It’s easy to hate someone when they’ve wronged your friend, treated her badly or are just an out-and-out jackass. But it’s a lot harder to deal with negative feelings towards someone when you know deep down they probably don’t deserve it, but God, sometimes you just can’t help it!
Here’s the thing though ladies, whether you like it or not, if your friend's boyfriend has done nothing but treat her well, then it’s your duty to make an effort with him. Yes he may not be your perfect partner, but you’re not dating him, you just have to see the good in him!
Here are five quick tips for navigating this awkward situation.
Be honest with yourself
Do you truly dislike the new beau or are you unsettled by the change in dynamic? With every new relationship comes a slight shift in friend groups. Girlie Saturday nights, which were spent vegging in front of The X Factor, are now missing a key player who’s having a romantic dinner with her new man That can sting a little.
Is the boyfriend really the cause of your beef, or are you just missing your friend a little?
Make an effort
You love your friend and she loves him, so there’s bound to be SOME way that you and him can click. Remind yourself of the various things your friend finds so appealing about him and use them to get to know him better. He’ll appreciate the your intentions.
He brought her out to a new bar recently and she hasn’t stopped raving about it, why not ask him about it?
Do not badmouth him
No matter how you feel about the new man in her life, do not, under any circumstances, badmouth him for the sake of it. Put yourself in her position and imagine how you’d feel if you were head over heels and your friend was constantly snide. It would seriously hurt, right?
If your friend’s boyfriend’s genuinely doesn’t deserve your sarky comments, then zip the lip, ladies. PRONTO.
Include him in your plans
Do you dislike him or do you actually not know him? If you’ve been keeping him at a distance then chances are your initial feelings aren’t going to change much because you’re not letting them. If you include him in your group plans, then you’ll slowly begin to make memories with him which could lead to a friendship or, if all else fails, gives you both something to chat about.
Next time your group is planning a wholesome day out , let him know and encourage him to come along! It may mean more to him and your friend than you think.
Remember, your friendship comes first!
If none of the above work and you recognise he’s a good guy, but you just can’t deal, don’t beat yourself up.
Focus on your friendship and allow your friend to chat openly and easily about her relationship. Make sure she knows you appreciate how good he is to her and you'll be an ear if she ever needs it, but that doesn’t mean you and him have to bosom buddies. No big deal!