Chia…what? 7 reasons why we all need to get OVER ‘clean eating’

Unless you're adept at ignoring the countless social media posts waxing lyrical on the topic of 'clean eating', chances are you have, on some level, internalised the philosophy.

And whether you practice it or not is beside the point because the sheer number of posts celebrating it means that many of us get a pang of guilt when we tuck into our nightly pack of Malteasers or weekly takeaway.

While eating well and working out are absolutely essential for mind, body and soul, eliminating certain food groups, counting macros and imbibing more green stuff than you can shake a stick at is not the most pleasurable of activities.

And being forced to read about it on our social media feeds is even less interesting.

Here are just seven reasons we need to get the f*ck over 'clean eating'.

1. The term alone suggests that everything else we eat is somehow dirty, and no one needs that negativity in their life.

"I can literally SEE my face in this doughnut glaze. Dirty it is not."

2. Green tea is not the same as a steaming mug of Lyons, and no amount of brainwashing can get us to think otherwise.

"It's like a penance, and what did I do to deserve it?"

3. Gwyneth Paltrow is an advocate of clean eating – need we say more?

"I won't take life lessons from a woman who wore THAT dress to the Oscars."

4. A 'clean eating' lifestyle does not come cheap,  and who has time to source organic products at every turn?

"I may be eating clean, but I'll never own my own home at this rate."

5. The level of smugness that accompanies a newfound clean-eating convert is more than flesh and blood can stand, frankly.

"Oh, you used Chia seeds, did you?  And you caught the salmon yourself? Well, aren't you a treat?"

6. The health benefits of 'clean eating' are not worth the half-hourly trips to the bathroom to expel the sheer amount of water you're advised to drink.

"Everyone in the office is going to think I went to that dodgy kebab shop for lunch."

7. Turning your back on the glass of wine you so desperately want at the end of a busy week want may be good for your waistline, but it sure as hell isn't good for your soul. 

"I'd rather be drunk than virtuous right now."