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Experience

Last year, I went to a psychic and it pretty much put my life on hold for months, or at least, I did*

It all began in the summer of 2018, I was a little bit lost regarding a number of elements in my life and a family friend suggested that three of us go down and talk to a psychic. Two of my companions had already had readings with him, but it was my first time ever delving into this world and I thought it would be a bit of fun.

I am not really sure what I expected, but he allowed me to take notes which was a positive for me from the get-go. But I soon put the pencil down as he began telling me intimate details of my life and private conversations that even my mother doesn’t know.

It is fair to say I was fascinated and freaked. Questions I had been pondering for months were being answered without even being asked.

However, it was the details revealed by the psychic about my love life that made me hit the pause button on my life. At the time, I was seeing someone, it was in its infancy but as far as I was concerned, it was going very well. I was very confident back in the dating world as I had spent the guts of a year and a half single, getting to know myself after a four-year relationship had ended. 

The psychic told me that my current relationship would run into some trouble – and low and behold, a few weeks later – I was dumped. But I was told that this person would come back to me around Christmas time and it would be MY decision on whether or not to continue the relationship or kill it stone dead – and here’s where the trouble began, cue my not-so-inner control-freak being unleashed.

At the time of my new born singleness, it was late summer. Although I understood from the reading we’d hit a hard time, being dumped and the way in which it was done wasn’t something I had foreseen

He decided to take a job in another city about a two hour drive away, we had talked about it. He came to the conclusion that he didn't want to be in a long-distance relationship. The only problem is that he didn't inform me. He attempted to ghost me, refused to meet up and dump me to my face – note, this man was in his mid-thirties, he knew what he was doing was sh*tty. I was the one who had to ring and ask him what on earth was going on – and that's when he finally dumped me.

To add insult to injury, I found out a few weeks later that he didn't actually move for another month. So he had every opportunity to meet up with me and end it properly. I was so confused as he had treated me like a queen when we had been dating – and to end it like that, so negatively – I was shookth.

I was feeling VERY sorry for myself and frustrated at the entire situation. The idea that he was coming back made me cocky and act out in ways that I probably wouldn’t have, if I hadn’t have known. The end of us seeing each other was messy to say the least.

What came next then was a waiting game, I gave myself some time, attempted to date other people here and there to take my mind off it, as I had a similar experience with a guy I briefly dated before him, and it worked a charm. However, we had ended a lot differently.

In the back of my head, I foolishly believed that my ex would be on his merry way back and these dates were just something to kill the waiting time – BAD, yes I know, but secretly I never lost hope and the waiting really messed with my head.

The urgency to check my phone as the weeks and then months passed grew stronger and I could never really move on with anyone else because I had that past relationship still weighing on my mind.

As obsessive as that may sounds, in hindsight, I got caught up in the idea of this person coming back and the psychic being correct, rather than focusing on what I had learnt from the experience of being with this individual.

After a break up, I usually take time to knock back a tub of ice cream and come to my senses that we were either – a) terrible for one another, b) I had a lucky escape or c) what I had learnt from that time was very valuable and I wanted to bring forward to my future dating experiences. Then I pour any extra time I had given my dating life, back into me by replenishing and caring for myself.

None of that happened this time and closure never really came from the way we departed each other’s lives, the idea of us being totally wrong for each other was never really assessed. I was more curious about what could be and buried that logic entirely.

I was solely focused on what the psychic had told me about a potential future – which is a highly dangerous game to play. Instead of seeing this guy for who he was, I saw the fantasy version. The picture the psychic painted of our future was something I really didn't want to lose, even if this guy was completely wrong for me.

It really interfered with my life as I stopped doing things I loved, my self-worth diminished and I was miserable. And the worst part is – I didn’t and don’t have anyone else to blame but myself.

As you all know, it’s now January. Christmas has come and gone, and not to any surprise – I’ve heard nothing. However, I’ve learnt my lesson and the last couple of weeks have been great. The catalyst was a mutual friend sharing a group picture which he was in. He was happy.

