… and didn't hold it against you

We've all been guilty of behaving in a manner that makes our toes curl when we look back on that period of our lives.

Whether it was neglecting your friends, adopting a new (and unlikable) persona or choosing to rail against the people who loved you, there's a chance you went through a time when you mightn't have truly deserved your BFF.

And yet she stuck around….because she's a keeper, and truly believed you were too.

2. That time they allowed you to be right… even when you were wrong

There are certain times in our lives when we need to tell ourselves we were right in order to justify something we've done or said.

And a true soul sister will allow you to grab hold of that notion with both hands if she thinks it will genuinely help.

Don't expect her to do it on the regular though, that Get Out of Jail Free card doesn't come in daily form.

3. That time they sacrificed something… just for you

It could have been an outfit, it could have been an event, it could have been anything important to them, but they decided to let go of it in order to help you.

What about the time you vowed to start focussing on your health, and she rocked up on your doorstep with an armload of Avonmore Super Milk and a promise to sacrifice her daily fizzy drink to down one of those bad boys alongside you?

And what about that time she endured Lent with you because she knew you needed some hand-holding….

4. That time they made you laugh… even when you thought it was impossible

We've all endured times when it felt like nothing or no one would be able to jumpstart us out of our bleak, bleak mood.

Enter that one particular person who doesn't even have to try to buoy you, but manages to by their very presence alone.

One hour later and you've an ache from laughing so hard… yup, been there.

5. That time they forgave you… when you're not sure you could have done the same

Look, no one is perfect and there will have been times when you wronged your BFF (unintentionally or not) and they simply drew a line under the incident.

And the most heartening part? They managed to do it with ease when you genuinely don't know if you could have done the same without kicking up a fuss.

Bottom line is though; fuss or not, you would have done it…. eventually.

6. That time they told you the truth… even when it was difficult for them

You know that time they let you be right even when you were wrong, and the way that's pretty damn rare?

Well, that's because there will have been times when they just had to tell you the truth no matter how difficult it was for them.

They did it with your best interest at heart even though it may have required a stiff gin and a deep breath to get it out.

7. That time they believed in you… and made you do it too.

Like those foul humours you thought you'd never get through, there have been times when you struggled to muster up any self-belief whatsoever.

Whether it was due to a bad run of luck, a disappointment in work or a sudden dip in self-esteem, your BFF was the one person who helped you build your confidence back up.

This person has your back, and will always be your number one cheerleader.

 

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In this day and age, it's not surprising that there's an app for friendships.

At first glance, it seems a bit ridiculous. There are countless ways to makes friends, right? But then again, aren't there countless ways to meet a potential partner?

When I was a kid, my four next door neighbours/best friends moved away, and while I was crying at their doorstep, my mam told me that "everything changes."

While it seemed like a pretty obvious thing to say to me at the time, I never realised how much it would stand to me as I grew older.

Image result for friendship gif

Friends that I thought would be in my life forever have long gone. And friends that are still in my life are constantly busy… and that's OK.

We have jobs. We're in college. We fell in love. We moved abroad… We moved on.

But, it's when you want to go for a cocktails or a walk along the seafront, and get replies along the lines of 'I have no money!' or 'I need to study' or [insert quickly made-up excuse here], you realise not as many people are there for you as there used to be.

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In Ireland, statistics from Eurofound’s Quality of Life survey saw that 35 per cent of people feel lonely in this country. So, in theory, it's kind of genius to make an app that appeals to those people.

Hey! Vina is a Tinder-esque service for finding friends which a writer for Stylist tried out. When she met up with a potential BFF, by the end of the night, the same thing ran through her head; Everyone moves on.

"She clutches a suitcase for the full duration of the evening, which seems an ominous reminder of what drove me here in the first place: the aforementioned transience of modern life."

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Even though this app, which has recently been rolled out worldwide, might be grand for a random coffee; friendships need time to bloom, and meeting with strangers just doesn't do it for me.

You need a bond. You need to understand them. You need to be there for the other person through everything.

Can an app do that?

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Being single on Valentine's Day definitely isn't the ideal situation, but choosing to celebrate your love for your friends instead of your lack of romance IS. 

