In light of the Tristan and Khloe cheating drama bubbling to the surface once again, it's time to unleash a cheating guide.
Let's face it, no matter how you find out – it's absolutely gut-wrenching.
I'm truly sorry it has happened to you, but here's what you SHOULD and SHOULDN'T do.
DON'T contact the person your partner cheated with.
Even if the other person is the one who has told you about your partner's infidelity, thank them and BLOCK.
The reason why you should block their number and give them a social media blackout is for your own piece of mind.
Before you hit the block button, evaluate the evidence they have sent you – in the VERY rare cases that you need to explain further, you can ask.
But after that, it's time to move away from that source of pain, particularly if they're still actively pursuing your partner.
It's tempting to go after them, slander their name and hold them accountable, but at the end of the day, it's your partner's fault – NOT THEIRS.
I just want women to remember that if your man goes off cheating – do not blame it all on the damn girl. Some women literally make it seem like the b*tch held a gun to his head. It takes two. Your dude made a choice when he decided to be unfaithful. Drop em both. Grow up.
— TEESH (@Missy_Teesh) November 17, 2018
DO look at the cheating evidence calmly
This is a hard one; keeping cool in such an emotionally charged situation takes some serious discipline.
However, you need to make sure you have concrete evidence that your partner has actually done the dirty.
This way, when you confront them – they can't lie their way out of it AND you aren't jumping to conclusions without any proof.
Because if you get it wrong – although you can apologise a million times, the damage to the trust within the relationship will be huge.
If you're still uncertain about what you have received, my advice is to sit back and watch your partner's actions.
Are they taking a little more pride in their appearance? Has your sex life died or rocketed? Are they being nicer for no real reason? Take notes and gather the information you need.
Your gut tends to have an intuition about things kind of things, anyway.
Cheating on me is easy, but learning to walk after I shoot you in the knee caps is hard. Stay loyal or stay limpn, pimpin.
— HD RCH (@Auria__) November 19, 2018
DON'T explode when you confront your cheating partner
I wish someone had given me this advice when I found out my partner had cheated on me, because exploding at him didn't help.
The calmer you are, the more likely you are to get answers from your unfaithful bf/gf.
Although it would be wonderful to scream and shout at them about how much you hate them for what they did – that reaction makes you as bad as they are.
You aren't being a walk over by being level-headed and you're keeping your dignity when they've lost theirs – don't stoop.
DO get out the anger in healthy ways.
Punch a pillow and not a wall.
Go and put all the angry energy into a workout or baking. Do something that will give you the release but with a positive outcome – like cookies.
And do cry, howl and scream when you're away from the cheating b*stard whilst screaming your heart out to a tonne of I hate you break up playlists.
Use friends to vent and cry with and just get it all out.
"I don’t do revenge but I can ignore your entire existence."
— KATANUNGAN© (@AngTanongKoSayo) November 19, 2018
DON'T try to get revenge
Wouldn't you love to make your ex or currently cheating partner feel as bad as you feel when you found out? – If you're nodding yes to this – you may want to reconsider.
If you want to save the relationship, this mindset is a dangerous one.
You'll only create a toxic situation and if you're now single – keep your head held high and don't bother wasting any more energy on the pr*ck.
If you go out seeking to kiss or sleep with someone to get back at your partner – I can guarantee you'll only make everything worse.
The only thing real revenge you can give your ex is being truly happy without them.
DO invest in yourself
It's a ridiculously hard time, the one person you trusted and loved has betrayed you.
So now it's time to invest all the energy you gave the relationship into yourself.
Plan out nice activities, like going to get a facial or a haircut – treat yourself.
After everything you've been through, you deserve some self-care.
DON'T over analyse why your partner cheated
We always question what WE'VE done wrong in the relationship for our partner to wonder to someone else.
Sometimes it comes as a total shock and other times, deep down we knew it was happening.
But the most important thing to know when you're going through this is – you don't hold any answers.
Your partner will be the only one who knows why they strayed and you may never ever get the real truth.
If you do decide to stay with the cheater, I highly recommend going to couple's therapy to help navigate these questions.
when you love someone, you don’t take that love for granted. you treat them with kindness. you give them respect. you never even think about cheating on them.
you don’t screw them over
— karlee (@hhtplee) November 20, 2018
DO hold your cheating partner accountable
The old saying: once a cheater, always a cheater is sadly true for most cases.
You can hold your partner accountable for his/her actions – so if this means ending the relationship, do so.
But if you stay, recognise the pain, and take time to heal. Then you have to move forward with your relationship.
This doesn't mean you've let it go completely, but you've got to decide what you want from the relationship moving forward.
What will it take for your partner to gain your trust back?
DON'T go through their phone/invade their privacy
Okay, it's perfectly reasonable to have a look through their phone if you've caught them red handed.
But if you chose to stay, you have to respect your partner's privacy.
So if you're regularly checking their Facebook messages and phone for suspicious messages – it's time to look at your relationship again.
A healthy relationship consists of mutual trust and respect, which includes their right to privacy, even if they've done something really sh*tty.
We were at dinner and my dad was talking about cheating and said “After all this time, I’m still unsure what possess someone to cheat. If you spend time becoming so emotionally invested in someone, what’s the point… for a random hookup?”
Need more people with that mentality
— Emily Shaw (@emmshaww) November 18, 2018
DO take some time away from that person – you're in no rush
Time is on your side here. You don't have to make any rash decisions about your relationship.
If your partner is truly sorry for their actions, they will allow you space and time to process what has happened.
If they aren't willing to wait – RUN, they've done you a favour and shown you their true colours.
But once you've made a choice either way – live with it.
This means if you've chosen to stay, you can't bring up the cheating in every argument or every time you feel insecure – this only undermines the relationship and it's demise will soon follow.
If ur not ready to be in a relationship with someone, just tell them, don’t lead them on. If u hook up with someone & aren’t feeling them like they’re feeling u, just let them know, don’t play games. If ur dating someone & the love isn’t there anymore, end it don’t start cheating
— Gabby David (@GabbyJDavid) November 19, 2018
But if you give it a go and sometime later, you decide that you can't continue – that's perfectly fine too. You need to be honest with yourself about what you're willing to accept.
And lastly, this should be a given, but for your own sake, DO NOT plaster it all over social media. You might regret it and delete it all, but one word – screenshots.
Now two fantastic men are calling your name – it's called Ben and Jerry's – so indulge and remember, it can only get better from here.