Tips on how to survive the J1 summer
J1′s are a rite of passage for many Irish students. A chance to escape the rain and the parents. A chance to get fat and burned for 9 weeks, whilst immersing yourself in a somewhat foreign culture, further debt and a world of french fries with EVERYTHING.
Here’s all you need to know:
1) Cash
You are expected to have a lump sum of cash in your bank account upon entering the country (on the slight or complete chance that you may not get a job), be wise here, save up some of your drinking money because there is no greater fear than realising you have only three weeks to do so. However tough it may be to save, do it now because after week seven of a diet of six for a dollar noodles your stomach will sob a little. As will your weighing scales.
2) Spot The Paddy
You will spot your fellow Paddies at least 3 miles away. Yes we do think that we are so cosmopolitan and chic and could really be from anywhere but sadly the reality of the situation is that we are whiter than bleached milk, are all likely to be wearing the same clothes and nine times out of ten are going to be hungover, drunk or carrying a can concealed in a Maccy D’s cup. Stay classy guys.
3) At The Hotel/ Motel
You will most likely be living in a motel for 3 weeks whilst you search for an even smaller and more expensive hovel in which to be hungover on a daily basis. Enjoy having an actual bed and sheets because it won’t last for long and before you know it you’ll be pining for the day’s of motel life.
4) Cheap Alcohol
Be prepared to be astounded by how cheap the alcohol is. Let’s just say that a 1.75 litre of Vokda for ten dollars is worth the flights alone. A word of warning though, drinking beer is imperative to your survival, going on the cure every day is difficult when you don’t.
5) Housemates From Hell
It’s pretty much a given that you will spend your entire summer living with 13 others in a one bedroom apartment. It is likely that you will hate about 54% of these people. Be careful who you choose to go with or if you don’t know some of the people you are going with (friends of friends for example) at least meet them before you agree to anything. It could save you a lot of pain and bitching in the long run.
6) Beautiful Men
When you are surrounded by man upon beautiful tanned man, your best chance of success is working that accent to the max. Ham it up ladies because it may be the only thing that makes them see past the millions of freckles, sun blisters and lily white legs. #Sexyandweknowit.
7) Irish Friends vs American Friends
You’re probably going Stateside with the intention of making the very best of Irish friends forever. I can tell you from my own experience that new Irish friends won’t be much of a help. Americans are the way to go. Yes at first the Irish may seem great when you’re partying it up home style, but soon they’ll be evicted, homeless and no help at all. Americans on the other hand have cars, houses with actual furniture (it becomes such a novelty when you spend an entire summer sleeping/ sitting/ eating on an inflatable bed.) Soon you’ll be cruising around, being chauffeured to taco bell and getting wedding invites.
8) American Nightclubs
American nightclubs are not like Irish nightclubs. This is no Coppers ladies, shifting the face off some young lad up against the bar is a big no no. Do not leave the bar without tipping the barman, he will ignore you for the remainder of the night. Finally do not think that your mantra of “crouching tiger, hidden naggin” is acceptable here. The will find you and they will forcefully remove you from the premises.
9) Befriending The Neighbours.
For the first five days your neighbours will be friendly. You will be smiled at and be a novelty of sorts. Then when they realise that there are 14 of you sneaking in separately at 5am and vomiting outside their doors, they will hate you longtime and complain about you repeatedly.
10) (Un)Employment
Most of us go to America with the very best of intentions. A Summer of prosperous work opportunities awaits us. That is of course, until we get there and realise that weeks of drinking, recovering from drinking and general shenanigans is much more fun than working at a theme park dressed like a simpleton and earning next to nothing. Much more fun indeed.
11) Hitting Rock Bottom
I mean this in the financial, physical and mental sense. Financially, hitting rock bottom comes in the form of eating cookies for breakfast, noodles for lunch, noodles for dinner and noodles as a post nightclub snack, having to webtext your parents and tell them to ring you because the dollar that that phone call costs, could be the difference between sobriety and insanity.
12) Single Versus Not So Single
It is a firm belief that going on a J1 is much more fun when one is single. You go over with a sense of excitement and adventure, not knowing what or whom the summer may bring. All those in a relationship on the other hand either come over without their better half and spend the entire summer glued to their laptop, shouting that the Skype connection is a piece of crap, their tears dehydrating them further. Whilst the ones who come over as a couple, spend every waking minute hating one another’s guts, wishing they were alone and anywhere else. A lose lose situation really.
via our content partner, CT.
