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intimacy

When it comes to spending a bit of time between the sheets with our partner of choice, there are usually a few things we're comfortable with. 

Whether that's indulging in a particular kink, or that fool proof I'm-definitely-going-to-come-from-this position, we know what we like. 

However, a recent study found that people avoid particular positions due to personal insecurities. 

When we're not feeling body confident or have performance anxiety, the position of choice can have a lot to do with it. 

Holding Back In Bed by Zava Med polled over 1,000 sexually active people about what made them uncomfortable during sex, and compiled a list of sex positions we're not into. 

Women were most turned off by 69-ing, while men cited standing up sex as their most avoided position. 

69-ing came a close second for men, with one quarter of men avoiding it.

With more than half of men and women feeling insecure about how their genitals look, it makes sense that this position can evoke anxiety for some. 

A further 20% of men bypass the Doggy style position, and the Kneeling wheelbarrow (we had to Google that one) was 19% of guy's performance Achille's heel. 

The results showed that partner-facing positions were avoided twice as often as positions where partners faced away from each other when one party involved felt insecure.

Women mostly avoided Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl and the Kneeling Wheelbarrow after 69-ing. 

While 69-ing was cited as the most uncomfortable position for insecure partners, the study found that 'sexual acts that focus on oral sex like 69 can actually help improve intimacy and communication between partners.'

The more you know…

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Although each relationship is unique, the stages people go through when they are dating are generally the same.

Whether you’re new to the scene or just putting yourself out there again, you will most likely experience these five stages:

Attraction
In the first stage, you find someone you are attracted to and hope the feeling is mutual.

Uncertainty
In the second stage you begin to question whether the person is right for you or not. A lot of the time it is fear that causes uncertainty, so think wisely before you decide to call it quits.

Exclusivity
In this stage, you have both decided to be in an exclusive relationship. But don’t get comfortable just yet. It’s important that you continue to do little things for one another.

Intimacy
In stage four, you both let your guard down and speak more openly to one another. Although you see the best in yourself and your partner, we also see and show the less appealing sides of our personalities.

Commitment
In this stage, you know he is the right person for you and have decided to see past his flaws. You have an even greater acceptance of each other and your differences.

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