Friend or frenemy? Here’s how to figure them out


There’s almost always one or two frenemies in any group of friends, and while they can be hard to spot at times, they do have some tell-tale characteristics, such as:

Getting too close, too fast
Building a relationship takes time – but a frenemy will just come rushing into your life, all guns blazing. You’ll be invited to every single one of her parties, she’ll text you often and tag you in Facebook posts so that everyone knows you two are friends. At first you may think that this is the friendliest person you’ve ever met, but soon, you will come to realise, all is not what it seems.

Telling you EVERYTHING about themselves
A frenemy airs out ALL her dirty laundry in your company. She tells you about her difficult childhood, her relationship problems or the fact that she once had a threesome. All this is followed by the statement that she’s only telling you because she trusts you. Or is it because she wants you to feel like you should repay the favour and tell her all your deep dark secrets? Beware!

Backhanded compliments
No one can dole out a backhanded compliment quite like a frenemy. “This dress would REALLY flatter your figure,” she says, while browsing the maternity section of New Look.

They love bad news
If you’ve just updated your relationship status on Facebook from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘single’, the frenemy will be on the phone ASAP, quizzing you on what went wrong – under the guise of concern, of course. Don’t give away any details you don’t want the whole world to know – that’s what she wants!

Passive aggressiveness
Can’t hang out today? A frenemy won’t understand. You’ll probably be treated to a passive aggressive one word text message such as “Fine.” No smiley. No kiss. No nothing. Don’t let this force you into promising to hang out at a later date, a real friend understands that you aren’t at their constant beck and call.

That feeling…
After a while, you’ll just know who is and isn’t a real friend. Anyone who makes you feel guilty for doing your own thing, tries to put you down as often as possible, or only wants to know about what’s going wrong in your life, is not a friend. Watch out for these people, they’re trouble!