How to know if he’s invested in your relationship

Do you feel like you're the only one putting effort into your relationship? Do you wish your partner was more invested and committed to building a strong connection with you? We're taking a look at the practical and effective ways to get your relationship of that kind of level, from improving communication to creating meaningful experiences. 

Why does he seem like he's not that interested in investing time in the relationships?

There can be many reasons why men may not invest time in their relationships, ranging from trust issues to feeling vulnerable, as well as other less talked about reasons.

Mommy Issues: Mommy issues in men can manifest in a variety of ways. For example, they may have difficulty forming close relationships with women or may struggle with intimacy and emotional closeness. However, it is important to note that not all men who struggle with investing time in their relationships have mommy issues.

Fear of Vulnerability: Some men may struggle with being vulnerable with their partners, making investing time in the relationship difficult. They may worry about being hurt or rejected and may avoid investing time as a way to protect themselves.

Work/Life Balance: Men may be focused on their careers or other obligations, which can make it difficult for them to prioritise their relationships. This can lead to a lack of investment in the relationship.

Trust Issues: Men who have experienced betrayal or trauma in their past relationships may struggle with trusting their partners. This can make it difficult for them to invest time in the relationship, as they may be hesitant to open up and be vulnerable.

Personal Issues: Men may be dealing with personal issues such as depression, anxiety, or addiction, which can make it difficult for them to invest time in their relationships.

How to help him get invested in your relationship 

Building a strong, healthy relationship takes effort from both partners. If you feel like your man is not as invested in your relationship as you would like, there are steps you can take.

Communication: this is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, and it can be a powerful tool for both sides. The way in which you communicate is key:

  • Be Clear and Honest about Your Feelings: Don't be afraid to express your emotions and let your man know how you feel about him and the relationship. Communication is all about expressing yourself, so don't hold back.

  • Listen Actively: Communication is a two-way street, so make sure to actively listen to what your man has to say. Pay attention to his words and nonverbal cues to better understand his perspective.

  • Be Open to Compromise: Relationships are all about compromise, so be willing to meet your man halfway. If he has concerns or reservations about the relationship, listen to what he says and try to find a solution that works for both of you.

  • Create a Safe Space for Communication: Make sure your man feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. Be supportive and non-judgemental, and avoid criticizing or belittling him.

  • Schedule Regular Check-ins: Regularly checking in with each other can help keep the lines of communication open and ensure that both of you are on the same page. This can be as simple as having a weekly date night or check-in session.

Spend Quality Time Together: this one sounds like a simple one, but it can often be missed, so you both need to learn to make it a priority:

  • Plan Regular Date Nights: Setting aside time each week or month to spend together without any distractions is important. This could be a dinner date, movie night, or any activity that you both enjoy.

  • Be Present in the Moment: Put away your phone and other distractions when you're spending time together. Focus on the present moment and enjoy each other's company.

  • Try New Things Together: You can discover new activities or hobbies together. This can be a great way to bond and create new memories.

  • Plan activities that both of you enjoy doing together. This could be anything from cooking a meal to going for a hike or watching a movie. This helps to create shared experiences and can strengthen your bond.

Build Trust: if there is no trust it's difficult to move a relationship forward, when you both feel trust there will be an easier path to an investment for both partners. To ensure you achieve this:

  • Keep Your Promises: If you say you'll do something, follow through. Keeping your promises shows your partner that you can be reliable.

  • Respect Boundaries: Everyone has boundaries, and respecting them is important. If your partner has limitations, you should respect them rather than push them. Instead, work together to find a compromise that works for both of you.

  • Be Consistent: Consistency is essential when building trust. Be reliable and dependable, and do what you say you will do. This will show your partner that they can count on you.

  • Show Appreciation: In as much as we need to feel loved and appreciated, your partner does too, so it's important to show it. Showing appreciation will help build a positive relationship and foster trust.


Investing in a relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners. By fostering open communication, expressing appreciation, creating shared experiences, and respecting each other's boundaries, you can help your man become more invested in your relationship. Remember, a strong and fulfilling relationship is a journey, not a destination, and it's worth putting in the time and effort to make it thrive.

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