19 signs you are a total hypochondriac
Some people worry more than others, and some people are hypochondriacs. If you do most of the following, chances are you may be on of them…
1. You Have Web MD Bookmarked
You use Web MD for everything. Before Web MD you were probably a normal human being. However since you started using it you have had a mild encounter with Leprosy and Malaria.
2. A Headache is Never Just a Headache
A headache, is at best a migraine. Neither is backache just from carrying all the groceries in at once, it’s kidney problems.
3. You Will Never Be Seen Caring for a Sick Friend
At the first sign of a cough you are gone in a puff of smoke. They are banned from your house and you proceed to disinfect everything they’ve touched. If only you had the expendable income to burn everything they’ve breathed on.
4. Public Transport is your Mortal Enemy
Buses, trains, planes. They’re all unclean! The thought of holding a railing going up the stairs makes you shiver.
5. If You Do Get Sick You Plot Revenge
If the unlikely does happen and you are plagued with the common cold, you trace your steps to figure out who was the last person that coughed in your presence.
6. You Want to Cry When Someone Takes a Drink of Your Drink or a Bite of Your Food
We're not talking about a complete stranger. Anyone would be taken aback if that happened. We're talking about a close friend who asks for a bite of your pizza. The idea of sharing food is alien to you.
7. Your Doctor Hates You
Your doctor would love to call in sick himself if he knew you were making an appointment. You’re even a regular at A&E.
8. You are the Most Insensitive Person When it Comes to Other People’s Issues
Other people are the hypochondriacs, not you. Oh no.
9. You Know Exactly What GMOs, Trans Fats, Tartrazine and Triacetin are
You’re a waiter’s worst nightmare because you strongly believe that every type of food is out there to kill you.
10. Having a Friend Studying Nursing or Medicine Is The Best Thing To Ever Happen to You
You have no qualms about ringing them in the middle of the night because you’re not sure if you just slept on your arm funny or if it’s the early signs of a stroke.
11. You Carry A Mini Pharmacy Everywhere You Go
You are prepared for all scenarios. Headache, sinus, feeling bloated, feeling constipated, allergy medication, plasters, antiseptic. Of course you still need immediate medical advice too.
12. Hand Sanitizer is your Best Friend
Literally, everywhere you go, it comes with you.
13. Handshakes Make You Squirm
This is where your bestie comes in. You try at all costs to avoid people’s filthy, germ riddled hands
14. You Know the Exact Routine of Your Bowel Movements
Any irregularity has you typing into Web MD once again.
15. Public Bathrooms
Instead of seeing a place to relieve yourself, all you see is a pool of germs, bacteria and life altering diseases. The thoughts of using one sends you into a panic attack.
16. You Despise Handryers
Normal people don’t understand this. But you know all this machine does is make all those germs airborn. Shouldn’t have even bothered washing your hands in the first place.
17. You Have A 3-Strike Rule
Because going to the doctor is expensive you’ve developed a system. If you have two of either nausea, fatigue or a headache, you can go to the doctor.
18. You Wish You Could Just Get Your Appendix Out
You know it’s a ticking time bomb that must be stopped.
19. You’re Obsessed with Medical TV Shows
Whether it’s real or fiction,you are obsessed with these shows. You feel they give you the necessary qualifications to be able to self diagnose yourself and question your doctor’s qualifications.
via our content partner CT
