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friendships

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Your work wife makes those long, exhausting and downright dull days in the office bearable. They’re the person you gossip with as the kettle boils, the gal who will never say no to a midweek trip to the chipper and the person who will always give you a pep talk in the loo before a big meeting.

The friendship you share with your work wife is like no other, but a new study has found that this friendship may be having a negative impact on your work.

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According to Dr Sangyoon Park, having a work bestie slows down your productivity by 6 percent. 

Dr Park found that people sitting next to your pals in work reduced your productivity, but only if you were sitting next to each other as opposed to across from one another.

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He explained, “I find that employees are less productive when working with friends but only when friends are close enough to socialize with each other. 

“I find no effect when friends are working at positions further away from her such as across the table or at a neighbouring table.”

Despite the lack of productivity, Dr Park did stress the importance of socializing with your work colleagues.

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“An employee is willing to forgo approximately 6 percent of her wage to socialize with friends at work.”

We may chat too much and make way too many cups of tea, but they make work far better. Having strong relationships in work even makes employees want to stay in that company longer, so it’s a win-win for everyone really.

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There are friends who pass in and out of your life, and there are some people who make an indelible mark.

If you're very lucky, you have a person in your life who you see as an extension of yourself, and here are just 9 signs they'll be around for a very, very long time.

How many sound familiar to you?

1. Distance doesn’t breathe animosity

There are some friendships which require your constant attention, and others which survive and thrive regardless of contact and distance.

The sign of a true friendship is the ability to slip back into it… no matter how long you've been apart.

If you have a friend who you can call at 2am despite the fact you haven't chatted in weeks, you're onto a winner.

2. Their win feels like your win, and vice versa

It's hard not to feel envious of other people's triumphs, but this certainly isn't an issue in this friendship.

Because you see this person as an extension of yourself, you feel their joy as deeply as your own.

Major or minor, no one will celebrate their achievements as sincerely as you will. And it works both ways.

3. You’ve name-dropped them more than once

If you've ever experienced a genuine surge of pride over the fact you can call this person your friend, you are on track for a lifelong friendship.

You know how amazing this person is and you can't help but bring them up on the regular….even if no one asked.

If it wasn't mutual, it might even be weird.

4. Mutual understanding plays a huge role

One sign that you're in it for the long haul with this person is the fact that you don't expect more of each other than either can deliver.

You both know you have your strengths and your weaknesses when it comes to friendship, and you're happy to accept them, as long as you're honest about it.

Your importance in their life is never under any question, so when they have to cancel a dinner or turn down an invite, it's no biggie, because chances are they'd rather be with you… but you know… life.

5. Silence is never ever awkward

If you have someone in your life that you'd happily just nap with, you're onto a winner.

Meeting up to sit in silence may sound odd to some people, but they haven't met you guys.

You get a kick out of simply being with them, and if a three-hour hang-out session involves a 90-minute nap, 30 minutes of unbridled snacking and 60 minutes of Game of Thrones, so be it.

6. You hide nothing from them

And we mean nothing.

You have told them things you wouldn't dream of telling anyone else and you have admitted things to them you once struggled to admit to yourself.

And the best part? You know – hand on heart – that you can do so, without judgement.

7. You call each other out when necessary

Most friendships encounter a few hiccups along the way, and yours is no different.

But unlike other friends whom you have to treat with kid gloves, you can tell your friend like it is.

Support comes in various forms and telling your friend they're behaving like a jackass is just one. Let's face it, it's better coming from you than their boss, co-worker or flatmate.

8. You seek, receive and provide reassurance for one another

When it comes to advice or a shoulder to cry, you turn to this friend more than anyone else.

Sometimes it comes down to their own experience of a situation and sometimes it because you simply want them to listen, but either way, when the going gets tough, it's this person whose reassurance you seek.

And even if they can't help on any practical level, you can be sure they'll take your mind off your woes.

9. Their habits become your habits

When you find yourself using their sayings and making their gestures, you know this person is going to be hard to shake off (Not that you'd want to.)

In fact, the only thing you still argue about is tea.

The day you see them opting for a mug over a cup, Supermilk over regular, and no sugar over their stand spoonful, you'll know they've passed into a different realm. You'll have literally become the same person.

