Trip to the cinema – The Stages

Remember when a trip to the cinema was the easier option? When you didn’t want to wear five inch heels or have a pint slopped down your arm, then the cinema was the Get Out Of Jail Free card. You’re still going OUT, you’re just not going OUT OUT. Everybody wins!

So when did the easier option suddenly become a complete head melt? Have you ever flopped into your cinema seat and felt utterly shattered by everything that went before? Yeah, that’s  because you’re experiencing Movie Goer Fatigue.

Let’s take a look at the stages, shall we?

You really want a trip to the flicks, but trying to get yourself, your significant other and a few friends in the local multiplex at a time that suits everyone is harder than making a 9am lecture.

Pilates, late shifts and football training have been conspiring against you for weeks and you’re starting to realise the company isn’t as important as getting to see the actual damn film!

Front, middle or back? It sounds like a fairly straightforward question, so why do you break out in a sweat and forget how to speak English. “Ehhh…baaaiiiddle?”, you reply while your friends nod in agreement. Flawless.

It doesn’t stop there though. VIP seats? Hell no, we’re not made of money. That won’t stop us from trying to sneak into them later though.

The deals. We never know if we’re getting a good bargain or not. Do we NEED nachos, popcorn, a drink AND a family-sized bag of Minstrals? Yes, we do. It’s economics.

Damn, Ben& Jerry’s stand! I don’t have enough hands!

God forbid, you head to a cinema with a bar. We’ve missed more than one movie because our friend’s drunk on Pinot noir impression of her boss was too good to interrupt.

Should we go in now? Trailers have to be over, right? Nah, one more round!

Toilet breaks
Should you go now, just in case? But you don’t NEED to go now. Although you ARE about to drink what looks like a bucket of diet coke, shouldn’t you prepare yourself? Yes, no, yes, no.

Look at that queue! No!

And then…
You’ve made it! You’re actually pushing open the doors of Screen #7 and are about to see the film you’ve been banging on about for weeks. Careful now, while you spill your drink, trip up the stairs and attempt to sit in the lap of some oul lad. This better be worth it.