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girl code

Last night, the world watched in horror as Love Island's biggest drama to date unfolded. 

Spoiler alert – if you haven't watched the most recent episode and don't want to know the gory details, I recommend you open a  new tab, watch the episode, and then return. 

Megan and Eyal seemed like a pretty cute couple, cosying up on wine tasting dates and enjoying a night of passion in the hideaway. 

However, last night, Megan expressed her desire to see other people, and move on from her fleeting dalliance wih the villa's self appointed spiritual guru. 

Her head was turned, as the islanders are fond of saying, by the dishy Wes, but as we all know, Wes is currently coupled up with Laura – Megan's friend, who definitely has feelings for the the nuclear and electrical systems design engineer.

Megan quickly embarked on her mission to let Wes know she was interested, requesting a kiss from him in a private chat where she revealed to him that she liked him, and later securing said kiss during a tense game of Snog Marry Avoid. 

Laura, understandably upset, dumped Wes and branded Megan a slew of slut shaming slurs (not her finest moment). Wes, as most male specimens do, went un-tarred and feathered by the promiscuity motivated put-downs. 

Interestingly, it was what Megan said about her history of female-female friendships that stuck out to me about last night's drama-filled episode. 

Megan told the cameras that she found it difficult to maintain gal pals because of instances like the one which just occurred. While it's completely fine if someone wants to place their pursuit of a romantic or sexual relationship over a friendship (frankly, the person being f*cked over by the friend and boyfriend in this situation deserves better) it's what Megan is implying by saying this that is concerning. 

I think, that by saying that Megan has no interest in female friendships, she is tapping into an internalised misogyny that allows her to place other women on a lower tier than herself, a tier that she perhaps she feels she shares with the men in the villa. 

It's a classic example of an 'I'm not like all the other girls' attitude. But I must ask, what the hell is so wrong with being like other women? And liking and respecting other women for their differences and their similarities? 

What could be more humane than treating the feelings of all people you come into contact with with dignity and respect, regardless of gender. By saying the Megan cannot keep friendships with other women, it seems that she is blaming the 'silliness' of other women on this fact – a chilling throwback to the stereotypical notion of female hysteria of the 1950s. 

Megan holds herself above the other women in the house and sees herself as the ultimate 'cool girl' by highlighting that she relates more to the men in the villa – which is reflected in her adamancy that the exploration of female sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, on par with male sexual desire. 

While she is absolutely right about that, saying: 'I’m a woman. I’m allowed to enjoy sex,' she seems to hold that standard only to herself, as we see reflected in her attempt to shame Laura for sleeping with more people than she has. 

While the dating rules and lighting-speed relationships in the Love Island world are strikingly different to actual, realistic relationships, there is no doubt that the basic rules of common courtesy should apply. 

 

A post shared by Laura Anderson  (@lauraanderson1x) on

Some call it the girl code, I just call it basic humanity. Laura definitely isn't my favourite character on the show (that would be the stunning Samira), but it is clear that she is an open and loving person who wants to be cared for in return, and Megan's mission of infiltration to destroy this on Laura for her own gain is plain mean. 

No one likes to be usurped by a romantic rival, and judging by Megan's infuriatingly excited expression, it is clear that she holds Laura's feelings far below her own chance at a blossoming relationship, be it potentially fleeting or otherwise. 

My suggestion to Megan would be that perhaps she has an inability to maintain female friendships because, rather than it being all the other women's faults, she's just not a very good friend. 

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As we mentioned earlier, Jodie Marsh hit out (AGAIN) at Holly Willoughby for not telling her she had lipstick on her teeth during an interview on This Morning.

Taking to Twitter, Jodie shared a picture which read, "There's a special place in Hell for a woman who does not tell another woman when she has lipstick on her teeth."

However, Holly has fired back, taking down Jodie with one simple gif.

The presenter took the the photo-sharing app to post a clip of her TELLING the model she had a lippy blunder just before they went on air:

 

#awkward

A video posted by Holly Willoughby (@hollywilloughby) on

Oh, Holly, you so sassy.

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1. Do Not Hook Up With A Friend’s Ex

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Let’s start off with the basics. We know you’ve heard this repeatedly, but no making out/flirting/batting eyelashes with a friend’s ex-boyfriend, -fling, -friends with benefits or -best friend. Why sacrifice a valuable friendship for a guy who won’t last and is inevitably playing both of you? He wasn’t great the first time when your friend took him for a test ride. Sometimes you have to take a step back and ask yourself: “is this worth ruining my friendship (or the ability to borrow my friend’s awesome new top next week)?”

