How you know it’s time to call it quits

Relationships

May 9, 2014

Relationships are far from easy and can go through various rough patches, but despite our best efforts, there are some rough patches we simply can’t get through.

You don’t fight anymore
Sure that sounds great initially, but you know deep down inside that neither you or your partner are really trying anymore. Sometimes couples need to fight with each other over the important things because when you’ve both stopped doing that, you’ve really both stopped fighting for your relationship.

Nothing works
You’ve been working on your problems for a while but sometimes its time to face the reality that despite your best efforts, it’s just not working.

Doomed relationship
Some relationships are just doomed from the start. You may have gotten together for completely the wrong reasons and some couples stay together out of fear of being alone. But you have to ask yourselves, what is really better in the long run? Being miserable in a relationship that is never going to work or the possibility of finding someone who could truly make you happy?

Different values
The more you got to know each other, the more you began to realise that two of you actually don’t fit. Sure you’re both attracted to each other but there are some things you can’t ignore and values are one of them.

14 signs your ex is still not over you

Relationships

May 7, 2014

by Amber Saunders

During a break up and after it, a lot of our focus tends to be on us.

There are reasons we are trying to get away from our other half and in doing so we can’t feel sorry for them. Or maybe its the other way around, maybe we are the ones who were left gutted when they dropped the bomb on us.

Anyway, there is a time when you WILL get over it, but have they? Here are the signs THEY are not over YOU.

1. They wear mostly clothes associated with your time together

2. They drop you a text every now and again asking about that place you went once…

3. They begin to frequent the places you both used to go more regularly.

4. They get too drunk when you bump into them on a night out and either go a) all soppy and declare their love or b) full on psycho-ex stalker and get kicked out of the club.

5. They happen to bump into you in an “oh I was just passing” way in a part of town they have no business being in other than the fact that they know you work there.

6. They have a new partner…who looks exactly like you.

7. They have changed sexuality and their new opposite sex of you partner…looks exactly like you.

8. They still have a photo of the two of you as their screen saver on their phone.

9. Tears. There are always tears when you meet them.

10. They text you to ask what was your special song was….you didn’t have one…and they know that.

11. Your friends tell you they bumped into them in town, and all they asked about was you….

12. They are full on stalking you.

13. They have become a lot more friendly with your family than you would like…even though they only met them once.

14. The “like” everything you put up on Facebook, including photos you posted three years ago, and not even accidentally. They full on want you to know they are cyber stalking you.

via our content partners, CT

The many reasons to love our mammies

Relationships

May 6, 2014

by Amber Saunders

They give the best advice
We hate to admit it but they really do and always seem to know what they’re talking about too.

They cook the best meals
We try and try in vain but nothing can ever compete with our mam’s home cooked meals.

They tolerate you at your worst
Whether it was those terrible teen mood swings or even at your worst now, they give you space and are always there if you need a good cry.

They always call
As much as we complain about their constant phone calls, we would be lost without them.

They’re brutally honest
They aren’t afraid to tell you if they think that your outfit is not flattering or if you are about to make a terrible choice. The annoying thing that comes along with that brutal honesty, is they are usually always right.

They never judge
If you make a mistake they never judge; they’re just there to give you a hug and cup of tea and tell you it will be all better in the morning.

Let’s face it, we would be lost without our mammies.

Signs you’ve entered the relationship comfort zone

Relationships

May 2, 2014

by Amber Saunders

You’ve been together for quite a while now and here are the sure signs that the pair of you have officially entered the relationship comfort zone.

He’s there for you
You’ve run out of tampons and it’s no big deal to ask him to pop into the shop and grab a box. Now, that’s what we call a real man.

You can be open with him
You can have honest conversations with him about anything and never need to worry it will end in a relationship breakdown.

Your friends are his friends
The awkward scenarios between your boyfriend and your friends are finally gone. In fact, your girlfriends already consider him a part of the gang.

Don’t have to dress up
You can go around make-up free and in your tracksuit bottoms and he would still find you as attractive as ever.

Your part of his family
It’s gotten to the stage where his parents know it’s better to contact you about their son than actually attempt to get in touch with him themselves.

4 problems only single women will understand

Relationships

Apr 30, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Being single can be awesome but like anything, there can be downsides.

Phone dies
Nothing can be more awkward for a single gal, than eating alone in public. This problem is only made worse when your mobile phone suddenly decides to die. What can you do but eat your meal in silence and just stare into space, hoping at the same time, that no one is staring at you.

First dates
You’ve gotten to the stage where you would nearly rather stay in than go on another dreaded first date. It’s nothing like the movies and there are no jokes about splitting the bill.

Be less picky
A common phrase uttered by our loved ones, but usually comes from those who are in a happy relationships and haven’t been on the horrible dating scene in years.