I realised that this entire time I wasn’t living in reality, I was caught up in a fantasy world. He had firmly moved on and I was probably a distant memory. It was exactly what I needed to snap out of the spell I put myself under.

As for my experience with psychics, I have decided that my future is best left to reveal itself, it’s dangerous to be hopeful about the potential idea as it blinds you to reality, and I’ve learnt that I need to sit with myself a little bit more and be honest about what I want for the future and why I yearned so much for the life a stranger had created.

If you’re a believer in the future being laid out in front of you, never forget that we can always alter our course – and I for one, am calling time on my relationship with any more psychics.

I’m laughing and cringing now at my experience and behaviour, but at the time the pain of holding out and thinking I could control my situation was very real. My recommendation is not to try this at home kids.

*My experience was very much based on how I handled the information and not the reading itself.

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Buying Christmas presents for your significant other can be especially tricky; you worry they won't like it, not to mention sizing can be a whole other challenge, but really you want to buy them something that will show how much they mean to you.

Not to worry, we've put together our 10 best Christmas gifts for your guy for winter 2018, and each is as wonderful as the next. From skincare, to cologne to amazing experience packages, this list is better than ever. 

He'll definitely be thanking you for getting him any of these crackers, his gratitude will know NO BOUNDS. Hopefully…

1. Smartbox karting experience

Smartbox is the number one gift experience company in Europe, and it's not hard to see why. They aim to give people gifts which aren't material objects; instead they focus on giving adrenaline-fueled memories, romantic getaways and travel tokens as gifts.

It's a great idea to give to a loved one, and we know our significant others would ADORE a karting experience for Christmas.  

Buy: www.smartbox.com
Price: €99

2.  Clarins Men hydra-sculpt

Hydra sculpt focuses on moisturising and firming the skin, sculpting facial features, and uses the energising and soothing Clarins Men complex as well as the Clarins Men Anti-Pollution complex.

Give your man the best possible skin treatment with this gem of a product.

Buy: www.clarins.com
Price:€50

3. My Name Is Ted luxury leather magic wallet- special edition

My Name is Ted use 100% natural, vegetable tanned full grain Italian leather from Tuscany which takes two months to produce. Their newest edition of the Magic Wallet is absolutely gorgeous, is hand-crafted with seven credit card slots, a secret internal cash pocket in black olive with luxury suede lining and Christmas inspired stitching.

Buy: www.mynameisted.ie
Price: €99

4. Clinique for men giftset

Clinique for Men's latest giftset is for all skin types, and is a travel-friendly trio of daily facial formulas which encourage long-lasting hydration. Get your guy the skin products he deserves; this set includes the Charcoal Face Wash, the Cream Shave and the Anti-Age Moisturiser.

Buy: www.clinique.com
Price: €35.64

5. Payot Charcoal Exfoliating Gel

Payot's original black texture combines the super-absorbent properties of charcoal taken from Japanese oak trees with purifying and unclogging effect of kaolin, a well-known soft clay.

Blemishes are drastically reduced after this effective exfoliating gel, which has proven results. Your significant other will thank you after he gets the clearest skin imaginable.

Buy: www.payot.com
Price: €18.65

6. Lab series

The High Performance duo set and the starter series are both perfect gifts for a man this Christmas.

From anti-ageing to oil control; spf to razor burn; targeted solutions to all-in-one multitaskers- The Lab Series' range has definitely got you covered. Their Lab collection is formulated for men's skin, to keep it smooth and supple after shaving and maintain oil balance. 

Buy: www.labseries.com
Price: Duo Set, €55
Price: Starter Series, €27.65

7. Lierac Anti-Wrinkle Repairing Fluid

This revolutionary repairing fluid is for men aged 30 and over, and reduces the appearance of wrinkles over time. After it smooths and perfectly hydrates the skin, it regains its elasticity and tonicity. 

If he's worried about the visible signs of ageing, get him this fluid, trust us.

