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mammies

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Ah mams. Do they go through some sort of ‘mam training’ in order to all use the exact same phrases?

More importantly, will we someday find ourselves using the phrases we have taken the utter pi** out of all of our lives? It’s a scary thought.

Despite all of their loveable ‘mamisms’ we have to say that they really are the best!

1. “Put a coat on – you’ll perish out there!”
It’s July, mam…and we’re on holidays in Spain.

2. “Whisht, whist will you – the Angelus is on”
The longest minute of our lives as children.

3. “Well, how was mass/pub/trip to the shops? Anyone admire ye?”
She always looks a little disappointed when you say no, bless.

4. “If you eat one more sweet now you’ll get worms and you’ll come running to me then, won’t you?”
Ewwwww

5. “Wait till I get the wooden spoon”
The words that would put the fear of God into you

6. “What are ya doin’ still in the bed? Is there something wrong which ya? Heh?!”
Noooo mam, it’s 9am on the first day of summer holidays go awwwwayyy

7. “Because that’s the why!”
Wait, what? That’s not even an answer.

8. “Is it coddin’ me you are? Get out the door”
Being sick before mass on a Sunday is NOT an option

9. “More in your line now to be revising than havin’ your head stuck into that Facebook”
Tis true for her, to be fair

10. “I’ve no wafers left, you’ll have to have your ice-cream in a bowl”
Only joking, no Irish mammy worth her salt would ever run out of wafers

11. “That’ll be a funeral for us now, I suppose”
Well, yes he was the neighbour’s distant cousin who lived at the opposite end of the country and you met him once, so why not?

12. “Switch over there, we’ll see who Ryan has on”
Noooooo mam, but Graham Norton is on!

13. “Oh, don’t mind her, she has a complex about eatin’ meat”
Mam, it’s called being a vegetarian!

14. “I’ll reddin’ your arse if that immersion is left on!”
Good God RUN!

15. “Maura’s daughter was in the pub actually. Nice girl. Plain.”
Mam can be saucy too ya’know!

Happy Mother’s Day to all our lovely mammies!

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They give the best advice
We hate to admit it but they really do and always seem to know what they’re talking about too.

They cook the best meals
We try and try in vain but nothing can ever compete with our mam’s home cooked meals.

They tolerate you at your worst
Whether it was those terrible teen mood swings or even at your worst now, they give you space and are always there if you need a good cry.

They always call
As much as we complain about their constant phone calls, we would be lost without them.

They’re brutally honest
They aren’t afraid to tell you if they think that your outfit is not flattering or if you are about to make a terrible choice. The annoying thing that comes along with that brutal honesty, is they are usually always right.

They never judge
If you make a mistake they never judge; they’re just there to give you a hug and cup of tea and tell you it will be all better in the morning.

Let’s face it, we would be lost without our mammies.

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