Unless I'm totally ignorant to the world, very few people are morning people.
And if they are, they're probably also the kind of people who do laundry before they run out, answer every email as it arrives and never eats cereal for dinner.
Cosmo recently published an article titled 12 Things Morning People Do Every Day, and while we can all aspire to be like these remarkable beings someday, the rules set in place for being a 'morning person' are total notions. And here's why…
They say: Set only one alarm
We say: Setting only one alarm in the morning is a disaster waiting to happen. If you don't have a strong will to get out of your warm bed, you'll no doubt fall back asleep with nothing else to wake you.
Cue an awkward conversation with your boss as to why you're an hour late…
They say: And set the alarm 15 minutes earlier than you think you need to
We say: Noooo! Get all the sleep you possibly can. The writer of the article states, "Those extra 15 minutes of sleep aren't going to make a difference in the rest of your day, anyway."
Those extra 15 minutes make ALL the difference and are the key to us being acceptable human beings for the entire day.
They say: Skip the quality time with your phone
We say: Yes, in an ideal world we would rid ourselves of all technology an hour before we go to bed.
But, that never happens, does it? Those Instagram Stories aren't going to watch themselves, you know.
They say: Eat your breakfast sitting down
We say: Again, in an ideal world we would have our kitchen table set up with a delish breakfast and read the morning paper while munching on granola.
But, we savour our sleep and those extra 15 minutes that were mentioned above means we need to have a speedy breakfast. And that does not happen while sitting down.
They say: Make your dang bed
We say: This is the point in the article that made us LOL. Between getting ourselves ready, eating breakfast sitting down and neatly making our beds, we'd have to be awake about two hours earlier than usual.
Plus, doesn't a neat bed mean bed bugs? Now, nobody has time for that.
They say: Actually get up to exercise
We say: We have to admit that we see early morning gym bunnies on our way into the office, and fair play to them. We wish we could do it.
But, if we have to get a bus, a Luas or spend more than an hour in traffic trying to get to work, the most exercise we'll be doing is giving side eye to the person eating cheese and onion crisps on the 6.15am bus.
They say: Go. To. Bed. On. Time.
We say: *uncontrollable laughter* Because… we all know that's not going to happen, right?