Body-positive Instagrammer on the pitfalls of ‘fake happiness’

Body positivity has come on in leaps and bounds in recent times, with celebrities and social media influencers showing sides to their bodies that people didn't show in the past.

Personal trainer, fitness competitor and mental health advocate, Victoria D' Ariano, shows us that even the fittest, most well-trained bodies have so-called imperfections and that these imperfections are both perfect and beautiful.

 

CHEAT MEALS. Let's talk about my past relationship with these It was "cheat meal" day. I wouldn't touch any carbs and eat as little food before my workout so I could "save" my calories for the cheat. Sometimes I would workout extra hard because I knew I was getting a cheat other times the anxiousness I felt made me distracted. Once my workout was done, I expected others to be done and would be pacing around manically seeing if they were finished or if they could be done as I couldn't wait to go get food. If I had to wait, the anxiety would build up and lead to anger and frustration. The drive to the restaurant always felt uneasy, I couldn't sit still as I was so anxious to indulge, to allow myself to eat without judgment. Waiting for my food at the restaurant was a blur as my mind would be so fixated on the food coming I could barely engage in any conversations, and even if I did I wasn't really there. The wait would make me so anxious to the point my throat would start to tighten up, suddenly I would be trying clear it. The moment the food came, the lump in my throat was gone. I would spend the next few hours feeling free, eating anything I want, sometimes I would feel content with just a meal other times the "all or nothing" thinking would take over and I would eat everything. Once I was done my "scheduled weekly cheat" I started to over think. I started to worry about what I would look like the following day. The fear of gaining weight would sink in leaving me upset and stressed. The following day I would always weigh myself. The increase in the numbers on the scale would make me miserable and not a nice person to be around. I would be irritable and snappy at the ones I loved. I wouldn't eat any carbs that day. I would look at myself in the mirror and think about "how fat I looked" and quickly my mind would shift to what I could do to start losing weight. Some cheat meals got to the point where I would use a natural laxative, but I would always lie to myself and convince myself that it was "needed" because of my digestion issues. I've taken a step back and from here I can see how truly unhealthy my relationship with food had become. Continued

A post shared by victoriadariano (@victoriadariano) on Jun 9, 2017 at 9:02am PDT

In a series of posts, she shows her body in different ways and questions why her sitting a certain way is deemed more beautiful than she sitting in a less posed way that shows off her tummy and cellulite. 

She says "Bad posture and good posture. Why does one have to be beautiful and the other not? Through this new journey I am starting to learn what "fake" happiness is and what real happiness should feel like."

 

Bad posture and good posture. Why does one have to be beautiful and the other not? Through this new journey I am starting to learn what "fake" happiness is and what real should feel like. "Fake" happiness: -basing your self-worth on your body. -only being happy when your body looks a certain way. -basing you happiness on the validation from others. -doing anything to reach this "ideal body." -never being satisfied with the way you look but always chasing the next "goal physique." -valuing the opinion of others about yourself more than you value your own opinion of yourself -comparing to others and thinking if you look that way you'll be happy. -missing out on life to achieve this "perfect" physique. -settling for mediocracy and being "safe" verses taking a chance and following your heart and perhaps failing. -being "rich" even if you hate what you are doing. See all of these things? We think that achieving them will make us happy, and yes perhaps it will but eventually that happiness will fade because it's not real, it's just temporary happiness based on these superficial things. What I THINK real happiness is (and am working on): -basing your self-worth on who you are as person on the inside, regardless of what you look like. -basing happiness on the ability for YOU to love yourself, NOT through the validation of others. -Putting your Heath first, both mentally and physically over looking a certain way. -being able to be present and happy with the way you look right now and not feel the need to change it. Unless you genuinely want to, for YOU. -allowing yourself to change in order to grow to make you a better person NOT because you don't like who you are. -Making your opinion about yourself the most important thing regardless of what others have to say. -acknowledging you are YOU for a reason and not wanting to be someone else but instead the best possible version of yourself. -enjoying life and understanding that there is more to it all than just looking a certain way. -following your heart and going after your inner greatness even if it will threaten and upset people. -following your passion regardless of how much money you will make.continued

A post shared by victoriadariano (@victoriadariano) on Jun 11, 2017 at 9:47am PDT

She describes what she sees as 'fake' happiness; basing your happiness on how you look, caring more about what other people think of you than your own opinion of yourself and missing out on life in order to obtain your idea of a perfect physique, to name a few.

She says real happiness can be achieved when you put your health, both physical and mental, first and by only changing the way your body looks if you genuinely want to for you.

We're with ya, girl!