Making friends as adults: The stages and struggles


We’ve all heard of holiday romances that fizzle out the minute the couple return to normal life and J1 friendships that couldn’t stand the test of time back in rainy Ireland, haven’t we?

But have we thought about the friendships we attempt to forge with people we meet at parties or have we completely blocked out that horror?

We’ve all been there. Your friend promises to stay by your side at some alcohol-based gathering, but as you predicted, she ends up ditching you and creepin' on that guy like a cray-cray loon.

So what do you do?

You vow firstly to never forgive her and secondly to set your sights on the nearest other loser. (The first one being you, obviously)

In your happiness at actually having someone to talk to, you mistakenly conjure up a connection which should never have been initiated in the first place.

Here are the seven stages we experience when making friends as an adult.

The introduction
You’re standing alone, holding your coat.

They’re standing alone, holding the key to your treasure trove of jokes and anecdotes.


This person doesn’t know your Ayia Napa story. They haven’t seen your Eamonn Dunphy impression.

There’s so much to share! There’s so much to give!


How are you only meeting this person now?! Would you look at them at the bar, they’re GAS!

Shots? Yes! A common bond over Sweet Valley High? You know it!

One-to-one coffee next week?

Absolutely! Name a time, champ!

The meet-up
And then you meet up. It’s just the two of you. My God, this is like a date.

Why did you use all your best material the other night?

Your real friends don’t make you feel like this. They let you repeat your stories.

They’re not constantly seeking the new! My God, give me a chance!

Manners dictate you must suggest seeing them around again. Manners dictates they must suggest the same.

I’m never going to another party again. Where are my real friends?