The eight horrible stages of hunting for a new apartment


Ah, house-hunting. Things always start off so well with dreams of bay windows, heaps of natural light and giant cloud-like beds.

Then all of a sudden you find yourself handing over your entire month's wages as a deposit for a glorified prison cell that smells like old cheese. The joys!

If you're unlucky enough to be looking for a new rental at the moment, here are some of the stages you're no doubt going through…

1. False hope
I know the markets tough, but I'll probably get lucky, right? RIGHT?

2. Trying and failing to find ANY houses on Daft, let alone nice ones
But the world is full of houses? Why in God's name are none of them up for rent?

3. Re-evaluating your budget after about five minutes of searching for places
So… we're going to need to rob a bank. Now.

4. Going to some seriously dodgy house viewings…
"Oh, yeah, I love this kitchen-dining room-bathroom-bedroom combo. It's so cosy."

5. And yet still having to queue behind fifteen other hopefuls
Why, cruel world?

6. Frantically emailing landlords within ten seconds of a new listing going up on Daft

7. Finally getting an offer in AND getting accepted
Your prayers have been answered! Who cares how much the deposit is? We just won't eat for a few months.

8. Hiding your depression at the fact that your new place is really very grim
Oh… it's fine. We'll just hang up some fairy lights and have loadsa candles. It'll be FINE. *runs away sobbing*