Charlotte Crosby has been reflecting on her Geordie Shore days.
Charlotte had been part of the reality show from 2011 to 2016 and returned for the reunion series in Cyprus with her family earlier this year.
After leaving the show just two days into filming, Charlotte has opened up about a row that broke out between her and other co-stars which led to her leaving.
Sharing the details in the latest episode of her Always On podcast, titled Why I Will Never Be Part of Geordie Shore Again, the 33-year-old admitted the argument led to her raising her voice for the first time in front of her daughter Alba, which left her with ‘immense guilt’.
She explained, “I agreed to go onto Geordie Shore and I was really looking forward to it. Oh my God, I couldn’t wait. We were taking all of our families. We were taking Alba. She was still only a tiny baby, I think she was six months when we went out so still only tiny”.
“But I was so excited to spend time with the other families- Marnie and her family, Kyle and his family, Chantelle, everyone was bringing their families. Holly was obviously going to be pregnant so she was going to get a glimpse into family life and it just ended up going so terribly wrong”.
“I don't know why but that whole series, not even just the filming abroad, the whole series, I later discovered, was a bit weird. I just didn’t expect it to go the way that it did and for that reason I am sad, I’m sad for loads of reasons”.
Charlotte then began to cry as she continued, “I’m sad for the fact I took Alba and Jake, my family, into a show that I loved so much and it just went so badly wrong and I felt an immense amount of guilt for not knowing better”.
“I literally thought we were going to have such a good time and we didn’t not, we did have some good times, I was only there two days”.
“Basically, there was a silly argument, over a high chair of all things, that escalated and I just left because I just needed to get out of that environment”.
The reality star went on to reveal, "I'd never raised my voice in front of Alba ever, and I did in this argument, and I was like, ‘Oh God, I feel absolutely terrible’. I've never gotten that angry or wound up, and I have and it’s because of the environment that I’m in”.
Crosby then got upset again as she explained, “As a mam, you feel so guilty. I was riddled with guilt. I just felt anxious, I felt guilty. I think in the weeks I came out of the show I just felt awful. I was so worried. Had I made a bad decision going in there with my family?”.
Charlotte then revealed that she doesn’t think she’ll be able to watch the show because she is ‘so anxious’ about it.
“For that reason, I definitely don't think I could be involved going forward again, which is so sad. It's not because of any particular person, and it's not because I wouldn't go back because I don't want to be with them. It’s just because of how I felt after… it was so awful”.
When sharing a clip of the podcast to her 8.8M Instagram followers, Charlotte captioned the post, “Motherhood has changed me in so many ways and I am thankful for all of them, I have grown in ways I never thought possible. I realise that certain environments are not for me anymore. This is a brand new stage of my life”.