Pity
Some of your friends act like being single is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Even after explaining in some detail that you are quite happy with your single status, you still receive those annoying pitying looks.

14 characteristics you should avoid in a boyfriend

Relationships

Apr 22, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Other than the obvious murderer, criminal or anything that makes us a bit uneasy, these are the dodgy things you should be looking out for when finding your next boyfriend.

1. He knocks women constantly, except for you who he puts on a pedestal. He’ll say things like “Jesus, I’m thankful I’ve never had to put up with her crap” (about one of your mates). The pedestal is fake – he’s mentally criticising you too.

2. Constantly slags women drivers

3. Won’t go down on you…

4. …but expects you to go down on him

5. Has daily sayings like: “I’ll be home at 6, make sure the dinner is on the table.” Leave a tin of beans and a slice pan for him and see how he gets on.

6. Chooses things like sports over you constantly.

7. He makes fun of your taste in music, movies, and television.

8. He appears to have a problem with watching porn

9. He tries to turn everything into an opportunity to have sex with you

10. He has cheated on someone in the past and he’ll probably do it again

11. His “friends” don’t seem to have much time for him

12. He openly flirts with other women in front of you, even when he knows it makes you uncomfortable.

13. He consistently comes in at under the 60-second mark during intercourse..

14. He refuses to hang with your friends or is completely ignorant in their company when he does.

via our content partner CT

5 signs that prove you’re in a long term relationship

Relationships

Apr 18, 2014

by Amber Saunders

It’s not the number of months or the loved-up quirks that prove you’re in a long term relationship. No, it’s mostly how you act with each other.

Here are some sure signs that you and your partner, are in it for the long haul.

Complete honesty

You no longer live in fear of what the other thinks. If the outfit doesn’t suit them, or you can’t stand the way they act sometimes. You can tell them straight.

People no longer see you as separate identities

Friends officially see you as a package deal and accept where you go, your partner is sure to follow.

Comfortable silences

You can tell him not to speak to you for an hour and he will get it. More importantly, if you are able to express a message with a single look, it’s a sure sign of strong relationship.

He’s part of your family

He is already considered an official member of your family. He even spends time with them, when you out.

Knows you better than yourself

The little things, like knowing to record your favourite programme when you can’t. But most importantly, how to cheer you up when you’re feeling down.

16 reasons to be the single girl in your group

Relationships

Apr 17, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Some girls out there will cry if they are the last single one standing but not to worry – there are many reasons you should be grateful that you are the only single girl in the group.

1. You are constantly reminded of why you shouldn’t be in a relationship

2. Independence

3. You can save money and spend it on yourself

4. No relationship fights

5. No cheating

6. You get the pick of guys on nights out as your friends are all taken

7. You don’t have to share your takeaway with anyone

8. No jealousy

9. No hating another frenemie girl who’s hitting on your boyfriend

10. You can talk to the opposite sex without upsetting your BF

11. You’re alone not lonely

12. Establishing your standards

13. You don’t need your other half to have a good night out

14. You can talk to whoever you want whenever you want

15. You aren’t that girl that starts the beginning of every sentence with “me and my boyfriend”

16. No hostility towards you as no one hates your other half

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you are the single one in a group of taken girls, your nights will not be spent like this…

via our content partners CT

How to balance time between your friends and your boyfriend

Relationships

Apr 17, 2014

by Amber Saunders

When you meet that someone special, you naturally want to spend all your time with them. But there is often the danger that your close friends might feel neglected as a result.

Schedule

As ridiculous as it is going to sound, if you want to fit everyone in during the week, you are going to have to organise a schedule. Sometimes it’s a good idea to alternate the weekdays and weekends. You can spend some evenings with friends and then spend some weekends with your boyfriend. But most importantly, make sure your schedule makes you happy.

Group it up

Who said you can’t bring your friends out with your boyfriend? It doesn’t necessarily mean everyone has to get along, but if both your friends and boyfriend finally meet, they might understand why you value your relationships with them. Who knows, they could even become friends as a result.

Be honest

But if you’re struggling to keep everyone happy in this scenario, the best thing that you can do, is be honest. Explain to your boyfriend and your friends, that you are finding it difficult to spend time with everyone, but do value each of your relationships with them. Once they hear this, they will feel reassured and will often find a way to work it out.

What couples’ sleeping positions reveal about their relationship

Relationships

Apr 16, 2014

by Amber Saunders

New research claims to show how the position you sleep in with your partner can reveal the strength of your relationship.

The key is the distance between couples, according to the study of 1,100 people, which was published today at the Edinburgh International Science Festival.

The study, which expands on work by psychiatrist Samuel Dunkell, claims that partners who sleep less than an inch apart are far more likely to be happy together than those maintaining a gap wider than 30 inches.

The study says that people who lie curled up in the ‘full foetal’ position are likely to be indecisive, anxious and sensitive to criticism from their partner.

