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primary school

We all know that friends come and go as we make our way through life's various stages.

Some of us, however, are still BFFs with the person who was placed next to us in our Junior Infants class, and, as a result, they have seen us through countless phases over the last two decades.

And by result, we have seen them through the same, meaning we have the skinny on their every move.

So without further ado, here are 15 things you could only know about a person you go this far back with…

1. Their unique childhood habits.

Growing up with a person means you're subject to private knowledge about some of their most peculiar childhood habits – habits they'll convince you they've grown out of it, but you know better.

"Remember the way you used to do the Cha Cha slide at every disco? Pretty sure you were doing it in the pub last night."

Image result for not impressed

 

2. That odd irrational crush they had on that one person

You don't make it this far in life without having at least one crush you cringe over now.

Lucky for your best mate, you remember in excruciating detail exactly how much she was obsessed with that random corner shop cashier guy.

"Remember when you used to put on a full face of makeup when your Mam would ask you to run down to the shop for a pint of Avonmore, just in case yer man was in there?"

Image result for school crush

 

3. The points they got in their Leaving Cert.

Nowadays, as long as your friends are content in their college and career choices, you pay little attention to the ins and outs of their results, but back in the day, you knew your friends grades almost as well as your own.

"You're bound to get a B on that paper, but I'll scrape a C. I'll beat you in English though because I read the book and you didn't."

4. The name of their very first crush.

While you may think you know the ins and outs of your friends' relationships right now, current intelligence has nothing on the information you had on your mate's first crush.

"Remember the socks he always wore on non-uniform days? And what about that clicky pen he only used for History?"

5. The appalling outfit they wore to death.

Reminding your friends of their poor fashion choices is the sole reserve of people who have been friends since primary school.

"Remember your Susst jeans that you used match with that Gap hoody that didn't actually fit you? And that bakerboy cap?"

6. That 'thing' that happened 'that' time.

Everyone has a deep dark secret – a moment they would give anything to erase from their personal history – and you know this friend's one all too well.

"Here, remember the time you decided to prank call the principal….?!"

 

7. Their siblings' worst habits.

When you grow up with someone, you know their siblings' foibles as well as they did, and you were well within your rights to call them on it.

"Remember the way your brother used chew really loudly with his mouth open? That was really gross."

8. Their middle names

Whether she plumped for the classic saintly moniker on her Confirmation Day, or went for something a little more exotic, you know exactly where her middle names came from.

"I know I agreed that Britney was a top-notch choice back in 2000, but I was wrong."

 

9.  Exactly how much they earn

Only your true bestie knows exactly how much you pull in each month, and doesn't judge you for it either way. 

Oh, and you still go even-Steven splits on everything.

"Gal you get paid bi-weekly and I get paid monthly, would you mind grabbing us those flights and I'll get you back at the end of the month?"

 

Image result for wolf of wall street money

10. The voice they use when they're nervous.

Some things never change, and your mate's habit of going ultrasonic when faced with an awkward situation is one of them.

"I came over here to rescue you cos your voice is shattering glass right now."

 

11. The 'incident' their parents still don't know about.

There are some moments from your teenage years you were lucky to make it out of alive, and only you and your primary school BFF know the true extent of it.

"Imagine your mam found out what happened on Hallowe'en night 2002!"

12. The 'incident' they think YOU don't even know about.

Everyone has secrets; unfortunately for your primary school BFF, nothing gets by you, and that thing they think you don't know about, you do.

"So, whatever happened to those singing lessons you used to attend…?"

13. The way they take their tea.

Yes, it's a given you should know how most of your friends take their tea, but when it comes to your primary school BFF, you're a certifiable pro.

"Medium strength, Avonmore SuperMilk, one spoon of sugar and three quick swirls of the spoon."

14. The thing they're secretly so proud of.

Everyone has moments they're proud of and that's fine, but your mate harbours a secret sense of pride over the most random things, and only you know about it.

"So… do you still watch the recording you have of that time Ant and Dec read out your letter on SMTV?"

 

15. The things that will most definitely make them cry.

Some things are a given, but only you know the bizarre things that will set your friend off.

"Now, don't look, but there is a little old man reading a paper on a bench over there. Jaysus, don't look, you'll bawl."