2. If You Have To Be Selfish, You Better Not Give Yourself Away

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We were socialised to put others before ourselves but sometimes you have to think of your needs first — just make sure your girlfriends don’t know about it. Say, for example, you have two parties to attend in one night: your BFF’s Halloween bash and your crush’s birthday. Go to the Halloween bash first and then shadily leave, claiming that “you’re too drunk to be in public”. When you end up in your boy toy’s bed the next morning, you’ll have gotten the best of both worlds. Servicing your girlfriends and yourself — now that’s how it’s done, BOOM!


3. Dance Parties, Wine And Sex And The City Solve All When A Friend Is In Need

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A true blue friend is someone who wants to pick you up when you’re down, support you when you need it most, and promote your best qualities. What better way to show you care than by planning a quality evening with your other best friends: alcohol, music and Samantha? Every female loves a solid drunken dance party to let loose and pretend like we’re burning calories. And Carrie’s lame dilemmas will help take your girlfriend’s mind off her crappy break-up, job loss or rotten day.

4. Share Tampons With A Fellow Female

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It’s the right thing to do. Imagine being in need and having to resort to a makeshift toilet paper pad. Gross. Offering another lady a tampon is like giving Lamar Odom a second lease on life — you are saving her from complete humiliation. Pay it forward and you’ll have good karma.

5. Don’t Ask To Borrow Clothes From A Friend Who Is Noticeably Smaller Than You

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Are you trying to make things awkward between you two? No one wins when either she has to turn you down or you return her clothes stretched out beyond repair. You know better than to try and fit in a size extra-small, no matter how loose those harem pants appear to be.


6. ‘Like’ Any New Profile Pics, Selfies And Instagrams

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The easiest way to be a supportive friend is to ‘like’ all of her tagged posts on social media. Every girl needs a fan base and you are the founder of her club. It’s kind of like being someone’s mother — you have to be proud of all the things she shares with the world, including her uploads (especially the ones where she’s skinny-arm posing, head slightly tilted to the side and most likely stealing the scene).

7. Slut-Shaming Is Off Limits

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There are enough men on the planet making women feel bad about having sex, so don’t stoop to that level. If you’re friend is building a reputation, there will be a time for a friendtervention later. For now, let her roam free and enjoy her promiscuity — don’t rain on her parade just because you’re a dark, sexless cloud at the moment. What would be a better use of your time? Reminding her to use protection in a non-judgmental way.

8. Boob Touching Is Always Fair Game

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Punch buggies are so old school. If a friend is flashing some ta-ta that evening, it is absolutely your personal friendly-female right to touch them.

9. If A Girl Looks Intoxicated Beyond Repair And Needs A Friend, Be Her Friend

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No one wants to read another horror story about some girl who was too drunk to take care of herself and ended up in a tragic situation. Now, more than ever, is when a woman needs to help her fellow woman. You’re not only being a good Samaritan, you’re also preventing a future statistic. There’s just no excuse for leaving a defenseless girl behind. Doing the right thing builds your character as well as the women around you.

10. Always Tell A Girl If She Has Food In Her Teeth, Toilet Paper On Her Shoe Or Smudged Makeup

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You aren’t embarrassing someone by notifying them of their facial marking unless you announce it to the entire room. No one wants to walk around with eyeliner on their cheek or a half-eaten salad still on their mouth (but kudos to being healthy!). Do it politely and discreetly and you will be sure to score karma points.

11. No Girl-On-Girl Crime (Unless It’s A Mutual Enemy)

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Talking smack is never a good look, but sometimes it’s necessary to make ourselves feel better (we all have flaws). Generally speaking, it’s very unbecoming to run around talking behind everyone’s back. There are instances, however, when being a good friend also means engaging in some superficial sh*t talk. Unleashing the fury with stupid words is better than it all spilling out when you’re drunk and saying things you’ll regret later.

12. Your Friend Is Never Fat Until She’s Noticeably Eating Three Times As Much As You

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At some point, every woman has a fat day month or a comfort-food binge with Mr McDonald and Mr Jerry. This is to be expected and frankly, it’s encouraged. The red flags come when one day she notices she can’t fit into her jeans. When that happens, you have to have the uncomfortable “let’s sign up for SoulCycle together” code-talk. Just as you would like to be told when you’re taking late-night eating to the next level, it’s tough but important to gently relay the message to your friend.

13. We Ride Together, We Die Together

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At the end of the day, the people who understand you most and still love you for it are going to be your girlfriends. Treat them the way you want to be treated, appreciate them and show your respect. You need them just as much as they need you. Even when you can’t stand yourself, your girlfriends will.

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