Grab your nearest and dearest gal pals and celebrate your friendship on February 14th with some wine, movies and good old fashioned reminiscing. 

Romantic relationships can be fleeting, but your girls are there for life. Here's what to get your bestie ahead of the big day to show her that you love her, from jokey underwear to friendship tattoos.  

Left to right: Bad Girls Throughout History – €18.70

Heart ring – €9.40

LUSH Cupid Bath Bomb – €3.50

ASOS Studded flats – €37.33

Left to right: LUSH Love & Kisses set – €27.95

Temporary Friendship Tattoos – €3.85 

ASOS Heartbreaker nightie – €24.00

The Mindfullness Colouring Book – €10.00

Left to right: O.P.I Nail Laquer in Rosy Future – €10.70

ASOS Pyjama set – €17.32

Besties Keyring set – €7.72

River Island underwear set – €34.00

Left to right: Mug – €6.00

Pompom Hat – €9.00
 
 
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We'd be lost without our friends, and how many of you remember first meeting your BFF?

Was it in school, at camogie practice, or did you randomly bump into them at the middle green in your estate?

Sometimes, having that one friend is the only thing to prop you up in those dark days, and as it turns out, just like love, friendship at first sight is a legit thing that helps us along the way.

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We all see and hear about love at first sight, and often wish that couple who stumbled upon each other in the pub and instantly hit it off was us, but seeing that it can happen with friends has totally lifted our spirits (because we rather have fab BFFs than a boy, any day).

A recent article in the New York Magazine explored the theory and proved that it is actually quite scientific.

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One of the studies investigates the lurrrrve side of things, and states that if you believe it will happen, it will happen. 

And so, the same thing happens with friendship at first sight. So, while finding your BFF4L is great and everything, it's based on very real science.

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If you get a good feeling about a person from the start, you generally make a lot of effort to keep them in your circle and explore where that relationship will go.

And on the flip-side, if you get a feeling like that girl is covering something up, you're not going to want to include her in your everyday life, and will try find anything to validate your feelings that there's something off about her.

So, at the end of the day, it's all down to your gut feeling.

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Lorde celebrated her 20th birthday yesterday, and of course her BFF Taylor Swift had a few things to say about it.

The brunette beauty is part of Tay-Tay's squad and are often seen out and about together, whether it's hitting the hottest NYC party or just grabbing a cup of coffee together.

Well, T-Swift is about to get some major BFF brownie points because she wrote the sweetest tribute to Lorde, also known as Ella, on her special day.

"Thank you for the music you make, the advice you give, the thoughts you provoke, and the way you've made my life more beautiful since the first day we met up in New York and ate burgers on a park bench and got attacked by squirrels.

 

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

She finished off the post with, "I. Love. You. So. Much. Ella."

If that's not friendship goals, we don't know what is.

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With the Kardashians uploading every second of their gruelling workouts to Snapchat, it’s easy to be under the impression that all celebs take their gym time super seriously.

But thankfully Ellie Goulding and Ruby Rose proved that suspicion wrong over the weekend when they decided to play fitness models for their fans.

A video uploaded to the Orange Is the New Black star’s Instagram account shows the Love Me Like You Do singer trying to do a set of pull-ups in the gym.

But when the camera scrolls down, viewers quickly realise that Ellie is receiving some much needed assistance from her Aussie mate.

 

@elliegoulding and I trying to be Instagram fitness models

A video posted by Ruby Rose (@rubyrose) on

Since the post is captioned “@elliegoulding and I trying to be Instagram fitness models”, we’re glad to see we aren’t the only ones who get distracted in the gym. 

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She wowed the judges with her latest Strictly performance, but that doesn’t mean Laura Whitmore is without her critics.

Last week, the Bray native hit headlines after reportedly ignoring Georgia May Foote’s request to stop posting photos of her dance partner and Georgia’s ex, Giovanni Pernice, on social media.

Since then, the former Coronation Street star has unfollowed the popular presenter online, presumably in a bid to distance herself from her former friend’s dance practices.

