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bad friends


There’s almost always one or two frenemies in any group of friends, and while they can be hard to spot at times, they do have some tell-tale characteristics, such as:

Getting too close, too fast
Building a relationship takes time – but a frenemy will just come rushing into your life, all guns blazing. You’ll be invited to every single one of her parties, she’ll text you often and tag you in Facebook posts so that everyone knows you two are friends. At first you may think that this is the friendliest person you’ve ever met, but soon, you will come to realise, all is not what it seems.

Telling you EVERYTHING about themselves
A frenemy airs out ALL her dirty laundry in your company. She tells you about her difficult childhood, her relationship problems or the fact that she once had a threesome. All this is followed by the statement that she’s only telling you because she trusts you. Or is it because she wants you to feel like you should repay the favour and tell her all your deep dark secrets? Beware!

Backhanded compliments
No one can dole out a backhanded compliment quite like a frenemy. “This dress would REALLY flatter your figure,” she says, while browsing the maternity section of New Look.

They love bad news
If you’ve just updated your relationship status on Facebook from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘single’, the frenemy will be on the phone ASAP, quizzing you on what went wrong – under the guise of concern, of course. Don’t give away any details you don’t want the whole world to know – that’s what she wants!

Passive aggressiveness
Can’t hang out today? A frenemy won’t understand. You’ll probably be treated to a passive aggressive one word text message such as “Fine.” No smiley. No kiss. No nothing. Don’t let this force you into promising to hang out at a later date, a real friend understands that you aren’t at their constant beck and call.

That feeling…
After a while, you’ll just know who is and isn’t a real friend. Anyone who makes you feel guilty for doing your own thing, tries to put you down as often as possible, or only wants to know about what’s going wrong in your life, is not a friend. Watch out for these people, they’re trouble!



As you get older, you’ll grow out of a lot of things – friends included. Here are the friends it’s ok to lose touch with in your 20s:

The gossipy one
Ok – so we’re not saying we don’t love a bit of gossip from time to time, who doesn’t? But if you have a friend who delights in the pain of others on a daily basis, then this is not a good person to be around. Remember the old saying: ‘those who gossip with you, will gossip of you’ – who knows what’s she’s saying about you behind your back?

The flakey one
Life gets busy in your 20s, so you don’t have time for friends who constantly cancel plans that you’ve made way in advance, or just don’t show up at all. If they really want to stay friends, they’ll make the effort. If not, then don’t feel bad about letting go.

The flirty one
When you’re young, it’s kind of fun hanging out with a girl who loves a bit of flirtation. After all, her charisma brings all the boys to the yard, does it not? But when you’re in a relationship and your friend can’t talk to your boyfriend without flirting with him, this is NOT good, and will only cause fights between you and your other half.

The jealous one
If your friend can’t be happy for you when good things happen, then why bother? Don’t waste your time with negative people, who only want to bring you down to make themselves feel better.

The overly judgemental one
While it’s great to get some advice from friends when you need it, some people can confuse giving advice with forcing their opinion down your throat. They can’t help but judge every move you make, and have no problem telling you what you’re doing wrong. People have to make their own mistakes, and your friends should be there to help you, not judge you.  

The user
Do you ever get the inkling that your friend is only using you? Maybe her boyfriend is out of town, or she needs a new job and thinks you can help – whatever the reason, if your pal only picks up the phone when she wants something, it’s time to say goodbye.

The drinking buddy
If all you have in common with your friend is the ability to down a pint of beer, then perhaps you’re not really friends at all. This friendship may seem like a lot of fun, but would you be able to call them in times of trouble? If the answer is no, perhaps you have one less friend than you thought. 

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