HomeTagsPosts tagged with "relationship issues"

relationship issues

New research suggests that social media is becoming a "common problem" in Irish marriages, according to The Independent.

Over 3,000 clients took part in a survey in Maynooth over two years which discovered that both men and women find social media and technology "behaviour" causes difficulties in marriages and relationships.

Accord Catholic Marriage Care Service maintains that constant access to technology and phones has taken away the "cooling off" period following an argument.

The Accord has commented that it will alter it's service to accommodate the issue following couples' feedback.

Bishop Denis Nulty, president of Accord and Bishop of Kildare & Leighlin, said: "Social media is a huge issue. Pope Francis spoke about this at Croke Park and we need to be digitally conscious."

He elaborated on why the results are vital for the organisation; "We're dictated by gadgets so being clued-in is important."

On the removal of the "cooling-off" period he said: "When you send a text, a tweet or a Whatsapp message, there's no way of pulling it back, and it causes huge heartache for everyone involved."

"As we shape our marriage preparation courses in the future, we'll be taking this into consideration," Bishop Nulty mused.

"We have a low divorce rate in Ireland, and I would like to keep it low. I have no doubt people in Ireland still take marriage very seriously."

16,048 individuals attended the Accord's marriage preparation courses across the nation in 2018, which was down almost 800 from 2017

Accord counsellors separately provided 24,180 counselling sessions to individuals and couples during 2018 throughout the whole island of Ireland, which was less than that of 2017.

The bishop attributes some of the drop in figures to couples attending different private counselling services.

Other "problem areas" included unresolved arguments, inappropriate behaviour during arguments and dissatisfaction with their sexual relationship.

75 per cent of clients who saw data reviewed claim that their relationship improved following counselling.

Trending

Battling for covers and space, getting a kick or elbow to the side or waking up to something poking you in the back isn’t what we dreamed of sharing a bed with bae.

Although it does have its special moments when you’re cuddled up and you can hear the rain pelting the window, or he hands you a coffee as you wake up – nothing beats sleeping in your own bed.

Which begs the question; how does your sleep impact your relationship with your other half?

We are know how irritable we get when we don’t get enough of it and according to science, the lack of Zzz’s aren’t good for your love life either.

Cue the mad arguments, hypersensitivity and short-tempers.

In fact, sleep neurologist, sleep expert and author Christopher Winter explained how your brain changes when you don’t get enough shut-eye.

"Your brain’s ability to do things gets whittled down to: find food, urinate, get through the day,” he says.

So basically, you revert back to being a caveman – your brain switching into survival mode, which means you can forget sexy time, cuddling and anything else that requires more effort than a trip to the loo.

This means when it comes to bae and messing up – you won’t be quick to forgive and you can say things you mightn’t mean in the heat of your fatigue.

And sleep patterns are one thing psychotherapist, Heather Holly looks for when couples come to her.

“One of the first things I assess for as part of couples counselling are lifestyle factors. This includes the amount of sleep each person experiences on a nightly basis.”

“In many cases, we find a lack of sleep to be a contributing factor to relationship problems. More often than not, couples are oblivious to this issue” she added.

We all know that our sleep (and now relationships) often contend with our phone addictions and demanding lifestyles, which means we don’t usually get our eight hours of sleep.

But there are signs you need to watch out for, which indicate you’re suffering from sleep deprivation.

If you’re arguing more with your loved one, feeling resentful, or your enthusiasm and rapport are declining – it’s time to evaluate your sleep routine.

You could be damaging your relationship beyond repair – with the fun, wonderful aspects of your duo turning into what feels like a chore.

If you aren’t getting roughly eight hours of sleep – your body and mind won’t be functioning the way they're supposed to and you could find yourself single.

Your room is really important for a good night’s sleep, so make sure your mattress, the lighting and temperature are right – and throw your phone out of the room altogether – if you need an alarm, buy a clock.

If you can’t pinpoint the cause of your lack of shut-eye, talk to your doctor as there can be medical conditions which will disturb your sleep.

No one wants to be a grumpy b*tch or a caveman, so make sure you get a good night sleep, your body and bae will thank you for it.

Trending

Dealing with the fact that your boyfriend's best friend is a fellow female can be tough for some women.

Maybe you were hurt in a previous relationship and find it hard to trust people, or you just get a weird vibe from her, sometimes accepting his platonic lady friend can be a little relationship hurdle.

Luckily, there are ways to overcome this fear, which will hopefully prove to be irrational. 

6. Don't jump to any conclusions.

Just because this girl is friends with your boyfriend should not instantly suggest ulterior motives, she could literally just enjoy his company as a pal, and vice versa.

Think about how many guy friends you have, and how you'd never hook up with any of them behind your boyfriend's back. And if you would? Then you don't really have a leg to stand on. 

Image result for jump to conclusions

5. Trust his judgement.

If your boyfriend likes her, then there's a pretty good chance that you will too.

She's probably great craic, or shares an interest of his, or has just been there for him at some stage, and there is nothing to feel threatened about. 

4. Meet her!

Definitely don't avoid her. If you have a reason to think that she's shady, meeting her will help you get a grasp on things.

Plus, meeting her will help you see why your boyfriend likes her, and she may become a friend to you too. 

Image result for best friend

3. Relate to her 

When it comes down to it, she might have known your boyfriend before you arrived on the scene, so this might be weird for her too, losing out on time with her bestie.

Image result for girl best friend

2. Do not become emotionally abusive

All of those "hilarious" memes that do the rounds on Twitter showing women breaking their boyfriend's phones to prevent him talking to girls are depictions of emotional abuse passed off as low brow comedy. 

Don't ever try to stop your BF from talking someone or doing something that he wants to do, this kind of manipulation is not okay. 

1. Embrace your fellow female.

Women are taught to be in competition with each other over everything, but your boyfriend shouldn't be one of those things.

Your relationship is not one of those X Factor gossip columns where they pit two female judges against one another and critique everything about them,  it's your relationship with your man and her friendship with him. That's it. 

 

Trending

If the vast majority of battles with your brother or boyfriend boil down to their inability to admit they’re wrong, you’re not alone.

And while stubbornness and inflexibility are far from specific to one gender, a recent study has revealed that the presence of testosterone has a lot to do with an individual’s belief they are right… even when they are wrong.

According to professor of Behavioural Economics at Caltech, Colin Camerer, high levels of testosterone can prevent an individual from questioning themselves, and can cause a spike in confidence levels.

Dividing a group of individuals in half, scientists administered testosterone to one while leaving the other without.

Those who were high in testosterone answered 20 per cent fewer questions correctly than the other group, and ultimately struggled to reach the right answer.

"What we found was the testosterone group was quicker to make snap judgments on brain teasers where your initial guess is usually wrong,” he explained.

“The testosterone is either inhibiting the process of mentally checking your work or increasing the intuitive feeling that 'I'm definitely right.”

“If you’re more confident, you’ll feel like you’re right and will not have enough self-doubt to correct mistake,” Professor Camerer added.
 

Trending