I have many fears in life (most revolve around the prospect of walking around with my dress tucked into my knickers), but if there's one thing I'm always willing to try out it's a new trend.
Enter ear makeup; the unexpectedly cool beauty look that emerged from the Paris fashion scene, that has risen to prominence in recent times thanks to glossy magazines and the 'it' fashionistas setting the season's sartorial pace.
It's no wonder that style bibles such as the CR Fashion Book have been running edits featuring models with golden-tipped lobes and ossicles highlighted with silver pigment; a kind of cosmetic ear cuff, ear makeup is a decadent beauty statement reserved for those who bask in the attention of being a 'trend-setter'.
Well, I'm no trend-setter, and I'm about as much of an 'it' girl as Kanye is humble – but this was one beauty look I thought was super-cool and really wanted to try. With a night out on the cards last weekend, I figured there was no better time for taking a fashion risk.
I knew I was going to run into some issues. To begin with, I'm about as good with my makeup as I am with my hair – not very creative or skilled, so the chances of me recreating a Pat McGrath-for-Louis-Vuitton-inspired look weren't great.
After deciding to go for a gold look to complement my white dress, I set about figuring out how on earth I was going to make this work. It's pretty obvious that the artists who created these looks used top-quality pigments; and with limited time and resources, I had to settle on using a mish-mash of products.
The first layer consisted of a golden cream eyeshadow pencil, which was then covered over with some powder shadow and a coating of (the coolest) golden glitter gel.
When I stepped back and beheld my creation, I was seriously under-whelmed; it looked like I had experienced some kind of gross earwax explosion. It was just dirty-looking, and could equally have been the result of a fake-tanning disaster.
My little experiment with ear makeup was a total flop, and I can say this with some confidence because not only did I hate it, but my friends were equally unimpressed.
With this group of friends, something new and cool is ALWAYS recognised, immediately commented on and, usually, complimented; and so, when they weren't initially forthcoming with their reactions to my ear-party, I came straight out and asked them. As it turned out, they had clocked it as soon as they met me, but had decided to remain silent on the subject: enough said.
When I finally did get them talking, the results weren't good:
"I think you're the only person I know who would wear that out"
"It's actually not even that noticeable"
"It would be cool for a festival, maybe"
When we reached the pub and met up with another member of the group, I didn't utter a word – I just shoved my ear in her face. Her reaction:
"Jaysus! WHAT is THAT?"
So, the girls weren't into it. But the true mark of experimental failure lies in the fact that, shortly after being handed my first drink, I quietly removed the hairclips that had been holding my tresses back to reveal my ear get-up in all its glory. I'm not even sure if anyone in the place was bothered, but I felt uncomfortable.
I love fashion, I love being creative, and I love getting dressed up for a night out – it's one of the best parts. And so, when I get to a point where I'm self-conscious (and, believe me, it takes a lot for that to happen) I have to bow out and accept defeat.
In the hands of a beauty professional with the right vision and tools, perhaps the ear makeup look would work out – and maybe it would be just the thing for your music festival; but for me, if it doesn't make you feel amazing, it's just not worth it.
Sometimes, DIY is not always best solution!