 

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It was only yesterday that Zayn Malik shocked the world by releasing a bunch of tweets slamming his former music producer and friend, Naughty Boy.

Since then, it has been reported that the 22-year-old has reached out to his former One Direction bandmates to try and reconcile their differences.

According to HollywoodLife.com, Zayn has reached out to the boys after realising that they are the ones who really have his best interests at heart.

An insider revealed that “Zayn has spoken to Louis Tomlinson, 23, and the 1D boys in the past few weeks after realising more and more that Naughty Boy was only out for himself. “

While Zayn has no current desire to return to the band professionally, he is eager to mend his relationship with the remaining four members.

The singer, who is engaged to Perrie Edward’s, has reportedly even apologised to Louis for everything that happened and for their Twitter feud. The source explained that “Zayn wanted to reach out and make sure they all knew he was still their brother.”

It has also been reported that he has ditched Naughty Boy in favour of music producer Sarah Stennett. So it certainly looks like Zayn is totally done with the 30-year-old musician, both professionally and personally. 

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We all have that friend who is so content in her relationship that she makes the rest of us question our own random hook-up’s, less-than-perfect boyfriends and permanent single status.

If you’re sitting there thinking ‘Wait, I don’t have a friend like that!’, we’re sorry, but you’re that friend. We know it’s tough to hear, but it’s vital you know.

If you’re still not convinced that you’re walking a fine line between smug and satisfied, then maybe read on and see if any of these ring true.

1. You don’t join in with the “My boyfriend’s a total head melt” conversation when the girls are dishing the dirt.

No, it doesn’t get on their nerves at all…we promise.

2. You admire how good you look together in every passing reflection and often request that he join you in your admiration.

And this doesn’t make him self-conscious at all.

3. You do the ‘How to know he’s the ONE’ quizzes with a secret smug smile and then reveal the results to your friends.

Seriously, that’s fine.

4. You bring him up in conversation at every opportunity.

Oh, your boyfriend has a radiator in his house too? Well, that’s swell!

5. You make fake sarcastic comments about being a boring couple, but you don’t mean a word of it.

Don’t worry, everyone believes you, we swear.

6. You throw words like ‘brunch’ and ‘walks on the beach’ around like nobody’s business.

No, keep going, we want to hear more!

7. You talk about his mum like you’re best friends.

Margaret said what about her casserole dish? Interesting!

8. You jokingly tease him in front of his parents with a knowing smile.

Margaret loves it, but his dad Martin’s not as in to it, if we’re honest.

9. You view other people’s Facebook relationship drama with a sigh and a smirk.

We know, why, oh why can’t they be more like you two?

10. You picture what you look like while having sex, excuse us, while ‘making love’ and it doesn’t make you laugh because you know the pair of you look perfect.

And you know what? Maybe, you do!

Ah don’t mind us girl, we’re just jealous.

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It’s easy to hate someone when they’ve wronged your friend, treated her badly or are just an out-and-out jackass. But it’s a lot harder to deal with negative feelings towards someone when you know deep down they probably don’t deserve it, but God, sometimes you just can’t help it!

Here’s the thing though ladies, whether you like it or not, if your friend's boyfriend has done nothing but treat her well, then it’s your duty to make an effort with him. Yes he may not be your perfect partner, but you’re not dating him, you just have to see the good in him!

Here are five quick tips for navigating this awkward situation.

Be honest with yourself
Do you truly dislike the new beau or are you unsettled by the change in dynamic? With every new relationship comes a slight shift in friend groups. Girlie Saturday nights, which were spent vegging in front of The X Factor, are now missing a key player who’s having a romantic dinner with her new man That can sting a little.

Is the boyfriend really the cause of your beef, or are you just missing your friend a little?

Make an effort
You love your friend and she loves him, so there’s bound to be SOME way that you and him can click. Remind yourself of the various things your friend finds so appealing about him and use them to get to know him better. He’ll appreciate the your intentions.

He brought her out to a new bar recently and she hasn’t stopped raving about it, why not ask him about it?

Do not badmouth him
No matter how you feel about the new man in her life, do not, under any circumstances, badmouth him for the sake of it. Put yourself in her position and imagine how you’d feel if you were head over heels and your friend was constantly snide. It would seriously hurt, right?

