The 9 stages of finding somewhere to live


There is nothing more irritating than looking for somewhere to live. Here is the emotional cycle of trying to find a place to rest your weary head: 

1. Optimism

There are thousands of houses, hundreds of thousands, you reason with yourself. It’ll be a mere doddle, a walk in the park, a breeze. You’ll have your pick of the best there is to offer. In fact, as far as you can see, the only problem will be too much choice. First world problems, if you will.

2. False Hope

So you’ve done a little research and you’ve sadly discovered that all is not as it first seemed. To say it’s grim out there would be an understatement, but never fear, this is only the tip of the iceberg. There’s something out there for you, in fact there’s probably a few things out there for you. You’ve got this all under control.

3. Shock

The full blown madness of rent prices, combined with the quality of the properties out there has finally hit you smack bang between the eyes. This is shocking, quite frankly. Nobody prepared you for this travesty. A cunning ploy then springs to mind. Maybe if nobody else is prepared to pay these ridiculous prices, then the rent charges will drop dramatically? Doesn’t really seem to be the feeling of the huge queue of people waiting to view that crummy bedsit though, does it?

4. Panic

After a week or two of being a tad too laid back about the whole thing, you’ve quickly come to realise that it’s time to take things up a notch or five. What happens if you don’t? Well, you calmly understand that you’ll have to end up pitching a tent somewhere on the side of the M50, that’s what. Cue six hours a day spent trawling rent websites and ringing false numbers in a desperate bid to speak to whatever cowboy is charging seventeen times the appropriate amount required to inhabit a box room.

5. Desperation

That Friends style apartment overlooking the canal with the hot neighbours and nine bars next door is probably not within your reach, you can accept that now. Acceptance is key. You can now move onto smaller and lesser things. At this stage you plan on taking anything that comes your way. However small, damp and inconveniently located that it may be.

6. Denial

Yes, you’re aware that your lease is up/ college starts/ work begins in just a matter of days, but all is not lost. There are at least three new properties appearing online every single day and the fact that there are thousands of people viewing them, does nothing to deter you. You flinch every time someone mentions the words ‘commute’. This will not happen. You keep on telling yourself that.

7. Hatred

You have now begun to hate the property market, landlords, leasing agencies, yourself, your housemates to be, your parents, more landlords, money and life itself. You are filled with so much hatred that it is bursting to escape from your poisonous self. At this stage you are beginning to consider hibernating in hedgehog style, under a garden shed. It’s beginning to look like the only feasible option.

8. Hopelessness

You’ll never find anything. This is it. You’re screwed. It’s hopeless. You keep on trying to resign yourself to the fact that living with the parents won’t be all that bad, but really, whenever you actually try and imagine it, you come close to tears. Meanwhile, numerous thoughtless, selfish idiots insist on putting up ‘feeling relieved’ statuses about their amazing house success and it’s doing nothing to help keep your rage under control. NOTHING.

9. Relief/ Ecstasy

Just when you thought it was all over, that phone call comes through. You’re being offered that mouldy, out of the way, cramped, dusty kip and you could NOT be any more excited about it. Who needs food, alcohol or heat when you’ve got a bed and four walls anyway? House warming!

via our content partner CT