 

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School was difficult at the best of times, but if you were on the nervous side as a youngster, those six hours in the classroom could feel like a living hell.

From awkward chats at the bosca bruscair to the horror of being asked to do a sum on the blackboard IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, school was a minefield and everyone had gotten an instruction manual except you, right?

Here are 20 (yes, just 20) things that would bring any nervy kid out in a cold sweat during what are supposed to be the best days of our lives.

1. Being left in charge of a younger class when you can barely look after yourself.
“So much responsibility on my young shoulders.”

2. Not getting a 'cool' reference
“What? Shifting? Yeah, do it all the time. Did it at breakfast.”

3. Not being able to find something for the Nature Table when you're Nature Leader that week.
"That's it. I can't take this pressure ANY MORE."

4. Being put in goals against your will.
“James, you're a reasonable man. Don't do this to me.”

5. Forgetting about the Trocaire Box until the last minute.
"Mam? Dad? Empty your pockets."

6. Cutting a circle that doesn't look like everybody else's circle.
"OH. MY. GOD."

7. When everyone one else's mam opts for clear plastic on their textbooks but your mam bumps for brown paper.
“It's like shes TRYING to give me anxiety.”

8. Being sent on a message halfway across the school.
“I'll never make it back in one piece… and oh my God is that person looking at me?”

9. Being forced to “gratefully accept” the offerings of classmates when you forgot your lunch.
“Oh for the love of… Spam.”

10. Having to move colour groups and make new friends.
 “They don't know how I operate! They don't know my mode!”

11. Thinking you've left embarrassing notes in the library book you've ALREADY RETURNED.
 "I returned my diary too, didn't I?"

12. When a new person joins your class and gets friendly with everyone straight away.
“Who sent you?”

13. Thinking that someone thought you might have cheated.
“I wasn't looking! Oh God, I wasn't looking!”

14. Having to do anything more than a wee in the classroom toilet.
 "Just…..five …more…hours."

15. Not having your journal signed after a serious 'Take a walk to the principal's office'  warning.
 "It's like I ENJOY feeling like this."

16. Not hearing a particular word during Friday's spelling test.
“I know! I'll guess…. hmmm… A.N.X.I.E.T.Y”

17. When your parents helped you with your Maths homework, but THEY DIDN'T DO IT LIKE TEACHER.
 "But that's not how we did it when we were at school, pet."

18. Not being able to find a partner when your teachers says 'Pair-up'
 "I'm going to die alone."

19. Being asked to tell the class 'a little something' about yourself.
 "Oh God, what do you want from me?"

20. Having to play with someone from another class because the teacher made you.
"Maybe let's not talk to each other."

 

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Remember when the day-to-day activities of primary school were the centre of your universe?

When playing with Mála was a viable lesson, arts & crafts on a Friday was the highlight of your week and you learned essential life skills such as how to use a ruler and how to knit funky patterns. 

You can still put those skills to the test this year by knitting a mini-hat for Innocent's Big Knit. What better way to use those essential primary school life lessons than to raise money for Age Action by working on some super cute patterns

And as if knitting wasn't one of the best things you did in primary school, here's 11 memories every Irish person has from their school days: 

1) When you lived for PE days 

Especially because you could wear your comfy trackie. 

2) When you had too many lined copy books to know what to do with 

And they made the transition to A4 sized notebooks in secondary school a serious challenge. 

3) You never recovered from the stench of thirty lunchboxes opening at break time 

An unimaginable odour 

4) When teacher would let you watch a movie all day 

The sheer joy of seeing a that big block of a television being rolled into the classroom 

5) When "an bhfuil cead agam dul go dtí an leithreas?" became synonymous with "I'm just really bored"

Because no one actually has time for maths  

6) When your mammy spent hours covering all your books in plastic and you didn't care

The books still looked a state at the end of the year 

7) When the end of the world was a lunch break spent in doors 

Damn you, rain! 

8) When poster competitions, window displays and art destroyed friendships 

If you diss my drawing of a tidy town, prepare to feel my wrath 

9) When paring pencils at the bin was the best excuse to chat to friends during class 

Even though teacher always knew what you were up to

10) When you were the undisputed champion of 'chasing'

Though you never ventured far from 'den' and you often cheated and called 'time out' just before you got caught

11) Your back has never been the same after unnecessarily oversized and stuffed schoolbags 

Unless you got a wheelie-bag and were the coolest person in school 

Nailed it!

