‘What’s this yoke?’ 10 things your dad does EVERY Christmas Day

Dads are gas, and Dads on Christmas Day are especially gas.

While the rest of the family tend to evolve and mature as each year passes, there's something particularly steadfast about our fathers' behaviour on December 25.

Whether you're five or 25, you'll proffer the same presents, hear the same jokes, and endure the same digs.

And in honour of the dads in our lives, here are just 10 things every one of them does on Christmas Day.

1. Puts on the new jumper your mam bought him, and admires himself in the hall mirror when he thinks no one is looking.

"I'll cut some dash at mass, I'd say."

2. Pretends to know what he has supposedly bought for his loved ones.

"Ah, you know your mother looks after that."

3. Acts as if his one and only contribution to Christmas dinner has kept the whole meal afloat.

"Where would we be without these carrots, lads?"

4. Creates a very neat pile of the presents he's received and then disappears upstairs with them.

"Sure, I don't know myself with all my new loot."

5. Tries to make you laugh at mass before getting a bollockin' off your mam.

"Don't mind your mother, you know I'm hilarious."

6. Examines everyone else's gifts and acts as if he's discovered fire.

"And you're telling me every step you take is measured on this watch yoke?"

7. Examines every chocolate he removes from the tin, and insists they're getting smaller each year.

"In my day you could barely fit your gob around a caramel barrel,"

8. Insists there's feck-all on the box this Christmas, but manages to cram in a solid 14 hours of viewing.

"I'll watch it, but I won't be happy about it."

9. Reminds everyone about the best Christmas present he ever received as a young lad… for the 30th year in a row,

"A Raleigh racer, and Jesus, she was a beauty."

10. Invites the neighbours in, and then disappears after he's thinks they've outstayed their welcome.

"Jaysus, would she be as quick getting through a bottle of Baileys in her own house?"

 

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