8 things you should NEVER say to your girlfriend


There are some things girls just don't like hearing, we could have written a book about these things but there isn't enough paper in the world, so instead we summarised a few of them into a short list. Here are 8 things you should never say to your girlfriend. Ever, ever, everrrrrr.

1. “Are you on your period?”
Just go home.


2. “One time my ex… ”
Woah, hold up. Unless the end of that sentence is “plummeted back to the depths of hell where she belongs,” then we would prefer it if you could give this story a miss.


3. “Aw look at your cute little moustache… ”
Well that killed the mood


4. “The dress you wore out last Saturday was nicer”
Alright Ralph Lauren, don’t get your overly worn chinos in a twist.


5. “To be fair though, I would”
This was a test, you were supposed to say she looks like a slice of mouldy bread. Compliments are only okay if they are celebrities, and even then you don’t need to openly confess that Michelle Keegan is prettier than your girlfriend.


6. “I was out with the lads and this girl kept flirting with me”
“Ha that’s so funny, I'm not even jealous, I was having loads of fun that night too…" 


7. “Just leave it”
Leave it? LEAVE IT? Are you hiding something? Why won’t you talk about it? Is she in your wardrobe?


8. “Yeah I was telling my friends about how you said..”
Ah here, if I wanted all the lads to know about the things we discuss when we cuddle then I would have just sent a group Facebook message. Must avoid future awkward eye contact with his best friend…