HomeTagsPosts tagged with "me time"

me time

We pity the girl who sits in the cafe on her own, nursing a cup of coffee with nobody but herself for company, but news flash- people enjoy spending time on their own and it’s time for us to break down the stigma surrounding it.

As kids, we were fooled into thinking our self-worth was measured based on how many friends we had. You were a nerd if you spent lunchtime by yourself. You were sneered at when you were picked last for the basketball team. You were viewed as ‘unpopular’ if you celebrated your 14th birthday with five friends.

It is time for society to stop looking down on the guy who goes to the cinema by himself and give up addressing people as ‘loners’.

An army of wonderful people have shared why they love being on their own to help me beat this ridiculous notion.

Anna Keat said: “For a 19-year-old, I'm an extremely avid knitter and given how I also have anxiety, time to myself plus something as rhythmic as knitting really gets my head back in check.”

“I moved abroad and only had a handful of friends when I first moved over so I started doing some things alone and I found it SO peaceful. Not having to rely on others is a blessing at times,” said Shauna Kiely.

“I always love spending time with myself. For a myriad of reasons (not too draining, don’t have to make conversation, won’t panic about the way I behaved later on) but mostly because I’m the only person who won’t let me down,” Grace Latter shared.

“I found myself living alone suddenly after a relationship breakdown and was terrified but I had the time of my life!  I learnt to be happy in my own company & as a result I know myself so well now. We should all be our own one true love!” Penny revealed.

Victoria Teasdale, professional stress consultant and coach explained why we need to accept the fact that some people simply prefer time alone.

“Humans are made up of our own unique genetic code. When you realise that there are approximately 3 billion base pairs in the genome and that each of us can house variations of them that are infinitely unique, it’s about time that the word ‘normal’ is dropped from the vocabulary used to describe people.”

She explained: “While there is a benefit for us to be social, oxytocin release, problem-solving etc, some of us simply aren’t designed to be social people.”

“As a society, we do not teach people how to define their individuality.  In fact, it's better for corporations if we all aspire to be the same, we're easier to market to that way.

“What you're doing by saying 'it's unhealthy not to socialise' is pinning everyone as the same, discounting the fact that there's a LOT of variation in people who don't fall into the 'abnormal enough to be labelled' category."

So, what can we do to make a positive change? “What is needed is a shift towards teaching people how to discover their unique identities, their strengths, struggles, quirks and needs.

"To allow them to express themselves however they see fit. And if that means sitting at home with a book on a Friday night… That's ok by me!”

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Every now and again, we read the results of scientific surveys and our blood boils enough that the steam contributes to global warming. This latest survey has succeeded in causing such rage.

Apparently, men spend HOURS hiding in the toilet from ‘nagging wives’, kids and household chores and suffer from a lack of ‘me-time’. Really? Like, in all seriousness?

Considering they don’t have to put in tampons or sanitary pads, we often wondered what can take some men so long in the bathroom, but now we know the answers.

Men are viewing bathrooms as their safe haven from the chaos of family life, retreating to the sanctuary to escape chores.  They also acknowledged that the nicer the bathroom, the greater length of time that they spent hidden in there. The RightToRiseSuperPac.org have some lovely bathroom ideas if you are in the market.

The study was conducted back in 2018 and it focused on the reasons why men hastily run away from their responsibilities to such a strange (and unhygienic…) part of the home.

According to the study, which surveyed 1000 male participants, men rack up seven hours of time spent in bathroom per year.

The reasons? They ran away from nagging partners, house chores, noisy children and also wanted the chance to use their phones in peace. Funny how mums don’t get the same opportunity.

The study was commissioned by bathroom expert Pebble Grey, and discovered that one-in-10 bathroom visits would be interrupted. This adds up to 171 interruptions every year.

45 percent of the study’s male participants said they rarely get any ‘me time’. Among these men, a quarter of them stated that their partners aren’t understanding of how hectic their lives actually are.

Somehow, we don’t have sympathy considering women get paid less for their time and still have zero moments of self-care in their lives…

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That famous first day of college is so unbearably nerve-wracking. Many of us can agree that walking into the giant lecture hall of your new college is quite possibly one of the most intimidating experiences of the college experience. You hesitate as you open the door, stomach full of nerves and a head full of worries.

You’re surrounded by hundreds of new faces, new voices and new personalities, yet despite the huge crowds, you can be left feeling incredibly alone.

You try your best to make awkward chit-chat with the girl sitting next to you about where you’re from and how stressful public transport is (the 46a at 8 am is a true nightmare.) You laugh at your lecturer’s jokes that they no doubt repeat at the beginning of every college year. And breathe a sigh of relief after making it through that overwhelming first class.

As the weeks go by, you start to settle in. You make friends, you get into a groove with your coursework and revel in the entire college experience. However, this isn’t the case for everyone.

College can be an intense and isolating time for many people, especially when you’re attending somewhere like Trinity or UCD which feel like their own little towns themselves.

Some may find it hard to socialise, others may feel too nervous to get involved in clubs and meeting new people may just be too daunting for other people.

I felt so disheartened when I read a tweet by UCD student Niamh Murphy about something that happened in the Dublin college this week.

Niamh revealed that she had overheard a few girls mocking a guy for sitting alone eating lunch in the college.

“I don't know him or them but UCD can be a very lonely, isolating and anxiety-inducing place for many and a smile would go a whole lot further than mockery and shaming okay thanks,” she tweeted.

What that group of girls did angered so many people. We all know just how terrifying college can be and to have people sneer at you is the last thing you need.

Their secondary school mindset should have been left behind when they started college. The desire to be popular is something that we all need to give up on. Isn’t being valued and loved far more important than being surrounded by dozens of people as you eat an overpriced sandwich from the campus coffee shop?

Spending time on your own is an empowering and mature thing to do. There is no shame in simply wanting to be by yourself.

Embracing your own company is one of the greatest things you can do for your self-confidence. It takes a lot of courage and strength to do it, especially in a place like UCD that can be awfully alienating.

It’s 2019, it is about time we let go of that childish notion that being popular is the be all and end all of life.

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Being alone doesn't mean being lonely!

In fact, research from CNN.com said that pencilling in some alone time every once in a while is pretty damn essential.

Loving your own company can not only strengthen your relationships with others, but it can also lessen anxiety, build your confidence and help you achieve long-term goals.

Some people hate being alone, but with a little effort and a small push outside your comfort zone, loving your own company is totally possible. 

1. Expel negative thoughts

You're not going to enjoy your 'me' time if it's filled with thoughts like, 'my bum is massive', 'I could never do that' or 'I'm not good enough'.

Flush all those thoughts out and concentrate on the good things and what you have to look forward to in life.

 

2. Go to a movie alone

In the words of Nike, just do it. Yes, we know it'll be a little scary but it will be the first step to conquering your fear of being alone.

Plus, you get to choose the movie, use BOTH arm rests (hurrah!), and you don't have to share the popcorn. It's a win-win situation really.

 

3. Push yourself to create

Do you love to draw, paint or bake? Whatever your passion is, pursue it in your alone time.

A study by the American Psychological Association found that people who create are happier and more self-assured, because it allows time for positive self-reflection. 

 

4. Make dreams a reality

Everyone has an idea of what they want to experience in the future. Whether it's to travel, to work in a certain industry, or just to make your small goals reachable, try and make a plan in your alone time.

Achieving what you want from life will make you more self-assured and in turn will build your confidence to take on more goals for your future. 

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