Check out the amazing patterns on offer at Innocent's Big Knit this year and get involved

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The 1916 Rising is something that will stick with every Irish person, no matter what generation.

It's a part of our heritage, but sometimes sitting down in history class in school was sooo boring.

But, not for these 3rd class pupils from Sunday's Well Boys National School in Cork. They decided to spice their history lesson up a bit.

Instead of staying with the books and Powerpoint presentations, this 3rd class re-imagined the poignant event through Lego. 

The class reenacted and narrated the whole thing, and we have to say, it's pretty damn good.

Fair play, Sunday's Well Boys National School. Fair play. 

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School lunches: oh, how we lamented them at the time. But now? Now we realise just how valuable they once were. 

Granted going outside to clean the duster; cries of "teigh a chodladh", and gloopy bowls of nature table tadpoles were all highlights – but little makes us pine for the classrooms of yesteryear more than thoughts of lunch-box loveliness.

Yes, having been hit by a generous gale of nostalgia, SHEmazing! brings you the top six things that really make us hungry for a traditional primary school lón… just like mammy used to make them.

1. Swapsies  

Your mam just didn’t get it: you don’t like brown bread; you don’t do cheese, and smokey bacon crisps are not now nor have they ever been for the win.

Fear not! Even if your own lunch-box was looking less than appetising, there was always another child only delira to embrace your hand-me-downs in return for their own unwanted ware.

Everyone’s a winner! Except your unsuspecting “oh but you’ve ALWAYS loved under-ripe pears!” mam – who continues to this day to pile you with your least favourite lunch foods.

2. Penguin Bars

The day was always off to a good start when you found one of these gems snuggled in beside your sambo. Those with self-control saved theirs until big lón; others scoffed theirs during 11am sós.

Understandably, the idea of sharing was never entertained; if nothing else, it would have been far too challenging to try to pry apart the delicious, chocolatey biscuit exterior from the soft, sweet centre.

Almost as good – the gloriously woeful jokes on the back. Qs: How does a penguin make pancakes? A: With its flippers. Golden.

3. Billy Roll 

Ah, beautiful Billy Roll. If you strutted onto the playground with a Billy Roll sandwich, you could expect to be on the receiving end of many a jealous stare. You could hardly blame them. Mr Robert Roll was a treat of the highest order.

And even in the days before selfies, those feeling daring might delicately remove Billy’s eyes, nose and mouth, next placing the cold, moist piece of questionably-sourced processed pig on their faces for the ‘larf’. The messers.

4. Milk from a carton

Come rain or shine, you were always greeted at the school’s entrance by piled-high cartons of ice cold milk – all of which came complete with a straw.

You wouldn’t, of course, drink a glass of milk for love nor money at home, but put it in a cardboard box with a plastic drinking tube attached (gently warmed to room temperature too) and you suddenly you couldn’t get enough of the stuff.

Feeling fancy? Strawberry and banana varieties were also on offer on special occasions. And afterwards… oh behold – the pure joy of blowing into the cartons and jumping on them to make a loud bang.

5. Triangle sandwiches 

The traditional no nonsense sambo was cut down the middle, wrapped in tin-foil and contained ham, turkey or cheese (no uppity notions here, no siree). But then – lo and behold! – you also had the triangular strain. And for some reason, triangle sandwiches always tasted nicer.

The one downside, however, was that they couldn’t really accommodate a sprinkling of Tayto, which sadly meant no spur-of-the-moment crisp sandwiches.  

6. Popcorn

Popcorn at school was a BIG treat. A Ziplock bag of the homemade kind did very nicely, though the real Holy Grail was a bag of salt-filled, Manhattan goodness.

Taking the runners-up spot was a bag of Monster Munch.

Unfortunately, your classmates were also far more likely to dive their greasy hands into your bag to help themselves. You had to concede lest you be labelled a ‘scab,’ so a good ploy was to furiously stuff as much as possibly into your mouth before your peers had the opportunity to pounce. 

