During any serious relationship, the time comes when your boyfriend will have to square his shoulders, take a deep breath and step over the threshold to your family home.
He'll see your mother's mortifying china doll collection, he'll experience your father's humour and he'll watch you in your natural habitat.
What could go wrong? Well, just about everything.
Here are ten things guaranteed to happen while you're gathered in the living room, awkwardly looking at each other and wishing for one moment you could be single for the rest of your life.
1) Someone will tell a story with absolutely no point.
Well, thanks for that.
2) Someone will mishear him which leads to confusion and much apologising.
Wait, why is HE apologising so profusely?
3) Someone will make a joke he doesn't get.
Oh, so THAT'S his really nervous laugh! Wow. It's dorky.
4) Someone will be given the evil eye and everyone will pretend not to see.
They deserved it. They told a story with absolutely no point.
5) Someone's name will be momentarily forgotten.
He knows your dad's name is Alan. Did he just say Andy?
6) Someone (your dad) will repeat a joke multiple times because he thought it got a good initial reaction.
That was his nervous laugh, Dad.
7) Someone will attempt to break an awkward silence with a hearty 'Well!' or a hesitant 'Ehhh..' thereby rendering the situation even more awkward.
Ehhh what? Ehhhh what? Sat something, dammit!
8) Someone will remember an interest of his and will try to awkwardly incorporate into conversation. "So.. is it ehhh… house music you like, son?"
Abort! Abort!
9) Someone will ask him about his parents and he will forget each and every single detail about the people who raised him.
Should you help him out with a couple of first names? Your parent's are called Mick and Ann, honey.
10) Someone (your younger brother) will make a really harsh joke at your expense and you'll be forced to laugh.
Sound.