Those who sleep in a ‘semi-foetal’ position, with their knees drawn up, are amenable to compromise with their other half, and unlikely to take extreme stances, the study said.

People who sleep in the ‘royal’ position – flat on their back – tend to be confident, open, expansive, and sensation-seeking when it comes to their love life, the study said.

The study claimed that those who lie on their face show a tendency for rigidity and perfectionism, which can lead to problems in a relationship.

Apparently couples tend to be happier if they fall asleep face-to-face than if they ‘spoon’ their partners, facing the same direction, or if they face in opposite directions.

10 things every guy should do when dating a girl

Relationships

Apr 16, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Here are 10 gentlemanly acts that guys should really bring back into the game – acts that are in no way threatening a woman’s independence, but are gestures that show they care and are part of the old school bro code.

1. Hold doors open for her.

Yes, she can hold her own doors – she has arms and hands. But doing that extra work, no matter how minimal it really is, makes sure that she doesn’t have to. It’s a nice thing to do. Strain yourself and expend your energy so that she doesn’t have to.

2. Offer to pay on the first date.

The fact is that many of us, if not most, live on a very tight budget. It’s often not possible to cover the whole bill because that’ll mean you won’t make rent, depending on where you are. If she likes you for the right reasons then she won’t think twice about going halfsies. However, if you can afford it then a gentleman should at least attempt to pay the tab. If she offers to split it with you even after you offer to pay for it, then thank her, but tell her that she can cover the tab next time. This almost guarantees a second date and leaves you looking like a gentleman.

3. Don’t try to get into her pants on the first date.

This one is a hard one – I know. But getting into the sack too early on can kill any chance of a loving relationship. Why? Because there is no build up of sexual tension or excitement.

4. Keep your eyes on the prize and only the prize (not that she’s an object, but you get the idea).

Keep your eyes away from other women. She may know that you want to sleep with every beautiful woman in the world, but she would like to know that you have enough self-control to pay attention to her and just her. If you can’t keep your eyes to yourself then, chances are, you can’t keep your hands to yourself either. Not the way a gent would act.

5. Help her with her coat.

Again, she can do it herself but that doesn’t mean that she should have to. Why would you help her put her coat on? A better question would be: why not? Putting a coat on can sometimes be tricky – save her the embarrassment and the time and help her put it on. To add a cherry on top: It gives you an excuse to get close to her and see if there really is physical chemistry.

6. Make sure she gets home safe.

You had a great date. Now go and get her a taxi. Don’t expect her to get one herself. They can be difficult to catch and, believe it or not, the darker it gets, the more dangerous it gets – especially for women. This isn’t us being a sexist. We are being realistic. Make sure she either gets home safely or gets to her transportation safely. If you don’t take her home, then ask her to, at the very least, text you when she gets home safe. Little things like this go a long way.

7. Follow up with her the next morning.

If you like her and she likes you, then she won’t mind you contacting her the next day and telling her that you had a great time. In fact, it’s likely to put a smile on her face and that is the only thing you need to worry about. Don’t hound her or push for another date right away – it’s a turn off – but let her know that you definitely would want to see her again. Following up the next morning does just that.

8. Flowers go a long way.

Buying a girl flowers on the first date is a bit cheesy. However, if you’ve been dating someone for a while, then buy her flowers from time to time. It can be on date night. It can be on a Monday, just because. If she doesn’t like flowers then find something else that you can give her that will make her feel special. Go out of your way to make her happy – because that’s what gentlemen do.

9. Make ‘Hanging Out’ special.

Enjoy your time with her and create special and wonderful memories with her. Remember foreplay, not just the sexual kind, goes a long way.

10. Buy her things just because you want to.

If you can afford to spend money on your woman, then spend money on her. Why? Because it’s one of the best investments you can make. If you really do love her, then give her the things that she secretly wants. Buy her things and really they can just be little things, like a bar of chocolate, and you’ll make her day a bit better.

via our content partner CT

Actress doesn’t believe in settling for just one man

Celebrity

Apr 15, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Cameron Diaz has a message for all the single ladies: Don’t settle for one man.

The A-List actress – who counts Justin Timberlake and Jared Leto among her exes – doesn’t believe one man is enough to fulfil all of her needs.

The 41-year-old star has admitted she believes in having more than one partner, as women expect too much from men when it comes to monogamous relationships.

She said, “A lot of people chase after it because they’ve been told, ‘This equals happiness.’ They chase it, they get it, and they find out, ‘Why did I think this was going to make me happy? I’m miserable!'”

“I don’t know if anyone is really naturally monogamous. We all have the same instincts as animals. But we live in a society where it’s been ingrained in us to do these things,” she added.

The Hollywood actress has made no secret of her desire to shun the traditional route of marriage and children, admitting she doesn’t feel ‘the need’ to have children to satisfy her.