If your friend’s boyfriend’s genuinely doesn’t deserve your sarky comments, then zip the lip, ladies. PRONTO.

Include him in your plans
Do you dislike him or do you actually not know him? If you’ve been keeping him at a distance then chances are your initial feelings aren’t going to change much because you’re not letting them.  If you include him in your group plans, then you’ll slowly begin to make memories with him which could lead to a friendship or, if all else fails, gives you both something to chat about.

Next time your group is planning a wholesome day out , let him know and encourage him to come along! It may mean more to him and your friend than you think.

Remember, your friendship comes first!
If none of the above work and you recognise he’s a good guy, but you just can’t deal, don’t beat yourself up. 

Focus on your friendship and allow your friend to chat openly and easily about her relationship. Make sure she knows you appreciate how good he is to her and you'll be an ear if she ever needs it, but that doesn’t mean you and him have to bosom buddies. No big deal!

 

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We want to support our friends and their new found loves, but there are some guys that our girls will inevitable go out with. Here are just some of the gems that you may come across:

First love
We never forget our first loves and for our friends, it can be no exception. While he’s become a brother to you this stage, you secretly think that your friend maybe should have had her wild days just a bit more, before settling down.

College boyfriend
You barely know the guy but he makes her happy, so that’s all you want, even if they met each other at the back of a lecture hall.

Back-up guy
Harsh but true. There is always one guy your friend goes back to, especially when they shouldn’t.

The perfect guy
He’s annoyingly perfect that you kept help but be jealous of your friend’s new relationship, but deep down inside you’re happy for her, you are!

He’s not good for her guy
Too many encounters with this type, and we know it won’t end well no matter how many times we tell our friends this. In cases like these, all you can do is be there for her and hope that he improves with time.

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Getting over an ex is never easy and staying friends with them can be a little harder. Here are five simple rules for staying friends with your ex:

No drunk dialling
Just don’t do it, you will only regret it in the morning. From screaming messages to inappropriate declarations of love at 3am, drunk contact of any form is not a great way to start a friendship.

No sex
Well not sex with your ex anyway. There’s too much emotional involvement there, and it will of course only make things more complicated.

Don’t comment on each other’s partners
Unless you have something nice to say, it’s probably best not to say anything at all.

Honesty
All the best friendships have a strong foundation of honesty and your ex is no exception. So before embarking on the friend route with your old flame, make sure to talk honestly about why you want start a friendship with them. Remember you split up for a reason and if your reasons for a friendship are not genuine, it’s probably best to face that reality head on.

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You know each other’s wardrobes
Don’t know what to wear? No worries, your best friend will know already what outfit would suit you best. Why? Because she already knows the inside of your wardrobe.

Contact each other through many methods.
Finished Facebook messaging each other? That’s ok. You can just then go on to text her, snap chat her, tweet her, or any other form of communication that’s available to you.

Honest
She will tell you honestly whether that dress will suit you or not and most importantly, gives you the much needed advice you sometimes need to hear.

You have eras
You’ve been friends for so long that you can laugh easily about some of those strange eras that you both went through.

You know too much
Whether it’s about her sex life or intimate details about her boyfriend, you definitely know way too much about your best friend.

Nothing gets in the way
You could be living other sides of the country or different countries and might not have even spoken for a while but once the two of you meet up it’s like nothing has changed.

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When you meet that someone special, you naturally want to spend all your time with them. But there is often the danger that your close friends might feel neglected as a result.

Schedule

As ridiculous as it is going to sound, if you want to fit everyone in during the week, you are going to have to organise a schedule. Sometimes it’s a good idea to alternate the weekdays and weekends. You can spend some evenings with friends and then spend some weekends with your boyfriend. But most importantly, make sure your schedule makes you happy.

Group it up

Who said you can’t bring your friends out with your boyfriend? It doesn’t necessarily mean everyone has to get along, but if both your friends and boyfriend finally meet, they might understand why you value your relationships with them. Who knows, they could even become friends as a result.

Be honest

But if you’re struggling to keep everyone happy in this scenario, the best thing that you can do, is be honest. Explain to your boyfriend and your friends, that you are finding it difficult to spend time with everyone, but do value each of your relationships with them. Once they hear this, they will feel reassured and will often find a way to work it out.

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