 

Still one of my fave shoots ever… @selectmodelmgmt

A photo posted by Georgia May Foote (@georgiamay112) on


Now, Geordie Shore’s Marnie Simpson has decided to weigh in on the drama by criticising both Laura and Giovanni in her latest Star magazine column.

Fresh from her stint in Lithuania with Chloe Ferry, Lewis Bloor’s girlfriend wrote: “I don’t know why Georgia May Foote is bothered about her ex Giovanni Pernice – he’s not even nice.”

“She’s a beautiful girl and can do so much better.”

 

No more rehearsal… #BBCStrictly tomorrow 9pm BBC1 – God help us all @pernicegiovanniofficial #teamlovanni

A video posted by thewhitmore (@thewhitmore) on

“People are saying he’ll hook up with his new partner Laura Whitmore,” she continued.  “But Georgia is way better.”

The 24-year-old Celebrity Big Brother contestant added: “Laura was really cold to me when I met her.”

 

Rocking the #laurawhitmorexdaisy turquoise plec ring. And a very neon pink lip and nail!  @daisy_jewellery

A photo posted by thewhitmore (@thewhitmore) on

Something tells us this has more to do with Marnie and Laura, than Georgia and Giovanni.

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With ten seasons of Friends, we like to think that they all really were BFFs and hung out drinking coffee all the time.

However, when the news surfaced that Jennifer Aniston didn't invite Matt LeBlanc or Matthew Perry to her wedding last year, we were totally devo. *Sobs*.

But now we have some good news about the old Friends, and according to Matt, Joey and Chandler are still the best buddies.

While Matt was at the TCA press tour promoting his new TV show, he told the crowd: "I saw him yesterday. He's one stage away. I love that guy.

"I can not see him for five years and then put me in a room with him and it'd be like I saw him yesterday."

AWWW. Can't deal.

 

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Amy will soon become the next Taylor Swift as her #squad just keeps on growing. First, she became best friends with our fave actress, Jennifer Lawrence and then she struck up another friendship with Selena Gomez… and now she has moved onto Amber Rose.

On Sunday, the pair attended the VH1 Big in 2015 event and along with Entertainment Weekly, Amber honoured her new pal, Amy.

 

Ahhh I love this Bad Bitch @amyschumer #HowToBeABadBitch

A video posted by Amber Rose (@amberrose) on

"Being on set with Amy is pretty amazing," said Amber, who starred in the Milk, Milk, Lemonade sketch on Inside Amy Schumer.

"She's constantly funny. It's not an act she puts on, it's really her personality. It's a lot of laughs, a lot of fun. She's all about girl power. I love it. She's a great friend."

 

I am also in this picture @amberrose #bigin2015

A photo posted by @amyschumer on

And then Amber even admitted that she sees a lot of herself in Amy. 

"We both like to encourage women to be comfortable in their bodies. I do it through activism, and you let strange men touch on you in the subway. I like that sometimes too.

 

Again. I am pictured here. @amberrose is my friend on the right. We are working on her confidence

A photo posted by @amyschumer on

"I always have so much fun with you, and I consider you a friend. If I can get serious for a second, people. I just want to thank you for making us laugh and more importantly, making us think. You are the best and I love you so much".

Amy and Amber continued to take LOADS of pictures during the night, including a snap of Amy helping Amber with her confidence.

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They move away straight after their Leaving Cert; embark on an Erasmus year during college, or pursue their career on foreign shores – whatever the reason, it’s likely that at least a few of your closest mates are currently living in a country that isn’t Ireland.

And, as yet, there's no sign of them returning.

Overall, you can cope with keeping up with most of them on Facebook and having a decent catch-up in the pub at Christmas.

However, there is a particular type of heartache and sorrow that comes with the absence of your BFF.

They announce, through tears, that they’re leaving you. Still, it’s only when they’ve actually departed AND given you their new – foreign – mobile number that you finally accept they’re actually gone.

Not that a true friendship has to fizzle out simply because you live in different countries: life-long buddies transcend time-zones, continents and a lack of daily hugs.

Here, SHEmazing! rounds up the eight signs that your long-distance BFF relationship is the real-deal…

 

1) You still WhatsApp and SnapChat as often as ever:

Obviously, you spend hours on Skype – you nattering away at 1am; her stuffing a bowl of cereal into her mouth before work. But day-to-day, you still WhatsApp and SnapChat every random musing, every annoyance, and every little thing you spot that you know they’ll love.