 

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1. “An Bhfuil Cead Agam Dul Go Dtí An Leithreas?”
Most important phrase of your childhood.

pee dance

2. “Téigh A Choladh”
And this was the extent of your knowledge of the Irish language by the time you left primary school.

bed_bread

 

3. Calling Your Teacher Mammy/Daddy
The single most embarrassing thing that could happen to you at this age.

embarrassed

 

4. Nearly Dislocating Your Arm Trying To Get Picked
And making yourself as small as possible when you didn’t.

hand up

 

5. Fingers On Lips
Your teacher usually blackmailed the class into being quiet by threatening to cancel P.E. or something similar if you weren’t quiet.

finger on lips

 

6. Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh Cards
Two of the biggest crazes that people born in the 90s lived through.

pokemon cards

 

7. Terrible School Tours
Usually to some really boring local information centre or museum.

bored

 

8. And Then The One Good One At The End Of The Year
Wooooo!

excited

 

9. Forcing Your Parents To Sit Through Terrible Christmas Plays
You spent months preparing for these plays, memorising lines and preparing costumes. But if you think back to them, just imagine how bad they must’ve looked.

bored1

 

10. Getting To Wear Your Own Clothes On The Last Day Before Christmas
Obviously this only applies to schools that had a uniform. 

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11. Elastic Ties
Again only for those with uniforms, Mammies everywhere would be horrified when you broke it using it as a missile.

suit and tie

 

12. Everyone Getting A Selection Box For Secret Santa
Boring and all as it was to give as a present, it was exactly what we wanted every year.

chocolate1

 13. And The Teacher Having Back-Ups For The Kids Who Inevitably Forgot To Bring Theirs In
Teachers were effectively just our parents from 9 to 3, so this is no surprise.

chocolate

 

14. Spelling Tests
Those were the days, when all that was required to pass a test was to know how to spell 20 words, and make sure all of the letters you wrote were facing the right way.

spelling

 

15. Insisting That Your Artwork Be Put On The Fridge At Home
A litre of PVA glue went into making that masterpiece, there’s no way you’re letting that go to waste.

drawing

 

16. Not Being Allowed To Swap Food At Lunch
Because who knows what any student was allergic to. Or maybe it was something to do with hygiene.

food

 

17. The Foot And Mouth Scare
Memories of dipping your shoes into buckets…

still not clean

 

18. Gold Stars EVERYWHERE
Get 10/10 in your spelling test? Gold star. Answer a question right? Gold star. Téigh a choladh the fastest? You guessed it, gold star. Teachers spent and continue to spend thousands of euro every year on gold stars.

stars

 

19. Sports Day
More competitive than the Olympics.

wheelbarrow_race

20.  The Kid With The Smelly Lunch
Very very smelly. You always empathized with the person sitting next to them.

smelly

 

21. Tara & Ben/Alive-O/Letter Land
Some of the great books that were part of the primary school experience for most people.

letterland

22. Injections
The only benefit to getting injections was that you got some sort of chocolate bar or sweets to keep you quiet.

injection

 

23. Practising To Receive Your First Holy Communion With Chocolate Buttons
Or practising with wafers, if your school was mean.

communion

 

24. Getting Ridiculously Excited When You Got Picked To Bring Something To The Office
Most of the arm dislocations happened when the teacher asked for a ‘helper,’ which could be to do anything from cleaning the blackboard to bringing something to another classroom, or the office, as outlined above.

excited1

 

25. When The TV Trolley Was Wheeled Into Class
With projectors in every classroom and broadband internet, primary school children of today will never experience this excitement.

tv trolley

 

26. Being Really Embarrassed At Sex Ed
The uncontrollable laughter made it impossible for the teacher to do much work. Not that it mattered, most people had the gist of how things worked down there by this stage.

Mean Girls_Sex ed

27. Circle Time!
Moving the desks against the walls, rearranging the chairs, someone usually started messing during all of this activity and ended up not being allowed to take part.

pivot

 

28. No Homework On Fridays
The single biggest shock when you entered secondary school is that you had to do work over the weekend.

doctor

 

29. No Homework On Birthdays
And it was so annoying when your birthday fell on the weekend, or during the summer. Especially considering no one had any sympathy for you.

toodaloo

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