Buy: www.lierac.com
Price: €30.25

 

8. Delarom Homme Eau Sport 50ml

Delarom are a world-renowned French cosmetic brand, and luckily for men, have released their Homme eau Sport cologne which smells divine.

Since launching the cologne in 2012, the product has become hugely popular and is showing no sign of slowing down. Get your significant other this fantastic gift and he'll be smiling from ear to ear, and smelling even better.

Buy: www.delarom.com
Price: €39.80

9. Smartbox adventure experience package

Probably one of the most fun gifts you can ever give to someone, this package includes over 70 adventure experiences and will be sure to give your adrenaline junkie parter the ride of his life. From helicoper rides, sailing, bungie jumping and windsurfing, there's so much to choose from this wild present.

Buy: www.smartbox.com
Price: €249

10. Irish Socksciety

A quirky and humorous take on the Emerald Isle, the Irish Socksciety is one of the best possible present ideas; they're simple yet fun.

Socks may seem like a very ordinary gift, but not with this brand they're not. Their socks range from business, to Irish humour to Christmas themed, each as hilarious as the next.

They also custom make designs, so you can choose your own special one for your partner.

Buy: www.irishsockciety.com
Price: from €9

Happy shopping, ladies. Whatever you buy your man, we're sure he'll adore it.

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For the vast majority of us, being asked to be bridesmaid is a major milestone in any friendship. And providing your BFF doesn't morph into a classic Bridezilla, the experience is a genuinely lovely one.

However, there exists one particular task which leaves many bridesmaids feeling more than a little panicked, and that's the Hen, or more specifically, the organisation of the Hen.

With Hens getting bigger and more extravagant with every passing year, it's no surprise many of us feel the pressure to lay on a serious celebration in honour of our soon-to-be married pal.

But what do you need to consider to ensure the celebration goes off without a hitch? We take a look…

1. The bride's taste

With most capital city awash with inflatable dolls and L-Plates on a Saturday night, it's no surprise that Hens have  a reputation for being… well.. samey.

But it's highly unlikely every bride-to-be feels the need to don a sash and shift an inflatable man, so don't fall into the trap of ticking those boxes because you feel you have to.

If your friend is a real outdoorsy girl, she may well appreciate an adventure activity over a mani/pedi appointment, while a music-lover may well prefer a sweaty gig over a Prosecco-fuelled lunch, so don't pigeonhole her just because it might make it easier for you to plan.

Every bride has their own style. and that extends to her Hen, and while it's a given that many Hens want an element of surprise, there is no harm asking her to rule out certain activities or events if you feel it will add to her day and alleviate your anxiety.

2. The gang's budget

Money can become a massive bone of contention when talk turns to Hen and wedding celebrations.

Not everyone earns the same or owes the same, so while some of the group may have very hefty disposable incomes, others may be pinching every penny in order to make ends meet.

Now, there is no doubt that most people are more than willing to go the extra mile for a friend on her Hen, it's important as chief organiser that you take people's financial concerns into account.

Allow the invitees to contribute to the idea sheet and encourage the circulation of money-off deals if suitable, because nobody wants their Hen soured with ill will due to one person's insistence that 10 bottle of Champagne is an absolute necessity.

3. The Wow factor

Every Hen night warrants a Wow factor, and this can range from the sentimental to extravagant, but either way it's a must.

Whether it comes in the form of a gift or a venue, the bride-to-be should have at least one stand-out memory from her celebrations that momentarily took her breath away.

If it's a gift you're considering, a photo book which documents her favourite experiences with friends and the journey she has gone on with her future husband will always go down well.

If you want the venue to stand out, why not opt for a one-of-a-kind venue like Dublin's Number 22? From cabaret and cocktails to cafe culture and character, this is the type of venue that has a presence all of its own, and will go a long way towards ensuring an unforgettable night for your woman of the hour.

 

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Behind the blue door at Number Twenty Two is a unique and exclusive venue that combines the Library bar, restaurant and theatre club. For more info click here

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