Same goes for outfit approval before an event or advice on what to do with a guy: if you’re unsure, they’re still your go-to.

2) You’re a time-zone expert:

You know precisely what time it is in San Diego, Moscow, Nairobi, Hong Kong or Perth. You know their timetable pretty much exactly too – and, more importantly, how your schedule fits into it. In fact, you have your respective free-time slots, lunch-breaks, and weekends rostered to tee.

3) They’re your go-to TBT stable:

Your Debs, Sixth Year holiday, graduation ball or simply a great memory created together: when it comes to #tbt, you’d never consider anyone else.

4) You send each other care-packages:

Sure, technology and social media means you’re rarely out of touch – but there’s something so special about receiving a postcard or parcel through the letterbox. That and you never get anything in the post from anyone else.

For birthdays and special occasions, you put together a mean care package too: a haul of vests and accessories from Penneys, Tayto crisps, their favourite fake tan and teabags.

5) You know you shouldn’t, but you kinda hope they lose their job/their visa isn’t renewed:

You’d obviously never say it out loud, but when they’re stressed about securing a visa for another year, or finding work, you secretly hope they’re unsuccessful and they’ll have to come home after all.

6) You still know all each other’s secrets:

They might be thousands of kilometres away and you may not have seen them in months, but you still know everything about them – and you still share everything with them.

7) When you see them, it’s like they never left:

They’re back at Christmas or for their brother’s wedding, and you’ve both spent weeks and weeks counting down to your reunion. You’re nervous and excited at the same time beforehand – and within ten minutes you’re right back at where you left off.

8) As envious you are of their lifestyle, you know they really miss home:

Another day at the beach; another day-trip to somewhere incredible. Not to mention that their weeks off are spent exploring some incredible neighbouring countries and territories.

In fact, on a miserable Irish January evening, it’s easy to think, “I really wish that was me.” However, much as your life can seem a bit mundane by comparison, you know that when they see you tucking into a proper Sunday roast (as made by mammy) and enjoying cheeky afternoon pints with your mates, they’d love to be there too. 

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There is nothing worse than the feeling of arguing with a friend. It does happen in most friendships from time to time, but it can usually be easily fixed, depending on the situation. Here are important things to consider when you want to solve a fight with your soul sister and partner in crime. 

Try talking it out
If you want to fix your friendship, don't be stubborn. Try talking it out and be the bigger person.

Try to see things from their point of view
Let them talk and listen to why they are hurt. You may not fully understand it but you have to try.

Don't back stab them
Don't start talking about them behind their back. You're emotional and vulnerable now, but as things cool off you'll regret ever opening your mouth.

Stay off social media
Don't share your current dislike of your friend with the world. This will hurt them further, annoy other people and is not a nice thing to do anyway.

Forgive and forget
Don't bring up past arguments or let this little argument affect your relationship for the next seven years. Learn to let go.

Know when to walk away
If you feel that in general the relationship is toxic, know when enough is enough and be strong enough to walk away and form new friendships.

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Friends can be great, but not all of them have your best interests at heart.

If you have an inkling there may be some toxicity in your friendship, here are the signs that you need to be aware of:

1. Backhanded compliments
A true friend compliments you without making you say: “Oh thanks so much, I…wait what?”

2. Disappearing act
You are always there when they need you, but suddenly the tables turn and they are nowhere to be found.

3. Boyfriend obsession
Best friends support one another’s relationships but if your so-called BFF drops you like a hot potato when she lands a new fella, she may not be as loyal as you thought. Give her a chance with this one as many girls struggle to find a balance between friends and relationships but if she’s making zero effort even after a talking to, toxicity is something to consider.

4. She uses you
That other girl can’t go to the party so she asks you instead. She knows you just got paid and borrows money, deep down you know she won’t pay you back. She fancies your brother or best friend and suddenly wants to hang out all of the time. Don’t let anybody treat you second best.

5. Sense of dread
You see their name pop up on your phone and only answer it out of guilt – not because you actually want to. 

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