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sexy time

The sex is comfortable, you know what to expect and you know it's going to be good.

Since the break-up, your feelings have changed for your ex, but there's still probably a lot of love there – if he or she isn't a complete assh*le.

Your friends will shame you for letting them back in to your bed – but the next time they go to tell you off, throw them this little chunk of science.

These two studies claim to bust the myth that if you get freaky in the sheets with your ex, you'll delay your ability to move on.

In fact, they say having sex with your ex, even if you're in a horrible place about the split – isn't bad.

The first study, conducted by researchers at Wayne State University, Western University, and the University of Toronto Mississauga asked 113 newbie singles to fill out an online survey.

The newly dumped people were asked if they hooked up with their ex, how they felt emotionally and how attached they felt towards them at the end of the day.

The researchers then conducted a second study, but this time 372 people were questioned about sex with their exes and if they still held any emotional feelings for the ex.

And surprise, surprise – both studies concluded that contrary to popular belief, sex with an ex doesn't prolong heartache.

Additionally, the number of times you get freaky with your ex-lover doesn't play a role either. 

The results actually found it does the opposite – anyone who felt a strong emotional tie to their ex, sought out sex the most because they were trying to fill a void their ex had left.

BUT doing the dirty made them feel BETTER about the breakup – so honey, have your cake and eat it because this is emotionally risk-free.*

“This research suggests that societal handwringing regarding trying to have sex with an ex may not be warranted,” explained lead author Stephanie Spielmann. 

“The fact that sex with an ex is found to be most eagerly pursued by those having difficulty moving on, suggests that we should perhaps instead more critically evaluate people’s motivations behind pursuing sex with an ex,” she added.

So those late night booty calls are all golden baby – happy ridin'.

*This only works if both parties are single, and non-toxic. And don't forget to use protection.

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We finally have an excuse – not that we need one – to unleash our emotional mess on our other halves, as it turns out – he LOVES it. 

Blessed are those couple of months that your partner hasn't discovered your inner crazy yet.

But embrace the mood swings as he may dig it, particularly between the sheets.

According to a German study, men prefer getting frisky with women who are emotionally unstable.

A possible explanation for this? An image of a knight on the white horse coming to save the day, springs to mind.

On the other hand, us gals enjoy men who won’t give us our own way. (Sounds about accurate, and a plausible reason for why we fall for f*ck boys…)

Additionally, attention to detail is a big turn on for us ladies, according to the findings of this study.

Lead researcher Julia Velten and her team investigated volunteer’s sex lives, sexual function and their personality.

Research into personality traits and sex is an area that has been neglected, according to the experts.

A thousand people took part in the sexy survey.

The team concluded that "men whose partners had less emotional stability reported better sexual function."

Meanwhile "lower agreeableness of a sexual partner was predictive of better sexual function in women".

The study was published in the Journal Of Sex Research, and the average age of the volunteers were 51, with the majority being in their current relationships for 24 years. – so they know a thing or two about a lifetime of sex.

For the women, topics of sexual desire, arousal, satisfaction and orgasm were examined.

For our male counterparts, it was erectile function, satisfaction, orgasm and desire.

Their findings revealed that men enjoyed sex more with a partner who had similar traits, in particular being easily stimulated.

"In men who are easily aroused by erotic fantasies or visual stimuli, having a partner who responds in a similar way may facilitate sexual function," the researchers explained.

An attentive man is one to keep around, as sex tends to be better with them.

The team said: "men who are thorough and dutiful may feel the need to satisfy their partner sexually, which may in turn lead to better sexual function of their partners".

The German scientists also put to the bed the misconception that being in a long-term relationship means you’re not gonna get your bit.

"This finding implies that a healthy sexual life is possible even in long relationships," the researchers said.

And, remember – consensual, safe sexy time is always the best. 

Happy humping!

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